NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMPG9NT852WJYVMJQD20J8W
Run Details
Model:
GPT-4o Mini (temp=0)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Thriller: chase through city streets
Duration:
20.8s
Cost:
$0.001150
Model input
System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
The rain fell in sheets, a relentless curtain that blurred the neon lights of Soho into a
kaleidoscope
of color. Detective Harlow Quinn pressed forward, her sharp jaw set in determination as she
navigated
the slick pavement. Each step sent a splash of cold water up her legs, but she barely noticed. The city was alive with the pulse of the night, and she was on the hunt. Ahead, a figure darted into an alley, a shadow slipping through the darkness. Quinn’s heart raced, adrenaline surging as she quickened her pace. She could see the suspect’s silhouette, a fleeting glimpse of a hooded jacket, before he vanished into the narrow passage. Quinn skidded to a halt at the mouth of the alley, rain drenching her closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair. She could hear the distant hum of traffic, the muffled sounds of laughter and music from nearby bars, but all of that faded into the background. It was just her and the chase. “Stop!” she shouted, her voice cutting through the rain. The
echo
of her command bounced off the brick walls, but the figure didn’t hesitate. He was fast, too fast, and Quinn cursed under her breath as she plunged into the alley after him. The alley was a labyrinth of shadows and refuse, the scent of damp earth and something more
sinister
hanging in the air. Quinn’s boots splashed through puddles, her worn leather
watch
ticking steadily on her wrist, a reminder of the time slipping away. She rounded a corner, her breath coming in sharp bursts, and caught sight of him again. He
was climbing
over a low wall, disappearing into the darkness beyond. “Damn it!” Quinn muttered, her voice barely audible over the rain. She leaped over the wall, her military precision guiding her movements as she landed on the other side. The ground was uneven, littered with debris, and she stumbled
slightly
but regained her footing. The suspect was nowhere in sight, but she could hear the faint sound of
footsteps
echo
ing in the distance. She followed the sound, her instincts honed from eighteen years of service guiding her deeper into the unknown. The alley opened up into a wider space, and Quinn paused, scanning her surroundings.
The air was thick with
tension, and the rain drummed a steady rhythm against the pavement. She could see a faint glow ahead, a flickering light that beckoned her forward. As she approached, the glow intensified, revealing a heavy door set into the side of a crumbling building. A sign above it
flickered
erratically, the letters barely legible through the rain. The Raven’s Nest. Quinn hesitated, her heart pounding in her chest. This was no ordinary bar; she had heard whispers of it, a place where the supernatural mingled with the mundane, where secrets
were traded
like currency. The
footsteps
had faded, and she was left with a choice: turn back and lose her suspect, or step into the unknown. Quinn’s jaw tightened. She had lost too much already—her partner, DS Morris, three years ago under circumstances that still haunted her. She couldn’t afford to let this slip away. With a deep breath, she pushed the door open. Inside, the bar was dimly lit, the air thick with the scent of whiskey and something else—something that
sent a shiver down
her spine. The walls
were adorned
with old maps and black-and-white photographs, each telling a story of a time long past. A few patrons sat hunched over their drinks, their faces obscured by shadows. Quinn’s presence drew glances, but she paid them no mind. Her focus was singular. She moved to the bar, her eyes scanning the room for any sign of her suspect. The bartender, a wiry man with a scruffy beard, wiped down the counter with a rag that looked more like a relic than a cleaning tool. Quinn leaned in, her voice low but firm. “Have you seen a man come through here? Dark jacket, hood up?” The bartender shrugged, his eyes darting to the far corner of the room. “Might’ve. Might not’ve. Depends on what you’re willing to trade for that information.” Quinn’s patience thinned. “I’m not here to barter. I’m a detective.” “Detective, huh?” He smirked, revealing a gap-toothed grin. “This ain’t your usual beat, love. You’re in the Nest now. You want answers, you gotta play by our rules.” Quinn’s fingers tightened around the edge of the bar, her mind racing. She could feel the
weight
of the room pressing in on her, the air thick with
unspoken
truths. She had heard of the Veil Market, a hidden underground bazaar that moved locations with the full moon, where enchanted goods and forbidden knowledge
were exchanged
. If her suspect had slipped into this world, she would need more than just her badge to follow. “Where’s the Veil Market?” she asked, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her. “I need to find someone.” The bartender’s eyes glinted with mischief. “You’ll need a bone token to get in. And even then, it’s not guaranteed you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Quinn’s mind raced. She had no time to waste. “I’ll find a way,” she said, her tone leaving no room for doubt. She turned to scan the room again, searching for anything that might lead her to the token. “Careful, Detective,” the bartender called after her, his voice low. “This place has a way of swallowing people whole.” Ignoring his warning, Quinn stepped deeper into the bar, her senses heightened. She spotted a group huddled in a corner, their voices low and conspiratorial. As she approached, she caught snippets of their conversation—words like “alchemical” and “forbidden.” They
were discussing
the
very
