NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-19-01KHTXVJ7EW79KZCJ6PB117G54
Run Details
Model:
Claude Opus 4
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Horror: alone in an eerie place at night
Duration:
2m 56s
Cost:
$0.420450
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
90.76%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
80.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
64.58%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
50.00%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
44.15%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
62.42%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
57.38%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
18.73%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
89.09%
Technical jargon density
(details)
55.23%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
99.49%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
87.0615%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Horror genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
The stones shouldn't have been
warm.
Rory pressed her palm against
the ancient oak, its bark twisted into impossible spirals that hurt to follow with her eyes.
The heat pulsed through the
wood like a fever, like something sick and alive beneath the surface.
Richmond Park stretched empty behind
her, the November frost crackling on dead leaves, but here in the grove the air hung thick as August. "Right then."
She checked her phone
. No signal. Of course.
The message had been specific
about that. *Come alone. Midnight.
The old grove past the
deer enclosure. Don't tell anyone.*
The pendant against her chest
thrummed, matching the rhythm of the standing stones. Five of them, arranged in a rough circle, each carved from oak so old it had turned to something harder than stone. She'd thought they'd be bigger. In the photos Eva had sent, they'd looked massive, but these barely reached her shoulders. "Eva?"
Her voice fell flat in
the clearing. No
echo
. No birdsong. No wind.
The wildflowers bloomed in defiance
of season, their petals glowing faintly in the darkness.
Bluebells and snowdrops grew side
by side, summer roses tangled with autumn clematis. The smell was wrong too. Sweet rot underneath the perfume, like fruit left too long in the sun. She stepped into the circle. The world tilted. Not dramatically, just a subtle shift that made her
stomach
lurch
.
The trees beyond the stones
blurred, colours bleeding together like watercolours in rain. She blinked hard. When her vision cleared, the trees had moved. Just
slightly
.
The oak that had been
directly ahead now leaned fifteen degrees left. "Eva, this isn't funny."
A branch cracked somewhere behind
the stones. She spun,
scanning
the darkness. Nothing. But the sound had been wrong. Too sharp. Too wet. Like bone, not wood. The pendant burned now, hot enough to brand.
She pulled it out from
under her jumper, the crimson stone casting bloody shadows across her hands. The silver chain had darkened, tarnish spreading like infection from where it touched the stone. "She's not coming." Rory's heart slammed against her ribs. A woman stood between two of the standing stones, though stood wasn't quite right.
She existed there, edges flickering
like a bad television signal. Pale hair floated around her face, moving in currents that had nothing to do with wind.
Her dress might have been
white once.
Now it was the colour
of old teeth. "You're early," the woman said.
Her mouth didn't quite sync
with the words. "Where's Eva?" "Eva." The woman tilted her head. The angle was wrong. Too far. "Such a pretty name. Musical. Like screaming." Rory took a step back.
Her heel caught on something
soft. She looked down. A rabbit lay in the grass, fur
pristine
, eyes wide and glassy. No wounds. No blood.
Just wrong in the way
dead things are wrong when they shouldn't be dead. "Don't mind the offerings." The woman hadn't moved but she was closer now. "The grove takes what it needs. Tonight it needs more." "I'm leaving." "Are you?" Rory turned toward the gap between stones where she'd entered. The space had narrowed. The oaks leaned inward, bark flowing like syrup, sealing the exit with glacial certainty. "The pendant." The woman's attention fixed on the heartstone. "Oh, how delicious. Do you know what you carry?" "A gift." "A key." The woman's smile revealed too many teeth. Small ones, sharp ones, arranged in neat rows like a shark's. "And you've brought it home." The ground beneath Rory's feet softened. She looked down. The grass writhed, each blade moving independently, reaching for her ankles.
She stumbled sideways, away from
the spreading wrongness. "Time moves strangely here." The woman circled her, always keeping the same distance. "Your friend learned that. Three days she's been here. Or three minutes. Or three years. Hard to say." "You're lying." "Am I?" The woman gestured to the center of the grove. The air
shimmered
and tore. Through the gap, Rory saw Eva.
