Run: 2026-02-24-01KJ8WH8VSCAGCRTRC4C29H6JZ

Run Details

Duration:
1m 44s
Cost:
$0.093275
Provider:
Amazon Bedrock

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The smell hit her first. Not the expected rot of a body left underground — this was something sharper, metallic and sweet at once, like pennies dropped into honey. Detective Harlow Quinn ducked beneath the cordon tape that her constables had strung across the old service entrance and descended the concrete steps into the dark. The abandoned Tube station beneath Camden had been sealed since 1956, according to Transport for London's records. Quinn had checked twice. No active ventilation, no power, no legitimate reason for anyone to be down here. And yet someone had strung fairy lights — actual glass-bulbed Edison strings, not battery-powered — along the tiled walls of the old platform, and every one of them was still burning. She made a note of that. There was no junction box. No visible power source. The lights just burned. "Mind the third step, Detective. It's cracked clean through." The voice belonged to PC Sheldon, the first officer on scene, a lanky twenty-three-year-old who stood at the bottom of the stairs with his torch aimed at the ground and his face the color of week-old milk. Quinn stepped over the cracked stair without looking down at it. She was already cataloguing the platform beyond him. Stalls. Dozens of them, arranged in two neat rows running the length of the platform like some subterranean market. Wooden trestle tables draped in dark cloth, a few overturned. Glass jars shattered across the tiles, their contents — dried herbs, powders in colors she couldn't name, things that moved even though they shouldn't — scattered and ground underfoot. Someone had left in a hurry. Many someones. "Who called it in?" she asked. "Anonymous tip. Female voice, pay-as-you-go mobile, signal bounced off a tower in Kentish Town. Said there'd been a murder at the old Camden station." Sheldon swallowed. "We almost didn't come. Thought it was a wind-up." "But you came." "My sergeant thought it might be rough sleepers. Sent me down with Okafor." He jerked his chin toward the far end of the platform, where a second constable stood guard beside something Quinn couldn't yet see. "We found the entrance already open. Padlock cut. And then we found — well." Quinn walked past him. Her shoes crunched on broken glass and something that felt like dried leaves but wasn't. The air down here was wrong. Too warm for an underground space with no heating, and it carried a faint vibration, a subsonic hum that she felt in her molars more than heard. She'd felt something like it once before, three years ago, in a warehouse in Rotherhithe where DS Morris had walked through a door that shouldn't have existed and never walked back out. She shut that thought down with the efficiency of long practice and focused on the scene. The body lay between two overturned stalls near the platform's edge, where the tracks would have been if they hadn't been filled in with poured concrete decades ago. Male. Late forties or early fifties, heavyset, wearing a long coat of dark wool. He was on his back, arms spread, eyes open and fixed on the vaulted ceiling. No visible wounds. No blood. His expression was one of absolute, frozen terror. Quinn crouched beside him, pulling on nitrile gloves. She checked his neck first — no pulse, skin cool but not cold, no lividity that she could see. She lifted his right hand. The fingers were blackened at the tips, as though he'd dipped them in ink, except the discoloration went beneath the nails and traveled up the veins to the wrist in thin dark lines. "Has anyone touched him?" "No, ma'am." Okafor, the second constable, was older than Sheldon and steadier, but her voice carried a tightness that Quinn recognized. "We checked for a pulse and stepped back. Paramedics are en route but it's — the access is narrow. They'll be another twenty minutes." "He's past needing them." Quinn lifted the other hand. Same blackening, same veined lines. She leaned closer. The dark tracery didn't just travel up his arms — it spread across his chest beneath the open collar of his shirt, branching like the roots of a tree, converging over his sternum. No wound. No blood. No obvious cause of death. She sat back on her heels and looked at his face again. The terror. Not pain — she'd seen pain on a dead man's face before, and this wasn't it. This was the kind of fear that stopped a heart. She checked his pockets with careful, methodical hands: no wallet, no identification, no phone. But in his inner coat pocket, wrapped in a scrap of dark silk, she found a small brass compass. Quinn unwrapped it under the light of the fairy bulbs. The