things she needed. “Excuse me,” she interrupted, her voice cutting through their chatter. “I need a bone token. Who can help me?” The group fell silent, their eyes narrowing as they assessed her. One of them, a woman with wild hair and a piercing gaze, leaned forward. “What’s a detective doing in a place like this? You’re out of your depth.” Quinn met her gaze, unflinching. “I’m not here for a social call. I’m after a suspect who’s involved in something dangerous. I
need that token
.” The woman studied her for a moment, then nodded
slowly
. “You’re brave, I’ll give you that. But bra
very
can get you killed down here. You’ll need to prove yourself.” “Prove myself?” Quinn
echo
ed, frustration bubbling beneath her calm exterior. “I don’t have time for games.” “Then you better make time,” the woman replied, a sly smile creeping across her lips. “The Veil Market doesn’t just let anyone in. You want to find your suspect? You’ll have to earn it.” Quinn’s mind raced, weighing her options. She could turn back, retreat to the safety of the rain-soaked streets, or she could dive deeper into this world, risking e
very
thing for a chance to catch her quarry. The memory of Morris flashed in her mind, the way he had always pushed her to take risks, to trust her instincts. “Fine,” she said, her voice steady. “What do I need to do?” The woman leaned back, her expression
unreadable
. “There’s a test. A simple task. Retrieve something for us from the Market, and we’ll give you your token.” Quinn nodded, determination hardening her resolve. She had come too far to turn back now. “What do you need?” The woman’s smile widened, and Quinn felt a chill run down her spine. “Just a little something from the depths of the Market. A vial of alchemical essence. It’s guarded, but I think you’ll manage.” Quinn’s heart raced. She
was stepping
into a world where danger lurked around e
very
corner, but she had no choice. She had to follow the trail, no matter where it led. With a final glance at the group, she turned and headed toward the back of the bar, ready to plunge into the unknown, ready to chase the shadows that had haunted her for too long.
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.0000%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
8
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
77.5281%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism adverbs (57 tracked)
wordCount
1335
totalAiIsmAdverbs
3
found
0
adverb
"slightly"
count
1
1
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
2
adverb
"very"
count
1
highlights
0
"slightly"
1
"slowly"
2
"very"
100.0000%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.0000%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
10.1124%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <1% AI-ism words (140 tracked)
wordCount
1335
totalAiIsms
12
found
0
word
"flickered"
count
1
1
word
"sinister"
count
1
2
word
"unspoken"
count
1
3
word
"unreadable"
count
1
4
word
"weight"
count
1
5
word
"footsteps"
count
2
6
word
"echo"
count
1
7
word
"echoed"
count
1
8
word
"echoing"
count
1
9
word
"navigated"
count
1
10
word
"kaleidoscope"
count
1
highlights
0
"flickered"
1
"sinister"
2
"unspoken"
3
"unreadable"
4
"weight"
5
"footsteps"
6
"echo"
7
"echoed"
8
"echoing"
9
"navigated"
10
"kaleidoscope"
66.6667%
Cliche density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
2
maxInWindow
2
found
0
label
"air was thick with"
count
1
1
label
"sent a shiver through"
count
1
highlights
0
"The air was thick with"
1
"sent a shiver down"
100.0000%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
79
matches
(empty)
100.0000%
Filter word density
Target: ≤12% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
1
hedgeCount
0
narrationSentences
79
filterMatches
0
"watch"
hedgeMatches
(empty)
100.0000%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤10% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
1
totalSentences
96
matches
0
"need that token"
100.0000%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
31
mean
42.77
std
22.2
cv
0.519
sampleLengths
0
68
1
94
2
43
3
71
4
63
5
62
6
68
7
60
8
70
9
62
10
26
11
11
12
28
13
74
14
19
15
26
16
39
17
19
18
46
19
19
20
39
21
25
22
29
23
16
24
34
25
57
26
12
27
26
28
19
29
35
30
66
100.0000%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤5% passive sentences
passiveCount
3
totalSentences
79
matches
0
"were traded"
1
"were adorned"
2
"were exchanged"
100.0000%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤10% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
3
totalVerbs
179
matches
0
"was climbing"
1
"were discussing"
2
"was stepping"
100.0000%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
1083
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
34
adverbRatio
0.03139427516158818
lyAdverbCount
10
lyAdverbRatio
0.009233610341643583
100.0000%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
96
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.0000%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
96
mean
13.81
std
6.57
cv
0.476
sampleLengths
0
20
1
17
2
15
3
16
4
13
5
10
6
20
7
18
8
26
9
7
10
9
11
15
12
19
13
22
14
21
15
16
16
12
17
11
18
18
19
15
20
19
21
18
22
14
23
16
24
14
25
18
26
13
27
3
28
8
29
26
30
22
31
3
32
18
33
8
34
9
35
24
36
19
37
13
38
10
39
4
40
16
41
26
42
8
43
12
44
13
45
13
46
3
47
8
48
8
49
20
50.3472%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
5
diversityRatio
0.3333333333333333
totalSentences
96
uniqueOpeners
32
18.7500%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤30% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
8
fancyCount
5
fancyTags
0
"shouted (shout)"
1
"muttered (mutter)"
2
"she said, her tone leaving no room for doubt (say, leave)"
3
"she interrupted, her voice cutting through their chatter (interrupt, cut)"
4
"the woman replied, a sly smile creeping across her lips (reply, creep)"
83.7297%