NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMPE845VXYGD9G6S7ETC5K1
Run Details
Model:
GPT-4o Mini (temp=1)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Mystery: examining a crime scene
Duration:
30.5s
Cost:
$0.001145
Model input
System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Detective Harlow Quinn stepped into the abandoned Tube station, the stale air heavy with layers of dust and long-abandoned secrets. The dim light
flickered
overhead, struggling to break through the gloom that clung to the cracked walls like a shroud. The Market
was rumored
to have moved into this forgotten underworld, an unholy realm where the lines between the mundane and the supernatural blurred. Today, it was a crime scene, and Quinn’s senses tingled with a mix of dread and curiosity. Her brown eyes
flickered
over the scene—the body lay crumpled near a faded “Mind the Gap” sign, an unsettling juxtaposition against the romantic decay of old transport. The victim, a twenty-something they had tentatively identified as a low-level dealer in enchanted goods,
was sprawled
awkwardly, limbs askew in a way that suggested a struggle. Blood pooled beneath him, dark and thick, soaking into the cracks of the tiled floor, reminiscent of spilled ink on parchment. “Quinn! Over here!” a familiar voice called out, rousing her from her thoughts. It was Detective Jamie
Chen
, his face taut with concern. The tension between them was
palpable
, a current coursing through the air. Despite their shared years of service, the circumstances of her past had driven a wedge between them—a wall Quinn had no interest in scaling. “What do they say about our victim?” she asked, her voice clipped, eyes narrowing as they darted over his features. “Name’s Aaron Graves. Small-time operator, just a cog in the wheel of the Veil Market,”
Chen
replied, crouching over the body. He drew an ungloved hand across his brow, the sterile touch of latex sparking a memory of what they both lost three years prior. DS Morris. She could feel the
weight
of the past suffocating her resolve, but she pushed it aside, focusing instead on the present horror that surrounded them. “Then why the hell is he out here?” Quinn mused, her voice lowering as she examined the area around the body with a meticulous eye. “This isn’t typical turf for an enchanter. It doesn’t make sense.”
Chen
shifted, a hint of discomfort flushing in his cheeks. “He might’ve been meeting someone. Someone who didn’t take kindly to his... business practices.” Quinn shook her head. “No. Look at the way he fell—no sign of struggle. Whoever did this wanted him to die here, in this place. Why not in the Market? It’s essentially a cemetery of deals gone sideways; no one notices yet another ghost wandering through the shadows. There should be plenty of evidence if he was an important player in their dark games.” To her surprise,
Chen
distractedly rifled through the leather satchel that lay half-open near the victim. “Maybe you’re overthinking it. There’s no crime like a mundane murder when you can find a good supernatural angle.” She watched him pull out an assortment of trinkets, eyes narrowing as she noticed something
glint
among the motley collection. It was a small brass compass, dully
gleaming
beneath the flooded lights. Quinn’s breath caught in her throat; the needle spun
lazily
in circles, as though caught in a dream. “The Veil Compass,” she breathed, moving closer. “It shouldn’t be here.” “Good catch, Detective,”
Chen
said, voice tentative. Quinn single-mindedly focused on the needle’s erratic movement. The compass was no ordinary tool; it was a vessel of knowledge, designed to point toward supernatural disturbances. Only someone intricately tied to the Market would carry such an item. The implications swirled like smoke before her—Graves might have been a bigger player than they first assumed. “How did he get this?” she asked, snapping her gaze back to
Chen
. He grimaced but remained silent. “It’s a crucial piece of evidence.” “Or just a trinket. It might explain his death if you think it was some cleaner wanting to settle a score,” he suggested. She detected a nervous edge lacing his words, and Quinn felt her heart harden. “And yet it tells me something more. If it was just a simple feud, he wouldn’t have been killed here without any sign of a struggle or chases through the Market. Chains of power run deep beneath the surface, and we’re just scratching the veneer.” She glanced at the walls, whose once-vibrant advertisements faded into nothingness. “Look around. This place is forgotten, yet it’s packed with potential for all kinds of crime.”
