Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY87V9AEGJTS16708CH8FJT

Run Details

Model:
Grok 4
Duration:
1m 22s
Cost:
$0.043311
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Detective Harlow Quinn descended the cracked stone steps into the abandoned Tube station beneath Camden, her boots echoing against the damp tiles. The air hung heavy with the scent of rust and mildew, laced with something sharper—ozone, like the aftermath of a lightning strike. She adjusted the worn leather watch on her left wrist, noting the time: 2:17 AM. Eighteen years on the force had taught her that crime didn't respect hours, but this call felt off from the start. An anonymous tip about a body in a derelict station? No uniforms on site yet, just a directive to meet a consultant. Her sharp jaw tightened as she gripped the bone token in her pocket—a smooth, ivory relic she'd confiscated from a suspect last month. She'd laughed it off then, but instinct told her it was the key to whatever waited below. The station's entrance was sealed with rusted chains, but as she slipped the token into a barely visible slot in the wall, the air shimmered. A veil parted, revealing a hidden archway that pulsed with faint, ethereal light. Quinn stepped through, her military bearing keeping her strides precise, even as a chill prickled her skin. This wasn't just an abandoned platform; it was a marketplace teeming with shadows. Stalls lined the tracks, draped in moth-eaten silks and flickering with bioluminescent jars. Vendors hawked wares that defied logic: vials of swirling smoke, stones that whispered secrets, amulets glowing with inner fire. The Veil Market, she'd heard whispers of it in interrogation rooms, a black market for the impossible. But seeing it? That twisted something in her gut. Uniformed officers—finally—milled about near a cluster of overturned crates, their flashlights cutting through the gloom. The body lay sprawled amid shattered glass and scattered herbs, a middle-aged man in a threadbare coat, his eyes wide in frozen shock. No visible wounds, but his skin bore an unnatural pallor, veins etched in faint, silvery lines like cracks in porcelain. Quinn knelt, her brown eyes scanning the scene with the precision of a scalpel. Blood pooled minimally under his head, but the angle suggested a fall, not a strike. Around him, the air hummed faintly, as if the market itself breathed. "Detective Quinn," a voice called, soft but steady. Quinn looked up to see a young woman approaching, curly red hair tumbling over her shoulders, round glasses perched on a freckled nose. She carried a worn leather satchel slung across her chest, bulging with books. Eva Kowalski, the consultant. Quinn had skimmed her file: research assistant at the British Museum, master's in Ancient History from Oxford. What the hell was she doing here? "Eva Kowalski," Quinn said, rising to her full 5'9" height. "You the one who called this in?" Eva tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear, a nervous tic that didn't escape Quinn's notice. "Not exactly. I was... browsing when I found him. The market's wardens alerted your people—discreetly, I assume. I'm here because the museum sometimes consults on artifacts that turn up in places like this." Quinn's gaze narrowed. Browsing? In a supernatural flea market? She filed that away. "Alright, walk me through it. What am I looking at?" Eva adjusted her glasses, glancing around as if the shadows might eavesdrop. "His name was Elias Thorne. A dealer in enchanted relics. I recognized him from the archives—he's supplied the museum with a few pieces over the years. Looks like he was haggling over something when it went wrong." She pointed to the scattered herbs: wolfsbane, mandrake root, and what looked like dried nightshade. "These aren't random. They're components for a binding ritual. And see that residue on his hands? It's ectoplasm—residue from a spectral encounter." Quinn snorted, crossing her arms. "Ectoplasm? You're kidding. This is a crime scene, not a ghost story. Forensics will say he OD'd on whatever black-market junk he's peddling. Look at the bruising—consistent with a seizure or heart failure. And that blood? Head trauma from falling against those crates." But even as she spoke, doubt gnawed at her. The blood didn't splatter right; it formed a perfect circle, as if contained by an invisible barrier. And the air—why did it feel charged, like static before a storm? Quinn's mind flashed to three years ago, DS Morris crumpling in that warehouse, no wounds, just those same silvery veins spidering across his skin. Unexplained, the coroner had ruled. But Quinn knew better. Something unnatural had taken him, and she'd buried it deep, chasing leads that led nowhere. Eva shook her head, her green eyes earnest. "Detective, I've studied this. The Veil Market isn't just a bazaar; it's a nexus point. Rifts open here, portals to other realms. Thorne was carrying this." She pulled a small brass compass from her satchel, its casing patinated with verdigris, the face etched with twisting sigils. The needle quivered, not toward north, but toward a shadowed alcove behind