NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-19-01KHTQY5DXY5XPGBWZ4V06Y32A
Run Details
Model:
Mistral Large
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:
1m 1s
Cost:
$0.027276
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
89.47%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
21.05%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
50.00%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
0.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
97.28%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
39.58%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
72.07%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
0.54%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
27.03%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
83.33%
Technical jargon density
(details)
0.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
76.0122%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Fantasy genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
The pendant burned against Aurora’s
collarbone before she even saw the door.
She froze mid-step on the
cracked pavement of the alley behind Silas’ bar, one hand still clutching the takeaway bag from Golden Empress. The Heartstone Pendant
pulsed
once, twice—a deep,
rhythmic
throb
like a second heartbeat.
The crimson gem glowed faintly
through her shirt, casting a bloody hue on her fingers. "Rory?"
Nyx’s voice slithered from the
shadows beside her, their violet eyes flickering like dying embers. "You’re leaking light." She didn’t answer.
The alley stretched ahead, ordinary
and grimy, but the air at its end
shimmered
.
A distortion, like heat rising
from pavement, but colder. Sharper. The Veil, thinning.
Nyx stepped forward, their shadowy
form rippling as they
moved
. "Ah. A tear. How... convenient."
Aurora’s pulse hammered in her
throat.
She’d felt the pendant’s warmth
before—brief flares in the Underground, near abandoned churches—but never like this. Never *
insistent
*.
She adjusted her grip on
the takeaway bag, the scent of ginger and soy sauce
suddenly
cloying. "We’re not going in there."
Nyx tilted their head, a
gesture that looked almost human. "Aren’t we?" The distortion
pulsed
again.
A door appeared where none
had been before—a slab of dark wood, warped and ancient, set into the brick wall as if it had always been there. No handle. No hinges.
Just a seam of light
where the door met the frame, amber and warm, like sunlight through honey. Aurora’s breath hitched. Dymas.
She didn’t need the pendant
to tell her that.
Nyx extended a hand, their
fingers solidifying just enough to brush the wood.
The door groaned, not like
old hinges, but like something *
alive
*, something waking. The amber light spilled onto the pavement, pooling at their feet. "After you," Nyx murmured. Aurora hesitated. The last time she’d stepped through a door without knowing where it led, she’d ended up in Eva’s flat with a black eye and a restraining order. But the pendant’s heat was relentless now,
searing
through her shirt. A warning. Or an invitation. She stepped forward. The moment her boot crossed the threshold, the alley vanished. The air hit her first—thick, sweet, like overripe fruit and warm bread. She gagged, her
stomach
lurching
. The scent was *
too much
*, cloying and rich, coating her tongue, her throat.
She swallowed hard, tasting honey
and something metallic beneath it. Then the sounds. A
symphony
of indulgence. The clink of
crystal
, the murmur of voices, the wet sounds of chewing, of lips smacking, of throats swallowing. Laughter, too—deep, booming, guttural. The kind of laughter that came from bellies too full, from throats slick with wine. Aurora’s eyes adjusted
slowly
.
They stood at the edge
of a vast courtyard, bathed in that same amber light, but brighter here, richer. The sky above wasn’t sky at all—it was a dome of swirling gold, like a sunset trapped in glass. No stars. No moon. Just an endless, warm glow. And the *
food
*. Tables stretched before her, long and low, hewn from dark wood and laden with dishes. Platters of meat—some roasted, some raw, some still *
twitching
*. Bowls of fruit,
glistening
and overripe, their skins split to reveal pulp that dripped like syrup. Towers of pastries, their crusts flaking, their fillings oozing. Wine goblets, some as tall as her forearm, filled to the brim with liquids that
shimmered
—ruby, amber, inky black. The people—if they were people—sat or sprawled among the tables. Some were human-shaped, but their proportions were *
wrong
*.
Too tall, too wide, their
limbs stretching like taffy. Others were barely human at all—faces split into too many grins, fingers too long, too many of them, wriggling like worms. They ate. They *
feasted
*. Hands plunged into dishes, mouths stretched wide, teeth tearing, lips smacking. A woman with three arms lifted a whole roasted boar to her
mouth
and bit down. Juices ran down her chin, her neck, her chest. Aurora’s
stomach
heaved. Nyx stepped beside her, their form solidifying in the amber light. "Welcome to Dymas,"
they murmured, their voice a
whisper
on the wind. "Gluttony’s finest." A man—no, not a man, his skin too smooth, his eyes too large—turned his head toward them.
