Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMR7JDP1JC0P72V6GR61A1Q

Run Details

Model:
GPT-5.2
Duration:
1m 28s
Cost:
$0.051985
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain needled the back of Detective Harlow Quinn’s neck and slid cold down the seam of her collar. Soho at midnight had a way of pretending it was still bright—shopfronts lit for no one, taxi headlights smearing through wet air—but the alley beside The Raven’s Nest stayed stubbornly dark. The bar’s distinctive green neon sign flickered over the entrance like a pulse refusing to settle. Quinn watched it from across the street, jaw set, shoulders squared, every line of her stance clipped and deliberate. Military precision had never been a choice for her. It was what kept her upright when the world tilted. A man stepped out under the neon and paused as if listening to the rain. Short, curly dark hair plastered to his head. Olive skin turned slick under the light. He kept his face angled down, but Quinn had spent eighteen years learning to read movement before features. The left arm hung a fraction stiff, as if he still remembered old damage. A scar along the forearm, maybe. Around his neck something caught green—metal, round—before it vanished under his shirt. Tomás Herrera. Quinn felt a familiar, sour heat under her ribs. Not certainty. Not yet. But enough. She pushed off the wall and crossed, boots striking shallow puddles. A car hissed past, tyres cutting water into a low spray. She didn’t break stride. “Herrera!” Her voice snapped clean through the rain. He flinched—an instant too late to play innocent. His head came up and for a fraction of a second she caught his eyes, warm brown gone hard with decision. His right hand went to his chest, the reflexive protective press of someone who kept something valuable there. Then he turned. He ran. Quinn swore once, flat and quiet, and ran after him. The street narrowed into a ribbon of wet cobbles between brick facades. The air smelled of soaked cigarette ends and old frying oil. Herrera moved like someone who’d spent time hauling stretchers up stairwells—fast, economical, no wasted sway. He cut left, then right, using corners like knives. Quinn matched him, coat dragging at her thighs, wet hair clinging close to her scalp. Her worn leather watch on her left wrist slapped damp against bone each time her arm drove forward. The world reduced to breath and footfall and the pale shine of Herrera’s back in the rain. He vaulted a low chain, landed, and shot across the mouth of a side street. A taxi honked—sharp, angry—brakes squealing as he slid past its bonnet. Quinn didn’t have his timing; she had weight and authority. She threw a hand up, palm out, and the cab swerved just enough to spare her. The driver shouted something. The rain ate it. “Herrera!” she called again. “Stop! Metropolitan Police!” He glanced back. Not long enough to see her face, just long enough to show he’d heard. His mouth tightened. He pushed harder. Quinn’s lungs burned. She’d kept herself fit, but London’s nights didn’t care about dedication. The streets became slicker, the angles meaner. Soho bled into Fitzrovia, then into wider roads where buses roared past like dark animals. Herrera didn’t slow at crossings. He threaded between vehicles with a recklessness that wasn’t panic; it was urgency. The difference mattered. At the edge of a park, he ducked into a gap in iron railings where someone had cut away a bar. Quinn followed, mud sucking at her soles. Trees shivered with rain, their leaves turning the streetlamps into green smears. Herrera ran along the path without looking back now. He knew where he was going. Quinn’s mind tugged at files, at whispered informant tips, at the unlabelled fear that sat at the base of her throat whenever a case turned strange. Three years ago, DS Morris had walked into an abandoned building with her, joking about the coffee they’d get after. He’d never walked out. The official report used words like structural collapse and unknown assailant. Quinn still heard his last shout in her sleep—cut off, wrong, like a radio dying. There had been nothing natural in the way the air had changed that night. Nothing she could put in a statement without being laughed out of the job. Now Herrera—former paramedic, struck off for “unauthorized treatments,” always hovering on the edge of the same names she couldn’t connect—was running through the rain like he’d done it a hundred times. He burst out of the park and onto a wider