Chen
straightened, hands on his hips. “I’m not sure it changes the case’s direction, if I’m honest. We don’t have anything concrete; it could just as easily be a drug deal gone wrong.” Quinn caught a
flicker
of movement from the far corner of the station. Something shifted beneath a tangle of shadows—a figure almost imperceptibly slinking away, a flash of color against the barren landscape. Her instincts prickled, urgent and demanding. “Stay here,” she commanded, before darting toward the shadows, adrenaline spurring her into motion. She closed the distance
quickly
, relying on her training, her body moving with practiced precision through the debris of the derelict space. Dust motes danced in the narrow beams of light, her gaze locking on the figure that was
slowly
revealing itself. It was a girl, perhaps no older than sixteen, her curly red hair popping against the grim surroundings. Fear
flickered
in her green eyes, and Quinn softened instinctively; she knew the allure of the Market could ensnare anyone desperate enough. “Wait!” Quinn called out, her voice softer this time. The girl hesitated, eyes darting towards
Chen
standing awkwardly by the body. “I’m not here to hurt you. I need to ask you something,” Quinn added, stepping closer. The girl took a step back, posture taut, clearly torn between fleeing and submitting to Quinn’s quiet authority. “Who are you?” she croaked, a quiver in her voice. “Detective Harlow Quinn. I’m investigating what happened here. I know you saw something.” “Why would I tell you anything?” she retorted, a spark of defiance igniting. “Because, whatever you’re caught up in, it will only become worse. You
know that.” Quinn’s
gaze was steady, the desperation evident in the girl’s attitude. After a long pause, the girl lowered her guard
slightly
, her brow
furrowing
. “I… I saw him with a group. They seemed off, like they were hiding something important. They had strange things with them. The Veil Compass—it belonged to them.” Quinn felt the pieces sliding into place, realization dawning. “Do you know who they met?” “N-no,” the girl stammered. “But I heard them talk about the rifts. They’re moving goods across from one to another.” The
weight
of the revelation hung taut in the air, as Quinn stepped back, her mind racing with implications that spiraled outward like the compass’s needle. She exchanged a quick glance with
Chen
, who approached, curiosity piqued. “The rifts?” he
echoed
, concern blending with the intrigue. “Things are more entangled than we thought,” Quinn replied, a fire igniting within her. The crime scene, the fallen body, the compass—it all pointed toward something far more treacherous than she had suspected. “This could spiral out of control, Quinn. We’re talking about a criminal network that stretches beyond this case.” “I know,” she replied, determination hardening her features. “But we’re going to find the heart of this. We owe it to those who lost their lives under the
weight
of it, and to those who might lose more.” Quinn’s resolve hardened as they turned back toward the shadows of the marketplace. The darkness felt less like an abyss and more like a puzzle waiting to be solved. The smell of decay in the air was pungent, but somewhere within the scent of iron and dust, she could sense the faintest trace of something extraordinary stirring. They were only beginning to scratch the surface, and Quinn in
tended to
dive deep, wherever it may lead.
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.0000%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
15
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
69.3721%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism adverbs (57 tracked)
wordCount
1306
totalAiIsmAdverbs
4
found
0
adverb
"lazily"
count
1
1
adverb
"quickly"
count
1
2
adverb
"slightly"
count
1
3
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
highlights
0
"lazily"
1
"quickly"
2
"slightly"
3
"slowly"
80.0000%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
0
"Chen"
100.0000%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
8.1164%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism words (140 tracked)
wordCount
1306
totalAiIsms
12
found
0
word
"palpable"
count
1
1
word
"flickered"
count
3
2
word
"flicker"
count
1
3
word
"gleaming"
count
1
4
word
"glint"
count
1
5
word
"furrowing"
count
1
6
word
"weight"
count
3
7
word
"echoed"
count
1
highlights
0
"palpable"
1
"flickered"
2
"flicker"
3
"gleaming"
4
"glint"
5
"furrowing"
6
"weight"
7
"echoed"
100.0000%
Cliche density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
0
maxInWindow
0
found
(empty)
highlights
(empty)
100.0000%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
63
matches
(empty)
100.0000%
Filter word density
Target: ≤12% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
1
narrationSentences
63
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
0
"tended to"
100.0000%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤10% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
1
totalSentences
77
matches
0
"know that.” Quinn’s"
100.0000%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
35
mean
36.91
std
20.1
cv
0.544
sampleLengths
0
81
1
75
2
59
3
20
4
72
5
36
6
24
7
64
8
35
9
50
10
11
11
7
12
55
13
24
14
37
15
72
16
33
17
53
18
42
19
40
20
37
21
28
22
13
23
13
24
25
25
41
26
15
27
20
28
37
29
9
30
33
31
18
32
38
33
57
34
18
100.0000%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤5% passive sentences
passiveCount
2
totalSentences
63
matches
0
"was rumored"
1
"was sprawled"
100.0000%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤10% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
0
totalVerbs
150
matches
(empty)
99.4648%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
872
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
32
adverbRatio
0.03669724770642202
lyAdverbCount
18
lyAdverbRatio
0.020642201834862386
100.0000%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
77
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.0000%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
77
mean
16.78
std
9.58
cv
0.571
sampleLengths
0
20
1
20
2
24
3
17
4
27
5
27
6
21
7
13
8
10
9
12
10
24
11
20
12
21
13
24
14
2
15
25
16
25
17
11
18
10
19
14
20
4
21
60
22
16
23
19
24
20
25
12
26
18
27
7
28
4
29
7
30
8
31
18
32
12
33
17
34
13
35
5
36
6
37
23
38
14
39
56
40
16
41
6
42
27
43
13
44
20
45
6
46
14
47
22
48
20
49
18
83.9827%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
2
diversityRatio
0.5194805194805194
totalSentences
77
uniqueOpeners
40
0.0000%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤30% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
15
fancyCount
11
fancyTags
0
"Chen replied, crouching over the body (reply, crouch)"
1
"she breathed, moving closer (breathe, move)"
2
"Chen said, voice tentative (say, voice)"
3
"he suggested (suggest)"
4
"she commanded, before darting toward the shadows, adrenaline spurring her into motion (command, dart spur)"
5
"Quinn added, stepping closer (add, step)"
6
"croaked (croak)"
7
"retorted (retort)"
8
"the girl stammered (stammer)"
9
"Quinn replied, a fire igniting within her (reply, ignite)"
10
"she replied, determination hardening her features (reply, harden)"
84.7609%