Run: 2026-02-24-01KJ8WER3RCFF7EJX1HGVAVMXY

Run Details

Duration:
1m 33s
Cost:
$0.090940
Provider:
Amazon Bedrock

Model input

System
You are an expert fiction writer. Always keep the following rules in mind: - Write in past tense and use General English spelling, grammar, and colloquialisms/slang. - Write in active voice - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. - Avoid adverbs and cliches and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Convey events and story through dialogue. - Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. - Skip "he/she said said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech - Avoid mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or add unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Reduce indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" When writing text: - NEVER conclude the scene on your own, follow the beat instructions very closely. - NEVER end with foreshadowing. - NEVER write further than what I prompt you with. - AVOID imagining possible endings, NEVER deviate from the instructions. - STOP EARLY if the continuation contains what was required in the instructions. You do not need to fill out the full amount of words possible.
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Continue the story using the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
The pendant burned against Rory's chest the moment the air split open. Not heat, exactly. More like a heartbeat that wasn't hers — a deep, rhythmic pulse that throbbed through the silver chain and settled somewhere behind her sternum. She pressed her palm flat against the crimson stone through her jacket. "It knows," Isolde said from behind her. The half-Fae stood at the edge of the rift, silver hair caught in a wind that came from nowhere on the mortal side. Her lavender eyes reflected the light bleeding through the tear in the Veil — not white, not gold, but the color of honey held up to a flame. "The stone remembers where it was born." Nyx drifted past them both. Their shadow-form thinned at the edges near the rift, wisps of dark curling away from their silhouette like smoke finding a draft. When they spoke, the whisper-voice carried an edge Rory hadn't heard before. "I haven't stood at a threshold like this in three hundred years." "Does it hurt?" Rory asked. The violet glow of Nyx's eyes dimmed, then brightened. "Everything between places hurts. You simply learn which pain is the useful kind." Rory swallowed. The rift hung in the air before them like a wound — a vertical seam of shimmering distortion roughly seven feet tall, pulsing at its edges with that amber glow. Behind it, Richmond Park continued its grey English afternoon, fog threading between the oaks. Ahead, through that impossible gap, she could see colors that didn't belong to any London sky. "The blade," Isolde said. Rory reached for the dagger at her belt. The moonsilver handle bit cold against her fingers, colder than usual. She'd carried it for three weeks now and still hadn't grown accustomed to the way it drained warmth from her grip. "If the rift begins to close while we're inside—" "It will not close." Isolde's voice held the absolute certainty of someone who couldn't lie. Then her mouth curved. "Not quickly." "That's reassuring." "I did not intend it to be." Nyx had already half-dissolved into the threshold, their form stretching and distorting as they pressed through. Rory watched the shadow-figure warp, flatten, then vanish entirely — pulled through like ink through a drain. She gripped the Fae blade tighter and stepped forward. The crossing lasted one second or one hour. Impossible to tell. The world folded around her like wet cloth, pressure on every inch of skin, a sound like the ocean heard through a wall, and then — Light. Warmth. The smell of ripe fruit and wood smoke and something underneath both, sweet and cloying, like jasmine left too long in standing water. Rory stumbled onto ground that gave slightly under her boots. Not soil. Something softer. She looked down. Dark earth, almost black, rich and loamy, threaded through with filaments of gold that glowed faintly beneath the surface. As if the ground itself was veined. She looked up and forgot to breathe. The sky was amber. Not sunset-amber, not filtered-through-clouds amber. The entire vault of the heavens burned with a warm, steady, honeyed gold that had no visible source — no sun, no horizon glow, just an omnipresent radiance that cast soft-edged shadows in every direction. Rory turned in a full circle. No sun anywhere. The light simply was. "Dymas," Nyx breathed. They had reconstituted beside her, their shadow-form sharper here, more defined, as if the ambient warmth gave their edges something to push against. The violet of their eyes burned almost white. "The Glutton's Garden." The landscape unfolded before them in impossible abundance. Vineyards covered the nearest hillside, row after row of thick-trunked