Her friend sat cross-legged on
stone floor, head bowed, hands folded in her lap. Candles burned around her in a
perfect
circle, flames frozen mid-
flicker
. Eva's lips moved in constant prayer or plea, but no sound escaped. "Eva!" Rory lunged forward. The vision snapped shut. The woman laughed, a sound like breaking bells. "She came looking for her sister. Sweet thing. Didn't know the old stories. Didn't know you need protection in the thin places." The woman's form solidified, becoming more real and somehow more wrong. "But you do. That pendant has kept you safe so far. Kept you hidden. Until tonight." The stones
began to
hum. Low at first, a vibration Rory felt in her bones. The flowers glowed brighter, their light pulsing in rhythm with the pendant. The woman's expression shifted to hunger. "Give it to me." "No." "Then we do this the hard way." The woman moved. Not walked, not ran. One moment she stood across the grove, the next her fingers wrapped around Rory's throat. Cold shot through the touch, burning worse than heat. Rory's vision sparked white at the edges. "The heartstone belongs to older things than you, little mouse." The woman's breath smelled of earth and endings. "Your friend is the appetizer. You're the meal. But the stone... the stone opens the feast hall." Rory clawed at the woman's wrists.
Her fingers passed through flesh
that wasn't flesh, catching on nothing. The pendant flared, crimson light spilling between them. The woman hissed, jerking back. "Still has teeth, does it?" She rubbed her hands together, skin flaking away like ash. "No matter. The grove is patient. And you're already here. Already breathing our air. Already changing." Rory gasped, pulling in lungfuls of too-sweet air. Her thoughts moved like molasses. When had she last checked the time?
Her phone lay in the
grass, screen cracked, showing 12:00. Still midnight. Always midnight. "Feel it?"
The woman circled again, predatory
. "Time means nothing here. You could leave in five minutes and find five years have passed. Or five centuries. Your friend discovered that when she
tried to
run." Movement in the shadows between stones. Shapes that might have been human once, stretched thin and wrong, reaching with too-long fingers toward the light. The woman smiled at them fondly. "My garden grows well here. Fed by the lost and the looking. You came looking, didn't you? For answers. For your friend. For yourself."
She stopped directly in front
of Rory. "Tell me, what did the message
really
say?" Rory's hand went to her pocket. The paper
was gone
. Had there been a paper? She remembered words on a screen, but whose phone? Eva didn't know about this place. Rory had never told her about the pendant, about the dreams that came with it, about the door that appeared in her flat some nights, always locked, always whispering. "There we are." The woman's smile widened. "Memory gets slippery in the thin places. Did she contact you? Or did you contact yourself? Did you come here to save her, or did you bring her here to feed us?" "No." But doubt crept in like fog. The pendant had been restless lately. Pulling her toward Richmond Park on her delivery runs. Making her take wrong turns that led past ancient trees and stone circles marked on no maps. "The heartstone calls to its own kind."
The woman reached out, fingers stopping just short of the pendant
. "Dymas misses his toys. Especially the ones that got away. You've been away so long, little key. Time to come home." The stones screamed. High and sharp, a sound that existed beyond hearing. Rory's knees buckled. The grass reached up, wrapping around her ankles, holding her in place. The woman knelt beside her, patient as winter. "Your friend fought too. Right until the end. Right until she remembered why she
really
came." The woman's fingers
traced
patterns in the air. "Shall I show you what she remembered?" The air tore again. This time Rory saw herself, standing in Eva's flat three days ago. Or was it three years? Her own face looked wrong, eyes too bright, smile too wide. She watched herself hand Eva a piece of paper. Watched Eva's expression shift from confusion to fear to blank acceptance. "Come alone," her own voice said from the vision. "Midnight.
The old grove past the
deer enclosure. Don't tell anyone." The vision
shattered
. Rory retched, bile burning her throat. The woman petted her hair with fingers that weren't quite solid. "The heartstone has been calling them for months. Everyone you've touched. Everyone you've loved. Drawing them here to feed the grove. To open the way." She leaned close. "How many others received messages, I wonder? How many are coming?" Rory thought of Silas, of the strange look he'd given her last week when she'd asked to change her shift. Of Yu-Fei, who'd mentioned having odd dreams. Of the customers who'd started requesting her specifically for deliveries, drawn by something they couldn't name. "All of them," she whispered. "All of them."
