Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMMFG10PYRN6TN1REB3PRB4

Run Details

Model:: Hermes 3 405B
Test:: Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:: Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:: 1m 22s
Cost:: $0.002818
Provider:: DeepInfra

Model input

System

You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue.

You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex.

Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.

User/Human

<codex>
<character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist">
  <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor>
  <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair>
  <height>5'6"</height>
  <age>25</age>
  <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar>
  <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description>
  <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory>
</character>

<character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card">
  <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor>
  <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height>
  <age>ageless</age>
  <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form>
  <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice>
  <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description>
  <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory>
</character>

<character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle">
  <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor>
  <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair>
  <height>5'5"</height>
  <age>300 years old</age>
  <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance>
  <speech>speaks in riddles</speech>
  <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints>
  <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion>
  <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description>
  <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory>
</character>

<location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony">
  <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler>
  <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor>
  <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description>
</location>

<location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)">
  <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation>
  <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones>
  <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior>
  <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora>
  <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description>
</location>

<item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas">
  <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor>
  <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial>
  <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size>
  <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior>
  <glow>faint inner glow</glow>
  <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description>
</item>

<item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts">
  <material>moonsilver</material>
  <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape>
  <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature>
  <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow>
  <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power>
  <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo>
  <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description>
</item>

<lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology">
  <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect>
  <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance>
  <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring>
  <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description>
</lore>
</codex>

Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre.

A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition.

Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore.
Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

Rory stepped through the shimmering rift, her boots sinking into the spongy moss beyond. Nyx and Isolde followed close behind. The air hummed with energy as the Veil sealed itself shut, cutting off their path back to the grove.

They had crossed into Dymas, the realm of Gluttony. Amber skies stretched overhead, bathing them in honeyed light. Rolling hills swathed in jade green grass spread out before them, dotted with groves of peculiar trees. Bulbous trunks like overripe squash supported twisting branches laden with obscene fruit – swollen orbs in shades of plum, citrine, and crimson. The air was heady with their sickly-sweet scent.

"Well, this is different," Rory muttered. Her hand instinctively went to the Heartstone pendant beneath her shirt. It pulsed gently against her skin, emanating warmth. "Guess we're in the right place."

Nyx flowed past her in a swirl of shadow, their form shifting and condensing. Violet eyes surveyed the alien landscape with keen interest. "Fascinating. A manifestation of extravagance and overindulgence."

"Given the nature of this realm's ruler, I expected no less." Isolde's lilting voice was oddly muted here. With a sweep of her silvery hair, she started forward, leaving no footprints in the plush moss. "We should keep moving. The crossing will have drawn attention."

Rory fell into step beside the ageless seer, one hand resting on the moonsilver hilt at her hip. A gift from Isolde, the Fae blade was feather-light and cool to the touch. She hoped she wouldn't need to use it.

They crested a hill and stopped short. Below them sprawled a garden of absurd grandeur. Perfectly manicured topiaries lined crushed marble pathways – fantastical shapes of dragons, basilisks and other mythical beasts, each standing twenty feet tall or more. Fountains jetted glittering water from gilded spouts. Flowers bloomed in unnatural neon shades, tended by dozens of figures in brown robes. Workers, Rory realized with a start. Helbound souls.

As they watched, a group of brown-robed men and women emerged from a grove bearing baskets overflowing with that garish fruit. They deposited their burdens in waiting carts and returned to the trees without a word.

Nyx circled the scene in their shadow form, passing through topiaries and solid stone alike. "The condemned, bound to labor in Dymas' gardens for their sins of excess."

"An endless harvest for an eternal feast," Isolde murmured. "The Prince of Gluttony knows how to set an extravagant table."

Rory shook her head. "But where is this Prince? If he's so important, shouldn't he be here to greet us?"

A deep, rich chuckle rolled through the garden. "Ah, but where is the fun in that, Miss Carter?" The air shimmered and a figure materialized before them on the path – a grotesquely obese man in finery of gold silk and jewels. Rubies winked from the rings weighing down his sausagelike fingers; loops of pearls hung from his bulging neck. Oiled black curls framed a face all jowls and piggish eyes.

He leered at them and sketched a mockery of a bow. "Welcome to my domain, dear guests. I am Prince Belphegor and you are just in time for the Feast of Eternities."

Rory tensed as the demon prince sauntered closer, his bulk jiggling obscenely. Nyx coalesced at her side, a solid shadow with a tense set to their shoulders. Isolde stood unmoving, her face an impassive mask.

Belphegor stopped before Rory and reached out a meaty hand to stroke her cheek. "Mmm, yes. A rare delicacy, this one." His touch made her skin crawl. "Untainted by sin, succulent with youth and vitality. Your soul will be the envy of tonight's banquet, my dear!"

The Heartstone pendant flared against her chest, flooding her with heat and light. Snarling, Belphegor snatched his hand back. "What is this? What trickery do you bring to my realm, girl?"

