NC Bench
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Run: 2026-02-19-01KHTXXCJ5WW5S4MXVDRZCFF3N
Run Details
Model:
Claude Opus 4
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Romance: separated couple reunites
Duration:
4m 44s
Cost:
$0.684240
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
87.23%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
40.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
75.44%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
(details)
42.64%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
59.38%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
99.88%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
73.18%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
53.63%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
37.45%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
79.83%
Technical jargon density
(details)
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
84.9557%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Romance genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4415" name="Lucien Moreau" aliases="Lucien, Luc, the Frenchman" pronouns="he/him" species="Half-Demon" storyRole="Ally"> <eyeColor>heterochromatic — one amber, one black</eyeColor> <hair>slicked-back platinum blond</hair> <height>5'11"</height> <age>32</age> <cane>ivory-handled cane that conceals a thin blade</cane> <dress>tailored charcoal suits</dress> <description>An impeccably dressed fixer and information broker in London's supernatural underworld. He speaks four languages fluently.</description> <backstory>Born in Marseille to a human mother and a demon father from the realm of Avaros.</backstory> </character> <location id="858" name="Eva's Flat" aliases="Eva's place, the flat on Brick Lane" realm="Earth"> <cat>tabby cat named Ptolemy</cat> <security>three deadbolts on the front door</security> <description>A cramped one-bedroom flat above a curry house on Brick Lane, East London. Every surface is covered with books, scrolls, and research notes.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the romance genre. Two people who parted on complicated terms are forced together again when one shows up unannounced at the other's flat. There's history between them — attraction, hurt, and things left unsaid. Write the scene from the moment the door opens. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
The knock came twice. Sharp. Deliberate.
Rory's hand froze on the
deadbolt.
Nobody knocked like that except
coppers and people who meant trouble. Given the hour and the fact she'd been keeping her nose clean lately, that left the second option. "Open up, Rory. I
know
you're there."
The voice hit her like
a fist to the solar plexus.
French accent wrapped around her
name like
silk
and broken glass.
She hadn't heard it in
three years, two months, and sixteen days. Not that she'd been counting. "Go away, Lucien." "Can't do that." A pause. "The hallway smells like curry and disappointment. Your neighbours must love you."
She pressed her forehead against
the door. The wood was cool, solid. Real. Unlike the ghost haunting her landing. "What do you want?" "To talk." "We did that already. Didn't end well." "Open the door, Aurora." Her full name.
He only used that when
things mattered. When the game turned serious.
Her fingers worked the locks
without permission, muscle memory overriding common sense. Three deadbolts. Click. Click. Click. Each one a small betrayal. The door swung inward.
Lucien Moreau stood in her
hallway like he'd stepped out of a magazine spread on how to dress for your own funeral. Charcoal suit cut to perfection. Platinum hair slicked back.
Those impossible eyes — one
amber, one black — studying her with an
intensity
that made her skin prickle. "You look well." "You look the same."
The words came out sharper
than intended. "Still playing dress-up, I see." His mouth twitched. Almost a smile. "May I come in?" "No."
He shifted his weight, ivory-handled
cane tapping once against the floor. "The Bengali family in 3B are about to have dinner. They'll invite me to join if they see me loitering. Lovely people, but their idea of mild curry could strip paint." "Not my problem." "It will be when they start asking questions about your gentleman caller." Rory stepped back. Just enough.
He slipped past her, bringing
the scent of expensive cologne and something darker. Sulphur and cinnamon. The demon side of his heritage always
smelled like bonfire night
.
Her flat looked smaller with
him in it. Books and papers covered every surface, Eva's research bleeding across the coffee table like spilled ink. Ptolemy lifted his head from the sofa, yellow eyes narrowing at the intruder. "You've been busy." Lucien picked up a scroll, careful not to disturb the salt circle drawn around it. "Sumerian?" "Put that down." He did. Immediately. Which somehow made it worse. "Why are you here?" "I need your help." A laugh escaped before she could stop it. Bitter as burnt coffee. "That's rich." "I'm serious." "You're always serious. Seriously manipulative. Seriously self-serving. Seriously—" "In danger." The words hung between them. Rory's hands found her hips, defensive posture she'd perfected during their last argument. The one that ended with her throwing his cane out a third-story window and him suggesting she had anger management issues. "Not my circus, not my monkeys." "Charming."
He moved deeper into the
flat, each step
measured
. "Though technically, I believe the Polish say 'nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy.'" "Get out." "I can't." For the first time since she'd opened the door, something cracked in his
perfect
composure. "They have leverage." "Who's they?" "The kind of people who make my usual associates look like choir boys." He paused by her bookshelf, fingers ghosting over the spines. "You still have it."
She followed his gaze to
the leather journal wedged between two grimoires.
His gift from their first
month together. Back when she thought mysterious could be romantic instead of exhausting. "I keep meaning to burn it." "But you don't." "I've been busy." "For three years?" "Some of us have actual jobs."
