Run: 2026-02-20-01KHYAGA38FBZCY6R6W39QDV2H

Run Details

Duration:
27.9s
Cost:
$0.001400
Provider:
Seed

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The air tasted of honey and something sharper, cleaner, like rain on hot stone, when Rory pushed through the last of the park’s winter-thinned oaks. She slowed, hand drifting to the chain under her coat, where the Heartstone Pendant pressed warm against her chest—a faint, insistent pulse, as if the gem itself were leaning in, eager. Nyx had materialized beside her without sound, their shadowy form shifting slightly, as if the realm around them *tingled* in a way only a Shade could feel. “Too bright,” they whispered, their voice a gust of wind through dry leaves. “Not the cold.” Rory glanced at her phone. 3:17. She’d set out from the flat at 2:45, two hours before sunset, to deliver a takeout to a client in Richmond. Now, the park’s afternoon light was mellow, golden, as if no November chill had ever touched it. She frowned, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear—her left wrist, where the crescent scar from falling off a bike as a child crisped, prickled. *Something’s off*, she thought. *Too off.* Ahead, through the boughs of an ancient oak, she saw them: the standing stones. Not the rough-hewn pillars of old, but weathered circles of wood, their trunks wide enough to wrap her arms around, bark black as obsidian, leaves a glossy green that didn’t belong in late October. Knotted carvings ran along their edges—spirals, what might have been eyes, a symbol Rory didn’t recognize but her chest ached to. *Symmetry*, she noted, that’s when her compass started spinning. Not the digital one clipped to her belt, but the needle inside her skull, flipping wildly, as if the Grove itself were a magnet. “Here,” Isolde said. Rory jumped. The Half-Fae stood at the stone circle’s edge, her silver hair drifting as if through a current, her lavender eyes alight. She wore a dress of linen, dyed indigo, the hem frayed as if by centuries of rain. *No footprints*, Rory realized. Not in the mulch, not in the soft earth. Just the faint indent of her shadow, pooling around her boots. “You take too long,” Isolde added, tilting her head, but there was no rebuke in her voice—only amusement. “The Veil’s thin here today. Winter solstice.” “Of course it is,” Rory said, stepping closer. The pendant burned now, a hot press beneath her skin. “How’d you—” “Prophecy,” Isolde said, cutting her off. She gestured to the stones, and a ripple passed through them, as if the wood itself breathed. “But here. *Touch*.” Nyx moved first, her hand stirring the air beside a trunk. The wood, which had looked solid a moment ago, dissolved into smoke, revealing a narrow gap beyond—a *threshold* between realms, mist curling through it, the light on the other side a deeper, bluer gold. Rory’s breath hitched. She’d heard tales of the Fae Grove, of the pocket between Earth and the Faerie realm, but never imagined she’d stand at the edge of one. “Careful,” Nyx warned. “The Stone doesn’t take kindly to those who doubt.” Rory reached out, her fingers brushing the wood. It was cool, almost damp, like aged oak, and when she pressed, it *squished*—not wood, but something alive, slime-like, under the bark. The Heartstone burned hotter, a sharp pain now, and she yelped, pulling her hand back. A drop of blood beaded on her palm, and when she looked, the pendant’s crimson gem had dulled, as if it too had flinched. Isolde nodded. “It recognizes you. The one the Heartstone chose. Come.” Nyx stepped through first, her shadow form solidifying into a 6’2” shape—pale skin, black hair that rippled like smoke, eyes a faint violet, glowing. They paused at the threshold, glancing back. “It’s… *hungry* in there. For more than souls.” Rory’s throat went dry. She glanced at her phone again—3:42. *Forty-five minutes*, she thought, but her phone felt heavier, as if the battery were draining fast. No, that wasn’t right. She’d left it at home, hadn’t she? No, it was here, in her hand, screen cracked from a fall last week. She frowned, squinting at the time. *3:43*. *Forty-eight minutes*. “Time bends,” Isolde said, as if reading her mind. “An hour here is a minute. A day… well. Don’t fret the clock. Fret the *whispers*.” The Grove hit them all at once. The air smelled of crushed mint and something sweet, cloying, like overripe peaches—exotic, *wrong*. The light was golden, but softer, as if filtered through a veil, and the trees were not oaks, but something taller, slimmer, their leaves a iridescent green that shifted to blue when the wind shifted. Wildflowers carpeted the ground—red, purple, white, petals waxy to the touch—that Rory didn’t recognize, their scent thickening the air. A stream babbled to her left; when she stepped toward it, the water rippled, forming a face—a woman with silver hair, her lavender eyes wide—then dissolved, leaving only the gurgle of the current. “Magic,” Nyx said, their voice a rasp. They shifted, their shadow form thinning, as if the Grove itself were feeding their essence. “This is what it means to be between realms. The magic *bleeds* into you.” Rory knelt, brushing a flower—white, with a center like liquid starlight—off a stem. It didn’t wilt, even as she plucked it; instead, it flickered, the starlight spreading up her arm, making her skin tingle. She dropped it. “What