casing was old, covered in a patina of verdigris that had settled into every seam and hinge. The face was etched with symbols she didn't recognize — not numbers, not compass points, but something intricate and deliberate, like a language she'd never seen. The needle was midnight black and it was moving. Not spinning, not pointing north. It swung in a slow, purposeful arc toward the far wall of the station, then held steady, then drifted back, as though tracking something that was itself in motion. "Sheldon. Get me an evidence bag." She wrapped the compass back in its silk and sealed it, then stood and surveyed the wider scene again. Something was off. Several somethings. She turned a slow circle, letting her eyes move without focusing, the way her first DI had taught her — don't look for what's wrong, let what's wrong find you. The stalls were overturned, but not all of them. The ones nearest the body had been knocked sideways, their goods scattered. The ones at the far end of the platform stood upright, untouched, their wares still neatly arranged. Whatever had happened, it had happened fast and it had happened here, at the eastern end, and the people at the western end had had time to pack up and leave. Except they hadn't packed up. The stalls were still laden. They'd simply walked away from their merchandise. Then there were the scorch marks. She counted four of them — dark, asymmetric burns on the tile floor, each roughly the size of a dinner plate, arranged in a pattern that might have been random but felt deliberate. They didn't radiate from the body. They surrounded it, equidistant, like the points of a compass rose with one point missing. "Four marks," she murmured. "Should be five." "Detective Quinn?" The voice came from the stairs. Quinn turned to see a woman descending carefully, one hand on the wall, a worn leather satchel clutched against her hip. She was small — five-four at most — with curly red hair and round glasses that caught the light of the fairy bulbs and threw it back in gold. Her freckled face was flushed, either from the warmth down here or from hurrying. "You can't be here," Quinn said flatly. "This is a crime scene." "I know. DCI Farrow sent me. I'm Eva Kowalski — I'm a research consultant, British Museum. The DCI said you'd want someone who could identify the — the merchandise." Eva's eyes moved past Quinn to the rows of stalls, and something in her expression shifted. Recognition, Quinn thought. And something else. Fear, quickly mastered. "Farrow didn't mention a consultant." "He will, if you ring him. I'm on his call list for — unusual cases." Eva tucked a curl of red hair behind her left ear and adjusted her satchel. "I've signed the NDA. I have clearance for restricted scenes." Quinn studied her for three long seconds, then pulled her phone from her coat. No signal. Of course — they were deep underground. She looked at Sheldon. "Go up. Confirm with DCI Farrow that a Miss Kowalski is expected." Sheldon practically ran for the stairs, grateful for an excuse to leave. Quinn turned back to Eva, who had not moved from the bottom step but whose eyes were everywhere — the stalls, the scattered jars, the fairy lights, the body. Her lips moved slightly, not speaking, reading. Quinn followed her gaze to the stall nearest the body. On its overturned surface, half-hidden by a fallen cloth, there were symbols chalked in white. The same style of markings she'd seen on the compass face. "Do you know what this place is?" Quinn asked. Eva's hand went to the strap of her satchel. She gripped it the way some people gripped rosary beads. "It's called the Veil Market. It moves locations every full moon. I've read about it, but I've never —" She stopped, corrected herself. "I've never been inside during a police action." Quinn noted the correction. Filed it. "What do they sell here?" "Rare antiquities, mostly. Some of it occult-adjacent — ritual tools, manuscripts, herbal preparations. Things that fall in the grey area between cultural artifact and controlled substance." Eva's voice was careful, practiced. She'd given this explanation before. "And the lights? There's no power down here." Eva glanced at the nearest string of Edison bulbs. Her throat moved as she swallowed. "I couldn't say." Quinn let the lie sit between them for a moment, then walked back to the body. "Come here. Tell me what you see." Eva approached slowly. She stood at the dead man's feet and looked down at him, and Quinn watched her face rather than the corpse. She saw the moment Eva registered the blackened fingers, the dark veins, the frozen expression. The color left Eva's freckled cheeks entirely. Her hand came up and tucked the same curl behind her left ear again. "That's not — this