road. Camden, by the look of the signage, though the night made everything feel unfamiliar. The buildings here had a rougher face, graffiti bleeding down shutters, the canals and rail lines threading under the skin of the city. Herrera cut down a stairwell that shouldn’t have been open. A Tube entrance, old and half boarded, the kind of thing developers promised to restore and never did. The sign above it was rusted to illegibility. A chain hung loose on one side as if someone had unhooked it minutes ago. Quinn hit the top step and skidded. Cold water ran down into the darkness. The air that rose from below smelled stale, metallic, and faintly sweet—like rotting fruit under iron. She drew her torch and took the steps two at a time. The stairwell spiralled down, walls sweating. Her beam caught old posters peeling into curls, their faces long out of fashion. Herrera’s footfalls slapped below, echoing off tile. Quinn’s pulse pounded in her ears, steady and hard. At the bottom, the passage opened into an abandoned platform. Tracks lay beyond, black and wet, disappearing into tunnel mouths. The ceiling was low enough that the rain’s sound faded, replaced by distant drips and a low murmur she couldn’t place at first. Not trains. Voices. Herrera ran along the platform edge and stopped at a section of wall covered in faded station maps. He pressed his palm to a seam. For a breath nothing happened. Then the wall shifted with a soft grind, not loud enough to be mechanical, more like stone making room for stone. A gap opened, and warm light spilled out—amber and green, like old gas lamps and sickly neon mixed. Quinn slowed, not because her legs wanted to, but because her instincts grabbed her by the throat. Beyond that gap was movement. Shadows crossing light. The murmur resolved into layered speech, too many dialects, too close together. Something laughed—high, brittle. Something else answered with a sound that might have been a voice or might have been an animal mimicking one. Herrera stepped through the opening. Before he vanished, he turned back. His face was sharp with rain and effort, and for an instant he looked less like a suspect and more like a man running toward something he didn’t want anyone else to see. “Don’t,” he said, voice low but urgent. Quinn’s grip tightened on her torch. “Police,” she shot back. “Stop and identify yourself.” His eyes flicked to her left wrist—her watch, maybe, or the way her hand hovered near her belt out of habit. Then his gaze lifted past her, as if checking the platform behind her for someone else. “You have no idea where you are,” Herrera said. “And you do?” His mouth twitched, not quite a smile. More like a grim acknowledgement of a bad situation. “Yeah.” Then he was gone, swallowed by the light. The wall began to shift again, the gap narrowing. Quinn lunged, boot scraping on wet concrete. She jammed her hand into the opening before it could close. The edge pressed hard against her knuckles—cold stone, unyielding. Pain flashed up her arm. “Bloody—” She shoved, shoulder driving into it, and the seam grudgingly widened enough to let her slip through. The warmth hit her first. Not heat exactly, but a thick, living air that carried incense, oil, damp wool, and something sharper that made the back of her throat prickle. Her torch beam looked ridiculous in here, swallowed by lantern light and strings of bulbs hung between old pillars. She stood on the threshold of a market built into the bones of the abandoned station. Stalls had been hammered together from scavenged wood and sheets of metal. Cloth awnings dripped rainwater in slow, steady taps. People moved in tight currents between tables laid with goods that didn’t belong in any legal shop—bottles that seemed to hold smoke, knives with edges that caught light without reflecting it, jars of dark powder, bundles of herbs tied with hair-thin twine. And the faces— Some were human enough. Some were not, though Quinn’s mind resisted the conclusion, trying to force what she saw into categories it understood. A woman with eyes too pale, like milk glass, leaning over a tray of tiny bones arranged in careful spirals. A man whose smile showed teeth too many, too even. A figure in a hood that moved with a slow, gliding grace, their hands long and delicate as spider legs. Herrera was already pushing into the crowd, head down, moving with the confidence of someone who knew the currents and where they broke. Quinn took one step in. Then another. A shape detached from