NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-19-01KHT015MZSYW9MPCAF6KKYSQ9
Run Details
Model:
Mistral NeMO
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:
14.3s
Cost:
$0.001130
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
62.04%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
0.00%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
66.67%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
91.10%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
58.63%
Name drop frequency
(details)
68.03%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
92.82%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
97.64%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
42.99%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
73.53%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
11.18%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
7.79%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
36.76%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Technical jargon density
(details)
0.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
73.4393%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Fantasy genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Rory's breath hitched as she
stepped through the shimmering veil, the boundary between Earth and the realm of Hel.
The air here was thick
with the scent of ripe fruit and damp earth, a
stark
contrast to the crisp autumn
chill
of London.
She squinted, her bright blue
eyes adjusting to the warm amber glow of the alien sky. Dymas, the land of Gluttony, was a place of excess and indulgence, and it wore its sin like a gaudy crown.
Nyx, the living shadow at
her side, shifted into a more solid form.
Their faintly glowing violet eyes
scanned
the sprawling vineyards that stretched out before them. "We should stick to the edges,"
they murmured, voice like a
whisper
carried on the wind. "Less likely to be noticed."
Rory nodded, her straight shoulder-length
black hair swaying
slightly
.
She clutched the Heartstone Pendant
at her throat, feeling its faint
pulse
of
warmth
.
It was her only guide
in this strange land, given to her by an unknown benefactor.
She glanced at the Fae-Forged
Blade tucked into her belt, a gift from Isolde, the Seer.
It glowed faintly in the
odd light, a cold comfort in this alien world.
They walked in silence, their
footsteps
muffled by the soft grass.
Rory marveled at the size
of the grapes hanging heavy on the vines, each one the size of her fist.
She reached out to touch
one, her fingers brushing against its smooth, glossy skin.
It was warm to the
touch, pulsing with an
otherworldly
energy. Suddenly, Nyx grabbed her wrist, their fingers wrapping around the crescent-shaped scar there. "Careful,"
they hissed, pulling her back
. "They're not meant for mortal hands." Rory yanked her hand back, her heart
pounding
. "What do you mean?"
Nyx released her wrist, their
form
wavering
slightly
. "These grapes... they're not just food. They're power. And power here is a dangerous thing." Before Rory could press further, a distant rumble
echoed
through the vineyards.
The ground trembled slightly, and
in the distance, a grand mansion came into view. It was a monstrous thing, all spires and turrets, carved from a
stone that seemed to absorb the light rather than reflect it
. "Belphegor's palace,"
Nyx said, their voice barely audible
. "Prince of Gluttony. We should avoid it." Rory nodded, but her eyes
were drawn
to the mansion.
She could see figures moving
within, their laughter
echoing
through the open windows.
She could smell the rich
aroma of food,
hear
the clink of glasses. It was a siren's call, a promise of
warmth
and comfort in this strange, cold place. Nyx noticed her distraction and followed her gaze. "Rory,"
they warned, their voice stern
. "We're not here for the feasting. We're here for the information." Rory tore her eyes away from the mansion, her
resolve
hardening.
She was here for a
reason, and it wasn't to indulge in the excesses of this place.
She was here to find
out who had sent her the Heartstone, and why.
They skirted the edge of
the vineyards, keeping a safe distance from the mansion. As they moved deeper into Dymas, the landscape
began to
change. The vineyards gave way to orchards, the trees laden with exotic fruits Rory had never seen before.
She reached out to touch
one, a small, spiky thing that glowed like a lantern, but Nyx's hand on her wrist stopped her. "Don't," they warned. "Not everything here is as it seems." Rory withdrew her hand, a shiver running
down her spine
. She
could feel
it now, the unease that had been gnawing at her since they'd entered Dymas.
It was as if the very air was alive, watching, waiting
. They continued on, the
silence
broken only by the rustle of leaves and the distant hum of unseen creatures. Rory's
stomach
growled, the rich scents of the orchards making her mouth water. She hadn't eaten since leaving London, and the journey through the Veil had taken more out of her than she'd expected. Nyx heard her
stomach
rumble and turned to her, their form solidifying
slightly
. "We should find food,"
they said, their voice softening
. "But not here. Not like this." Rory nodded, her eyes
scanning
the orchards. She spotted a small, abandoned-looking shack nestled among the trees. It was rundown, the door hanging crookedly on its hinges, but it was a place to start. They approached the shack
cautiously
, Rory's hand resting on the hilt of the Fae blade. Nyx slipped through the door first, their shadowy form melting into the darkness within. Rory followed, her heart
pounding
in her chest. The shack was empty, save for a small table and two chairs. A dusty bottle of wine sat on the table, a cobweb-covered glass beside it. Rory picked up the bottle, examining it. It
was caked
with dust, the label faded and illegible. She uncorked it, sniffing the contents. It smelled sweet, almost cloyingly so, but there was an underlying bitterness that made her pause. "Don't,"
Nyx warned, their form materializing beside her
. "We don't know what it is. What it does." Rory hesitated, then set the bottle down. She wasn't here to indulge, after all.