She grabbed the journal, shoving
it into a drawer. "We can't all be professional shadows." "Information broker." "Same difference." Ptolemy
chose that moment
to investigate, winding around Lucien's legs with feline curiosity. Traitor. "He remembers me." "He remembers everyone who feeds him. Don't read into it." Lucien crouched, scratching behind the cat's ears with
practiced ease
. The movement made his suit jacket ride up, revealing the edge of a bandage wrapped around his ribs. Fresh blood had seeped through, staining the white fabric rust-red. "Jesus." The concern slipped out before she could catch it. "What happened?" "Occupational hazard."
He straightened, face carefully neutral
. "Nothing serious." "You're bleeding on my floor." "Barely." "That's not the point." "What is the point, Aurora? That you care? Or that you're angry you care?" The question landed like a slap. Three years of
carefully
constructed
walls threatened to crumble from six words and a bloodstain. "Sit down before you fall down." "I'm fine." "You're swaying." "The floor's uneven." "It's a Victorian conversion, not a funhouse."
She grabbed his elbow, steering
him toward the sofa. "Sit." He sat. The fact that he didn't argue worried her more than the blood. "Take off your jacket." "Forward as ever." "Shut up." The jacket came off in stages, each movement deliberate despite the pain it obviously caused. Underneath, his white shirt
was ruined
. The bandage covered most of his left side, professional but hastily applied. "Hospital work?" "Private clinic. Discrete." "Discrete or discreet?" "Both, ideally."
His heterochromatic gaze tracked her
movements as she gathered supplies from the bathroom. "You kept the first aid kit." "I keep lots of things."
She dropped beside him, scissors
in hand. "This is going to hurt." "Most things do."
She cut away the bandage
with steady hands, revealing three parallel gashes across his ribs. Deep. Deliberate. Claw marks from something that wasn't quite animal. "What did this?" "Would you believe a
very
angry housecat?" "No." "Then I'd rather not say." "Lucien—" "The less you
know
, the safer you are." "Says the man bleeding on my sofa." "Fair point."
He hissed as she cleaned
the wounds with antiseptic. "Though technically, I'm bleeding on your cushions. The sofa frame remains
pristine
." "I'm going to stab you with these scissors." "Please don't. I've had enough sharp objects in me this week." Her hands stilled. "This week? How many times—" "Rory." The nickname stopped her. He'd called her Aurora since walking in, keeping that careful distance between them. But Rory was intimate. Personal. A
reminder
of better times before everything went sideways. "Don't." "I wouldn't be here if I had anywhere else to go." "I find that hard to believe. You
know
everyone in this city." "I knew everyone. Past tense. Things change when you refuse a direct order from the Covenant." The Covenant. She'd heard Eva mention them. Old power. Older than London itself. The kind of people who collected favours like stamps and called in debts with compound interest. "What did they want?" "What they always want. Information on someone under my protection." "And you said no?" She taped fresh gauze over the wounds, trying not to think about how
familiar
this felt. How many times she'd patched him up in the early days, before she understood the cost of loving someone who traded in secrets. "I said no." "Why?" "Because some things matter more than survival." The words hung between them, loaded with meaning. She finished with the bandage, sitting back on her heels. "There. Try not to bleed through that one." "Your bedside manner's improved." "I've had practice." "On who?" The question came out sharper than he'd probably intended. Jealousy didn't suit him, but there it was, green as spring grass. "Myself, mostly. London's not exactly safe for delivery drivers." "You're still doing that?" "Food doesn't deliver itself." "You have a law degree." "I have half a law degree and a mountain of student debt. We've had this conversation." "We've had many conversations." "And look how well those turned out." Ptolemy jumped onto the sofa between them, a furry referee in their verbal boxing match. Lucien scratched under his chin, earning a purr loud enough to wake the neighbours. "I missed this." "The cat?" "Everything." He leaned back, exhaustion finally showing through the cracks. "Your terrible tea. Eva's conspiracy theories. Even that bloody awful curry smell from downstairs." "Don't." "Don't what?" "Don't come here playing the nostalgia card. You left, remember?" "You threw me out." "After you lied about the Morrison job." "I withheld certain details." "You got me arrested." "Briefly." "Two nights in holding isn't briefly." "I got you released." "You got me released because you needed me to finish the job." The anger felt good. Familiar. Safer than whatever else
was trying
to crawl up her throat. "Just like now. You need something, so here you are. What is it this time? Translation work? Someone need their palms read? Or am I playing bait again?" "None of the above." "Then what?" He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a photograph. Worn edges suggested he'd been carrying it for a while. "I need you to find someone." She took the photo. A woman, early thirties, dark hair pulled back in a severe bun. Office clothes. The kind of person who'd blend into any crowd. "Who is she?" "Margaret
Chen
. Accountant. Worked for a firm in the City until she disappeared six weeks ago." "And?" "And she has something the Covenant wants. Something they're willing to kill for." "What kind of something?" "The kind that could reshape the balance of power in London. Human and otherwise." Rory studied the photo. The woman looked normal. Tired, maybe. Dark circles under her eyes like she'd been working too many late nights. But normal people didn't disappear with supernatural WMDs. "Why me?" "Because you're the only person in this city who found four missing people when everyone else had given up. Because you think sideways when everyone else thinks straight. Because—" "Because you're out of options." "That too."