the stalls. "A Veil Compass. It points to supernatural rifts. He must have been using it to track something—a portal, maybe. But look: the needle's stuck, like it's overloaded." Quinn took the compass, her fingers brushing the cool metal. It thrummed in her palm, the needle jerking erratically before settling on the alcove. "Stuck, huh? Or tampered with." She pocketed it for now—evidence—and turned back to the body. The silvery veins on Thorne's skin weren't random; they formed patterns, like runes. She knelt again, pulling on gloves, and gently turned his wrist. No watch, but a faint imprint where one had been. Robbery? But his pockets were untouched, wallet intact. "See?" Eva pressed, stepping closer. "This isn't a mugging. It's a rift breach. Something came through—a shade, perhaps, or a wraith. They feed on life force, leaving marks like these. The herbs were probably his attempt at protection, but it backfired." Quinn stood, her salt-and-pepper hair catching the dim light from a nearby lantern. "Or someone staged it to look that way. Poison could mimic those veins—some neurotoxin. And this market? Perfect cover for smuggling. Thorne crosses the wrong dealer, they slip him something, make it look occult to throw us off." But her words rang hollow. The herbs weren't scattered chaotically; they outlined a sigil on the ground, matching the ones on the compass. And that hum in the air—it grew stronger near the alcove. She moved toward it, Eva trailing behind. The alcove was a forgotten maintenance door, half-ajar, leading to a narrow tunnel. Inside, the walls glistened with moisture, and the compass needle spun wildly in Quinn's hand. "Stay back," she ordered, but Eva ignored her, peering over her shoulder. "Detective, please. I've read about this. The market moves every full moon to avoid detection, but rifts can destabilize it. If Thorne opened one accidentally—" "Quiet." Quinn's voice was a whipcrack. She spotted footprints in the dust—two sets. One matched Thorne's boots, the other smaller, feminine. And there, wedged in a crack: a single curly red hair. Her gaze snapped to Eva, who tucked another strand behind her ear. Eva's freckled cheeks paled. "What? I wasn't in here. I found him out there." Quinn's mind raced. The hair could be coincidental, but the footprints led deeper, toward a faint glow at the tunnel's end. She advanced, the compass vibrating now, its sigils warming under her touch. The glow resolved into a shimmering rift—a tear in the air, like heat haze over pavement, but edged in frost. Whispers emanated from it, unintelligible but insistent. Memories surged: Morris, investigating a string of disappearances, muttering about "portals" before that final raid. He'd laughed it off as superstition, but Quinn had seen the fear in his eyes. And now, this. The evidence didn't add up because it wasn't meant to—not in the mundane world. Thorne hadn't fallen; he'd been pulled through something. But by what? Or who? "Eva," Quinn said slowly, turning to face her. "You said you were browsing. For what?" Eva hesitated, her hand drifting to her satchel. "Research. The museum sent me for a relic—a shadow compass, actually. Like this one. Thorne was my contact." Quinn's jaw sharpened. "And now he's dead, and you have it." She glanced at the rift, the compass needle pointing straight into it. The silvery veins on Thorne—they matched the sigils here, as if the rift had branded him. Not poison, not a seizure. Something had reached out, drained him, and retreated. But the footprints suggested someone had lured him in. A deduction clicked: the hair wasn't Eva's alone. Another set of prints overlapped, faint but deliberate. Quinn shone her flashlight, revealing a scuff mark—a heel drag, as if Thorne had resisted. And there, half-buried in grime: a bone token, identical to her own, but cracked. Someone else had access. "You're right about one thing," Quinn admitted, her voice low. "This isn't natural. But it's not just a rift accident. Someone orchestrated this—used the compass to bait him, opened the portal, let whatever's inside do the work." She met Eva's eyes, seeing the flicker of unease. Was Eva involved? Or was she a pawn, like Morris had been? Eva swallowed. "Then we need to seal it. Before it claims more." Quinn nodded, but her hand rested on her holster. The market's hum intensified, shadows lengthening. For the first time since Morris's death, she felt the veil thinning—not just here, but in her own understanding. The clique she'd suspected, the whispers of criminal activity laced with the impossible—it all converged. Thorne's death was a thread, and pulling it might unravel everything. As uniforms finally breached the alcove, Quinn pocketed the compass again, its needle steady now, pointing not to the rift, but outward—toward the market's heart. More to uncover. The evidence didn't add up because the world didn't. But she would make it. The rift pulsed once, a whisper escaping: "Quinn..." Her name? No, impossible. But the chill down her spine said otherwise. She straightened, military precision masking the tremor in her hands. This wasn't over. Far from it.