The woman stood, satisfied
. "The feast begins at the thirteenth hour. When midnight ends and morning never comes. Give me the stone, and I'll make it quick. For you and them." The pendant
pulsed
faster now, heartbeat-quick. Rory felt its rhythm syncing with her own, felt the boundary between flesh and stone beginning to blur. The woman was right. She had been calling them. The stone had been using her, spreading its influence through every interaction, every touch, every smile. "I won't." "Won't you?" The grove shuddered. Through the gaps between stones, Rory saw them coming. Figures moving through Richmond Park like sleepwalkers, drawn by messages they'd never question, compulsions they'd never fight. Silas in his bartender's apron. Yu-Fei still in her kitchen whites. Others she recognized from deliveries, from chance meetings, from moments when the pendant had grown warm and she'd felt compelled to linger. "They trust you." The woman's voice held genuine appreciation. "That's what makes it
perfect
. The heartstone doesn't force. It suggests. It whispers. It makes people want to come." Eva's image
flickered
in the center of the grove, still praying, still silent. But now Rory saw the truth. Her friend's lips
weren't moving
in prayer. They were smiling. The candles around her weren't a prison. They were an altar. "She understood in the end." The woman watched Rory's recognition with delight. "The stone showed her what she'd always wanted. Power. Purpose. A place in the new world we're building. All she had to do was call you here." "Eva wouldn't-" "Eva did." The woman gestured to the approaching figures. "Just as you did. Just as they're doing. The heartstone doesn't corrupt. It reveals. Shows you what you
really
want and gives you permission to take it." Rory struggled against the grass holding her. The pendant burned against her chest, its
pulse
becoming painful. She
could feel
it digging deeper, roots of light spreading through her veins, rewriting her from the inside out. "Thirteen offerings to open the way." The woman counted the approaching figures. "A key to turn the lock. And a willing heart to power it all." She smiled. "Guess which one you are." The first figure reached the stones.
Marcus
, the regular who always ordered extra spring rolls. He stepped through the gap without hesitation, eyes vacant, drawn by promises the stone had whispered through Rory's smile. The grove accepted him, grass parting like water. He walked to the center and knelt beside Eva, taking his place in the forming circle. "Stop this." "Stop?" The woman laughed. "You started it the moment you accepted the stone. Every delivery, every conversation, every moment of human connection became a trap. You've been building this ritual for months without knowing it." More figures entered. The grove expanded to accommodate them, reality stretching like taffy. Each person took their position with
mechanical
precision, forming concentric circles around Eva. Their eyes reflected the pendant's light, crimson and hungry. "Almost time." The woman checked the sky, though no stars showed through the canopy. "Twelve offerings in place. The thirteenth comes willing or not." Silas was the last to arrive. He paused at the edge of the stones, some part of him fighting the compulsion. His eyes found Rory,
a flicker of recognition
breaking through. "Rory? What's-" The pendant shrieked. Light poured from it, crimson threads that wrapped around Silas and dragged him forward. He screamed, the sound cut short as he crossed the threshold. The fight drained from his face, replaced by the same vacant smile as the others. "Thirteen." The woman clapped her hands. "Now we just need the key to turn." She grabbed Rory's face, forcing her to look at the assembled circle. Her friends, her customers, people she'd touched however briefly, all kneeling in
perfect
stillness. Waiting. The grove hummed with
anticipation
. "You can end this," the woman whispered. "Take your place in the center. Turn the key. Open the way between worlds. It's what the stone wants. What you want, deep down. To matter. To be the center of something larger than yourself." The pendant pulled, and Rory felt herself rising. Not her body, something deeper. The part of her that had always felt separate, special, chosen. The stone had found that secret pride and fed it, nurtured it, shaped it into this moment. "That's it." The woman's voice became honey. "You've always known you were different. The stone knew it too. That's why it chose you. Why it's been preparing you. Every life you touch becomes part of the pattern. Every connection strengthens the web. You're not just the key. You're the door itself." Rory stood on shaking legs. The grass released her, recognizing surrender. She took a step toward the circle, then another. The pendant sang, harmonizing with the stones, with the grove, with the waiting faithful. "Good girl." The woman walked beside her. "Your friend understood faster, but you're stronger. The door you'll open will be magnificent. Dymas will be so pleased." Another step. The circle parted to let her through. She could see Eva clearly now, face rapturous, lost in visions of what