At least he was honest
about it. Sort of. Honesty and Lucien had a complicated relationship, like everything else about him. "What makes you think I'll help?" "I don't." He stood, grinding his teeth against the pain. "But I had to ask." "Where are you going?" "Away. You're right. This was a mistake." "Sit down, you idiot. You'll tear the stitches." "They're butterfly strips, not stitches." "Same principle." She pushed him back onto the sofa, irritated at herself for caring. "You can't leave in this state." "Watch me." "I am watching. You're white as paper and sweating like you've run a marathon. When's the last time you ate?" "Tuesday." "It's Friday." "Then Tuesday." "Lucien." "I've been rather busy bleeding." She moved to the kitchen, muscle memory
navigating
the
familiar
space. The fridge held leftover takeaway from the Golden Empress, some questionable cheese, and half a bottle of wine she'd been saving for emergencies. This probably qualified. "Chicken or beef?" "I'm not hungry." "Wasn't the question." "Chicken, then." She heated the food, trying not to think about how easily they'd fallen back into old patterns. Him bleeding on her furniture. Her feeding him. The cat playing mediator. Some things never changed, apparently. "The photo," she called from the kitchen. "Where was it taken?" "Outside her office building. Three days before she vanished." "Security footage?" "Wiped. Very professionally." "Flatmates? Family?" "None and estranged, respectively." "Convenient." "Quite." She returned with two plates and the wine. He accepted both with a grace that made her remember why she'd fallen for him in the first place.
Even half-dead, Lucien Moreau moved
like a dancer. "So Margaret
Chen
stumbles across something worldshaking and decides to vanish rather than cash in. Either she's
very
noble or
very
scared." "Both, I suspect." "You've met her?" "Once. Briefly. She came to me seeking protection." "And?" "And I arranged a safe house. New identity. The works." "Let me guess. The Covenant found her anyway." "No." He set down his chopsticks. "She ran. Left the safe house after two days. Took whatever she was hiding and disappeared properly this time." "Smart woman." "Too smart. She knows they'll never stop looking." "Neither will you, apparently." "I gave my word." "To her or the Covenant?" "To myself." He met her eyes. "I told her she'd be safe. I failed. That matters." And there it was. The thing that made Lucien impossible to hate
completely
. Buried under all the games and half-truths was a man who kept his promises. Even when it cost him. "Fine." "Fine?" "I'll help. But there are conditions." "Of course there are." "First, full disclosure. No lies, no creative omissions, no 'I'll tell you later' bullshit." "Agreed." "Second, we do this my way. No improvising, no side angles, no surprise appearances from your colourful associates." "Reasonable." "Third, when we find her, she decides what happens next. Not you, not the Covenant. Her." "I wouldn't have it otherwise." "Fourth—" "How many conditions are there?" "Fourth, you sleep on the sofa. This isn't... we're not..." "I understand." "Do you?" "You're helping because it's the right thing to do. Not because of our history. Though speaking of history—" The window exploded inward in a shower of glass and fury. Rory hit the floor, pulling Lucien with her. Ptolemy yowled, launching himself toward the bedroom. Smart cat. "Friends of yours?" "Never seen them before in my life." Three figures poured through the destroyed window. Not human. Not entirely. Grey skin pulled too tight over elongated limbs. Eyes like black marbles. Covenant enforcement, if she had to guess. The kind of muscle that didn't ask questions because dead men had no curiosity. "Aurora Carter." The lead creature's voice
sounded like grinding stone
. "You will come with us." "Popular as always," Lucien murmured. "Shut up." She grabbed the nearest weapon — Eva's authenticated Saxon sword letter opener. "I don't suppose we can discuss this like civilised beings?" "The Covenant requires your presence." "I'm washing my hair." "You will come." "She
really
won't."
Lucien stood, cane spinning in his hand
. The hidden blade clicked free. "Gentlemen. Shall we
dance
?" The creatures moved faster than anything had a right to. Rory rolled left as claws raked the floor where she'd been. The letter opener found grey flesh, sinking deep. The creature screamed, black blood spraying across her books. "Eva's going to kill me." "Priorities, love." She wanted to snap back, but creature number two was already on her. She grabbed its wrist, using momentum to slam it into the wall. Plaster cracked. The creature bounced back, angrier than before. Lucien fought like he did everything else — with style and devastating efficiency. His blade painted arcs in the air, silver lines that grey flesh couldn't cross. But he was hurt, slow. The third creature caught him across the shoulders, sending him into the bookshelf. "No!" The word tore from her throat before she could stop it. Mistake. Creature two grabbed her distraction, claws finding her throat. Not squeezing. Yet.