isn't a normal —" Eva stopped. Drew a breath. Pushed her glasses up her nose with one finger and started again, her voice lower, more controlled. "The discoloration. On his hands and chest. It's consistent with descriptions I've read of exposure to unshielded rift energy. The texts call it shadow burn. When someone gets too close to a breach between — between different types of space — without proper warding, the energy metabolizes in the tissue. Turns it necrotic from the inside." "Different types of space," Quinn repeated. "I know how it sounds." "You're telling me this man was killed by a door." "I'm telling you that the historical literature describes a phenomenon that matches what I'm looking at, and in that literature, the cause is proximity to what the sources call a rift. A thin place. A point where the boundary between here and somewhere else breaks down." Eva's chin came up. Behind the round glasses, her green eyes were steady now. "You asked what I see. That's what I see." Quinn looked at the four scorch marks on the floor. She looked at the body lying between them. She thought about the compass in its evidence bag, its black needle tracking something that moved on the other side of a wall. "You said four scorch marks should be five." "I didn't say that. You did." Quinn studied her. "But you agree." Eva crouched near the nearest mark, careful not to touch it. "Containment wards are typically anchored at five points. Four to define the boundary, one to seal it. If someone set up a containment pattern here and the fifth anchor failed — or was removed — then whatever was being contained would have been released." She looked up at Quinn. "Violently." Quinn turned back to the body. She pictured it now: the man standing at the center of five marks, performing some kind of ritual — she hated that word, but there it was — and the fifth point failing. The stalls knocked over by a blast radiating outward. The vendors at the far end fleeing, leaving everything behind. And the man at the center, caught in something he couldn't survive. "Who removed the fifth anchor?" Eva stood slowly. "That's the question, isn't it." Quinn walked to where the fifth mark should have been, based on the geometry of the other four. The tile there was clean. Not just unmarked — clean, scrubbed, in a station that hadn't seen a maintenance crew in seventy years. Someone had been on their knees with a brush, erasing the fifth point while the other four still burned. She crouched and ran a gloved finger along the grout between the tiles. It came away with a faint residue — not soot, not chalk, but something granular and dark that seemed to absorb the light from the fairy bulbs rather than reflect it. "Someone murdered him," Quinn said quietly. "Not with a gun. Not with a knife. They removed one component from a system and let the system kill him." Eva said nothing. Her hand was in her satchel now, gripping something she didn't pull out. Quinn stood and faced her. "I need to know what was on this spot. The exact substance, the exact marks. I need to know what that compass is and where it came from. And I need to know who had access to this market tonight." "You'll need a bone token for that list," Eva said, then caught herself. "I mean — entry to the market requires a specific pass. A token made from bone. Everyone who enters receives one and surrenders it on the way out. There should be a ledger." "Where?" Eva looked toward a narrow archway at the far end of the platform that Quinn hadn't noticed before — a service passage, half-hidden behind a hanging drape of dark fabric. "The market's keeper would have it. But the keeper moves with the market, and by now —" "— by now the market's moved." Quinn checked her watch. The worn leather band was damp with the underground heat. "When was the last full moon?" "Three days ago." Which meant this location was freshly abandoned. The market had moved on and left behind a dead man and a hundred stalls' worth of merchandise that no one had come back to claim. Because they were afraid of what had happened here. Or because whoever had erased that fifth mark had wanted the body found. Quinn pulled out her notebook and began to write, recording every detail in the tight, angular hand she'd developed over eighteen years of service. The lights hummed overhead, impossibly bright, impossibly powered. The compass needle drifted in its evidence bag, pointing steadily at the far wall, and beyond the far wall, at something Quinn couldn't see and wasn't sure she wanted to. But she would find it. She always did. Even when the evidence asked her to believe in things that broke the world she understood — she followed it. She owed Morris that much. She owed herself the truth.
