Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY9NDZWS2TGBPKNDDXM0EZY

Run Details

Duration:
37.3s
Cost:
$0.001765
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Detective Harlow Quinn descended the rusted staircase into the bowels of the abandoned Tube station beneath Camden, her worn leather watch ticking steadily against her left wrist like a metronome counting down to some inevitable revelation. The air grew thick with the scent of damp stone and something sharper—ozone, perhaps, or the faint metallic tang of blood masked by cheaper incense. Her closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair clung to her scalp in the humid chill, and she adjusted her coat with military precision, flashlight beam slicing through the gloom. Eighteen years on the force had taught her to trust her gut over the brass's assurances, and tonight, her gut twisted like a knife in a fresh wound. The tip had come anonymously: a body in the Veil Market, the underground bazaar that slithered through London's forgotten veins. She'd palmed a bone token years ago, scavenged from a bust gone sideways, and it had granted her entry more than once. The market moved with the full moon, a nomadic beast of enchanted trinkets and whispered deals, but this station—its tiled walls cracked and weeping moisture—had been its latest haunt. Uniforms wouldn't touch it without a warrant that danced around the supernatural, so Harlow had come alone at first, until the call from dispatch mentioned a consultant already on scene. She pushed through a makeshift curtain of tattered black fabric, embroidered with sigils that seemed to writhe under her light. The market sprawled before her: stalls cobbled from shipping crates and salvaged iron, lit by flickering gas lamps that cast long shadows over shelves groaning with vials of shimmering liquids, amulets pulsing faintly, and tomes bound in leather that didn't come from cows. The usual murmur of haggling voices had fallen silent, replaced by the low buzz of police radios echoing off the vaulted ceiling. A cordon of yellow tape fluttered like dying moths around a central stall, where a cluster of figures huddled. "Detective Quinn," a uniformed sergeant called, snapping to attention as she approached. His face was pale, eyes darting to the shadows. "We secured the perimeter topside, but down here... it's like stepping into a bloody fairy tale." Harlow nodded curtly, her sharp jaw set against the unease rippling through the air. "Body?" "Vendor. Male, mid-forties. Name's Elias Crowe—deals in... artifacts." The sergeant gestured vaguely, as if naming them might summon something. "Looks like a mugging gone south. Purse strings slashed, stall ransacked. No weapon recovered." She ducked under the tape, boots crunching on shattered glass from a toppled display of crystal orbs. The victim lay sprawled amid the debris, his body twisted at an unnatural angle, throat slit clean but shallow—no arterial spray, just a thin line of congealed blood that gleamed black in the lamplight. His fingers clutched a small brass compass, its casing etched with protective sigils and patinaed with verdigris. The needle quivered, not spinning wildly as it should in this nexus of supernatural energy, but pointing fixedly toward the far wall, where shadows pooled deeper than they had any right to. Harlow crouched, gloved hand hovering over the corpse. No defensive wounds. No signs of struggle beyond the overturned crates. The evidence screamed robbery: empty lockbox nearby, its enchanted wards—faint runes that had glowed blue when intact—now dulled to gray. But something gnawed at her. The cut was too precise, surgical almost, without the hesitation marks of panic. And the air around the body hummed, a vibration she felt in her teeth, like the aftermath of her partner's unexplained death three years back. DS Morris, vanished into thin air during a raid that reeked of the uncanny. She'd buried the report, but the doubts festered. "Quinn!" A familiar voice cut through the tension, laced with that Oxford lilt. Eva Kowalski pushed through the cordon, her curly red hair a wild halo under the dim lights, round glasses perched on her freckled nose. She clutched a worn leather satchel bulging with books, slinging it higher on her shoulder as she tucked a stray curl behind her left ear—a nervous tic Harlow had noted during their one prior consultation at the Met. Eva, the occult researcher from the British Museum's restricted archives, Aurora's childhood shadow. Harlow's instincts prickled; the woman had ties to the very clique she suspected of skirting the law's edges. "Eva," Harlow said, rising slowly, her brown eyes locking onto the younger woman's green ones. "What brings the museum's ghost hunter to my crime scene?" Eva's cheeks flushed, but she met the gaze steadily. "Elias was a contact. Supplied artifacts for our exhibits—legitimate ones, mind you. I was cataloging a shipment when the call came in. Thought I could help interpret." She glanced at the body, lips pressing thin. "This isn't a mugging, Detective. Look at the sigils on that lockbox—they're warded against theft, tied to blood magic. Someone bypassed them without breaking a sweat. I'd wager it's a curse