Just letting her know who
was in charge. "You will come quietly now." "Actually," Lucien said from the floor, "she won't." He threw something. Small. Glass. It
shattered
against creature two's head, releasing purple smoke that
smelled like burnt sugar and bad decisions
. The creature's grip loosened. Its eyes rolled back. It dropped like a stone. "What was that?" "Thursday's backup plan." He accepted her hand up, wincing. "We should go." "My flat—" "Will be crawling with more of them in minutes." He kicked creature one, still bleeding from the letter opener. "These are just scouts." She grabbed her jacket, shoving the photo of Margaret
Chen
into the pocket. Ptolemy meowed from the bedroom doorway. "Take the fire escape. Mrs.
Patel
in 2A will feed him." "How do you
know
Mrs.
Patel
?" "Later." They climbed through the
shattered
window, feet finding the rusty metal of the fire escape. Behind them, something howled. More creatures. Getting closer. "My car's two blocks east," Lucien said. "You're in no condition to drive." "Then you drive." "I don't have a licence." "Since when has that stopped you?" Fair point. They clattered down the stairs, metal shrieking under their
weight
. The alley below stank of bins and broken dreams. Home sweet home. "This way." He led her through London's maze of back streets, moving with the confidence of someone who'd spent years learning every shadow.
Even bleeding, even hunted, Lucien
Moreau owned this city's darkness. His car sat under a broken streetlight. Of course it did. Black Mercedes, windows tinted past legal. The kind of car that whispered money and danger in equal measure. "Keys." He tossed them over. She slid behind the wheel, adjusting the seat. Everything smelled like leather and that damned cologne. "Where to?" "Anywhere but here." She gunned it, tyres squealing. In the mirror, grey shapes poured from the alley. Too late, boys. Rory Carter knew how to run. She'd been doing it all her life. "So," she said, taking a corner on two wheels, "Thursday's backup plan?" "I may have anticipated some complications." "You knew they were coming." "I suspected someone might take issue with my refusal." He pressed a hand to his ribs. Fresh blood seeped through. "Though I expected more finesse." "The Covenant's not known for subtlety." "No. Which is what concerns me." He directed her through a series of turns, each one taking them deeper into London's industrial heart. "They wanted you to see them coming." "Why?" "Because they want you scared. Reactive. Making mistakes." His reflection in the passenger window looked thoughtful. "The question is why you? I'm the one who denied them." "Maybe they
know
about my spectacular record of finding people." "Maybe." He didn't sound convinced. "Pull over here." Here was a warehouse that
looked like it had died in the seventies
and nobody had bothered with a funeral. Graffiti covered most surfaces. The rest was rust and regret. "Safehouse?" "Something like that." Inside was different. Clean. Organised. Set up like a high-end flat dropped into industrial decay. Trust Lucien to have backup plans for his backup plans. "Drink?" He moved to a well-stocked bar, movements careful. "Answers." "Those too." He poured two glasses of something amber and expensive. "Margaret
Chen
isn't just an accountant." "Shocking." "She's an actuarial savant. Sees patterns others miss. Calculates probability like breathing." He handed her a glass. "Six weeks ago, she was hired to audit a company called Meridian Holdings." "Never heard of them." "You wouldn't have. Shell company. One of hundreds the Covenant uses to move resources through the human financial system." "And she found something." "She found everything. Every transaction. Every connection. A financial map of the Covenant's operations going back fifty years." He took a slow sip. "Do you understand what that means?" Rory did. The Covenant's power came from shadows and secrets. Expose their financial network, and you exposed everything. Assets. Associates. Weaknesses. "She has leverage." "She has a nuclear bomb. And they want it back." "Or buried." "That too." She drained her glass, alcohol burning away the taste of fear and grey blood. "Why didn't she come to the police?" "With what? Spreadsheets showing supernatural creatures have bank accounts? They'd section her." "Fair point." She studied him over the rim of her glass. "There's more." "Isn't there always?" "Lucien." "She didn't just take the data." He refilled both glasses. "She took something else. Something physical from their deepest vault." "What kind of something?" "The kind that predates human civilisation. The kind the Covenant was founded to protect." His mismatched eyes met hers. "The kind that could end the world if used incorrectly." "You're joking." "I rarely joke about apocalypses. Apocalypti? What's the plural?" "You let me agree to find someone carrying a doomsday device?" "Technically, you insisted on conditions first." She threw her glass. He ducked. Crystal
shattered
against the wall, leaving an amber stain. "That was Waterford." "That was justified." "Perhaps." He picked up a shard, examining it. "But now we're down to five glasses." "I'm going to kill you." "Join the queue." "This isn't funny." "No," he agreed. "It's not. Which is why I need your help. You find people, Rory. People who don't want to be found. And right now, Margaret
Chen
is the most important missing person in London." "Because she has your magical WMD." "Because she's a good person who tried to do the right thing and is now being hunted by monsters. The WMD is secondary." "Is it?" "Yes." The simple answer surprised her. Lucien dealt in layers and complexities. Straight answers were as rare as honest politicians. "What happens if the Covenant finds her first?" "Best case? They kill her
quickly
." "Worst case?" "They take her apart looking for what she took. Then they kill everyone she's ever spoken to. Including me. Including you, now." "You bastard." "Yes." At least he owned it. She grabbed the bottle, forgetting glasses altogether. The alcohol helped.