She was here to find
answers. They searched the shack, finding nothing but more dust and cobwebs. Rory sat down at the table, her mind
racing
. She was here, in Dymas, the land of Gluttony.
She was here to find
out about the Heartstone, about the person who had sent it to her. But she was also here because of the dreams, the visions that had plagued her since she'd first touched the pendant. Visions of feasting, of indulgence, of a hunger that could never be satisfied. Nyx noticed her distraction and sat down across from her, their form solidifying until they looked almost human. "What are you thinking about, Rory?"
they asked, their voice gentle
. Rory looked up, her eyes meeting Nyx's glowing violet ones. "I'm thinking about why I'm here,"
she said, her voice barely above a whisper
. "I'm thinking about the dreams. About the hunger." Nyx leaned back in their chair, their form
wavering
slightly
. "Dreams are a tricky thing, Rory,"
they said, their voice thoughtful
. "They can show us what we want, what we need. But they can also show us what we fear." Rory nodded, her fingers
tracing
the edge of the table. "I know," she said. "But I can't help feeling like there's more to it. Like there's something I'm missing." Nyx reached out, their hand covering hers. Their skin was cool to the touch, like the first rays of dawn. "You're here for a reason, Rory,"
they said, their voice steady
. "And you'll find that reason. But for now, we need to focus on the task at hand. We need to find out about the Heartstone. About who sent it to you." Rory took a deep breath, her
resolve
hardening. Nyx was right.
She was here for a
reason, and she wouldn't let her fears or her dreams distract her from that. She stood up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "You're right,"
she said, her voice firm
. "Let's go." They left the shack, stepping back into the warm glow of Dymas. Rory's
stomach
growled again, but she ignored it, her mind focused on the task at hand. They walked deeper into the orchards, the trees growing denser around them.
The air was thick with
the scent of ripe fruit, the hum of unseen creatures growing louder.
Suddenly, Nyx stopped, their form
solidifying
completely
. "Do you
hear
that?"
they asked, their voice barely audible
. Rory listened, her heart
pounding
in her chest. She could
hear
it now, the faint sound of music, of laughter. It
was coming
from deeper in the orchards, a
sound that seemed to beckon them forward
. Nyx looked at her, their eyes glowing in the dim light. "We should go,"
they said, their voice firm
. "We should find out where that sound is coming from." Rory nodded, her hand resting on the hilt of the Fae blade. She
could feel
it now, the unease that had been gnawing at her since they'd entered Dymas.
It was as if the very air was alive, watching, waiting
. But she was here for a reason, and she wouldn't let her fears stop her. They followed the sound, the trees growing denser around them. The music grew louder, the laughter more raucous. They came to a clearing, a grand feast laid out before them. A long table groaned under the
weight
of the food, the air thick with the scent of roasted meats and sweet pastries. Helbound souls, their forms twisted and warped by their sin, moved among the feasters, serving and pouring. Rory and Nyx watched from the shadows, their eyes
scanning
the crowd. They
were looking
for someone, someone who knew about the Heartstone. Someone who could tell them why it had
been sent
to Rory.
Suddenly, a figure caught Rory's
eye. He was tall, his form lean and muscular. His eyes were a deep, burning red, and his skin
seemed to
shimmer in the dim light. He
was laughing
, his head thrown back, a glass of wine in his hand. But there was something about him, something that made Rory's heart
race
. "Who is he?" she whispered to Nyx, her voice barely audible. Nyx followed her gaze, their form
wavering
slightly
. "I don't know,"
they said, their voice thoughtful
. "But I think we should find out." Rory nodded, her mind made up. She stepped out of the shadows, her eyes fixed on the man. She
could feel
the unease, the fear, but she pushed it aside.