was coming
. The others swayed
slightly
, breathing in unison, a single organism with thirteen parts. "Just kneel." The woman guided her to the center. "Let the stone do what it was made to do. What you were made to do." Rory's knees bent. The pendant lifted from her chest, floating at the end of its chain, pulsing like a heart outside a body. The grove shuddered with
anticipation
. She thought of her ex, Evan. How he'd isolated her, made her question her own thoughts, her own wants. How he'd convinced her she was special only through him, only as part of his world. The pendant had done the same thing, just with better packaging. "No." The word cracked like thunder. The woman's expression shifted from triumph to confusion. "What?" "I said no." Rory grabbed the pendant, its heat
searing
her palm. "I'm not your key. I'm not your door. I'm just someone who made a mistake." "You can't-" Rory yanked. The chain snapped, silver links scattering like rain. The pendant shrieked, light pouring from cracks spreading across its surface. The woman lunged forward, but too late. Rory drove the stone into the ground at the circle's heart. The world exploded. Light poured from the breaking heartstone,
not crimson now but pure white
. It hit the kneeling figures like a wave, washing the vacant smiles from their faces. They gasped, waking from dreams that had seemed so real, so right. "What have you done?" The woman's scream shook the trees. Her form
began to
unravel
, edges fraying like old cloth. "The door was opening! The feast was set!" "Then I guess everyone goes hungry." The grove convulsed. The standing stones cracked, ancient oak splitting with sounds like screaming. The flowers withered, seasons catching up in seconds. Summer roses became autumn leaves became winter dust. "Run!" Rory grabbed Eva, pulling her friend to her feet. Around them, the others stirred, confusion replacing blind faith. "Everyone out! Now!" They fled through the collapsing grove, reality snapping back like a rubber band. The woman's curses followed them, growing weaker as her form dissolved. The stones toppled inward, sealing whatever door they'd guarded. Rory stumbled into Richmond Park proper, the normal world hitting like cold water. Her phone buzzed with messages, timestamps that made no sense. Three minutes since she'd entered the grove. Three hours. Three different times from three different towers. "Rory?" Silas gripped her shoulder, his face pale but aware. "What happened? I was closing the bar and then... I had to come here. Had to..." "Later." She looked back at the grove. Or where it had been.
Only normal trees stood there
now, nothing special about them. The standing stones
were gone
. The flowers
were gone
. The woman
was gone
. But the scars on her palm remained, branded in the shape of a heart. "Is everyone-" She did a quick headcount. Thirteen, including herself. All accounted for. All awake. "My sister." Eva's voice was hoarse. "I remember now. She's been missing for months. I thought... in there, I thought I could find her if I just..." "If you just fed it enough." Rory pulled her friend close. "I know. It made us all think things. Want things." Sirens wailed in the distance. Someone had called the police, reporting strange lights in the park. They'd find nothing, Rory knew. The grove was good at hiding. But maybe that was finished now.
Maybe breaking the heartstone had
severed whatever let it exist between worlds. "We should go." Yu-Fei spoke up, practical even in shock. "Before questions we can't answer arrive." They scattered like guilty children, each returning to lives that
suddenly
seemed impossibly normal
. Rory walked Eva home, neither speaking. Words would come later, when the impossible felt less raw. At Eva's door, her friend finally asked, "Was any of it real? The messages? The need to go there?" Rory showed her the scar on her palm.
Already it was fading, but
the shape remained clear. "Real enough." She made it back to her flat as dawn broke over London. The space above Silas's bar had never looked more welcoming. She collapsed on her bed, still fully dressed, and tried not to think about doors between worlds or women with too many teeth. Her phone buzzed. Unknown number. *Thank you for your offering. The grove is patient. The heartstone has sisters. Sweet dreams, little key.* Rory deleted the message and pulled the covers over her head. Outside, London woke to another ordinary day. But in Richmond Park, if you knew where to look, if you came at just the right time, you might find a circle of dead grass where nothing would grow. You might hear whispers in the wind about feasts interrupted and doors left locked. You might feel watched. The bartender downstairs mixed drinks and
tried to
forget. The restaurant owner cooked food and avoided her dreams. Thirteen people across London woke with scars they couldn't explain and compulsions they didn't understand to avoid parks at midnight. And somewhere, in a place between here and there, a woman with too many teeth smiled and made new plans. The heartstone was broken, but stones could be replaced. Keys could be reforged. Doors could be opened. The feast was patient. It could wait.