created_at"2026-02-20T19:25:46.677Z" 2/20/2026, 7:25:46 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4-07-09" 4/7/2009, 12:00:00 AM
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency11822
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time81487
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion2599
native_tokens_prompt1492
native_tokens_completion2691
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning480
native_tokens_cached680
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.043311
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"d40bef9d-6936-4c57-9749-bf7399de4a77"
id"d7387b01-e08b-6b42-1460-56db963c9d42"
is_byokfalse
latency413
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4-07-09" 4/7/2009, 12:00:00 AM
provider_name"xAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771615546-pZHkZYJyHLdBHlrDOsbE"
upstream_id"d7387b01-e08b-6b42-1460-56db963c9d42"
total_cost0.043311
cache_discount0.00153
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags29
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Quinn said slowly [slowly]"
dialogueSentences37
tagDensity0.784
leniency1
rawRatio0.034
effectiveRatio0.034
94.09% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1693
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"gently"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"gently"
1"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
23.21% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1693
totalAiIsms26
found
0
word"echoing"
count1
1
word"aftermath"
count1
2
word"shimmered"
count1
3
word"pulsed"
count2
4
word"chill"
count2
5
word"gloom"
count1
6
word"shattered"
count1
7
word"etched"
count2
8
word"porcelain"
count1
9
word"scanning"
count1
10
word"spectral"
count1
11
word"encounter"
count1
12
word"perfect"
count2
13
word"charged"
count1
14
word"quivered"
count1
15
word"raced"
count1
16
word"resolved"
count1
17
word"flicker"
count1
18
word"pawn"
count1
19
word"unravel"
count1
20
word"whisper"
count1
21
word"down her spine"
count1
highlights
0"echoing"
1"aftermath"
2"shimmered"
3"pulsed"
4"chill"
5"gloom"
6"shattered"
7"etched"
8"porcelain"
9"scanning"
10"spectral"
11"encounter"
12"perfect"
13"charged"
14"quivered"
15"raced"
16"resolved"
17"flicker"
18"pawn"
19"unravel"
20"whisper"
21"down her spine"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences97
matches(empty)
83.95% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences97
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"notice"
2"feel"
3"look"
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences98
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen87
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1661
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions15
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions62
wordCount1410
uniqueNames16
maxNameDensity1.63
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Harlow1
Quinn23
Tube1
Camden1
Veil3
Market2
Kowalski1
British1
Museum1
Ancient1
History1
Oxford1
Eva12
Morris3
Compass1
Thorne9
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Veil"
3"Kowalski"
4"Museum"
5"Eva"
6"Morris"
7"Compass"
8"Thorne"
places
0"British"
1"Ancient"
2"Oxford"
globalScore0.684
windowScore0.667
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences69
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
19.39% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.806
wordCount1661
matches
0"not toward north, but toward a shadowed alcove behind the stalls"
1"not just here, but in her own understanding"
2"not to the rift, but outward"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences98
matches
0"see that residue"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs29
mean57.28
std32.3
cv0.564
sampleLengths
0142
1126
299
372
417
551
623
786
848
986
1095
1181
1241
1385
1447
1525
1644
1714
1860
1960
2015
2126
2261
2349
2458
2512
2660
2742
2836
98.03% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences97
matches
0"was sealed"
1"been pulled"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs266
matches
0"was haggling"
1"was carrying"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount22
semicolonCount6
flaggedSentences24
totalSentences98
ratio0.245
matches
0"The air hung heavy with the scent of rust and mildew, laced with something sharper—ozone, like the aftermath of a lightning strike."