She was here for a
reason, and she wouldn't let her fears stop her. The man noticed her, his laughter dying in his throat. He watched her approach, his eyes never leaving hers. As she reached the table, he stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Welcome, traveler,"
he said, his voice deep and resonant
. "I am Belphegor, Prince of Gluttony. And you are...?" Rory hesitated, then spoke. "I am Aurora Carter,"
she said, her voice steady
. "And I'm here to find out about the Heartstone." Belphegor's
eyes widened
, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Ah,"
he said, his voice soft
. "The Heartstone. I've been expecting you, Aurora Carter." Rory's heart
raced
, her mind spinning. She had found her answer, but she had also found something else. Something she hadn't been expecting. Something that made her blood run cold. She was in Dymas, the land of Gluttony.
She was here to find
out about the Heartstone, about the person who had sent it to her. But she was also here because of the dreams, the visions that had plagued her since she'd first touched the pendant. Visions of feasting, of indulgence, of a hunger that could never be satisfied. And now, she was face to face with the source of that hunger. She was face to face with the Prince of Gluttony. And she had no idea what he wanted with her.
total_cost
0.0011304000000000002
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
20
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
39
tagDensity
0.513
leniency
1
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
62.04%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
1844
totalAiIsmAdverbs
14
found
0
adverb
"slightly"
count
6
1
adverb
"suddenly"
count
3
2
adverb
"very"
count
2
3
adverb
"cautiously"
count
1
4
adverb
"barely above a whisper"
count
1
5
adverb
"completely"
count
1
highlights
0
"slightly"
1
"suddenly"
2
"very"
3
"cautiously"
4
"barely above a whisper"
5
"completely"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
0.00%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
1844
totalAiIsms
38
found
0
word
"stark"
count
1
1
word
"chill"
count
1
2
word
"scanned"
count
1
3
word
"whisper"
count
2
4
word
"pulse"
count
1
5
word
"warmth"
count
2
6
word
"silence"
count
2
7
word
"footsteps"
count
1
8
word
"marveled"
count
1
9
word
"otherworldly"
count
1
10
word
"pounding"
count
3
11
word
"wavering"
count
3
12
word
"echoed"
count
1
13
word
"trembled"
count
1
14
word
"echoing"
count
1
15
word
"resolve"
count
2
16
word
"down her spine"
count
1
17
word
"could feel"
count
3
18
word
"stomach"
count
3
19
word
"scanning"
count
2
20
word
"racing"
count
1
21
word
"tracing"
count
1
22
word
"weight"
count
1
23
word
"race"
count
1
24
word
"raced"
count
1
highlights
0
"stark"
1
"chill"
2
"scanned"
3
"whisper"
4
"pulse"
5
"warmth"
6
"silence"
7
"footsteps"
8
"marveled"
9
"otherworldly"
10
"pounding"
11
"wavering"
12
"echoed"
13
"trembled"
14
"echoing"
15
"resolve"
16
"down her spine"
17
"could feel"
18
"stomach"
19
"scanning"
20
"racing"
21
"tracing"
22
"weight"
23
"race"
24
"raced"
66.67%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
2
maxInWindow
2
found
0
label
"eyes widened/narrowed"
count
1
1
label
"air was thick with"
count
1
highlights
0
"eyes widened"
1
"The air was thick with"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
138
matches
(empty)
91.10%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
1
hedgeCount
4
narrationSentences
138
filterMatches
0
"hear"
hedgeMatches
0
"seemed to"
1
"began to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
157
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
31
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
1839
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
22
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
58.63%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
82
wordCount
1587
uniqueNames
18
maxNameDensity
1.83
worstName
"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity
3
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Earth
1
Hel
1
London
2
Gluttony
4
Rory
29
Heartstone
5
Pendant
1
Fae-Forged
1
Blade
1
Isolde
1
Seer
1
Nyx
19
Dymas
7
Veil
1
Fae
3
Belphegor
1
Prince
1
Suddenly
3
persons
0
"Rory"
1
"Blade"
2
"Nyx"
3
"Belphegor"
places
0
"London"
1
"Fae-Forged"
2
"Isolde"
3
"Dymas"
4
"Fae"
globalScore
0.586
windowScore
0.667
68.03%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
122
glossingSentenceCount
4
matches
0
"stone that seemed to absorb the light rather than reflect it"
1
"It was as if the very air was alive, watching, waiting"
2
"sound that seemed to beckon them forward"
3
"It was as if the very air was alive, watching, waiting"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
0
per1kWords
0
wordCount
1839
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
