Run: 2026-02-24-01KJ8WS5E3S34AWE03354F0JXW

Run Details

Duration:
1m 29s
Cost:
$0.091775
Provider:
Amazon Bedrock

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain came sidelong, driven by a wind that funneled through the narrow streets of Camden like breath through a straw. Harlow Quinn kept her eyes on the figure thirty meters ahead — the dark jacket, the short curly hair plastered flat by the downpour, the way he moved with the fluid economy of someone who knew these streets better than she did. Tomás Herrera. Tommy, as the file called him. Former paramedic, current person of extreme interest, and right now the fastest thing on two legs north of the Thames. She pushed harder, her boots slapping through puddles that reflected the blurred neon of shuttered storefronts. Her lungs burned. Eighteen years on the force and she still ran like she was chasing down her first collar, but the body at forty-one didn't recover the way it used to. She could feel the complaint in her left knee, the old protest from a foot pursuit in Brixton that had ended with a fence and a bad landing. Herrera glanced back. She caught the flash of his face under a streetlamp — olive skin, wide eyes, the white gleam of something at his throat. A medallion. Saint Christopher, according to the surveillance photos. Patron saint of travelers. She hoped the saint was leading him somewhere with a dead end. He cut left down Hawley Crescent, and she followed, nearly losing her footing on a slick metal grate. The rain was relentless. It turned the street into a mirror of itself, doubling the amber streetlights into smeared columns that stretched toward her feet. She keyed her radio with one hand, not breaking stride. "Dispatch, this is Quinn. I'm in foot pursuit of a suspect heading south through Camden Market area. Male, late twenties, dark jacket, jeans. Requesting backup." Static answered her. She tried again. More static, thick and strange, underlaid with something that sounded almost like whispering. She swore under her breath and shoved the radio back onto her belt. Herrera vaulted a low fence at the edge of the market stalls — the daytime ones, locked up now behind corrugated shutters and padlocked gates. She went over after him, her hands stinging against the wet metal. On the other side, the market opened into a labyrinth of narrow alleys between stall frames, canvas tarps snapping overhead in the wind. The smell hit her: old incense, fried food, the mineral tang of rain on concrete. She'd lost visual. She stopped, controlled her breathing, listened. The rain was a constant hiss against every surface, but beneath it she caught the scrape of a shoe on stone. To her right. She moved, keeping close to the stall walls, her right hand hovering near her hip where her extendable baton sat in its holster. No firearm — this was London, and she was CID, not an armed response unit. She'd never wanted one before. Tonight, the absence registered differently. The scraping led her to a set of stairs she'd never noticed in all her years walking Camden. They descended between two shuttered food stalls, tucked behind a rubbish bin and a stack of broken pallets. Concrete steps, narrow, lit by a single caged bulb that threw sickly yellow light down into a darkness that swallowed everything below the fourth step. The bulb swung in the wind, making the shadows lurch. She paused at the top. Rain dripped from her closely cropped hair, ran down the sharp line of her jaw, collected in the hollow of her throat. She checked her watch — the worn leather band dark with water — and noted the time. 11:47 PM. If she didn't come back up, someone should know when she went down. The steps showed wet footprints. Fresh. Herrera had gone this way less than a minute ago. Quinn pulled out her phone and tried to call it in. No signal. Not even a single bar. She'd had full coverage thirty seconds ago at street level. She looked at the screen, at her own face reflected ghostlike in the glass, and felt something she hadn't felt since the night Morris died. That particular species of wrongness. The feeling of standing at the edge of a room whose dimensions didn't match what her eyes reported. Three years. Three years since DS Arthur Morris had walked into a warehouse in Deptford following a lead on a smuggling ring and never walked back out. They'd found the warehouse empty. Not just empty of Morris — empty of everything. No dust. No rats. No cobwebs. Every surface scrubbed to a molecular cleanliness that the forensic team said was, in their professional opinion, impossible. Morris's radio had been recovered on the floor, still warm, as if he'd just set it down. His voice on the last transmission had been calm, measured, and wrong. He'd said, "Quinn, the walls are further apart than they should be," and then nothing. The investigation had gone nowhere. The file sat in a drawer in her desk, and she opened it once a week, every