backlash. Rival dealer, maybe from the Shade enclaves. They don't leave bodies; they leave warnings." Harlow's bearing stiffened, military precision in every line of her 5'9" frame. A curse. Of course Eva would leap to the ethereal. The researcher had a master's in Ancient History, buried in dusty tomes that blurred the line between myth and malice. But Harlow dealt in facts, in the grit under fingernails and the angle of a wound. "Evidence first, Kowalski. No residue of magic— no scorch marks, no etheric burn. Just a dead man and a looted stall." Eva knelt beside her, pulling a small notebook from her satchel, scribbling notes with a pencil she chewed absently. "That's the point. Supernatural hits clean. Elias dabbled in rift-touched goods—portals, compasses like that one." She nodded at the brass device in the victim's rigid grip. "The Veil Compass. Attuned to supernatural rifts. If it's pointing there..." She trailed off, following the needle's direction to the shadowed wall, where the tiles seemed to buckle inward, as if breathing. Harlow followed her gaze, flashlight beam probing the anomaly. The wall wasn't right. Cracks spiderwebbed across it, but they pulsed faintly, edges shimmering like heat haze over asphalt. She stepped closer, ignoring the sergeant's warning mutter. Her free hand brushed the rough surface—cold, but with an undercurrent of warmth, like touching a fevered vein. Dust motes danced unnaturally in the beam, swirling toward the fissures. No, not dust. Residue. Fine, iridescent particles that clung to her glove, sparkling like ground opal. "Bag this," she ordered the forensics tech hovering nearby, holding out the glove. Then, to Eva: "You said portals. Rifts." Eva nodded, tucking hair behind her ear again, her freckles stark against paling skin. "The Veil Market sits on ley lines—thin spots between worlds. A rift could open right here, let someone slip in, slit his throat, and vanish with the goods. No forced entry, no exit trail. That's why the compass is locked on it. Elias must've sensed the breach." Harlow's mind raced, piecing the fragments. The wound: precise, from a blade that entered and exited without drag—impossible for a human arm's arc in that confined space. The ransacked stall: items scattered, but the high-value ones gone, as if the thief knew exactly where to reach without toppling the rest. And the compass—crafted by a Shade artisan, its needle not just pointing, but trembling, as if straining against an invisible tether. She'd seen something similar in Morris's file: a warehouse raid where shadows had swallowed evidence whole. But Eva's interpretation rang half-true, too pat. Curses and rivals smacked of the clique's world—Aurora's world, the one Harlow had been circling for months. No, this was deliberate misdirection. She scanned the body again, noting the clutched compass. Elias's knuckles were bruised, not from fighting, but from gripping hard—defensively? No. Desperately holding on. "Check his other hand," Harlow said sharply. The tech complied, prying open stiff fingers to reveal a sliver of something metallic embedded in the palm—a shard, etched with a sigil matching the compass's face. Not a weapon fragment. A key? Or a ward breaker. Eva leaned in, eyes widening behind her glasses. "That's a rift anchor. Used to stabilize a portal. But if he was holding it..." "He wasn't the victim," Harlow murmured, the pieces snapping into place. "He was the accomplice. The compass isn't pointing to the escape route—it's pointing to where the killer is now. The rift didn't close properly. Elias tried to anchor it shut, but they turned on him. Slit his throat to silence him." The sergeant whistled low. "So the thief's still down here?" "Or through there." Harlow jerked her chin at the wall. The shimmering intensified, a low hum building like distant thunder. She holstered her flashlight, drawing her sidearm with practiced ease. "Kowalski, you know this market better than my maps. Any back ways out if the rift spits them back?" Eva hesitated, satchel thumping against her hip as she stood. "The tunnels fork—old service lines to the Thames. But if it's a Shade..." "Shades bleed same as us," Harlow cut in, though doubt flickered. Her partner's file whispered otherwise: shadows that didn't die, explanations that unraveled under scrutiny. But she pushed it down, focusing on the now. The evidence didn't add up to a clean supernatural hit or a sloppy robbery—it pointed to collusion, a deal soured in the dark. And the killer, whoever they were, had left a trail only she could see: the compass's defiant needle, the anchor shard, the wall that breathed. She signaled the team. "Fan out. Secure that wall—barriers, lights, the works. Kowalski, you're with me. If your rifts are real, prove it." Eva swallowed, nodding, her nervous habit forgotten in the surge of adrenaline. Together, they advanced on the anomaly, the market's shadows closing in like conspirators. Harlow's watch ticked on, marking time in a place where clocks meant nothing. Whatever waited beyond that crack, it wouldn't catch her off guard again. Not like Morris. Not tonight. The wall yielded under her push—not stone, but membrane, rippling like water as her hand sank through. Cold fire raced up her arm, visions flickering: a figure cloaked in darkness, clutching a satchel of glowing vials, vanishing into a maw of swirling ether. The killer. And behind them, a trail of the looted artifacts, pulsing with stolen power. "Got you," Harlow whispered, stepping through. The market's hum swallowed her whole, but her mind sharpened, deductions crystallizing. The colleague's occult lens had cracked the door, but Harlow's precision would kick it wide. In the mystery's heart, truth waited, sharp as the blade that had claimed Elias Crowe.
