NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMPBDBPHCJNW661YJ83BTB0
Run Details
Model:
GPT-4o Mini (temp=1)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Thriller: chase through city streets
Duration:
29.3s
Cost:
$0.001082
Model input
System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Raindrops pelted the pavement with rapid-fire percussion, and Harlow Quinn felt the sting of cold water on her skin as she sprinted after the suspect. The world around her faded into a blur of gray and black, the neon lights from a nearby bar flickering shakily through curtains of rain. She tightened her grip on the worn leather strap of her
watch
, the ticking reminding her that each second mattered. The man she pursued darted around a corner, his dark figure melding into the shadows of the alleyway. Quinn’s heart surged—she couldn’t let him slip away again. He had answers, pieces of a puzzle that had haunted her since that fateful day three years ago when she lost her partner, DS Morris, to something she still couldn’t comprehend. "You can't run from the Metropolitan Police," she called, her voice breaking through the downpour, commanding yet strained. But he didn’t look back, only pushing harder, desperation evident in his movements. Her breath came in sharp bursts, a rhythm that matched her pounding heart. She had been on the force long enough to recognize the signs—this man
was scared
, not just of arrest but of something worse. It spurred her on. Drenched hair plastered to her scalp, she rounded the corner, eyes narrowing in determination. The streetlights glimmered off the slick surfaces, casting shimmering reflections that danced with her
footsteps
. The city was alive, but it felt like a ghost town, the only sounds the trickle of rainwater and the rush of her pulse. She spotted the suspect once more, his silhouette slipping beneath an iron grate—a manhole opening that led deep into the underground. Quinn hesitated, the instinct to pursue battling with a twinge of caution. She had ventured into unknown territory before, but that was when she had Morris by her side. She couldn’t shake the memory of their final case, the odd occurrences that surrounded it—the whispers of the supernatural that still
echo
ed through her thoughts. This man, this grim figure she chased,
was tied
to it all. Without thinking, she leaned into the darkness, weighing her options. Forcing herself to inhale, she felt the
weight
of her badge, heavy against her chest. But what did the badge mean in a world where the familiar rules had twisted? From the dripping gutter alongside her, a flash of movement caught her eye; a rat scurried past,
navigating
the city’s underbelly with ease. She felt a frisson of understanding—this chase was about to plunge deeper than she intended. With resolve hardening her spine, she dropped into the opening. The grasp of damp air enveloped her instantly, and she landed on a slick concrete floor, the sound of rushing water
echo
ing around her. The way the darkness swallowed her whole made her heart race with a mix of anxious
anticipation
and adrenaline. “Stop!” she shouted, but the sound fell flat, swallowed by the whispering shadows. The gleam of a single bulb revealed twisted pipes and graffiti-covered walls, but no sign of the suspect. She pressed on, her senses heightened, every instinct honed as she maneuvered through the shadows.
The air was thick with
the scent of mold and something bitter, a warning of danger lurking just beyond the edges of her vision. Quinn hurried past flickering lights, each shadow
cascading
against the walls a reminder of the secrets packed
tightly
into this place. There was something mechanical about the chambers ahead, something that stirred unease in her gut. She hated mysteries, especially the ones she couldn’t solve. The thrum of distant voices caught her attention, mingling with the
echo
of
footsteps
on metal grates. Intrigued and terrified in equal measure, she pressed forward. The further she traveled, the more the atmosphere shifted; it hummed with
unspoken
power, laced with the
palpable
tension of secrecy. This must be the Veil Market, she thought, recalling the whispers she had heard, snippets of conversation suggesting it was an underground bazaar for the supernatural. The horror of its existence mingled with the thrill of impending discovery. She couldn’t retreat now—not when she was this close. The voices grew clearer, a mix of laughter and hushed tones, and she recognized the rigid edge of fear lurking within them. She approached a heavy steel door, a rusted barrier that separated her from the illicit dealings of this hidden underbelly. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it open, the hinges groaning in protest. Inside, the Market pulsed with life. Tables were laden with wares that sparkled in the dim light—glass vials filled with iridescent liquids, curiosities whose prices
were steeped
in danger, and a half-dozen pairs of eyes that regarded her with a mix of curiosity and caution. She stepped in, aware that she was now an intruder in a realm she barely understood. At the far end, she spotted him—the man she had been chasing. He stood among an odd assembly of traders, their voices rising and falling like a tide, speaking in hurried whispers. She could see his face now, the lines
etched
with worry that deepened as he glanced around, clearly still on edge. “Tomás, I know you’re here!” she called, startling the crowd, their murmurs stifling at the mention of a name that had its own connotations in this space. She pushed through the crowd, her eyes never leaving the man. Relief
flickered
across his face, an incongruous reaction
amidst