the nearest stall—a stocky man with a shaved head and a coat too heavy for underground. He blocked her path with a casualness that wasn’t casual at all. “Token,” he said. His accent was London, but the word came out like a rule older than the city. Quinn held up her warrant card. The plastic looked cheap in this light, a child’s toy. “Metropolitan Police. Move.” The man’s gaze flicked over the card and back to her face. His eyes were black as wet stones. “Bone token,” he repeated, unbothered. “No token, no market.” Behind him, the murmur shifted. A subtle change in tone, like a flock of birds turning their heads at once. Quinn became aware of attention sliding onto her from every angle. Measuring. Curious. Hungry. Her hand hovered near her cuffs, then dropped. Arresting the doorman to an illegal market was a clean action in a dirty world. But this wasn’t just illegal. It felt… layered. As if she’d stepped not under London, but under something else that wore London like a coat. She searched the crowd for Herrera. Found him for a second—his dark head, his shoulders—then lost him again behind a hanging curtain of beads that clacked softly as someone passed. Quinn’s pulse steadied, oddly, as fear sharpened into focus. This was the moment, she thought. The point where she could turn around, seal this memory in the same box as Morris’s last shout, and tell herself she’d done the sensible thing. Sensible had not brought Morris back. Sensible had not explained why his blood had looked too dark on the concrete, why the air had smelled like pennies and lilacs, why the CCTV had cut out in a perfect circle around the building. She leaned closer to the doorman, voice low enough that it didn’t carry. “Where do I get one?” His gaze slid to her left wrist again. The watch. The way it sat—worn leather, familiar. For a heartbeat, something like recognition flickered there. Not of her, perhaps, but of the shape of her determination. “Not here,” he said, and nodded past her shoulder. Quinn glanced back. Near the threshold, a narrow table sat half in shadow. A woman stood behind it, face hidden by a veil of thin black fabric. Her hands were bare, pale, and in her palm she rolled something small and white. A token. It wasn’t a coin. It looked like a sliver of bone carved smooth, with a hole drilled through one end as if meant to be worn. The sight of it made Quinn’s stomach tighten. The entry requirement, made literal. She turned back to the doorman. “If I take one, I’m in?” He shrugged, the movement heavy, indifferent. “If they let you keep it.” Quinn didn’t like that answer. She liked it even less because it felt true. She looked again, deeper into the market, trying to catch Herrera’s trail. A glimpse of his Saint Christopher medallion flashed at his throat as he shouldered past a stall where a cage of moths beat their wings against wire, their bodies glowing faintly green. He was moving fast. Toward something. Quinn made her choice before she could talk herself out of it. She stepped around the doorman and walked to the veiled woman’s table. The woman’s head tilted, as if listening to Quinn’s footsteps through the wet on her boots. Quinn laid her warrant card on the table. It felt absurd, but it was what she had. “I need a token.” The veiled woman didn’t touch the card. Her fingers kept rolling the bone sliver, back and forth, back and forth, like worry beads. When she spoke, her voice was soft and dry. “Police don’t buy,” she said. “Police take.” Quinn’s jaw clenched. “I’m not here for a bribe. I’m here for a man.” “A man,” the woman echoed, as if tasting the simplicity of it. “Always a man.” Quinn’s mind flashed Morris again—his grin, his patience, the way he’d called her Quinny when no one else dared. She pushed it down. It wasn’t ammunition. It was a wound. “How much?” Quinn asked, and hated the way the word came out. The veiled woman’s hand paused. Slowly, she set the token on the table between them. Bone, smooth, faintly porous. Real. “Something from you,” the woman said. “Something honest.” Quinn stared at it. Around her, the market breathed. Lantern light trembled with the movement of bodies. Somewhere close, a glass clinked. Somewhere farther, something hissed like steam. She could turn now. She could back out, call it in, bring uniforms, flood the entrance— And watch this place vanish, leaving behind only abandoned tiles and dripping tunnels. Herrera would be gone. Whatever he was running toward would stay buried. Whatever had taken Morris