total_cost
0.42045
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
43
adverbTagCount
4
adverbTags
0
"The woman's smile revealed too [too]"
1
"The woman circled again [again]"
2
"She stopped directly [directly]"
3
"She leaned close [close]"
dialogueSentences
99
tagDensity
0.434
leniency
0.869
rawRatio
0.093
effectiveRatio
0.081
90.76%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
3247
totalAiIsmAdverbs
6
found
0
adverb
"slightly"
count
2
1
adverb
"really"
count
3
2
adverb
"suddenly"
count
1
highlights
0
"slightly"
1
"really"
2
"suddenly"
80.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
0
"Marcus"
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
64.58%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
3247
totalAiIsms
23
found
0
word
"pulsed"
count
2
1
word
"echo"
count
1
2
word
"stomach"
count
1
3
word
"lurch"
count
1
4
word
"scanning"
count
1
5
word
"pristine"
count
1
6
word
"shimmered"
count
1
7
word
"perfect"
count
3
8
word
"flicker"
count
2
9
word
"traced"
count
1
10
word
"shattered"
count
1
11
word
"flickered"
count
1
12
word
"pulse"
count
1
13
word
"could feel"
count
1
14
word
"mechanical"
count
1
15
word
"anticipation"
count
2
16
word
"searing"
count
1
17
word
"unravel"
count
1
highlights
0
"pulsed"
1
"echo"
2
"stomach"
3
"lurch"
4
"scanning"
5
"pristine"
6
"shimmered"
7
"perfect"
8
"flicker"
9
"traced"
10
"shattered"
11
"flickered"
12
"pulse"
13
"could feel"
14
"mechanical"
15
"anticipation"
16
"searing"
17
"unravel"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"flicker of emotion"
count
1
highlights
0
"a flicker of recognition"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
3
narrationSentences
291
matches
0
"n with delight"
1
"d with anticipation"
2
"d with anticipation"
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
3
narrationSentences
291
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
0
"began to"
1
"tried to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
345
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
44
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
2
markdownWords
30
totalWords
3239
ratio
0.009
matches
0
"Come alone. Midnight. The old grove past the deer enclosure. Don't tell anyone."
1
"Thank you for your offering. The grove is patient. The heartstone has sisters. Sweet dreams, little key."
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
25
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
50.00%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
88
wordCount
2402
uniqueNames
15
maxNameDensity
1.67
worstName
"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity
3.5
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Park
5
November
1
August
1
Eva
15
Rory
40
Small
1
Movement
1
Richmond
5
Silas
6
Yu-Fei
3
Evan
1
Thirteen
2
Sirens
1
London
3
Three
3
persons
0
"Eva"
1
"Rory"
2
"Silas"
3
"Yu-Fei"
4
"Evan"
5
"Thirteen"
6
"Sirens"
places
0
"Park"
1
"Richmond"
2
"London"
3
"Three"
globalScore
0.667
windowScore
0.5
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
190
glossingSentenceCount
3
matches
0
"quite sync with the words"
1
"seemed so real so right"
2
"seemed impossibly normal"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
1
per1kWords
0.309
wordCount
3239
matches
0
"not crimson now but pure white"
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
345
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
125
mean
25.91
std
17.02
cv
0.657
sampleLengths
0
6
1
62
2
30
3
55
4
14
5
45
6
5
7
52
8
4
9
27
10
40
11
3
12
61
13
13
14
2
15
19
16
44
17
23
18
2
19
2
20
28
21
18
22
2
23
25
24
28
25
31
26
2
27
11
28
48
29
4
30
12
31
49
32
33
33
4
34
1
35
7
36
38
37
35
38
30
39
31
40
34
41
35
42
30
43
39
44
59
45
39
46
39
47
39
48
35
49
31
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
4
totalSentences
291
matches
0
"was gone"
1
"were gone"
2
"were gone"
3
"was gone"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
2
totalVerbs
452
matches
0
"weren't moving"
1
"was coming"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
345
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
2410
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
93
adverbRatio
0.03858921161825726
lyAdverbCount
20
lyAdverbRatio
0.008298755186721992
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
345
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
345
mean
9.39
std
6.65
cv
0.708
sampleLengths
0
6
1
21
2
17
3
24
4
6
5
2
6
2
7
7
8
2
9
1
10
7
11
3
12
13
13
22
14
5
15
15
16
8
17
2
18
2
19
2
20
14
21
13
22
5
23
13
24
5
25
3
26
11
27
13
28
3
29
8
30
2
31
12
32
4
33
7
34
5
35
1
36
6
37
2
38
2
39
4
40
8
41
17
42
15
43
3
44
6
45
14
46
10
47
16
48
7
49
8
44.15%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
36
diversityRatio
0.32753623188405795
totalSentences
345
uniqueOpeners
113
62.42%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
5
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"Just wrong in the way"
1
"Only normal trees stood there"
2
"All accounted for."