vines heavy with fruit that ranged from deep purple to a luminous, almost radioactive green. Beyond the vineyards, orchards climbed a gentle slope — trees Rory couldn't name bearing fruit she couldn't identify, their branches so laden they bent in wide arcs toward the golden-veined earth. The leaves weren't green. They shifted between rust and copper and a dark, oily red that reminded her of drying blood. Isolde materialized through the rift behind them without sound. She left no footprints in the dark soil, and Rory noticed the golden filaments in the ground shied away from where the half-Fae stood, dimming in a circle around her feet. "Don't eat anything." Isolde's voice had lost its playful lilt. Flat. Serious. "Not a berry. Not a seed. Not a drop of water. Not if it falls into your open mouth." "Wasn't planning on it." "Your plans are irrelevant here. Dymas will make you hungry. Dymas will make you desperate for a taste of whatever it puts in your path. That is not a metaphor. It is what this place does." As if summoned by the warning, Rory's stomach clenched. Not a polite rumble — a sharp, sudden, hollowing ache, as though she hadn't eaten in days. She'd had a sandwich an hour ago. She pressed her fist against her abdomen and the pain receded, but the awareness lingered. A background hum of want. "Noted," she said through her teeth. They moved downhill through the vineyard. The vines were thick as Rory's forearm, gnarled and ancient-looking, their bark scored with patterns that might have been natural growth and might have been something carved. She paused beside one and leaned closer. The pattern resolved into faces. Dozens of them. Tiny, thumb-sized faces pressed into the bark, mouths open, eyes shut. Sleeping or screaming — she couldn't tell which. She stepped back. "Don't look too long at anything that has a face," Nyx said softly. "You could've mentioned that before I looked." "I was enjoying the discovery." A breeze rolled through the vineyard carrying the scent of roasting meat and warm bread, and Rory's mouth flooded with saliva so fast it bordered on pain. She spat and wiped her lips. "This is foul." "This is Gluttony." Isolde moved ahead of them, weaving between vine rows. Her silver hair caught the amber light and turned to molten copper. "The sin does not need to look ugly. That is precisely what makes it a sin." They emerged from the vineyard into a wide, bowl-shaped valley. Rory stopped at its rim and stared. Below them, a vast orchard sprawled in concentric rings around a structure she could only describe as a palace grown from living wood. Tree-trunks the width of houses rose in spiraling columns, their branches interlocking overhead to form vaulted canopies draped with flowering vines. Between the trees, long tables stretched in rows — hundreds of them, thousands maybe — laden with food. Golden platters held towers of glistening fruit. Roasted animals of species Rory didn't recognize sat on beds of herbs that steamed gently in the amber light. Crystal decanters caught the sourceless glow and scattered it in prismatic arcs across tablecloths of deep burgundy. And the tables were occupied. Figures sat at every place. Some human-shaped. Some not. They ate. Mechanically, ceaselessly, hand to mouth, hand to plate, hand to mouth. No conversation carried up from the valley floor. Just the wet, rhythmic sounds of consumption — chewing and tearing and swallowing — rising like the drone of insects. Rory's stomach cramped again. Harder this time. She gripped the Fae blade and the freezing moonsilver grounded her, the cold eating through the hunger like a slap. "Are those—" "Helbound." Nyx's form flickered. The shadow at their edges churned. "Souls under contract. Some are the chefs. Some are the diners. Hard to tell the difference after a few centuries." "Can they see us?" "Not yet." Isolde crouched at the valley's edge, peering down. One hand rested on the dark earth. The golden filaments pulsed beneath her fingers — a quickening, like a startled heartbeat — then went dim again. "This realm is aware of us. The soil knows foreign weight. We have minutes before something with authority takes notice." "Minutes." Rory scanned the valley for anything resembling a path. The pendant pulsed again at her chest, quicker now, the rhythm syncing with the golden veins in the ground. She pulled the chain out from under her jacket and held the crimson stone in her palm. It pointed, as much as a stone could point — the warmth concentrated on one side, tugging faintly to the left, toward the far edge of the orchard where the trees grew denser and darker. "It's pulling that way." Nyx leaned close. The shadow of their face — featureless except for those burning violet points — hovered inches from the stone. Something in their whisper-voice shifted. Recognition, maybe. Or fear. "That direction leads deeper into the palace grounds. Toward the kitchens." "The kitchens." "Where Belphegor's master