Not much, but some
. "How long do we have?" "Hard to say. Hours. Days if we're lucky." "And if we're not lucky?" "Then those three scouts were just the beginning." He moved to the window,
scanning
the street below. "They'll mobilise everything. Hunters. Trackers. Things that haven't seen moonlight in centuries." "All for one accountant." "All for what she represents. Proof that their system can be beaten. That humans can fight back." He turned from the window. "They can't allow that precedent." "So we find her first." "We find her first." "Any ideas where to start?" "Several. But you're not going to like them." "I already don't like any of this." "Fair." He pulled out his phone, scrolling through contacts. "We need resources. Information. Bodies on the ground." "Your network." "What's left of it. The Covenant's been thorough. Half my contacts are dead. The other half are scared." He paused on a name. "But there are always those who enjoy chaos more than comfort." "Who?" "Someone you've met. Briefly." Her
stomach
dropped. "No." "He owes me a favour." "Absolutely not." "Three favours, actually." "Lucien, I swear—" "Hello, Viktor? It's Lucien. Yes, I'm aware of the hour." He switched to rapid Russian. Rory caught maybe one word in ten. Something about debts and daughters and Detroit. She grabbed the phone. "End it." "Rory says hello," Lucien said in English. "Yes, that Rory. No, we're not — it's complicated." "It's not complicated. We're nothing." "She says we're nothing," Lucien translated. "I
know
. Women, right?" She hit him.
Not hard, but enough to make her point
. He winced, hand going to his ribs. "Sorry. No, not you, Viktor. Yes, Tuesday's fine. Usual place? Perfect." He hung up. "He'll have information by then." "I'm not meeting Viktor bloody Volkov." "You threw wine at him. He found it charming." "I threw wine at him because he suggested I'd look better as a brunette while his hand was on my arse." "To be fair, you did break his fingers." "Only two." "Three. The pinky never healed right." "Good." Lucien's phone buzzed. He frowned at the screen. "That's interesting." "What?" "Motion sensors. We have company." She moved to the window. The street below looked empty. Too empty. The kind of empty that meant someone had cleared it. "Covenant?" "Wrong signature. These are... different." "Different how?" "Human." The door exploded inward. Not grey creatures this time. Men in tactical gear, moving with military precision. Red dots danced across her chest. "Nobody move." "I'm getting déjà vu," she muttered. "Ms Carter. Mr Moreau." The lead soldier kept his weapon trained. Professional. Calm. The dangerous kind. "You'll come with us. Please." "At least he said please," Lucien observed. "Not helping." "Just noting the improved manners. The Covenant could learn something." "Sir, we have a schedule to keep." "Of course." Lucien raised his hands. "Might I ask who's employing you? Professional curiosity." "Someone who wants Ms Carter alive and unharmed." "Just me?" "Our orders were specific." "How flattering." She glanced at Lucien. "Thoughts?" "Several. None helpful." "Going to fight?" "With what? Harsh language?" He stepped forward
slowly
. "Gentlemen. We'll come quietly. No need for unpleasantness." "Smart choice." They zip-tied their hands. Professional courtesy — in front, not behind. Someone wanted them
comfortable
. That worried her more than violence would have. "Black van?" Lucien asked as they
were led
outside. "Really?" "Budget cuts," the soldier said. "Everyone's feeling the pinch." "Tell me about it. I used to have three safe houses in London. Now look at me. Slumming it in Zone 3." "This is Zone 2." "Is it? I lose track." "Can you stop making friends with the people kidnapping us?" "I'm networking. You never
know
when a contact might prove useful." "You're insane." "Probably." They
were loaded
into the van. Clean. No windows. Two guards watched them while the rest took positions up front. The engine started, smooth and quiet. Expensive. Like everything else about this operation. "Any idea where we're going?" Rory asked. "Bearing and speed suggest northwest. Mayfair, possibly. Maybe St John's Wood." "How can you tell?" "The turns. London's medieval street plan makes navigation mathematical if you
know
the patterns." "Or you could just look at my
watch
," one guard offered. "GPS tracker. Wife got it for me. Doesn't trust me since the thing in Brighton." "What happened in Brighton?" Lucien asked. "Stag do. What happens in Brighton—" "Stays in Brighton," the other guard finished. "Except when it follows you home and starts asking about child support." "You had one job, Terry. Keep Dave away from the karaoke bar." "Have you tried keeping Dave away from anything? Man's like a labrador with opposable thumbs." Rory stared at them. "Are you seriously discussing your mate's love life while kidnapping us?" "It's a long drive," Terry said. "Got to pass the time somehow." "Twenty minutes in this traffic," Dave added. "Maybe thirty if there's construction on the Westway." "There's always construction on the Westway." "True. Remember when they said it'd be done by Christmas?" "Which Christmas?" "Exactly." "I've changed my mind," Rory told Lucien. "You're not the maddest person here." "I'm oddly offended by that." The van stopped. Door opened. Not Mayfair. Somewhere industrial from the smell. Diesel and rust and Thames mud. "End of the line." They