if… what if we stay too long?” Isolde sat on a boulder, her feet floating a few inches above the ground. “Then you’ll dream in elven. Or forget your name. Choose carefully, little Rory. The Grove remembers. It *hungers* for memories, for secrets.” She tilted her head, and Rory noticed she had no ears—only pointed tips, hidden under her hair. “You seek answers. About Evan. About the Heartstone. About Nyx’s *past*.” Nyx’s shadow flickered. “Did you see that? When I told her—” “*Not yet*,” Isolde said, raising a hand, and Nyx fell silent. Her violet eyes dimmed, as if the light were being squeezed from them. “Listen. The Veil is thin. Winter solstice. Rifts will form. Through those rifts, Hel comes.” “Hel?” Rory said. The name tasted metallic. The Heartstone burned so hot she had to take it off, holding it in her palm. It glowed now, a deep crimson, the gem rippling like liquid fire inside its silver chain. “In Cardiff, they talk of Hel—gluttony. Prince Belphegor. The feasts. The souls.” “Gluttony is the least of it,” Isolde said. She stood, and the flowers around her bent away, as if avoiding her. “The Heartstone is a key. To Dymas. To the feast. But it is *alive*. It feeds on desire. On hunger. And youyou carry it. Because you *hunger*. For what you lost. For what you fear.” Rory’s hand tightened around the pendant. She thought of Evan, of his fists, of the way he’d laughed when she’d flinched. Of Eva, dead in a car crash last year, her text unread on Rory’s phone. *Hunger*, Isolde was right. She ached for the safety she’d lost, the love she’d never found. The Heartstone *responded*, throbbing in her palm, as if it too hungered. “Cut it out,” Nyx said, their voice sharp. They stepped closer, their shadow form coiling like a snake. “Stop twisting her. You always twist.” Isolde smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Fae do not lie. But we *mislead*. Look closer, Rory. At the Grove. At the rifts. At the *truth*.” She raised a hand, and the air in front of Rory rippled, forming a vision: a palace made of marble, white as bone, its walls covered in vines that dripped honey. Inside, tables groaned under the weight of feasts—roast boar, peaches the size of heads, wine that glowed like rubies. Souls in sable cloaks knelt, offering their tongues, their appetites, *their lives* to a figure in black velvet, a crown of thorns on his head. Prince Belphegor. Rory staggered back, the pendant slipping from her hand. “It’s not just a key. It’s a *bait*.” “Bait for what?” Nyx said. “For *you*,” Isolde said. “For all who hunger. The Heartstone will lead you to Dymas. To the feast. And in the feast… you will find answers. But beware. Gluttony does not *give* answers. It *consumes* them. It consumes *you*.” The stream gurgled again, and this time, the face it formed was not a woman, but a man—pale, with black hair that rippled like smoke, a scar on his wrist. Aldric. Nyx’s past. The sorcerer who’d become a Shade. Rory’s chest ached. *That’s him*, she thought. *That’s why the pendant called to me.* “Why me?” she asked. “Why give me the Heartstone?” Isolde’s eyes closed. “Because you are a bridge. Between realms. Between life and hunger. Between the lies we tell ourselves and the truth we fear.” She paused, then added, “The Fae Grove chooses its champions. It sees what others miss. It sees *you*—cool-headed, quick, *hungry* for survival.” A wind picked up, blowing the wildflowers away, and the standing stones hissed. Rory felt the time shift then, a disorienting lurch, as if the world had been rolled up like a scroll. When it settled, the sun was lower, painting the sky a deep orange. She checked her phone—4:07. *Fifty-two minutes*. But her muscles felt tight, as if she’d been running, and her throat was dry, as if she’d been shouting. “Time,” Isolde said, nodding. “It does not wait. The rifts will open soon. Before the solstice. You must leave with Nyx. Be ready. The Heartstone will guide you—but you must *listen*.” Nyx shifted closer, their shadow form merging with Rory’s, as if they were sharing her breath. “She’s right. The Grove does not keep its secrets. It *tests* them.” They paused, then added, “And Aldric… he was once like you. A man who made a bargain for power. And look where it got him.” Rory stood, gripping the Heartstone. It was still warm, but the pain had faded, replaced by a quiet hum. She thought of Evan, of Eva, of the way she’d fled London, of the life she’d built—small, ordinary, *safe*—in a flat above a bar. But safety, she realized, was a feast too. A quiet, insidious one. And the Heartstone was a knock at the door, promising more. “Let’s go,” she said. Isolde smiled, and the wildflowers bloomed again, a riot of color. “Go. But remember: the Veil is thin. And Hel’s hunger is even thinner.” They walked back to the standing stones, the Grove fading behind them—its light, its scents, its time—until the tree trunks dissolved into smoke, and the park’s winter air hit them, sharp and cold. Rory’s phone buzzed, a text from her boss: *Flat’s yours tonight. Extra tips for the overtime.* She ignored it, squeezing Nyx’s hand. “Ready?” Nyx nodded, their violet eyes bright. “Ready.” Rory looked at the sky, at the first stars pricking through the dark. The Heartstone hummed, low and steady, and she knew—this time, there would be no turning back. The feast was waiting. And she was hungry.