157
matches
(empty)
92.82%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
47
mean
39.13
std
18.58
cv
0.475
sampleLengths
0
80
1
48
2
69
3
56
4
25
5
12
6
23
7
49
8
15
9
52
10
25
11
42
12
65
13
10
14
38
15
53
16
28
17
34
18
37
19
65
20
17
21
20
22
81
23
29
24
32
25
40
26
29
27
62
28
49
29
57
30
17
31
36
32
29
33
55
34
69
35
35
36
57
37
11
38
23
39
44
40
34
41
18
42
22
43
24
44
30
45
60
46
33
97.64%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
3
totalSentences
138
matches
0
"were drawn"
1
"was caked"
2
"been sent"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
3
totalVerbs
285
matches
0
"was coming"
1
"were looking"
2
"was laughing"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
157
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
1592
adjectiveStacks
1
stackExamples
0
"small, abandoned-looking shack"
adverbCount
46
adverbRatio
0.028894472361809045
lyAdverbCount
24
lyAdverbRatio
0.01507537688442211
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
157
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
157
mean
11.71
std
4.76
cv
0.407
sampleLengths
0
19
1
24
2
16
3
21
4
13
5
14
6
16
7
5
8
9
9
14
10
16
11
16
12
14
13
11
14
20
15
14
16
11
17
13
18
6
19
6
20
8
21
4
22
8
23
15
24
12
25
14
26
23
27
8
28
7
29
10
30
13
31
13
32
16
33
8
34
6
35
11
36
11
37
17
38
14
39
14
40
11
41
17
42
23
43
3
44
7
45
10
46
17
47
11
48
19
49
13
42.99%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
11
diversityRatio
0.2356687898089172
totalSentences
157
uniqueOpeners
37
73.53%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
3
totalSentences
136
matches
0
"Suddenly, Nyx grabbed her wrist,"
1
"Suddenly, Nyx stopped, their form"
2
"Suddenly, a figure caught Rory's"
ratio
0.022
11.18%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
71
totalSentences
136
matches
0
"She squinted, her bright blue"
1
"Their faintly glowing violet eyes"
2
"they murmured, voice like a"
3
"She clutched the Heartstone Pendant"
4
"It was her only guide"
5
"She glanced at the Fae-Forged"
6
"It glowed faintly in the"
7
"They walked in silence, their"
8
"She reached out to touch"
9
"It was warm to the"
10
"they hissed, pulling her back"
11
"It was a monstrous thing,"
12
"She could see figures moving"
13
"She could smell the rich"
14
"It was a siren's call,"
15
"they warned, their voice stern"
16
"She was here for a"
17
"She was here to find"
18
"They skirted the edge of"
19
"She reached out to touch"
ratio
0.522
7.79%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
123
totalSentences
136
matches
0
"Rory's breath hitched as she"
1
"The air here was thick"
2
"She squinted, her bright blue"
3
"Dymas, the land of Gluttony,"
4
"Nyx, the living shadow at"
5
"Their faintly glowing violet eyes"
6
"they murmured, voice like a"
7
"Rory nodded, her straight shoulder-length"
8
"She clutched the Heartstone Pendant"
9
"It was her only guide"
10
"She glanced at the Fae-Forged"
11
"It glowed faintly in the"
12
"They walked in silence, their"
13
"Rory marveled at the size"
14
"She reached out to touch"
15
"It was warm to the"
16
"they hissed, pulling her back"
17
"Rory yanked her hand back,"
18
"Nyx released her wrist, their"
19
"The ground trembled slightly, and"
ratio
0.904
36.76%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
1
totalSentences
136
matches
0
"Before Rory could press further,"
ratio
0.007
100.00%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
90
technicalSentenceCount
3
matches
0
"She could see figures moving within, their laughter echoing through the open windows."
1
"It smelled sweet, almost cloyingly so, but there was an underlying bitterness that made her pause."
2
"But there was something about him, something that made Rory's heart race."
0.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
20
uselessAdditionCount
16
matches
0
"Nyx said, their voice barely audible"
1
"they warned, their voice stern"
2
"they said, their voice softening"
3
"Nyx warned, their form materializing beside her"
4
"they asked, their voice gentle"
5
"she said, her voice barely above a whisper"
6
"they said, their voice thoughtful"
7
"they said, their voice steady"
8
"she said, her voice firm"
9
"they asked, their voice barely audible"
10
"they said, their voice firm"
11
"she whispered, her voice barely audible"
12
"they said, their voice thoughtful"
13
"he said, his voice deep and resonant"
14
"she said, her voice steady"
15
"he said, his voice soft"
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
20
fancyCount
6
fancyTags
0
"they murmured (murmur)"
1
"they hissed (hiss)"
2
"they warned (warn)"
3
"they warned (warn)"
4
"Nyx warned (warn)"
5
"she whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences
39
tagDensity
0.513
leniency
1
rawRatio
0.3
effectiveRatio
0.3
73.4393%