Monday, the way some people visited graves. Now she stood at the top of another set of stairs, and the wrongness was back. She descended. The stairs went deeper than they had any right to. She counted thirty steps, then forty, then lost count as the stairwell curved and the caged bulbs gave way to a dim luminescence that seemed to come from the walls themselves — a faint, blue-green phosphorescence that reminded her of the bioluminescent algae she'd seen once on a holiday in Wales. The concrete gave way to old tile, then to Victorian brickwork, and she realized she was in the bones of an old Tube station. One of the ghost stations, maybe. Camden had them — most of London did, sealed up and forgotten, existing in the margins of the city's memory. What she found at the bottom was not forgotten. Not by the people here. The tunnel opened into a vaulted chamber that had once been a platform, and it was full of light and sound and bodies. Lanterns hung from hooks driven into the tile walls, casting a warm, shifting glow over dozens of stalls. Not the canvas-and-folding-table affairs of the market above. These were built from old wood and brass, ornate, some of them enclosed, some of them open, their wares displayed on velvet and glass. The air smelled of smoke and copper and something floral she couldn't name, something that made her sinuses ache. People moved between the stalls — and she used the word "people" loosely, because some of them were not, or not entirely. She saw a woman whose skin had the iridescent quality of an oil slick. A man whose shadow moved independently of his body, crouching and stretching against the wall like a separate organism. A child — no, something child-shaped — with too many teeth, browsing a display of bottled liquids that glowed in colors she wasn't sure she had names for. The Veil Market. She'd heard the name whispered in a dozen different interrogation rooms over the past eighteen months, always by people who immediately claimed they'd misspoken or didn't know what she was talking about. Every time she'd pulled the thread, it had gone nowhere. A rumor. An urban legend. Something the fringe informants talked about when they wanted to seem more connected than they were. It was real. It was enormous. And she was standing in it without backup, without a weapon that would matter, and without any understanding of the rules. She pressed herself against the wall near the tunnel entrance, trying to make herself small, trying to observe before she was observed. Her training asserted itself: scan the space, identify exits, locate the target. The platform stretched in both directions, curving with the old track line, and she could see at least three other tunnel mouths that people were using as entrances and exits. Each one had a figure standing near it, not quite blocking it, but present. Gatekeepers. She noticed that everyone who entered produced something small from a pocket or bag and held it up briefly — a token of some kind, pale and irregular in shape. Bone. The word surfaced from one of those dead-end interrogations. A bone token. She didn't have one. She'd come in through what must have been an unguarded entrance, following Herrera, who presumably did have one. Which meant that eventually someone would notice her. Someone who wouldn't be pleased. She spotted Herrera. He was forty meters down the platform, standing at a stall draped in dark red cloth, speaking to a vendor she couldn't see clearly. His jacket was still wet, and his Saint Christopher medallion caught the lantern light as he leaned forward. She could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he kept glancing behind him. He knew she'd been close. He didn't know if she'd followed him down. Quinn weighed it. The calculus was brutal in its simplicity. She could turn around, climb those stairs, and return to the world she understood. She could file a report about an underground market in an abandoned Tube station beneath Camden, and it would be investigated by people with resources and authority, and it would be handled properly. By the book. The way Morris would have done it. Except Morris had done everything by the book, and the book hadn't saved him. And Quinn knew — with the bone-deep certainty that had kept her alive through eighteen years of police work — that if she left now, this entrance would be gone by morning. The market moved. She'd heard that too. Every full moon, someone had said. She didn't know when the next full moon was, but she knew that opportunities like this didn't recur. They came once, and you either seized them or spent the rest of your career wondering. Herrera was connected to the clique she'd been investigating for months. The clique was connected to a string of incidents she couldn't explain through conventional means. And those incidents shared a quality — a texture, a flavor of wrongness — with what had happened to Morris. She couldn't