created_at"2026-02-20T20:05:21.146Z" 2/20/2026, 8:05:21 PM
model"bytedance-seed/seed-1.6-flash-20250625"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency554
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time27754
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion4453
native_tokens_prompt1740
native_tokens_completion4232
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning1443
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.0014001
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"e01a1227-001b-44d4-a376-90850668fa84"
id"02177161792139985fbb282d67f6232524942e9d2086bade8f85b"
is_byokfalse
latency457
model_permaslug"bytedance-seed/seed-1.6-flash-20250625"
provider_name"Seed"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771617921-usTUUSMY2GxT8nvBPdeH"
upstream_id"02177161792139985fbb282d67f6232524942e9d2086bade8f85b"
total_cost0.0014001
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Seed"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags37
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"we stay too [too]"
1"Rory staggered back [back]"
2"They walked back [back]"
dialogueSentences54
tagDensity0.685
leniency1
rawRatio0.081
effectiveRatio0.081
94.61% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1857
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
1
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
73.07% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1857
totalAiIsms10
found
0
word"pulse"
count1
1
word"could feel"
count1
2
word"chill"
count1
3
word"flickered"
count2
4
word"desire"
count1
5
word"marble"
count1
6
word"weight"
count1
7
word"velvet"
count1
8
word"lurch"
count1
highlights
0"pulse"
1"could feel"
2"chill"
3"flickered"
4"desire"
5"marble"
6"weight"
7"velvet"
8"lurch"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences133
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences133
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences139
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen106
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans39
markdownWords61
totalWords1829
ratio0.033
matches
0"tingled"
1"Something’s off"
2"Too off."
3"Symmetry"
4"No footprints"
5"Touch"
6"threshold"
7"squished"
8"hungry"
9"Forty-five minutes"
10"3:43"
11"Forty-eight minutes"
12"whispers"
13"wrong"
14"bleeds"
15"hungers"
16"past"
17"Not yet"
18"alive"
19"hunger"
20"Hunger"
21"responded"
22"mislead"
23"truth"
24"their lives"
25"bait"
26"you"
27"give"
28"consumes"
29"you"
30"That’s him"
31"That’s why the pendant called to me."
32"you"
33"hungry"
34"Fifty-two minutes"
35"listen"
36"tests"
37"safe"
38"Flat’s yours tonight. Extra tips for the overtime."