would keep its teeth. Quinn reached up and unfastened her worn leather watch. The strap stuck slightly where rain had soaked it. She set it on the table beside the token. The weight of it leaving her wrist felt wrong, like stepping out without a belt. The veiled woman’s fingers hovered over the watch, not touching at first. Then they settled on the leather with a slow, almost reverent press. “Time,” the woman murmured. “Yes.” She nudged the bone token forward. Quinn picked it up. It was warmer than she expected, as if it had been in someone’s mouth. She closed her hand around it, feeling its smooth edge bite into her palm. The veiled woman leaned closer. Through the black fabric, Quinn could just make out the faint shape of lips. “When you find what you’re chasing,” the woman whispered, “don’t assume it stays found.” Quinn didn’t answer. She slid her warrant card back into her pocket, shoved the bone token into the other, and turned into the crowd. The market swallowed her. Voices brushed her ears—bargains made in murmurs, names spoken like threats. A shoulder bumped hers; a hand trailed too close to her coat pocket. She caught the wrist without looking, twisted just enough to warn. A startled gasp. The hand withdrew. Quinn pushed forward, eyes scanning for Herrera’s dark curls, for the flash of his medallion. Every instinct screamed that she was out of jurisdiction, out of depth, out of the world she understood. She went anyway. Somewhere ahead, a shout rose—sharp, urgent—and the crowd rippled like water struck by a stone. Herrera’s voice cut through, strained. “Move!” Quinn broke into a run again, bone token clenched in her fist like a key she didn’t know how to use, and the Veil Market shifted around her as if it had been waiting to see whether she’d chase the truth all the way into the dark.
created_at"2026-02-17T02:54:18.754997+00:00" 2/17/2026, 2:54:18 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.2-20251211"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency7776
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time87918
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion4243
native_tokens_prompt810
native_tokens_completion3612
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning202
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0519855
router(null)
provider_responses
0
id"resp_0fdeeea3e17ffe73016993d802973c8193bd79727c2ba123bf"
status200
is_byokfalse
latency234
endpoint_id"f00142c2-6a93-49ce-9e36-5593b904ce3b"
provider_name"OpenAI"
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.2-20251211"
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771296770-9gk2tlR3BT0iqU1IFSNT"
upstream_id"resp_0fdeeea3e17ffe73016993d802973c8193bd79727c2ba123bf"
total_cost0.0519855
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags16
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"she called again [again]"
dialogueSentences32
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio0.063
effectiveRatio0.063
94.35% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2653
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"softly"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
highlights
0"softly"
1"slowly"
2"slightly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
56.65% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2653
totalAiIsms23
found
0
word"flickered"
count2
1
word"pulse"
count3
2
word"familiar"
count2
3
word"footfall"
count1
4
word"weight"
count2
5
word"echoing"
count1
6
word"mechanical"
count1
7
word"resolved"
count1
8
word"flicked"
count2
9
word"warmth"
count1
10
word"perfect"
count1
11
word"stomach"
count1
12
word"footsteps"
count1
13
word"jaw clenched"
count1
14
word"echoed"
count1
15
word"trembled"
count1
16
word"scanning"
count1
highlights
0"flickered"
1"pulse"
2"familiar"
3"footfall"
4"weight"
5"echoing"
6"mechanical"
7"resolved"
8"flicked"
9"warmth"
10"perfect"
11"stomach"
12"footsteps"
13"jaw clenched"
14"echoed"
15"trembled"
16"scanning"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"jaw/fists clenched"
count1
highlights
0"jaw clenched"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences243
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences243
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"began to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences259
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen47
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2630
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions16