His mouth was full, his
cheeks bulging.
He swallowed with a wet
*
gulp
*, then grinned, his teeth stained red. "New arrivals!"
he called, his voice a
wet
gurgle
. "Fresh meat!" The others at his table turned. Dozens of eyes, some human, some not, locked onto them. A woman with a
mouth
too wide licked her lips. A child—if it was a child—with fingers like sausages clapped its hands. "Play with us!" it squealed. Aurora’s hand flew to her waist, where the Fae-forged blade hung, hidden beneath her jacket. The metal was cold, reassuring. "We’re not here to eat." The man with the red-stained teeth laughed, a sound like a drain unclogging. "Everyone eats in Dymas."
He patted the bench beside
him. "Sit. Feast. There’s always room for more." Nyx’s shadow
rippled
, their form stretching tall. "We’re not staying." The man’s grin didn’t waver. "Oh, but you will."
He snapped his fingers
. The tables groaned. Aurora’s blood turned to ice as the wood beneath the dishes *
moved
*. The benches twisted, the legs elongating, the surfaces warping. The
food
*
shifted
*, rearranging itself, forming a path—a corridor of indulgence, leading deeper into the courtyard. Toward a dais at the far end. A throne sat there, carved from what looked like bone, its surface polished smooth. And upon it lounged a figure, massive and bloated, his skin stretched tight over a belly that spilled over the throne’s edges. His fingers, thick as sausages, drummed against the armrests. His face was a moon, round and pale, his lips wet and red. Prince Belphegor. Aurora had read about him. Heard the stories. The ruler of Dymas. The patron of excess. The one who *
fed
* on hunger.
His eyes—small, black, gleaming—locked onto
them. "Ah,"
he rumbled, his voice like
distant thunder. "Guests." The path of tables led straight to him. The feasting figures watched, their grins widening, their hands
twitching
toward the dishes. Nyx’s shadow coiled around Aurora’s wrist, a cold, tight grip. "We walk," they whispered. "We don’t eat. We don’t drink. And we *
do not
* look back." Aurora nodded, her throat dry. They stepped forward. The first table held a platter of fruit—peaches, their skins split, their insides
glistening
. The scent was overwhelming, sweet and cloying. Aurora’s
stomach
growled, traitorous. She ignored it, her boots sticking
slightly
to the floor. Something had spilled here. Something thick. The next table
was piled
with pastries, their crusts golden, their fillings bubbling. One of the feasting figures—a woman with hair like spun sugar—reached out, her fingers brushing Aurora’s sleeve. "Try the tarts,"
she murmured, her voice a purr
. "Fresh from the oven. Still screaming." Aurora jerked away, her skin crawling. Nyx’s grip tightened. "Eyes forward." The dais
loomed
closer. Belphegor watched them, his lips curling into a smile. His teeth were small, white, *
sharp
*. "Mortals," he rumbled. "So rare in my court. Tell me, what brings you to Dymas?" Aurora’s mind
raced
. The pendant burned against her chest, a constant,
insistent
heat. It had led her here. But why? "We’re passing through,"
she said, her voice steadier than she felt
. Belphegor chuckled, a wet, guttural sound. "Passing through? No one *
passes through
* Dymas. They stay. They *
feast
*." He leaned forward, his belly pressing against the edge of the throne. "Tell me, little mortal, what do you hunger for?" Aurora’s fingers twitched toward the blade. "Nothing." The prince’s eyes gleamed. "Liar."