created_at"2026-02-24T22:32:51.33Z" 2/24/2026, 10:32:51 PM
model"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1650
moderation_latency179
generation_time104253
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion3861
native_tokens_prompt955
native_tokens_completion3540
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning188
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.093275
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"a8708fb9-08ea-43bb-a3b1-165c87ef09df"
id"9022a6f7-315c-4f33-b27b-6e4f0bf5bad8"
is_byokfalse
latency1611
model_permaslug"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771972371-PqAM7a2RBUEmIi9FvHEL"
upstream_id"9022a6f7-315c-4f33-b27b-6e4f0bf5bad8"
total_cost0.093275
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags17
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"Quinn said flatly [flatly]"
1"Quinn said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences54
tagDensity0.315
leniency0.63
rawRatio0.118
effectiveRatio0.074
89.71% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2430
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"carefully"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
3
adverb"slowly"
count2
highlights
0"carefully"
1"quickly"
2"slightly"
3"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
81.48% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2430
totalAiIsms9
found
0
word"shattered"
count1
1
word"pulse"
count2
2
word"methodical"
count1
3
word"silk"
count2
4
word"etched"
count1
5
word"intricate"
count1
6
word"warmth"
count1
highlights
0"shattered"
1"pulse"
2"methodical"
3"silk"
4"etched"
5"intricate"
6"warmth"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences154
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences154
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences191
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen54
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2463
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions62
wordCount1812
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity1.71
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Harlow1
Quinn31
Tube1
Camden1
Transport1
London1
Edison2
Sheldon5
Rotherhithe1
Morris2
Eva15
Recognition1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Camden"
3"Edison"
4"Sheldon"
5"Morris"
6"Eva"
places
0"Transport"
1"London"
2"Rotherhithe"
globalScore0.645
windowScore0.333
74.24% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences99
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"felt like dried leaves but wasn't"
1"something like it once before, three years a"
2"as though tracking something that was itself in motion"
37.60% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.624
wordCount2463
matches
0"not numbers, not compass points, but something intricate"
1"not compass points, but something intricate"
2"not soot, not chalk, but something granular"
3"not chalk, but something granular"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences191
matches
0"shut that thought"
1"hated that word"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs69
mean35.7
std27.65
cv0.775
sampleLengths
055
185
29
356
466
56
635
73
850
984
1016
1170
1265
134
1445
1550
169
1773
1897
196
2054
2186
2260
237
242
2570
2612
2754
285
2940
3039
3112
3272
339
3450
356
365
3736
388
3918
4023
4160
4286
436
445
4510
4669
4741
488
496
87.04% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount8
totalSentences154
matches
0"been sealed"
1"been filled"
2"were blackened"
3"was etched"
4"were overturned"
5"been knocked"
6"was flushed"
7"been, based"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs322
matches
0"was still burning"
1"was already cataloguing"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount22
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences18
totalSentences191
ratio0.094
matches
0"Not the expected rot of a body left underground — this was something sharper, metallic and sweet at once, like pennies dropped into honey."
1"And yet someone had strung fairy lights — actual glass-bulbed Edison strings, not battery-powered — along the tiled walls of the old platform, and every one of them was still burning."
2"Glass jars shattered across the tiles, their contents — dried herbs, powders in colors she couldn't name, things that moved even though they shouldn't — scattered and ground underfoot."
3"She checked his neck first — no pulse, skin cool but not cold, no lividity that she could see."
4"The dark tracery didn't just travel up his arms — it spread across his chest beneath the open collar of his shirt, branching like the roots of a tree, converging over his sternum."
5"Not pain — she'd seen pain on a dead man's face before, and this wasn't it."
6"The face was etched with symbols she didn't recognize — not numbers, not compass points, but something intricate and deliberate, like a language she'd never seen."
7"She turned a slow circle, letting her eyes move without focusing, the way her first DI had taught her — don't look for what's wrong, let what's wrong find you."
8"She counted four of them — dark, asymmetric burns on the tile floor, each roughly the size of a dinner plate, arranged in a pattern that might have been random but felt deliberate."
9"She was small — five-four at most — with curly red hair and round glasses that caught the light of the fairy bulbs and threw it back in gold."
10"Of course — they were deep underground."
11"Quinn turned back to Eva, who had not moved from the bottom step but whose eyes were everywhere — the stalls, the scattered jars, the fairy lights, the body."
12"She pictured it now: the man standing at the center of five marks, performing some kind of ritual — she hated that word, but there it was — and the fifth point failing."
13"Not just unmarked — clean, scrubbed, in a station that hadn't seen a maintenance crew in seventy years."