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions30
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
75.23% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions102
wordCount1538
uniqueNames25
maxNameDensity1.5
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory23
Heartstone10
Pendant1
Shade2
Richmond1
November1
Ahead1
October1
Grove9
Half-Fae1
Fae3
Earth1
Faerie1
Isolde14
Evan3
Nyx15
Veil2
Hel2
Prince1
Belphegor1
Dymas2
Eva2
You2
Aldric2
London1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Heartstone"
2"Pendant"
3"Shade"
4"November"
5"Half-Fae"
6"Isolde"
7"Evan"
8"Nyx"
9"Hel"
10"Prince"
11"Belphegor"
12"Eva"
13"You"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Grove"
2"Fae"
3"Veil"
4"Dymas"
5"London"
globalScore0.752
windowScore0.833
62.28% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences57
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"as if reading her mind"
1"as if avoiding her"
0.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches5
per1kWords2.734
wordCount1829
matches
0"Not the rough-hewn pillars of old, but weathered circles of wood, their trunks wide enough to wrap"
1"Not the digital one clipped to her belt, but the needle inside her skull, flipping wildly, as if the Grov"
2"not wood, but something alive, slime-like, under the bark"
3"not oaks, but something taller, slimmer, their leaves a iridescent green"
4"not a woman, but a man"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences139
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs41
mean44.61
std29.56
cv0.663
sampleLengths
099
177
2102
33
489
520
626
774
812
969
1011
1139
1260
1325
147
15101
1636
1745
1864
1911
2039
2151
2257
2364
2424
25104
2617
275
2839
2953
309
3147
3272
3331
3453
3566
364
3724
3856
397
4037
99.99% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences133
matches
0"being squeezed"
1"been rolled"
77.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs271
matches
0"were leaning"
1"were draining"
2"were feeding"
3"were sharing"
4"was waiting"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount23
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences16
totalSentences139
ratio0.115
matches
0"She slowed, hand drifting to the chain under her coat, where the Heartstone Pendant pressed warm against her chest—a faint, insistent pulse, as if the gem itself were leaning in, eager."
1"She frowned, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear—her left wrist, where the crescent scar from falling off a bike as a child crisped, prickled."
2"Knotted carvings ran along their edges—spirals, what might have been eyes, a symbol Rory didn’t recognize but her chest ached to."
3"“You take too long,” Isolde added, tilting her head, but there was no rebuke in her voice—only amusement."
4"The wood, which had looked solid a moment ago, dissolved into smoke, revealing a narrow gap beyond—a *threshold* between realms, mist curling through it, the light on the other side a deeper, bluer gold."
5"It was cool, almost damp, like aged oak, and when she pressed, it *squished*—not wood, but something alive, slime-like, under the bark."
6"Rory’s throat went dry. She glanced at her phone again—3:42. *Forty-five minutes*, she thought, but her phone felt heavier, as if the battery were draining fast. No, that wasn’t right. She’d left it at home, hadn’t she? No, it was here, in her hand, screen cracked from a fall last week. She frowned, squinting at the time. *3:43*. *Forty-eight minutes*."
7"The air smelled of crushed mint and something sweet, cloying, like overripe peaches—exotic, *wrong*. The light was golden, but softer, as if filtered through a veil, and the trees were not oaks, but something taller, slimmer, their leaves a iridescent green that shifted to blue when the wind shifted. Wildflowers carpeted the ground—red, purple, white, petals waxy to the touch—that Rory didn’t recognize, their scent thickening the air. A stream babbled to her left; when she stepped toward it, the water rippled, forming a face—a woman with silver hair, her lavender eyes wide—then dissolved, leaving only the gurgle of the current."
8"Rory knelt, brushing a flower—white, with a center like liquid starlight—off a stem. It didn’t wilt, even as she plucked it; instead, it flickered, the starlight spreading up her arm, making her skin tingle. She dropped it. “What if…"
9"The stream gurgled again, and this time, the face it formed was not a woman, but a man—pale, with black hair that rippled like smoke, a scar on his wrist. Aldric. Nyx’s past. The sorcerer who’d become a Shade. Rory’s chest ached. *That’s him*, she thought. *That’s why the pendant called to me.*"
10"It sees *you*—cool-headed, quick, *hungry* for survival.”"
11"A wind picked up, blowing the wildflowers away, and the standing stones hissed. Rory felt the time shift then, a disorienting lurch, as if the world had been rolled up like a scroll. When it settled, the sun was lower, painting the sky a deep orange. She checked her phone—4:07. *Fifty-two minutes*. But her muscles felt tight, as if she’d been running, and her throat was dry, as if she’d been shouting."
12"The Heartstone will guide you—but you must *listen*.”"
13"Rory stood, gripping the Heartstone. It was still warm, but the pain had faded, replaced by a quiet hum. She thought of Evan, of Eva, of the way she’d fled London, of the life she’d built—small, ordinary, *safe*—in a flat above a bar. But safety, she realized, was a feast too. A quiet, insidious one. And the Heartstone was a knock at the door, promising more."