He snapped his fingers
. The tables groaned again. The dishes *
shifted
*, rearranging themselves, forming a circle around them. The feasting figures rose, their grins widening, their hands reaching. Nyx’s shadow lashed out, wrapping around Aurora’s waist, yanking her back. "Run." They turned. The path behind them
was gone
. The tables had
shifted
, sealing them in. The feasting figures closed in, their hands outstretched, their mouths open, their eyes hungry. Belphegor’s laughter
echoed
through the courtyard. "You cannot leave until you’ve *
tasted
*." Aurora’s hand closed around the Fae blade’s hilt. The metal was ice in her grip. She drew it, the blade humming as it caught the amber light. The nearest figure—a man with a face like melted wax—lunged. Aurora slashed. The blade bit deep. The man
screamed
, his form *
rippled
*, his skin bubbling like hot tar. He collapsed, his body dissolving into a puddle of black sludge. The others hesitated. Belphegor’s laughter boomed. "Oh, she’s *
feisty
*." He clapped his hands. "Very well. If you won’t
feast
with us..." His grin widened. "*We’ll
feast
on you.*" The figures surged forward. Nyx’s shadow exploded outward, a whirlwind of darkness. It slammed into the nearest attackers, sending them sprawling. "Go!" they hissed. Aurora didn’t need to be told twice. She lunged for the nearest table, vaulting over a platter of roasted meat. The figures behind her snarled, their hands grasping at her legs. She kicked out, her boot connecting with a face. Bone crunched. The dais was close. Belphegor watched, amused, his fingers drumming against the throne. Aurora skidded to a halt at the base of the steps. The throne
loomed
above her, a monstrosity of bone and hunger. The pendant burned. She reached up, tearing it from her neck. The chain snapped. The gem
pulsed
in her palm, hot as a coal. Belphegor’s eyes locked onto it. "Ah," he murmured. "A Heartstone." Aurora didn’t hesitate. She hurled the pendant at the throne. It struck the bone with a *
crack
*. The throne *
screamed
*. Belphegor roared, his body convulsing, his skin splitting. Black sludge oozed from the cracks, his form
unraveling
like rotten fabric. The courtyard
trembled
. The tables groaned, the dishes rattling. The feasting figures wailed, their forms dissolving into smoke. Nyx’s shadow coiled around Aurora, yanking her back. "Time to go." They turned— —and the door was there. The same dark wood, the same amber light spilling from the seams. Aurora didn’t look back. She ran. The moment they crossed the threshold, the door vanished. They stood in the alley again, the stench of garbage and rain replacing the cloying sweetness of Dymas. Aurora’s legs gave out. She collapsed against the brick wall, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Nyx solidified beside her, their form flickering. "Well," they murmured. "That was *
unexpected
*." Aurora’s hands
trembled
. She looked down at her palm. The pendant’s chain
was gone
, but the gem’s imprint remained—a faint, crimson burn. She flexed her fingers. The Fae blade was still in her grip, its edge dark with something that wasn’t blood. Nyx crouched beside her, their violet eyes
gleaming
. "You just destroyed a Prince of Hel’s throne with a *
necklace
*." Aurora swallowed. "It wasn’t just a
necklace
." Nyx’s lips curled into a smile. "No," they agreed. "It wasn’t." A sound cut through the alley—a wet, guttural *
gurgle
*. Aurora’s head snapped up. The distortion was back. But it wasn’t a door this time. It was a *
mouth
*. A gaping
maw
of darkness, ringed with teeth, opening in the brick wall. And from it, something *
slithered
* out. Something with too many limbs. Something with a face like melted wax. The same face Aurora had cut down in Dymas. It grinned, its teeth
glistening
. "Hello again," it gurgled. "Miss me?"
total_cost
0.027276
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
22
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
47
tagDensity
0.468
leniency
0.936
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
89.47%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
1900
totalAiIsmAdverbs
4
found
0
adverb
"suddenly"
count
1
1
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
2
adverb
"slightly"
count
1
3
adverb
"very"
count
1
highlights
0
"suddenly"
1
"slowly"
2
"slightly"
3
"very"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
21.05%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
1900
totalAiIsms
30
found
0
word
"pulsed"
count
3
1
word
"rhythmic"
count
1
2
word
"throb"
count
1
3
word
"shimmered"
count
2
4
word
"pulse"
count
1
5
word
"warmth"
count
1
6
word
"searing"
count
1
7
word
"stomach"
count
3
8
word
"lurching"
count
1
9
word
"symphony"
count
1
10
word
"crystal"
count
1
11
word
"glistening"
count
3
12
word
"whisper"
count
1
13
word
"gleaming"
count
2
14
word
"loomed"
count
2
15
word
"raced"
count
1
16
word
"echoed"
count
1
17
word
"unraveling"
count
1
18
word
"trembled"
count
2
19
word
"maw"
count
1
highlights
0
"pulsed"
1
"rhythmic"
2
"throb"
3
"shimmered"
4
"pulse"
5
"warmth"
6
"searing"
7
"stomach"
8
"lurching"
9
"symphony"
10
"crystal"
11
"glistening"
12
"whisper"
13
"gleaming"
14
"loomed"
15
"raced"
16
"echoed"
17
"unraveling"
18
"trembled"
19
"maw"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
0
maxInWindow
0
found
(empty)
highlights
(empty)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
214
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
0
narrationSentences
214
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
(empty)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
240
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
28
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
27
markdownWords
33
totalWords
1870
ratio
0.018
matches
0
"insistent"
1
"alive"
2
"too much"
3
"food"
4
"twitching"
5
"wrong"
6
"feasted"
7
"gulp"
8
"moved"
9
"shifted"
10
"fed"
11
"do not"
12
"sharp"
13
"passes through"
14
"feast"
15
"shifted"
16
"tasted"
17
"rippled"
18
"feisty"
19
"We’ll feast on you."