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions74
wordCount2530
uniqueNames15
maxNameDensity1.46
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Detective1
Harlow1
Quinn37
Raven1
Nest1
Herrera17
London4
Fitzrovia1
Morris5
Tube1
Saint1
Christopher1
Quinny1
Veil1
Market1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Nest"
3"Herrera"
4"Morris"
5"Saint"
6"Christopher"
7"Market"
places
0"Raven"
1"London"
2"Fitzrovia"
globalScore0.769
windowScore0.5
17.65% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences170
glossingSentenceCount9
matches
0"as if listening to the rain"
1"as if checking the platform behind her for someone else"
2"not quite a smile"
3"bottles that seemed to hold smoke, knives with edges that caught light without reflecting it, jars of dark powder, bundles of herbs tied with hair-thin twine"
4"smelled like pennies and lilacs, why the C"
5"something like recognition flickered there"
6"looked like a sliver of bone carved smoot"
7"as if listening to Quinn’s footsteps through the wet on her boots"
8"as if tasting the simplicity of it"
85.93% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.141
wordCount2630
matches
0"Not heat exactly, but a thick, living air"
1"not under London, but under something else"
2"Not of her, perhaps, but of the shape of her determination"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences259
matches
0"changed that night"
1"screamed that she"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs99
mean26.57
std19.34
cv0.728
sampleLengths
049
154
280
32
415
526
68
750
82
910
1047
1150
1260
137
1423
1557
1655
1726
1878
1931
2048
2151
2230
2312
2436
2543
263
2769
2817
2943
305
3139
327
3314
3437
359
363
3717
388
399
4032
4118
4249
4378
443
4573
4623
477
4832
493
98.04% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences243
matches
0"being laughed"
1"been open"
2"was rusted"
3"was gone"
4"been hammered"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs475
matches
0"was going"
1"was running"
2"was already pushing"
3"was running"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount27
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences24
totalSentences259
ratio0.093
matches
0"Soho at midnight had a way of pretending it was still bright—shopfronts lit for no one, taxi headlights smearing through wet air—but the alley beside The Raven’s Nest stayed stubbornly dark."
1"Around his neck something caught green—metal, round—before it vanished under his shirt."
2"He flinched—an instant too late to play innocent."
3"Herrera moved like someone who’d spent time hauling stretchers up stairwells—fast, economical, no wasted sway."
4"A taxi honked—sharp, angry—brakes squealing as he slid past its bonnet."
5"Quinn didn’t have his timing; she had weight and authority."
6"He threaded between vehicles with a recklessness that wasn’t panic; it was urgency."
7"Quinn still heard his last shout in her sleep—cut off, wrong, like a radio dying."
8"Now Herrera—former paramedic, struck off for “unauthorized treatments,” always hovering on the edge of the same names she couldn’t connect—was running through the rain like he’d done it a hundred times."
9"The air that rose from below smelled stale, metallic, and faintly sweet—like rotting fruit under iron."
10"A gap opened, and warm light spilled out—amber and green, like old gas lamps and sickly neon mixed."
11"Something laughed—high, brittle."
12"His eyes flicked to her left wrist—her watch, maybe, or the way her hand hovered near her belt out of habit."
13"The edge pressed hard against her knuckles—cold stone, unyielding."
14"People moved in tight currents between tables laid with goods that didn’t belong in any legal shop—bottles that seemed to hold smoke, knives with edges that caught light without reflecting it, jars of dark powder, bundles of herbs tied with hair-thin twine."
15"And the faces—"
16"A shape detached from the nearest stall—a stocky man with a shaved head and a coat too heavy for underground."
17"Found him for a second—his dark head, his shoulders—then lost him again behind a hanging curtain of beads that clacked softly as someone passed."
18"The way it sat—worn leather, familiar."
19"Quinn’s mind flashed Morris again—his grin, his patience, the way he’d called her Quinny when no one else dared."
20"She could back out, call it in, bring uniforms, flood the entrance—"
21"Voices brushed her ears—bargains made in murmurs, names spoken like threats."
22"A shoulder bumped hers; a hand trailed too close to her coat pocket."