14"They walked back to the standing stones, the Grove fading behind them—its light, its scents, its time—until the tree trunks dissolved into smoke, and the park’s winter air hit them, sharp and cold. Rory’s phone buzzed, a text from her boss: *Flat’s yours tonight. Extra tips for the overtime.* She ignored it, squeezing Nyx’s hand. “Ready?”"
15"Rory looked at the sky, at the first stars pricking through the dark. The Heartstone hummed, low and steady, and she knew—this time, there would be no turning back. The feast was waiting. And she was hungry."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount858
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount19
adverbRatio0.022144522144522144
lyAdverbCount5
lyAdverbRatio0.005827505827505828
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences139
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences139
mean13.16
std17.01
cv1.292
sampleLengths
025
131
227
313
43
55
61
721
817
927
104
112
1214
1334
1421
159
1624
173
182
1921
2017
214
229
2311
2418
257
268
2710
282
296
3017
313
3211
3334
343
3526
363
379
388
3922
4015
4124
422
439
4432
453
464
4760
4815
492
58.94% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats12
diversityRatio0.4057971014492754
totalSentences138
uniqueOpeners56
32.05% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences104
matches
0"Just the faint indent of"
ratio0.01
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount19
totalSentences104
matches
0"She slowed, hand drifting to"
1"they whispered, their voice a"
2"She’d set out from the"
3"She frowned, tucking a strand"
4"She wore a dress of"
5"She gestured to the stones,"
6"She’d heard tales of the"
7"It was cool, almost damp,"
8"It *hungers* for memories, for"
9"It feeds on desire."
10"you carry it."
11"you will find answers."
12"It *consumes* them."
13"It sees what others miss."
14"It sees *you*—cool-headed, quick, *hungry*"
15"You must leave with Nyx."
16"It *tests* Aldric…"
17"he was once like you."
18"They walked back to the"
ratio0.183
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount70
totalSentences104
matches
0"The air tasted of honey"
1"She slowed, hand drifting to"
2"Nyx had materialized beside her"
3"they whispered, their voice a"
4"Rory glanced at her phone."
5"She’d set out from the"
6"She frowned, tucking a strand"
7"*Something’s off*, she thought."
8"*Symmetry*, she noted, that’s when"
9"The Half-Fae stood at the"
10"She wore a dress of"
11"Isolde added, tilting her head,"
12"Rory said, stepping closer"
13"The pendant burned now, a"
14"Isolde said, cutting her off"
15"She gestured to the stones,"
16"Nyx moved first, her hand"
17"The wood, which had looked"
18"Rory’s breath hitched."
19"She’d heard tales of the"
ratio0.673
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences104
matches
0"Now, the park’s afternoon light"
1"To the feast."
2"Because you *hunger*."
3"To the feast."
4"Before the solstice."
ratio0.048
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences28
technicalSentenceCount8
matches
0"She slowed, hand drifting to the chain under her coat, where the Heartstone Pendant pressed warm against her chest—a faint, insistent pulse, as if the gem itsel…"
1"The Half-Fae stood at the stone circle’s edge, her silver hair drifting as if through a current, her lavender eyes alight."
2"She wore a dress of linen, dyed indigo, the hem frayed as if by centuries of rain."
3"The wood, which had looked solid a moment ago, dissolved into smoke, revealing a narrow gap beyond—a *threshold* between realms, mist curling through it, the li…"
4"Rory’s throat went dry. She glanced at her phone again—3:42. *Forty-five minutes*, she thought, but her phone felt heavier, as if the battery were draining fast…"
5"The air smelled of crushed mint and something sweet, cloying, like overripe peaches—exotic, *wrong*. The light was golden, but softer, as if filtered through a …"
6"Rory’s hand tightened around the pendant. She thought of Evan, of his fists, of the way he’d laughed when she’d flinched. Of Eva, dead in a car crash last year,…"
7"A wind picked up, blowing the wildflowers away, and the standing stones hissed. Rory felt the time shift then, a disorienting lurch, as if the world had been ro…"
35.71% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags28
uselessAdditionCount5
matches
0"they whispered, their voice a gust of wind through dry leaves"
1"Nyx stepped, her shadow form solidifying into a 6’2"
2"Isolde said, as if reading her mind"
3"Nyx said, their voice a rasp"
4"Nyx said, their voice sharp"
94.44% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags19
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"they whispered (whisper)"
1"Isolde added (add)"
2"Nyx warned (warn)"
dialogueSentences54
tagDensity0.352
leniency0.704
rawRatio0.158
effectiveRatio0.111
80.1110%