20
"crack"
21
"screamed"
22
"unexpected"
23
"necklace"
24
"gurgle"
25
"mouth"
26
"slithered"
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
20
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
50.00%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
65
wordCount
1684
uniqueNames
11
maxNameDensity
1.72
worstName
"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity
3.5
worstWindowName
"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Aurora
29
Heartstone
1
Pendant
1
Veil
1
Underground
1
Eva
1
Fae-forged
1
Nyx
15
Belphegor
8
Dymas
4
Fae
3
persons
0
"Aurora"
1
"Pendant"
2
"Veil"
3
"Eva"
4
"Nyx"
5
"Belphegor"
places
0
"Underground"
1
"Dymas"
globalScore
0.639
windowScore
0.5
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
129
glossingSentenceCount
1
matches
0
"looked like bone, its surface polished sm"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
1
per1kWords
0.535
wordCount
1870
matches
0
"not like old hinges, but like something *alive*, something waking"
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
240
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
100
mean
18.7
std
16.87
cv
0.902
sampleLengths
0
12
1
51
2
19
3
30
4
15
5
46
6
12
7
53
8
4
9
9
10
37
11
4
12
45
13
3
14
10
15
40
16
3
17
42
18
51
19
3
20
68
21
88
22
3
23
25
24
47
25
43
26
25
27
30
28
10
29
13
30
3
31
37
32
7
33
58
34
2
35
22
36
6
37
9
38
21
39
26
40
5
41
3
42
41
43
45
44
6
45
5
46
19
47
15
48
31
49
38
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
3
totalSentences
214
matches
0
"was piled"
1
"was gone"
2
"was gone"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
0
totalVerbs
304
matches
(empty)
0.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
28
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
21
totalSentences
240
ratio
0.088
matches
0
"The Heartstone Pendant pulsed once, twice—a deep, rhythmic throb like a second heartbeat."
1
"She’d felt the pendant’s warmth before—brief flares in the Underground, near abandoned churches—but never like this."
2
"A door appeared where none had been before—a slab of dark wood, warped and ancient, set into the brick wall as if it had always been there."
3
"The air hit her first—thick, sweet, like overripe fruit and warm bread."
4
"Laughter, too—deep, booming, guttural."
5
"The sky above wasn’t sky at all—it was a dome of swirling gold, like a sunset trapped in glass."
6
"Platters of meat—some roasted, some raw, some still *twitching*."
7
"Wine goblets, some as tall as her forearm, filled to the brim with liquids that shimmered—ruby, amber, inky black."
8
"The people—if they were people—sat or sprawled among the tables."
9
"Others were barely human at all—faces split into too many grins, fingers too long, too many of them, wriggling like worms."
10
"A man—no, not a man, his skin too smooth, his eyes too large—turned his head toward them."
11
"A child—if it was a child—with fingers like sausages clapped its hands."
12
"The food *shifted*, rearranging itself, forming a path—a corridor of indulgence, leading deeper into the courtyard."
13
"His eyes—small, black, gleaming—locked onto them."
14
"The first table held a platter of fruit—peaches, their skins split, their insides glistening."
15
"One of the feasting figures—a woman with hair like spun sugar—reached out, her fingers brushing Aurora’s sleeve."
16
"The nearest figure—a man with a face like melted wax—lunged."
17
"They turned—"
18
"—and the door was there."
19
"The pendant’s chain was gone, but the gem’s imprint remained—a faint, crimson burn."
20
"A sound cut through the alley—a wet, guttural *gurgle*."