were led
into another warehouse. This one occupied. Guards at every entrance. Tech setup that would make GCHQ jealous. And in the centre, a woman who looked like she'd stepped from a boardroom by way of a military academy. "Ms Carter. Thank you for coming." "Did I have a choice?" "There's always a choice. I simply made one option more appealing." She turned to Lucien. "Mr Moreau. Your reputation precedes you." "Madam. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage." "Director
Sarah
Chen
. Homeland Security. Recently seconded to a task force that doesn't officially exist." Rory's brain stuttered. "
Chen
?" "Margaret's my sister." The director's composure cracked
slightly
. "Half-sister. Different mothers. Same stubborn streak." "Government?" Lucien's voice carried careful neutrality. "How refreshing. Usually, we're kidnapped by the private sector." "This isn't a kidnapping. It's aggressive recruitment." "With zip ties?" "With incentives."
Chen
gestured to a guard, who cut their restraints. "Tea?" "You're offering tea?" "Earl Grey or English Breakfast. We also have coffee, but it's been sitting since morning." "This is the strangest kidnapping ever," Rory said. "Not a kidnapping,"
Chen
repeated. "And you haven't been to Moscow. Now that's strange. They gave us champagne and concert tickets. Insisted we review the performance before negotiations." "What did you see?" Lucien asked. "Swan Lake. Adequate production. The principal dancer had weak arabesque but excellent grand jeté." "You
know
ballet?" "I
know
many things, Mr Moreau. Including why my sister came to you six weeks ago." She poured herself tea. Steady hands. "I also
know
why the Covenant wants her dead." "Your turn to share with the class," Rory said. "Margaret didn't just take their financial data. She took the Codex Malfectus." Lucien's teacup rattled against the saucer. "That's impossible." "What's the Codex Malfectus?" Rory asked. "The original treaty,"
Chen
explained. "Signed in blood and worse when the Covenant was founded. It binds them. Defines their laws. Their limitations. Without it..." "Without it, they're just another criminal organisation," Lucien finished. "No mystical authority. No protection from the powers they claim to serve." "Exactly. And my sister, brilliant fool that she is, walked out with it tucked under her arm like a library book." "How?" "Because she looks like an accountant. Because she's human. Because they never imagined someone like her could even touch it, let alone steal it." "But she did." "She did. And now everyone wants her dead. The Covenant because she has their holy grail. Various supernatural factions because without the treaty, old wars can resume. Even my own government would prefer she disappear quietly rather than upset the balance." "But not you," Rory said. "She's my sister. Half-sister. Whatever. Family's family."
Chen
set down her cup. "Which is why I need you to find her before anyone else does." "Why us?" "Because Mr Moreau is the only broker in London who told the Covenant no and lived. Because you, Ms Carter, found four missing persons everyone else gave up on. Because together, you have a chance." "We're not together," Rory said
quickly
. "No? Then why did you patch his wounds? Why did he come to you when injured? Why are you both here, risking everything for a woman you've never met?" "It's complicated." "Most important things are."
Chen
moved to a wall covered in maps and photos. "Margaret's smart. Too smart. She'll have gone to ground properly. New identity. New appearance. Somewhere nobody would think to look." "Any suggestions?" "Several." She tapped a photo. "She loved urban exploring as a student. Abandoned places. The forgotten corners of cities. If I had to guess, she's hiding in plain sight somewhere empty." "London's full of empty." "Yes. Which is why I need the best." She turned back to them. "Find my sister. Bring her home safe. I'll handle the Covenant." "How?" Lucien asked. "Above your pay grade." "We're not being paid." "Figure of speech." She checked her
watch
. "You have maybe twelve hours before they mobilise fully. After that, it's a
race
." "And if we refuse?" "Then my sister dies. The Covenant tears London apart looking for their Codex. War breaks out between factions. And you both end up collateral damage." She smiled thinly. "But sure. Refuse." "When you put it like that," Rory muttered. "I'm glad we understand each other."