prove it. She couldn't even articulate it in a way that wouldn't get her referred to Occupational Health. But the connection was there, a thread of silk in the dark, and Herrera was holding the other end of it. She pulled her collar up, tucked her radio and warrant card deeper into her jacket, and moved along the wall toward Herrera's position. She kept her pace unhurried, mimicking the browsing gait of the other market-goers. A woman to her left was selling jars of what appeared to be preserved eyes floating in amber liquid. A man to her right had a table covered in old keys, each one labeled with a small tag written in a script she didn't recognize. She didn't stare. She didn't react. She walked the way she walked through any crime scene — with her eyes open and her face closed. The scar on Herrera's left forearm was visible as he reached across the stall's counter. A knife wound, according to the file. He'd been attacked by a patient, or so the NHS report said. The patient in question had later been described by three separate witnesses as having been clinically dead for six hours before he sat up and started swinging. That detail had been quietly removed from the official record. Quinn had found it in a supplementary statement that someone had failed to redact properly. She was ten meters away when Herrera straightened, pocketed something small, and turned. His eyes found hers immediately, as if he'd known exactly where she was. The warm brown of his irises went wide, then narrow. He didn't run. That surprised her. He stood very still, the way a man stands when he's realized that running will only make things worse. "Detective Quinn," he said. His accent was soft, the vowels shaped by Seville, blunted by years in London. "You shouldn't be here." "And yet." She stopped three meters from him, close enough to read the inscription on his medallion, far enough to react if he bolted. "Tomás Herrera. I'd like to have a conversation." "Not here." His voice had dropped. He glanced past her, scanning the crowd, and she saw genuine fear in the set of his mouth. "You have no idea what you've walked into." "Then educate me." He shook his head, a quick, tight motion. "There are people in this market who can smell a police officer the way a dog smells fear. Human police. You've got maybe three minutes before someone takes an interest, and when they do, your warrant card won't protect you. Nothing you carry will protect you." She held his gaze. The lantern light moved across his face, and for a moment, she saw something in his expression that she recognized. Not guilt. Not defiance. Grief. The particular exhaustion of someone who had been carrying a weight for too long and had forgotten what it felt like to stand straight. "Then we'd better talk fast," she said. Behind her, somewhere in the depths of the market, something howled — low and sustained and wrong, the sound curling through the vaulted chamber like smoke. Several of the nearest vendors paused. A few of the shoppers moved toward the exits with studied casualness. Herrera's hand closed around her wrist. His grip was firm, professional — a paramedic's grip, trained to hold people still. "Not here," he said again. "I know a place. The Raven's Nest, in Soho. There's a back room. You want answers about what happened to your partner — yes, I know about Morris — then meet me there tomorrow night. Nine o'clock. And for God's sake, Detective, walk out of here slowly and don't make eye contact with anything that doesn't have the right number of eyes." He released her wrist and walked away, moving into the crowd with the ease of someone who belonged. Quinn stood alone among the stalls, the howl still fading in the tunnels, the rain a distant memory above her head, and felt the ground shift beneath everything she had ever believed about the city she served. She turned. She walked toward the stairs. She did not look back. But she would. Tomorrow night. Nine o'clock. The Raven's Nest. She climbed the steps two at a time, counting each one, and when she emerged into the rain-soaked streets of Camden, she filled her lungs with cold, wet, ordinary air. Her phone buzzed immediately — four missed calls, two texts, full signal restored. The city reassembled itself around her: the traffic noise, the distant siren, the amber glow of streetlamps on wet tarmac. All of it real. All of it thin. She wiped the rain from her watch face and checked the time. 12:03 AM. Sixteen minutes. It had felt like an hour. It had felt like ten seconds. Quinn walked to the nearest main road, hailed a cab, and sat in the back seat with water pooling around her boots, watching London slide past the window. She pressed her thumb against the place on her wrist where Herrera's fingers had been and thought about Morris, about warehouses that were too clean, about walls that were further apart than they should be. Tomorrow night. Nine o'clock. She'd be there.