created_at"2026-02-20T19:50:40.393Z" 2/20/2026, 7:50:40 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency11704
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time37049
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion2785
native_tokens_prompt963
native_tokens_completion3191
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning871
native_tokens_cached151
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.00176545
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"c9586d9d-97ff-40ca-ae94-22504d6f9b7e"
id"698ad74f-f756-5b18-5b2c-8db033e2c94d"
is_byokfalse
latency83
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771617040-VLTp2b2TwDIJB9my263S"
upstream_id"698ad74f-f756-5b18-5b2c-8db033e2c94d"
total_cost0.00176545
cache_discount0.00002265
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags20
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"The sergeant gestured vaguely [vaguely]"
1"Harlow said sharply. [sharply]"
dialogueSentences33
tagDensity0.606
leniency1
rawRatio0.1
effectiveRatio0.1
91.60% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1785
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"very"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"sharply"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"slowly"
2"sharply"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
32.77% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1785
totalAiIsms24
found
0
word"chill"
count1
1
word"gloom"
count1
2
word"echoing"
count1
3
word"fluttered"
count1
4
word"shattered"
count1
5
word"crystal"
count1
6
word"etched"
count2
7
word"quivered"
count1
8
word"aftermath"
count1
9
word"uncanny"
count1
10
word"familiar"
count1
11
word"tension"
count1
12
word"lilt"
count1
13
word"pulsed"
count1
14
word"warmth"
count1
15
word"stark"
count1
16
word"raced"
count2
17
word"scanned"
count1
18
word"silence"
count1
19
word"practiced ease"
count1
20
word"flickered"
count1
21
word"maw"
count1
highlights
0"chill"
1"gloom"
2"echoing"
3"fluttered"
4"shattered"
5"crystal"
6"etched"
7"quivered"
8"aftermath"
9"uncanny"
10"familiar"
11"tension"
12"lilt"
13"pulsed"
14"warmth"
15"stark"
16"raced"
17"scanned"
18"silence"
19"practiced ease"
20"flickered"
21"maw"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences76
matches(empty)
67.67% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences76
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences82
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen90
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1756
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions16
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions55
wordCount1469
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity1.23
worstName"Harlow"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Harlow"
discoveredNames
Harlow18
Quinn1
Tube1
Camden1
Veil2
Market1
London1
Morris3
Oxford1
Eva10
Kowalski3
Met1
British1
Museum1
Aurora2
Compass1
Shade1
Elias5
Crowe1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Market"
3"Morris"
4"Eva"
5"Kowalski"
6"Museum"
7"Aurora"
8"Compass"
9"Elias"
10"Crowe"
places
0"Veil"
1"London"
2"Oxford"
3"Met"
4"British"
globalScore0.887
windowScore0.833
29.03% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences62
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"sigils that seemed to writhe under her light"
1"as if naming them might summon something"
2"as if straining against an invisible tether"
0.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords2.278
wordCount1756
matches
0"not spinning wildly as it should in this nexus of supernatural energy, but pointing fixedly toward the far wall"
1"not just pointing, but trembling, as if straining against an invisible tether"
2"not from fighting, but from gripping hard"
3"not stone, but membrane, rippling like water as her hand sank through"
85.37% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences82
matches
0"like that Veil"
1"Secure that wall—"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs29
mean60.55
std31.61
cv0.522
sampleLengths
0116
1101
2104
337
415
533
6100
7104
8106
925
1090
1179
1277
1381
1420
1561
1687
1753
1844
1923
2052
2110
2249
2323
2482
2523
2655
2758
2848
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences76
matches
0"is locked"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs277
matches
0"was holding"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount19
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences17
totalSentences82
ratio0.207
matches
0"The air grew thick with the scent of damp stone and something sharper—ozone, perhaps, or the faint metallic tang of blood masked by cheaper incense."