Chen
gestured to the door. "Dave and Terry will drive you wherever you need to go. Try not to corrupt them further." "Ma'am, we're incorruptible," Dave protested. "Since when?" "Since you started signing our cheques." "Fair point. Go. Time's wasting." They were almost at the door when
Chen
called out. "Ms Carter? A
total_cost
0.68424
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
91
adverbTagCount
5
adverbTags
0
"He leaned back [back]"
1
"The director's composure cracked slightly [slightly]"
2
"Rory said quickly [quickly]"
3
"She turned back [back]"
4
"She smiled thinly [thinly]"
dialogueSentences
468
tagDensity
0.194
leniency
0.389
rawRatio
0.055
effectiveRatio
0.021
87.23%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
5090
totalAiIsmAdverbs
13
found
0
adverb
"carefully"
count
2
1
adverb
"very"
count
4
2
adverb
"completely"
count
1
3
adverb
"really"
count
2
4
adverb
"quickly"
count
2
5
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
6
adverb
"slightly"
count
1
highlights
0
"carefully"
1
"very"
2
"completely"
3
"really"
4
"quickly"
5
"slowly"
6
"slightly"
40.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
0
"Chen"
1
"Patel"
2
"Sarah"
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
75.44%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
5090
totalAiIsms
25
found
0
word
"silk"
count
1
1
word
"intensity"
count
1
2
word
"weight"
count
2
3
word
"measured"
count
1
4
word
"perfect"
count
2
5
word
"practiced ease"
count
1
6
word
"constructed"
count
1
7
word
"pristine"
count
1
8
word
"reminder"
count
1
9
word
"familiar"
count
3
10
word
"navigating"
count
1
11
word
"dance"
count
1
12
word
"shattered"
count
3
13
word
"crystal"
count
1
14
word
"scanning"
count
1
15
word
"stomach"
count
1
16
word
"absolutely"
count
1
17
word
"comfortable"
count
1
18
word
"race"
count
1
highlights
0
"silk"
1
"intensity"
2
"weight"
3
"measured"
4
"perfect"
5
"practiced ease"
6
"constructed"
7
"pristine"
8
"reminder"
9
"familiar"
10
"navigating"
11
"dance"
12
"shattered"
13
"crystal"
14
"scanning"
15
"stomach"
16
"absolutely"
17
"comfortable"
18
"race"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"stomach dropped/sank"
count
1
highlights
0
"stomach dropped"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
338
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
2
hedgeCount
0
narrationSentences
338
filterMatches
0
"know"
1
"watch"
hedgeMatches
(empty)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
714
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
41
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
5084
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
66
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
106
wordCount
2245
uniqueNames
30
maxNameDensity
1.43
worstName
"Lucien"
maxWindowNameDensity
5
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Moreau
3
Eva
3
Ptolemy
5
Lucien
32
Aurora
1
Rory
20
Covenant
3
London
3
Jealousy
1
Familiar
1
Golden
1
Empress
1
Saxon
1
Mistake
1
Margaret
1
Chen
8
Fair
1
Mercedes
1
Carter
1
Fresh
2
Russian
1
Detroit
1
English
1
Professional
2
Dave
2
Mayfair
1
Thames
1
Steady
1
Three
3
Click
3
persons
0
"Moreau"
1
"Eva"
2
"Ptolemy"
3
"Lucien"
4
"Rory"
5
"Covenant"
6
"Jealousy"
7
"Margaret"
8
"Chen"
9
"Carter"
10
"English"
11
"Dave"
12
"Steady"
places
0
"London"
1
"Golden"
2
"Fair"
3
"Detroit"
4
"Thames"
5
"Three"
globalScore
0.787
windowScore
0
42.64%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
163
glossingSentenceCount
7
matches
0
"smelled like bonfire night"
1
"te the pain it obviously caused"
2
"sounded like grinding stone"
3
"smelled like burnt sugar and bad decisions"
4
"smelled like leather and that damned colog"
5
"looked like it had died in the seventies"
6
"looked like she'd stepped from a boardroo"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
2
per1kWords
0.393
wordCount
5084
matches
0
"Not much, but some"
1
"Not hard, but enough to make her point"
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
1
totalSentences
714
matches
0
"chose that moment"
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
454
mean
11.2
std
10.75
cv
0.96
sampleLengths
0
6
1
35
2
7
3
39
4
3
5
17
6
23
7
2
8
7
9
4
10
37
11
4
12
50
13
3
14
16
15
10
16
1
17
42
18
3
19
12
20
32
21
37
22
19
23
3
24
8
25
4
26
4
27
14
28
2
29
8
30
2
31
39
32
6
33
23
34
2
35
20
36
2
37
27
38
30
39
6
40
3
41
3
42
3
43
21
44
2
45
2
46
14
47
3
48
10
49
38
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
4
totalSentences
338
matches
0
"was ruined"
1
"were led"
2
"were loaded"
3
"were led"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
1
totalVerbs
428
matches
0
"was trying"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
5
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
4
totalSentences
714
ratio
0.006
matches
0
"Those impossible eyes — one amber, one black — studying her with an intensity that made her skin prickle."