23"Somewhere ahead, a shout rose—sharp, urgent—and the crowd rippled like water struck by a stone."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2554
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"Short, curly dark hair"
adverbCount85
adverbRatio0.03328112764291308
lyAdverbCount13
lyAdverbRatio0.005090054815974941
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences259
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences259
mean10.15
std7.32
cv0.721
sampleLengths
018
131
216
319
49
510
615
78
87
918
1014
116
1212
132
149
152
162
172
1811
1911
204
218
228
2321
2418
253
262
2710
2812
2911
3015
319
3215
3318
3417
3515
3611
3710
3816
394
404
414
423
433
4414
453
463
473
4811
497
42.73% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats21
diversityRatio0.305019305019305
totalSentences259
uniqueOpeners79
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount10
totalSentences223
matches
0"Then he turned."
1"Then the wall shifted with"
2"Then his gaze lifted past"
3"More like a grim acknowledgement"
4"Then he was gone, swallowed"
5"Slowly, she set the token"
6"Somewhere close, a glass clinked."
7"Somewhere farther, something hissed like"
8"Then they settled on the"
9"Somewhere ahead, a shout rose—sharp,"
ratio0.045
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount65
totalSentences223
matches
0"It was what kept her"
1"He kept his face angled"
2"She pushed off the wall"
3"She didn’t break stride."
4"Her voice snapped clean through"
5"He flinched—an instant too late"
6"His head came up and"
7"His right hand went to"
8"He cut left, then right,"
9"Her worn leather watch on"
10"He vaulted a low chain,"
11"She threw a hand up,"
12"she called again"
13"He glanced back."
14"His mouth tightened."
15"He pushed harder."
16"She’d kept herself fit, but"
17"He threaded between vehicles with"
18"He knew where he was"
19"He’d never walked out."
ratio0.291
45.20% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount185
totalSentences223
matches
0"Rain needled the back of"
1"Soho at midnight had a"
2"The bar’s distinctive green neon"
3"Quinn watched it from across"
4"Military precision had never been"
5"It was what kept her"
6"A man stepped out under"
7"Olive skin turned slick under"
8"He kept his face angled"
9"The left arm hung a"
10"A scar along the forearm,"
11"Quinn felt a familiar, sour"
12"She pushed off the wall"
13"A car hissed past, tyres"
14"She didn’t break stride."
15"Her voice snapped clean through"
16"He flinched—an instant too late"
17"His head came up and"
18"His right hand went to"
19"Quinn swore once, flat and"
ratio0.83
67.26% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences223
matches
0"Now Herrera—former paramedic, struck off"
1"Before he vanished, he turned"
2"As if she’d stepped not"
ratio0.013
84.94% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences111
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"The left arm hung a fraction stiff, as if he still remembered old damage."
1"His right hand went to his chest, the reflexive protective press of someone who kept something valuable there."
2"Herrera moved like someone who’d spent time hauling stretchers up stairwells—fast, economical, no wasted sway."
3"Quinn’s mind tugged at files, at whispered informant tips, at the unlabelled fear that sat at the base of her throat whenever a case turned strange."
4"Then his gaze lifted past her, as if checking the platform behind her for someone else."
5"Not heat exactly, but a thick, living air that carried incense, oil, damp wool, and something sharper that made the back of her throat prickle."
6"People moved in tight currents between tables laid with goods that didn’t belong in any legal shop—bottles that seemed to hold smoke, knives with edges that cau…"
7"Found him for a second—his dark head, his shoulders—then lost him again behind a hanging curtain of beads that clacked softly as someone passed."
8"The woman’s head tilted, as if listening to Quinn’s footsteps through the wet on her boots."
62.50% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags16
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"he said, voice low but urgent"
1"the woman echoed, as if tasting the simplicity of it"
25.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags12
fancyCount4
fancyTags
0"Her voice snapped (snap)"
1"he repeated (repeat)"
2"the woman murmured (murmur)"
3"the woman whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences32
tagDensity0.375
leniency0.75
rawRatio0.333
effectiveRatio0.25
80.8086%