Rory slapped his hand away, her voice steady despite the thundering of her heart. "No tricks here, you sleazy bastard. We came for answers, not to be groped by some second-rate Muppet."

She felt more than saw Isolde wince beside her, but the words had their intended effect. Rage mottled the demon's face as he loomed over her, spittle flying from his lips. "You DARE insult me, mortal whelp? You, whose soul is forfeit to me by right of domain? I –"

" – will enlighten us as to the nature of Aurora's mysterious benefactor," Isolde cut in smoothly. She fixed the glowering demon with a placid stare. "In exchange for our willing participation in your…feast."

Belphegor's eyes narrowed as he considered the Half-Fae seer. "A boon for a boon, then? Mmm, very well. The girl wears the Heartstone, a relic of Dymas. It was given into the keeping of one who moves between worlds and shared with her, for purposes yet unclear."

He smiled, a nasty thing full of teeth. "As your lives are now forfeit, I fear enlightenment shall remain beyond – "

A knife-edge of shadow sliced through his words. Nyx stood bristling with darkness at Rory's side, their whisper-voice cutting across the demon's bluster. "Enough. We will attend your repulsive feast and pay the price of passage, Prince of Gluttony. Pray we do not find further cause to regret it."

Belphegor sneered but made no reply. With a snide bow, the Prince of Gluttony led them from the grotesque gardens and into the twisted heart of Dymas.

Evaluation details

Result

Evaluator

Details

Meta Data

22.2222%

Adverbs in dialogue tags

Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs

totalTags

adverbTagCount

adverbTags

0	"Isolde cut in smoothly [smoothly]"

66.5924%

AI-ism adverb frequency

Target: <1% AI-ism adverbs (57 tracked)

wordCount

898

totalAiIsmAdverbs

found

adverb	"gently"
count	1

adverb	"perfectly"
count	1

adverb	"very"
count	1

highlights

0	"gently"
1	"perfectly"
2	"very"

100.0000%

AI-ism character names

Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)

codexExemptions	(empty)
found	(empty)

100.0000%

AI-ism location names

Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)

codexExemptions	(empty)
found	(empty)

55.4566%

AI-ism word frequency

Target: <1% AI-ism words (140 tracked)

wordCount

898

totalAiIsms

found

word	"shimmered"
count	1

word	"loomed"
count	1

word	"silk"
count	1

word	"marble"
count	1

highlights

0	"shimmered"
1	"loomed"
2	"silk"
3	"marble"

100.0000%

Cliche density

Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window

totalCliches

maxInWindow

found

label	"eyes widened/narrowed"
count	1

highlights

0	"eyes narrowed"

100.0000%

Emotion telling (show vs. tell)

Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling

emotionTells	0
narrationSentences	53
matches	(empty)

100.0000%

Filter word density

Target: ≤12% sentences with filter/hedge words

filterCount	0
hedgeCount	0
narrationSentences	53
filterMatches	(empty)
hedgeMatches	(empty)

100.0000%

Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)

Target: ≤10% sentences with "that" clauses

thatCount	0
totalSentences	68
matches	(empty)

60.0118%

Paragraph length variance

Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts

totalParagraphs

mean

39.04

std

14.06

0.36

sampleLengths

0	39
1	65
2	31
3	30
4	45
5	40
6	68
7	36
8	28
9	20
10	20
11	71
12	32
13	35
14	46
15	31
16	32
17	50
18	34
19	47
20	22
21	49
22	27

100.0000%

Passive voice overuse

Target: ≤5% passive sentences

passiveCount	0
totalSentences	53
matches	(empty)

100.0000%

Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse

Target: ≤10% past progressive verbs

pastProgressiveCount	0
totalVerbs	98
matches	(empty)

100.0000%

Purple prose (modifier overload)

Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking

wordCount	611
adjectiveStacks	0
stackExamples	(empty)
adverbCount	11
adverbRatio	0.01800327332242226
lyAdverbCount	9
lyAdverbRatio	0.014729950900163666

100.0000%

Repeated phrase echo

Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)

totalSentences	68
echoCount	0
echoWords	(empty)

100.0000%

Sentence length variance

Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts

totalSentences

mean

13.21

std

6.51

0.493

sampleLengths

0	14
1	6
2	19
3	9
4	9
5	17
6	22
7	8
8	6
9	11
10	8
11	6
12	14
13	9
14	7
15	18
16	17
17	10
18	18
19	14
20	8
21	7
22	8
23	24
24	7
25	14
26	6
27	2
28	21
29	15
30	15
31	13
32	9
33	11
34	4
35	16
36	8
37	34
38	18
39	11
40	11
41	21
42	12
43	15
44	8
45	14
46	13
47	19
48	13
49	6

100.0000%

Sentence opener variety

Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers

consecutiveRepeats	0
diversityRatio	0.6470588235294118
totalSentences	68
uniqueOpeners	44

0.0000%

Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)

Target: ≤30% fancy dialogue tags

totalTags

fancyCount

fancyTags

0	"Rory muttered (mutter)"
1	"Isolde murmured (murmur)"
2	"Isolde cut in smoothly (isolde cut in smooth)"

82.6049%