1
"\"Shut up.\" She grabbed the nearest weapon — Eva's authenticated Saxon sword letter opener."
2
"Lucien fought like he did everything else — with style and devastating efficiency."
3
"Professional courtesy — in front, not behind."
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
2248
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
77
adverbRatio
0.03425266903914591
lyAdverbCount
20
lyAdverbRatio
0.008896797153024912
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
714
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
714
mean
7.12
std
5.79
cv
0.814
sampleLengths
0
4
1
1
2
1
3
6
4
11
5
18
6
7
7
11
8
11
9
12
10
5
11
3
12
5
13
12
14
7
15
5
16
1
17
6
18
4
19
2
20
7
21
4
22
3
23
7
24
5
25
12
26
2
27
1
28
1
29
1
30
5
31
4
32
22
33
5
34
4
35
19
36
3
37
11
38
5
39
3
40
3
41
4
42
1
43
11
44
31
45
3
46
12
47
3
48
2
49
13
59.38%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
26
diversityRatio
0.37815126050420167
totalSentences
714
uniqueOpeners
270
99.88%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
8
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"Almost a smile."
1
"At least he was honest"
2
"Just letting her know who"
3
"Even bleeding, even hunted, Lucien"
4
"Of course it did."
5
"Too late, boys."
6
"At least he owned it."
7
"Somewhere industrial from the smell."
ratio
0.03
73.18%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
98
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"She hadn't heard it in"
1
"She pressed her forehead against"
2
"Her full name."
3
"He only used that when"
4
"Her fingers worked the locks"
5
"His mouth twitched."
6
"He shifted his weight, ivory-handled"
7
"He slipped past her, bringing"
8
"Her flat looked smaller with"
9
"He moved deeper into the"
10
"He paused by her bookshelf,"
11
"She followed his gaze to"
12
"His gift from their first"
13
"She grabbed the journal, shoving"
14
"He straightened, face carefully neutral"
15
"She grabbed his elbow, steering"
16
"His heterochromatic gaze tracked her"
17
"She dropped beside him, scissors"
18
"She cut away the bandage"
19
"He hissed as she cleaned"
ratio
0.367
53.63%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
217
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"The knock came twice."
1
"Rory's hand froze on the"
2
"Nobody knocked like that except"
3
"The voice hit her like"
4
"French accent wrapped around her"
5
"She hadn't heard it in"
6
"She pressed her forehead against"
7
"The wood was cool, solid."
8
"Her full name."
9
"He only used that when"
10
"Her fingers worked the locks"
11
"Each one a small betrayal."
12
"The door swung inward."
13
"Lucien Moreau stood in her"
14
"Charcoal suit cut to perfection."
15
"Platinum hair slicked back."
16
"Those impossible eyes — one"
17
"The words came out sharper"
18
"His mouth twitched."
19
"He shifted his weight, ivory-handled"
ratio
0.813
37.45%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
2
totalSentences
267
matches
0
"Even half-dead, Lucien Moreau moved"
1
"Even when it cost him."
ratio
0.007
79.83%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
68
technicalSentenceCount
6
matches
0
"Those impossible eyes — one amber, one black — studying her with an intensity that made her skin prickle."
1
"The kind of people who collected favours like stamps and called in debts with compound interest."
2
"How many times she'd patched him up in the early days, before she understood the cost of loving someone who traded in secrets."
3
"Buried under all the games and half-truths was a man who kept his promises."
4
"It shattered against creature two's head, releasing purple smoke that smelled like burnt sugar and bad decisions."
5
"He led her through London's maze of back streets, moving with the confidence of someone who'd spent years learning every shadow."
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
91
uselessAdditionCount
4
matches
0
"He moved, each step measured"
1
"He paused, fingers ghosting over the spines"
2
"He straightened, face carefully neutral"
3
"Lucien stood, cane spinning in his hand"
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
29
fancyCount
11
fancyTags
0
"He hissed (hiss)"
1
"Lucien murmured (murmur)"
2
"He pressed (press)"
3
"he agreed (agree)"
4
"she muttered (mutter)"
5
"Lucien observed (observe)"
6
"Dave added (add)"
7
"Chen repeated (repeat)"
8
"Chen explained (explain)"
9
"Rory muttered (mutter)"
10
"Dave protested (protest)"
dialogueSentences
468
tagDensity
0.062
leniency
0.124
rawRatio
0.379
effectiveRatio
0.047
84.9557%