14"It came away with a faint residue — not soot, not chalk, but something granular and dark that seemed to absorb the light from the fairy bulbs rather than reflect it."
15"Eva looked toward a narrow archway at the far end of the platform that Quinn hadn't noticed before — a service passage, half-hidden behind a hanging drape of dark fabric."
16"\"— by now the market's moved.\" Quinn checked her watch."
17"Even when the evidence asked her to believe in things that broke the world she understood — she followed it."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1624
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"actual glass-bulbed Edison"
adverbCount46
adverbRatio0.02832512315270936
lyAdverbCount14
lyAdverbRatio0.008620689655172414
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences191
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences191
mean12.9
std10.8
cv0.837
sampleLengths
05
124
226
317
44
514
631
76
85
94
104
119
1237
1311
148
151
1618
1710
1829
196
202
216
2226
239
243
2536
2614
274
2815
296
3027
3132
3216
3328
341
3513
3615
373
382
398
408
4119
425
4333
444
4521
4624
479
485
493
51.48% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats15
diversityRatio0.35602094240837695
totalSentences191
uniqueOpeners68
71.94% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences139
matches
0"Too warm for an underground"
1"Then there were the scorch"
2"Of course — they were"
ratio0.022
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount40
totalSentences139
matches
0"She made a note of"
1"She was already cataloguing the"
2"He jerked his chin toward"
3"Her shoes crunched on broken"
4"She'd felt something like it"
5"She shut that thought down"
6"He was on his back,"
7"His expression was one of"
8"She checked his neck first"
9"She lifted his right hand."
10"She leaned closer."
11"She sat back on her"
12"She checked his pockets with"
13"It swung in a slow,"
14"She wrapped the compass back"
15"She turned a slow circle,"
16"They'd simply walked away from"
17"She counted four of them"
18"They didn't radiate from the"
19"They surrounded it, equidistant, like"
ratio0.288
67.91% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount109
totalSentences139
matches
0"The smell hit her first."
1"Detective Harlow Quinn ducked beneath"
2"The abandoned Tube station beneath"
3"Quinn had checked twice."
4"She made a note of"
5"The lights just burned."
6"The voice belonged to PC"
7"Quinn stepped over the cracked"
8"She was already cataloguing the"
9"Dozens of them, arranged in"
10"Glass jars shattered across the"
11"Someone had left in a"
12"He jerked his chin toward"
13"Quinn walked past him."
14"Her shoes crunched on broken"
15"The air down here was"
16"She'd felt something like it"
17"She shut that thought down"
18"The body lay between two"
19"He was on his back,"
ratio0.784
71.94% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences139
matches
0"Because they were afraid of"
1"Even when the evidence asked"
ratio0.014
51.02% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences70
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"The voice belonged to PC Sheldon, the first officer on scene, a lanky twenty-three-year-old who stood at the bottom of the stairs with his torch aimed at the gr…"
1"Glass jars shattered across the tiles, their contents — dried herbs, powders in colors she couldn't name, things that moved even though they shouldn't — scatter…"
2"She'd felt something like it once before, three years ago, in a warehouse in Rotherhithe where DS Morris had walked through a door that shouldn't have existed a…"
3"The fingers were blackened at the tips, as though he'd dipped them in ink, except the discoloration went beneath the nails and traveled up the veins to the wris…"
4"The dark tracery didn't just travel up his arms — it spread across his chest beneath the open collar of his shirt, branching like the roots of a tree, convergin…"
5"It swung in a slow, purposeful arc toward the far wall of the station, then held steady, then drifted back, as though tracking something that was itself in moti…"
6"She counted four of them — dark, asymmetric burns on the tile floor, each roughly the size of a dinner plate, arranged in a pattern that might have been random …"
7"She was small — five-four at most — with curly red hair and round glasses that caught the light of the fairy bulbs and threw it back in gold."
8"Quinn turned back to Eva, who had not moved from the bottom step but whose eyes were everywhere — the stalls, the scattered jars, the fairy lights, the body."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags17
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"she murmured (murmur)"
1"Quinn repeated (repeat)"
dialogueSentences54
tagDensity0.13
leniency0.259
rawRatio0.286
effectiveRatio0.074
83.7235%