chefs work. Where the contracts are sealed and the feasts are prepared. It is not a place that welcomes visitors." Rory closed her fist around the stone. The warmth pushed against her palm, insistent, almost alive. "Good thing we're not visitors." "What are we, then?" Nyx asked. She didn't answer. She started walking. The descent into the valley happened in silence. The dark soil gave beneath her boots with each step, soft and yielding, and the golden veins brightened wherever she placed her weight, then faded behind her in a trail of dimming light. She was marking a path whether she wanted to or not. Every footstep a signal. Every step a declaration: something foreign walks here. Isolde flanked her left, drifting above the ground in that unsettling way — present but untouched, her bare feet half an inch above the soil. No trail behind her. No signal. If Dymas sensed the half-Fae, it couldn't trace her. Nyx took the right, dissolving into the long, amber-lit shadows between the orchard trees and reforming with each gap, a stuttering progression of darkness. They moved in silence, but Rory caught flickers of their form stretching back toward the rift — glancing behind, checking the exit, measuring the distance. The orchard closed around them. The trees here bore fruit she could almost name — apples, maybe, but too large, too symmetric, their skins a polished red so deep it bordered on black. Pears the color of bruises. Figs that wept clear syrup from splits in their flesh. The smell was overpowering. Ripe, sweet, cloying, with that undertone of rot that Rory had caught at the threshold. Here it was stronger. Closer. The smell of something perfect on the edge of ruin. Her stomach screamed. She bit the inside of her cheek until blood came and the copper taste cut through the hunger. A sound reached her that wasn't eating. Music. Faint, drifting from the palace at the valley's center — strings, low and modal, not quite a melody. More like a pulse. A breathing rhythm that matched the golden veins in the soil and the heartbeat of the pendant and the ache in her gut. Everything in Dymas synchronized. Everything here moved to the same tempo. She tightened her grip on the blade and kept walking. The first chef appeared between two fig trees. He wore stained whites — kitchen attire, recognizable, almost absurdly mundane in this place. A tall toque sat crooked on his head. His face was gaunt, cheeks hollow, eyes sunken. But his hands moved with extraordinary speed, separating the flesh of a fruit Rory couldn't identify, slicing it into translucent sheets with a knife that appeared to be made from bone. He didn't look up. His lips moved — counting, maybe, or reciting a recipe — and his fingers never stopped. Rory gave him a wide berth. As she passed, his lips went still. His hands paused. The bone knife hovered over the cutting board — a flat stone balanced between two roots. He sniffed the air. "Keep moving," Isolde murmured. They moved. Behind them, the chef resumed his work. But Rory heard him sniffing again, longer this time, drawing in a deep pull of air like a hound catching a distant scent. The pendant burned hotter. She pressed on.
created_at"2026-02-24T22:31:28.641Z" 2/24/2026, 10:31:28 PM
model"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1744
moderation_latency163
generation_time92872
tokens_prompt1816
tokens_completion3322
native_tokens_prompt1983
native_tokens_completion3241
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning235
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.09094
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"a8708fb9-08ea-43bb-a3b1-165c87ef09df"
id"2e3c80b0-e8d2-4767-9f81-0e2eb25233ff"
is_byokfalse
latency1733
model_permaslug"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771972288-VCOy9qfExvuaV2XNgToD"
upstream_id"2e3c80b0-e8d2-4767-9f81-0e2eb25233ff"
total_cost0.09094
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags14
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Nyx said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences38
tagDensity0.368
leniency0.737
rawRatio0.071
effectiveRatio0.053
87.28% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1966
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count1
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"precisely"
count1
4
adverb"gently"
count1
highlights
0"quickly"
1"slightly"
2"softly"
3"precisely"
4"gently"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
18.62% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1966
totalAiIsms32
found
0
word"rhythmic"
count2
1
word"pulse"
count2
2
word"throbbed"
count1
3
word"whisper"
count2
4
word"warmth"
count5
5
word"lilt"
count1
6
word"stomach"
count3
7
word"resolved"
count1
8
word"structure"
count1
9
word"glistening"
count1
10
word"crystal"
count1
11
word"flickered"
count1
12
word"churned"
count1
13
word"pulsed"
count2
14
word"weight"
count2
15
word"scanned"
count1
16
word"almost alive"
count1
17
word"silence"