3
"Maybe breaking the heartstone had"
4
"Already it was fading, but"
ratio
0.019
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
56
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"She checked her phone"
1
"She'd thought they'd be bigger."
2
"Her voice fell flat in"
3
"She stepped into the circle."
4
"She blinked hard."
5
"She spun, scanning the darkness."
6
"She pulled it out from"
7
"She existed there, edges flickering"
8
"Her dress might have been"
9
"Her mouth didn't quite sync"
10
"Her heel caught on something"
11
"She looked down."
12
"She looked down."
13
"She stumbled sideways, away from"
14
"Her friend sat cross-legged on"
15
"Her fingers passed through flesh"
16
"She rubbed her hands together,"
17
"Her thoughts moved like molasses."
18
"Her phone lay in the"
19
"She stopped directly in front"
ratio
0.21
57.38%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
215
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"The stones shouldn't have been"
1
"Rory pressed her palm against"
2
"The heat pulsed through the"
3
"Richmond Park stretched empty behind"
4
"She checked her phone"
5
"The message had been specific"
6
"The old grove past the"
7
"The pendant against her chest"
8
"She'd thought they'd be bigger."
9
"Her voice fell flat in"
10
"The wildflowers bloomed in defiance"
11
"Bluebells and snowdrops grew side"
12
"The smell was wrong too."
13
"She stepped into the circle."
14
"The world tilted."
15
"The trees beyond the stones"
16
"She blinked hard."
17
"The oak that had been"
18
"A branch cracked somewhere behind"
19
"She spun, scanning the darkness."
ratio
0.805
18.73%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
1
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"Now it was the colour"
ratio
0.004
89.09%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
93
technicalSentenceCount
7
matches
0
"Rory pressed her palm against the ancient oak, its bark twisted into impossible spirals that hurt to follow with her eyes."
1
"Shapes that might have been human once, stretched thin and wrong, reaching with too-long fingers toward the light."
2
"The grass reached up, wrapping around her ankles, holding her in place."
3
"Of the customers who'd started requesting her specifically for deliveries, drawn by something they couldn't name."
4
"She could feel it digging deeper, roots of light spreading through her veins, rewriting her from the inside out."
5
"The pendant lifted from her chest, floating at the end of its chain, pulsing like a heart outside a body."
6
"Her phone buzzed with messages, timestamps that made no sense."
55.23%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
43
uselessAdditionCount
6
matches
0
"She rubbed, skin flaking away like ash"
1
"The woman circled again, predatory"
2
"The woman reached out, fingers stopping just short of the pendant"
3
"The woman stood, satisfied"
4
"Rory grabbed, its heat searing her palm"
5
"Silas gripped, his face pale but aware"
99.49%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
7
fancyCount
5
fancyTags
0
"The woman's smile revealed too (reveal)"
1
"she whispered (whisper)"
2
"The woman laughed (laugh)"
3
"the woman whispered (whisper)"
4
"Yu-Fei spoke up (speak up)"
dialogueSentences
99
tagDensity
0.071
leniency
0.141
rawRatio
0.714
effectiveRatio
0.101
87.0615%