1"The market moved with the full moon, a nomadic beast of enchanted trinkets and whispered deals, but this station—its tiled walls cracked and weeping moisture—had been its latest haunt."
2"The victim lay sprawled amid the debris, his body twisted at an unnatural angle, throat slit clean but shallow—no arterial spray, just a thin line of congealed blood that gleamed black in the lamplight."
3"The evidence screamed robbery: empty lockbox nearby, its enchanted wards—faint runes that had glowed blue when intact—now dulled to gray."
4"She clutched a worn leather satchel bulging with books, slinging it higher on her shoulder as she tucked a stray curl behind her left ear—a nervous tic Harlow had noted during their one prior consultation at the Met."
5"Harlow's instincts prickled; the woman had ties to the very clique she suspected of skirting the law's edges."
6"\"This isn't a mugging, Detective. Look at the sigils on that lockbox—they're warded against theft, tied to blood magic. Someone bypassed them without breaking a sweat. I'd wager it's a curse backlash. Rival dealer, maybe from the Shade enclaves. They don't leave bodies; they leave warnings.\""
7"No residue of magic— no scorch marks, no etheric burn."
8"Elias dabbled in rift-touched goods—portals, compasses like that one.\" She nodded at the brass device in the victim's rigid grip. \"The Veil Compass."
9"Harlow followed her gaze, flashlight beam probing the anomaly. The wall wasn't right. Cracks spiderwebbed across it, but they pulsed faintly, edges shimmering like heat haze over asphalt. She stepped closer, ignoring the sergeant's warning mutter. Her free hand brushed the rough surface—cold, but with an undercurrent of warmth, like touching a fevered vein. Dust motes danced unnaturally in the beam, swirling toward the fissures. No, not dust. Residue. Fine, iridescent particles that clung to her glove, sparkling like ground opal."
10"Harlow's mind raced, piecing the fragments. The wound: precise, from a blade that entered and exited without drag—impossible for a human arm's arc in that confined space. The ransacked stall: items scattered, but the high-value ones gone, as if the thief knew exactly where to reach without toppling the rest. And the compass—crafted by a Shade artisan, its needle not just pointing, but trembling, as if straining against an invisible tether. She'd seen something similar in Morris's file: a warehouse raid where shadows had swallowed evidence whole."
11"But Eva's interpretation rang half-true, too pat. Curses and rivals smacked of the clique's world—Aurora's world, the one Harlow had been circling for months. No, this was deliberate misdirection. She scanned the body again, noting the clutched compass. Elias's knuckles were bruised, not from fighting, but from gripping hard—defensively? No. Desperately holding on."
12"\"Check his other hand,\" Harlow said sharply. The tech complied, prying open stiff fingers to reveal a sliver of something metallic embedded in the palm—a shard, etched with a sigil matching the compass's face. Not a weapon fragment. A key? Or a ward breaker."
13"The compass isn't pointing to the escape route—it's pointing to where the killer is now."
14"\"Shades bleed same as us,\" Harlow cut in, though doubt flickered. Her partner's file whispered otherwise: shadows that didn't die, explanations that unraveled under scrutiny. But she pushed it down, focusing on the now. The evidence didn't add up to a clean supernatural hit or a sloppy robbery—it pointed to collusion, a deal soured in the dark. And the killer, whoever they were, had left a trail only she could see: the compass's defiant needle, the anchor shard, the wall that breathed."