count2
18
word"perfect"
count1
19
word"synchronized"
count1
highlights
0"rhythmic"
1"pulse"
2"throbbed"
3"whisper"
4"warmth"
5"lilt"
6"stomach"
7"resolved"
8"structure"
9"glistening"
10"crystal"
11"flickered"
12"churned"
13"pulsed"
14"weight"
15"scanned"
16"almost alive"
17"silence"
18"perfect"
19"synchronized"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"hung in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences162
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences162
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"appeared to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences186
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen36
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1992
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions14
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.02% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions56
wordCount1717
uniqueNames13
maxNameDensity1.34
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory23
Veil1
Nyx9
Richmond1
Park1
English1
London1
Fae5
Light1
Flat1
One1
Dymas2
Isolde9
persons
0"Rory"
1"Nyx"
2"Fae"
3"Light"
4"Dymas"
5"Isolde"
places
0"Veil"
1"Richmond"
2"Park"
3"London"
4"One"
globalScore0.83
windowScore0.833
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences101
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"not quite a melody"
99.60% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords1.004
wordCount1992
matches
0"not white, not gold, but the color of honey held up to a flame"
1"not gold, but the color of honey held up to a flame"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences186
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs69
mean28.87
std25.16
cv0.872
sampleLengths
012
139
265
339
412
55
622
762
84
940
109
1121
122
137
1433
159
1637
1725
1843
197
2057
2137
2285
2340
2431
254
2636
2753
286
2967
303
3113
327
335
3433
353
3640
3717
38105
395
4050
4127
422
4330
444
4556
4685
4731
4811
492
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences162
matches
0"was veined"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs273
matches
0"was marking"
1"wasn't eating"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount26
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences21
totalSentences186
ratio0.113
matches
0"More like a heartbeat that wasn't hers — a deep, rhythmic pulse that throbbed through the silver chain and settled somewhere behind her sternum."
1"Her lavender eyes reflected the light bleeding through the tear in the Veil — not white, not gold, but the color of honey held up to a flame."
2"The rift hung in the air before them like a wound — a vertical seam of shimmering distortion roughly seven feet tall, pulsing at its edges with that amber glow."
3"Rory watched the shadow-figure warp, flatten, then vanish entirely — pulled through like ink through a drain."
4"The world folded around her like wet cloth, pressure on every inch of skin, a sound like the ocean heard through a wall, and then —"
5"The entire vault of the heavens burned with a warm, steady, honeyed gold that had no visible source — no sun, no horizon glow, just an omnipresent radiance that cast soft-edged shadows in every direction."
6"Beyond the vineyards, orchards climbed a gentle slope — trees Rory couldn't name bearing fruit she couldn't identify, their branches so laden they bent in wide arcs toward the golden-veined earth."
7"Not a polite rumble — a sharp, sudden, hollowing ache, as though she hadn't eaten in days."
8"Sleeping or screaming — she couldn't tell which."
9"Between the trees, long tables stretched in rows — hundreds of them, thousands maybe — laden with food."
10"Just the wet, rhythmic sounds of consumption — chewing and tearing and swallowing — rising like the drone of insects."
11"The golden filaments pulsed beneath her fingers — a quickening, like a startled heartbeat — then went dim again."
12"It pointed, as much as a stone could point — the warmth concentrated on one side, tugging faintly to the left, toward the far edge of the orchard where the trees grew denser and darker."
13"The shadow of their face — featureless except for those burning violet points — hovered inches from the stone."
14"Isolde flanked her left, drifting above the ground in that unsettling way — present but untouched, her bare feet half an inch above the soil."
15"They moved in silence, but Rory caught flickers of their form stretching back toward the rift — glancing behind, checking the exit, measuring the distance."
16"The trees here bore fruit she could almost name — apples, maybe, but too large, too symmetric, their skins a polished red so deep it bordered on black."
17"Faint, drifting from the palace at the valley's center — strings, low and modal, not quite a melody."
18"He wore stained whites — kitchen attire, recognizable, almost absurdly mundane in this place."
19"His lips moved — counting, maybe, or reciting a recipe — and his fingers never stopped."