the tension. But before she could get closer, he turned abruptly, slipping deeper into the maze of market stalls. “Stop!” she shouted again, urgency lacing her voice. The collective focus of the Market shifted to her, intrigued and wary, and she felt their eyes like hot coals on her back. The realization settled heavily—here, surrounded by the supernatural, she was both hunter and hunted. The man glanced back just once, panic sharp in his gaze. “You don’t want to be here, Detective!” “Tell me what you know!” she demanded, frustration seeping into her tone. “Tell me why I’m here!” He vanished behind a curtain of heavy fabric, and Quinn followed, tearing through the flimsy barrier. The back room received her like the cold embrace of a morning fog, its atmosphere thick and electric. She spotted Tomás once more, cornered and defensive, as he pressed against a crate of glimmering potions. His chest heaved, breathless, desperation evident. “You can’t—they’ll know you’re a cop. You need to leave. Now!” “I need answers!” Quinn stepped closer, mind racing as the reality of this moment wrapped around her. Here was a man who had cared for the wounded in ways that made her questions burn hotter. “Please, Tomás. I can’t do this alone.” His expression faltered, caught between defiance and a desperate urge to trust. “Alright, but you have to understand,” he warned, hesitant, “coming here is like diving into the deep end without knowing how to swim.” Quinn’s sharp jaw tightened, the
weight
of her past hardened her resolve even further. “I’ve fought monsters before, and I’m not afraid of the dark.” With a resigned breath, he gestured toward the shadowy corners of the room. “Then listen closely,” he said, urgency sharpening his words. “If you want the truth, you’ll have to be willing to pay the price.” As the rain drummed relentlessly above them, the beating heart of the Market promised secrets that could expose them both—if only she dared to push deeper into the unknown. Quinn’s determination surged within her as the thread of this new story
began to
unravel
, and she took a step forward into the chaotic vibrance of the Veil Market.
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.0000%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
7
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
92.1322%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism adverbs (57 tracked)
wordCount
1271
totalAiIsmAdverbs
1
found
0
adverb
"tightly"
count
1
highlights
0
"tightly"
100.0000%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.0000%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
0.0000%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism words (140 tracked)
wordCount
1271
totalAiIsms
16
found
0
word
"palpable"
count
1
1
word
"flickered"
count
1
2
word
"cascading"
count
1
3
word
"unspoken"
count
1
4
word
"anticipation"
count
1
5
word
"weight"
count
2
6
word
"footsteps"
count
2
7
word
"amidst"
count
1
8
word
"echo"
count
1
9
word
"echoed"
count
1
10
word
"echoing"
count
1
11
word
"etched"
count
1
12
word
"navigating"
count
1
13
word
"unravel"
count
1
highlights
0
"palpable"
1
"flickered"
2
"cascading"
3
"unspoken"
4
"anticipation"
5
"weight"
6
"footsteps"
7
"amidst"
8
"echo"
9
"echoed"
10
"echoing"
11
"etched"
12
"navigating"
13
"unravel"
100.0000%
Cliche density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"air was thick with"
count
1
highlights
0
"The air was thick with"
100.0000%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
1
narrationSentences
71
matches
0
"was scared"
100.0000%
Filter word density
Target: ≤12% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
1
hedgeCount
1
narrationSentences
71
filterMatches
0
"watch"
hedgeMatches
0
"began to"
100.0000%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤10% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
77
matches
(empty)
58.1570%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
27
mean
46.59
std
16.47
cv
0.354
sampleLengths
0
70
1
58
2
31
3
54
4
60
5
66
6
78
7
53
8
70
9
45
10
47
11
47
12
55
13
61
14
53
15
27
16
39
17
45
18
18
19
17
20
51
21
17
22
42
23
35
24
25
25
36
26
58
100.0000%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤5% passive sentences
passiveCount
2
totalSentences
71
matches
0
"was tied"
1
"were steeped"
100.0000%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤10% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
0
totalVerbs
206
matches
(empty)
100.0000%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
1171
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
37
adverbRatio
0.03159692570452605
lyAdverbCount
15
lyAdverbRatio
0.012809564474807857
100.0000%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
77
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.0000%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
77
mean
16.34
std
6.69
cv
0.41
sampleLengths
0
25
1
25
2
20
3
18
4
9
5
31
6
18
7
13
8
13
9
23
10
4
11
14
12
15
13
24
14
21
15
12
16
17
17
25
18
12
19
10
20
15
21
15
22
23
23
15
24
10
25
24
26
19
27
13
28
18
29
15
30
24
31
21
32
15
33
9
34
17
35
9
36
21
37
26
38
12
39
9
40
22
41
20
42
13
43
6
44
39
45
16
46
12
47
20
48
21
49
27
63.6364%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
6
diversityRatio
0.42857142857142855
totalSentences
77
uniqueOpeners
33
0.0000%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤30% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
7
fancyCount
6
fancyTags
0
"she called, her voice breaking through the downpour, commanding yet strained (call, break command strain)"
1
"shouted (shout)"
2
"shouted (shout)"
3
"demanded (demand)"
4
"he warned, hesitant (warn)"
5
"he said, urgency sharpening his words (say, sharpen)"
83.1721%