15"Secure that wall—barriers, lights, the works."
16"The wall yielded under her push—not stone, but membrane, rippling like water as her hand sank through. Cold fire raced up her arm, visions flickering: a figure cloaked in darkness, clutching a satchel of glowing vials, vanishing into a maw of swirling ether. The killer. And behind them, a trail of the looted artifacts, pulsing with stolen power."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount927
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount24
adverbRatio0.025889967637540454
lyAdverbCount12
lyAdverbRatio0.012944983818770227
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences82
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences82
mean21.41
std18.43
cv0.861
sampleLengths
036
125
227
328
420
522
629
730
820
943
1022
1119
1212
139
1416
1514
161
1719
1814
1917
2034
2117
2232
238
243
258
2620
275
2813
2925
3014
318
3213
3324
3438
3513
3618
3715
3810
399
4035
4146
4261
4310
448
4522
463
4723
484
4925
75.61% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats3
diversityRatio0.47560975609756095
totalSentences82
uniqueOpeners39
43.86% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences76
matches
0"Just a dead man and"
ratio0.013
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount11
totalSentences76
matches
0"Her closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair"
1"She'd palmed a bone token"
2"She pushed through a makeshift"
3"His face was pale, eyes"
4"She ducked under the tape,"
5"His fingers clutched a small"
6"She'd buried the report, but"
7"She clutched a worn leather"
8"She glanced at the body,"
9"she ordered the forensics tech"
10"She signaled the team."
ratio0.145
78.42% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount58
totalSentences76
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn descended the"
1"The air grew thick with"
2"Her closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair"
3"The tip had come anonymously:"
4"She'd palmed a bone token"
5"The market moved with the"
6"Uniforms wouldn't touch it without"
7"She pushed through a makeshift"
8"The market sprawled before her:"
9"The usual murmur of haggling"
10"A cordon of yellow tape"
11"a uniformed sergeant called, snapping"
12"His face was pale, eyes"
13"Harlow nodded curtly, her sharp"
14"The sergeant gestured vaguely, as"
15"She ducked under the tape,"
16"The victim lay sprawled amid"
17"His fingers clutched a small"
18"The needle quivered, not spinning"
19"Harlow crouched, gloved hand hovering"
ratio0.763
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences76
matches
0"If it's pointing"
1"If your rifts are real,"
ratio0.026
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences34
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"The tip had come anonymously: a body in the Veil Market, the underground bazaar that slithered through London's forgotten veins."
1"Uniforms wouldn't touch it without a warrant that danced around the supernatural, so Harlow had come alone at first, until the call from dispatch mentioned a co…"
2"She pushed through a makeshift curtain of tattered black fabric, embroidered with sigils that seemed to writhe under her light."
3"The market sprawled before her: stalls cobbled from shipping crates and salvaged iron, lit by flickering gas lamps that cast long shadows over shelves groaning …"
4"The victim lay sprawled amid the debris, his body twisted at an unnatural angle, throat slit clean but shallow—no arterial spray, just a thin line of congealed …"
5"DS Morris, vanished into thin air during a raid that reeked of the uncanny."
6"Harlow followed her gaze, flashlight beam probing the anomaly. The wall wasn't right. Cracks spiderwebbed across it, but they pulsed faintly, edges shimmering l…"
7"Harlow's mind raced, piecing the fragments. The wound: precise, from a blade that entered and exited without drag—impossible for a human arm's arc in that confi…"
8"Eva swallowed, nodding, her nervous habit forgotten in the surge of adrenaline. Together, they advanced on the anomaly, the market's shadows closing in like con…"
17.86% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags14
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"The sergeant gestured vaguely, as if naming them might summon something"
1"She glanced, lips pressing thin"
2"Harlow murmured, the pieces snapping into place"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags8
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"she ordered (order)"
1"Harlow murmured (murmur)"
2"The sergeant whistled (whistle)"
3"the rift spits (spit)"
4"Harlow whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences33
tagDensity0.242
leniency0.485
rawRatio0.625
effectiveRatio0.303
73.5173%