20"The bone knife hovered over the cutting board — a flat stone balanced between two roots."
82.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1712
adjectiveStacks3
stackExamples
0"Tiny, thumb-sized faces"
1"wide, bowl-shaped valley."
2"long, amber-lit shadows"
adverbCount62
adverbRatio0.036214953271028034
lyAdverbCount14
lyAdverbRatio0.008177570093457943
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences186
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences186
mean10.71
std8.47
cv0.791
sampleLengths
012
13
224
312
47
523
628
77
85
922
1012
1112
125
139
1413
152
1630
1714
1816
194
208
2111
2221
239
2415
254
262
272
287
2916
3017
319
328
333
3426
351
361
3723
3810
392
402
413
4219
437
447
454
465
4735
486
493
62.54% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats12
diversityRatio0.41397849462365593
totalSentences186
uniqueOpeners77
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount5
totalSentences141
matches
0"More like a heartbeat that"
1"Then her mouth curved."
2"Mechanically, ceaselessly, hand to mouth,"
3"Just the wet, rhythmic sounds"
4"More like a pulse."
ratio0.035
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount36
totalSentences141
matches
0"She pressed her palm flat"
1"Her lavender eyes reflected the"
2"Their shadow-form thinned at the"
3"She'd carried it for three"
4"She gripped the Fae blade"
5"She looked down."
6"She looked up and forgot"
7"They had reconstituted beside her,"
8"They shifted between rust and"
9"She left no footprints in"
10"She'd had a sandwich an"
11"She pressed her fist against"
12"she said through her teeth"
13"They moved downhill through the"
14"She paused beside one and"
15"She stepped back."
16"She spat and wiped her"
17"Her silver hair caught the"
18"They emerged from the vineyard"
19"She gripped the Fae blade"
ratio0.255
84.11% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount106
totalSentences141
matches
0"The pendant burned against Rory's"
1"She pressed her palm flat"
2"Isolde said from behind her"
3"The half-Fae stood at the"
4"Her lavender eyes reflected the"
5"Nyx drifted past them both."
6"Their shadow-form thinned at the"
7"The violet glow of Nyx's"
8"The rift hung in the"
9"Rory reached for the dagger"
10"The moonsilver handle bit cold"
11"She'd carried it for three"
12"Isolde's voice held the absolute"
13"Nyx had already half-dissolved into"
14"Rory watched the shadow-figure warp,"
15"She gripped the Fae blade"
16"The crossing lasted one second"
17"The world folded around her"
18"The smell of ripe fruit"
19"Rory stumbled onto ground that"
ratio0.752
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences141
matches
0"As if the ground itself"
1"As if summoned by the"
2"If Dymas sensed the half-Fae,"
ratio0.021
29.48% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences63
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"More like a heartbeat that wasn't hers — a deep, rhythmic pulse that throbbed through the silver chain and settled somewhere behind her sternum."
1"The half-Fae stood at the edge of the rift, silver hair caught in a wind that came from nowhere on the mortal side."
2"Dark earth, almost black, rich and loamy, threaded through with filaments of gold that glowed faintly beneath the surface."
3"The entire vault of the heavens burned with a warm, steady, honeyed gold that had no visible source — no sun, no horizon glow, just an omnipresent radiance that…"
4"They had reconstituted beside her, their shadow-form sharper here, more defined, as if the ambient warmth gave their edges something to push against."
5"Vineyards covered the nearest hillside, row after row of thick-trunked vines heavy with fruit that ranged from deep purple to a luminous, almost radioactive gre…"
6"Not a polite rumble — a sharp, sudden, hollowing ache, as though she hadn't eaten in days."
7"The vines were thick as Rory's forearm, gnarled and ancient-looking, their bark scored with patterns that might have been natural growth and might have been som…"
8"Tree-trunks the width of houses rose in spiraling columns, their branches interlocking overhead to form vaulted canopies draped with flowering vines."
9"But his hands moved with extraordinary speed, separating the flesh of a fruit Rory couldn't identify, slicing it into translucent sheets with a knife that appea…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags14
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
97.37% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags8
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Nyx breathed (breathe)"
1"Isolde murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences38
tagDensity0.211
leniency0.421
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.105
88.1342%