1"Her sharp jaw tightened as she gripped the bone token in her pocket—a smooth, ivory relic she'd confiscated from a suspect last month."
2"This wasn't just an abandoned platform; it was a marketplace teeming with shadows."
3"Uniformed officers—finally—milled about near a cluster of overturned crates, their flashlights cutting through the gloom."
4"The market's wardens alerted your people—discreetly, I assume."
5"I recognized him from the archives—he's supplied the museum with a few pieces over the years."
6"It's ectoplasm—residue from a spectral encounter.\""
7"Look at the bruising—consistent with a seizure or heart failure."
8"But even as she spoke, doubt gnawed at her. The blood didn't splatter right; it formed a perfect circle, as if contained by an invisible barrier. And the air—why did it feel charged, like static before a storm? Quinn's mind flashed to three years ago, DS Morris crumpling in that warehouse, no wounds, just those same silvery veins spidering across his skin. Unexplained, the coroner had ruled. But Quinn knew better. Something unnatural had taken him, and she'd buried it deep, chasing leads that led nowhere."
9"The Veil Market isn't just a bazaar; it's a nexus point."
10"He must have been using it to track something—a portal, maybe."
11"Or tampered with.\" She pocketed it for now—evidence—and turned back to the body. The silvery veins on Thorne's skin weren't random; they formed patterns, like runes. She knelt again, pulling on gloves, and gently turned his wrist. No watch, but a faint imprint where one had been. Robbery? But his pockets were untouched, wallet intact."
12"Something came through—a shade, perhaps, or a wraith."
13"Poison could mimic those veins—some neurotoxin."
14"Thorne crosses the wrong dealer, they slip him something, make it look occult to throw us off.\" But her words rang hollow. The herbs weren't scattered chaotically; they outlined a sigil on the ground, matching the ones on the compass. And that hum in the air—it grew stronger near the alcove."
15"\"Quiet.\" Quinn's voice was a whipcrack. She spotted footprints in the dust—two sets. One matched Thorne's boots, the other smaller, feminine. And there, wedged in a crack: a single curly red hair. Her gaze snapped to Eva, who tucked another strand behind her ear."
16"Quinn's mind raced. The hair could be coincidental, but the footprints led deeper, toward a faint glow at the tunnel's end. She advanced, the compass vibrating now, its sigils warming under her touch. The glow resolved into a shimmering rift—a tear in the air, like heat haze over pavement, but edged in frost. Whispers emanated from it, unintelligible but insistent."
17"Memories surged: Morris, investigating a string of disappearances, muttering about \"portals\" before that final raid. He'd laughed it off as superstition, but Quinn had seen the fear in his eyes. And now, this. The evidence didn't add up because it wasn't meant to—not in the mundane world. Thorne hadn't fallen; he'd been pulled through something. But by what? Or who?"
18"The museum sent me for a relic—a shadow compass, actually."
19"Quinn's jaw sharpened. \"And now he's dead, and you have it.\" She glanced at the rift, the compass needle pointing straight into it. The silvery veins on Thorne—they matched the sigils here, as if the rift had branded him. Not poison, not a seizure. Something had reached out, drained him, and retreated. But the footprints suggested someone had lured him in."
20"A deduction clicked: the hair wasn't Eva's alone. Another set of prints overlapped, faint but deliberate. Quinn shone her flashlight, revealing a scuff mark—a heel drag, as if Thorne had resisted. And there, half-buried in grime: a bone token, identical to her own, but cracked. Someone else had access."