97.28%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
116
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
5
adverbRatio
0.04310344827586207
lyAdverbCount
0
lyAdverbRatio
0
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
240
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
240
mean
7.79
std
5.15
cv
0.661
sampleLengths
0
12
1
23
2
13
3
15
4
16
5
3
6
3
7
14
8
9
9
1
10
3
11
10
12
5
13
6
14
16
15
2
16
17
17
5
18
10
19
2
20
4
21
27
22
2
23
2
24
18
25
3
26
1
27
9
28
13
29
13
30
11
31
4
32
2
33
27
34
11
35
2
36
3
37
3
38
10
39
12
40
5
41
13
42
10
43
3
44
4
45
19
46
4
47
15
48
4
49
19
39.58%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
25
diversityRatio
0.2875
totalSentences
240
uniqueOpeners
69
72.07%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
4
totalSentences
185
matches
0
"Just a seam of light"
1
"Then the sounds."
2
"Just an endless, warm glow."
3
"Too tall, too wide, their"
ratio
0.022
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
43
totalSentences
185
matches
0
"She froze mid-step on the"
1
"She didn’t answer."
2
"She’d felt the pendant’s warmth"
3
"She adjusted her grip on"
4
"She didn’t need the pendant"
5
"She stepped forward."
6
"She gagged, her stomach lurching."
7
"She swallowed hard, tasting honey"
8
"They stood at the edge"
9
"they murmured, their voice a"
10
"His mouth was full, his"
11
"He swallowed with a wet"
12
"he called, his voice a"
13
"He patted the bench beside"
14
"He snapped his fingers"
15
"His fingers, thick as sausages,"
16
"His face was a moon,"
17
"His eyes—small, black, gleaming—locked onto"
18
"he rumbled, his voice like"
19
"They stepped forward."
ratio
0.232
0.54%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
170
totalSentences
185
matches
0
"The pendant burned against Aurora’s"
1
"She froze mid-step on the"
2
"The Heartstone Pendant pulsed once,"
3
"The crimson gem glowed faintly"
4
"Nyx’s voice slithered from the"
5
"She didn’t answer."
6
"The alley stretched ahead, ordinary"
7
"A distortion, like heat rising"
8
"The Veil, thinning."
9
"Nyx stepped forward, their shadowy"
10
"Aurora’s pulse hammered in her"
11
"She’d felt the pendant’s warmth"
12
"She adjusted her grip on"
13
"Nyx tilted their head, a"
14
"The distortion pulsed again."
15
"A door appeared where none"
16
"Aurora’s breath hitched."
17
"She didn’t need the pendant"
18
"Nyx extended a hand, their"
19
"The door groaned, not like"
ratio
0.919
27.03%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
1
totalSentences
185
matches
0
"—and the door was there."
ratio
0.005
83.33%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
72
technicalSentenceCount
6
matches
0
"Nyx tilted their head, a gesture that looked almost human."
1
"Wine goblets, some as tall as her forearm, filled to the brim with liquids that shimmered—ruby, amber, inky black."
2
"The feasting figures watched, their grins widening, their hands twitching toward the dishes."
3
"The feasting figures rose, their grins widening, their hands reaching."
4
"Nyx’s shadow lashed out, wrapping around Aurora’s waist, yanking her back."
5
"The Fae blade was still in her grip, its edge dark with something that wasn’t blood."
0.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
22
uselessAdditionCount
6
matches
0
"Nyx’s voice slithered, their violet eyes flickering like dying embers"
1
"they murmured, their voice a whisper on the wind"
2
"he called, his voice a wet gurgle"
3
"she murmured, her voice a purr"
4
"she said, her voice steadier than she felt"
5
"He leaned, his belly pressing against the edge of the throne"
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
13
fancyCount
11
fancyTags
0
"Nyx murmured (murmur)"
1
"they murmured (murmur)"
2
"it squealed (squeal)"
3
"He snapped (snap)"
4
"they whispered (whisper)"
5
"she murmured (murmur)"
6
"He snapped (snap)"
7
"they hissed (hiss)"
8
"he murmured (murmur)"
9
"they murmured (murmur)"
10
"they agreed (agree)"
dialogueSentences
47
tagDensity
0.277
leniency
0.553
rawRatio
0.846
effectiveRatio
0.468
76.0122%