21"Someone orchestrated this—used the compass to bait him, opened the portal, let whatever's inside do the work.\" She met Eva's eyes, seeing the flicker of unease. Was Eva involved? Or was she a pawn, like Morris had been?"
22"Quinn nodded, but her hand rested on her holster. The market's hum intensified, shadows lengthening. For the first time since Morris's death, she felt the veil thinning—not just here, but in her own understanding. The clique she'd suspected, the whispers of criminal activity laced with the impossible—it all converged. Thorne's death was a thread, and pulling it might unravel everything."
23"As uniforms finally breached the alcove, Quinn pocketed the compass again, its needle steady now, pointing not to the rift, but outward—toward the market's heart. More to uncover. The evidence didn't add up because the world didn't. But she would make it."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount815
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount18
adverbRatio0.022085889570552148
lyAdverbCount9
lyAdverbRatio0.011042944785276074
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences98
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences98
mean16.95
std16.33
cv0.964
sampleLengths
022
122
215
321
410
512
623
717
825
913
1017
1113
1213
1319
1417
153
166
1715
1823
1920
2014
2115
2212
238
2423
2513
264
2717
287
2917
3020
312
325
338
3416
3518
365
3717
385
3916
4029
416
427
436
446
452
469
4711
4810
493
74.49% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats2
diversityRatio0.45918367346938777
totalSentences98
uniqueOpeners45
0.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount0
totalSentences92
matches(empty)
ratio0
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount16
totalSentences92
matches
0"She adjusted the worn leather"
1"Her sharp jaw tightened as"
2"She'd laughed it off then,"
3"She carried a worn leather"
4"I'm here because the museum"
5"I recognized him from the"
6"They're components for a binding"
7"It's ectoplasm—residue from a spectral"
8"It points to supernatural rifts."
9"He must have been using"
10"It's a rift breach."
11"They feed on life force,"
12"She moved toward it, Eva"
13"I've read about this."
14"I wasn't in here."
15"I found him out"
ratio0.174
74.13% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount71
totalSentences92
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn descended the"
1"The air hung heavy with"
2"She adjusted the worn leather"
3"An anonymous tip about a"
4"Her sharp jaw tightened as"
5"She'd laughed it off then,"
6"The station's entrance was sealed"
7"A veil parted, revealing a"
8"Quinn stepped through, her military"
9"This wasn't just an abandoned"
10"Stalls lined the tracks, draped"
11"Vendors hawked wares that defied"
12"The Veil Market, she'd heard"
13"That twisted something in her"
14"The body lay sprawled amid"
15"Quinn knelt, her brown eyes"
16"Blood pooled minimally under his"
17"a voice called, soft but"
18"Quinn looked up to see"
19"She carried a worn leather"
ratio0.772
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences92
matches
0"If Thorne opened one"
1"Before it claims"
ratio0.022
63.49% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences36
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"Vendors hawked wares that defied logic: vials of swirling smoke, stones that whispered secrets, amulets glowing with inner fire."
1"But even as she spoke, doubt gnawed at her. The blood didn't splatter right; it formed a perfect circle, as if contained by an invisible barrier. And the air—wh…"
2"Quinn's mind raced. The hair could be coincidental, but the footprints led deeper, toward a faint glow at the tunnel's end. She advanced, the compass vibrating …"
3"A deduction clicked: the hair wasn't Eva's alone. Another set of prints overlapped, faint but deliberate. Quinn shone her flashlight, revealing a scuff mark—a h…"
13.89% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags18
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"a voice called, soft but steady"
1"Quinn said slowly, turning to face her"
2"She glanced, the compass needle pointing straight into it"
3"Quinn admitted, her voice low"
68.92% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags6
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Eva pressed (press)"
1"Quinn admitted (admit)"
2"it claims (claim)"
dialogueSentences37
tagDensity0.162
leniency0.324
rawRatio0.5
effectiveRatio0.162
79.3418%