created_at"2026-02-24T22:37:09.964Z" 2/24/2026, 10:37:09 PM
model"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1419
moderation_latency64
generation_time89009
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion3832
native_tokens_prompt935
native_tokens_completion3484
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning58
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.091775
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"a8708fb9-08ea-43bb-a3b1-165c87ef09df"
id"491f034e-427c-469e-8924-5d0dd31e4bc7"
is_byokfalse
latency1385
model_permaslug"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771972629-S4absUjL286eXx0cs5ob"
upstream_id"491f034e-427c-469e-8924-5d0dd31e4bc7"
total_cost0.091775
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
57.14% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags7
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"he said again [again]"
dialogueSentences14
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio0.143
effectiveRatio0.143
94.10% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2542
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"loosely"
count1
1
adverb"very"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"loosely"
1"very"
2"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
82.30% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2542
totalAiIsms9
found
0
word"could feel"
count1
1
word"lurch"
count1
2
word"measured"
count1
3
word"velvet"
count1
4
word"tension"
count1
5
word"silk"
count1
6
word"scanning"
count1
7
word"weight"
count1
8
word"depths"
count1
highlights
0"could feel"
1"lurch"
2"measured"
3"velvet"
4"tension"
5"silk"
6"scanning"
7"weight"
8"depths"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences194
matches(empty)
98.67% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences194
filterMatches
0"watch "
1"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"seemed to"
2"happened to"
3"appeared to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences201
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen60
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2565
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions13
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions59
wordCount2385
uniqueNames24
maxNameDensity0.55
worstName"Herrera"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Herrera"
discoveredNames
Camden5
Quinn7
Herrera13
Thames1
Brixton1
Christopher2
Hawley1
Crescent1
London4
Morris8
Arthur1
Deptford1
Monday1
Wales1
Victorian1
Tube2
Veil1
Market1
Saint2
Occupational1
Health1
Seville1
Raven1
Nest1
persons
0"Camden"
1"Quinn"
2"Herrera"
3"Christopher"
4"Morris"
5"Arthur"
6"Market"
7"Saint"
8"Raven"
places
0"Thames"
1"Brixton"
2"Hawley"
3"Crescent"
4"London"
5"Wales"
6"Victorian"
7"Occupational"
8"Seville"
globalScore1
windowScore1
48.37% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences123
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"luminescence that seemed to come from the walls themselves — a faint, blue-green phosphorescence that reminded her of the bioluminescent algae she'd seen once on a holiday in Wales"
1"not quite blocking it, but present"
2"felt like to stand straight"
3"felt like an hour"
4"felt like ten seconds"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.39
wordCount2565
matches
0"not quite blocking it, but present"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount4
totalSentences201
matches
0"mouths that people"
1"noticed that everyone"
2"knew that opportunities"
3"realized that running"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs48
mean53.44
std32.11
cv0.601
sampleLengths
091
176
251
353
425
532
675
781
871
959
1016
1176
12109
1329
1416
152
16111
1714
1892
1983
2066
2127
22122
2335
2473
2567
2693
2787
28106
2986
3061
3122
3232
3332
343
3554
3653
377
3844
3920
4067
4155
4212
4310
4471
4528
4663
477
94.41% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount6
totalSentences194
matches
0"been recovered"
1"were built"
2"was connected"
3"was connected"
4"been attacked"
5"been described"
83.04% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount7
totalVerbs399
matches
0"was chasing"
1"was leading"
2"was talking"
3"was standing"
4"were using"
5"was holding"
6"was selling"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount21
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences17
totalSentences201
ratio0.085
matches
0"Harlow Quinn kept her eyes on the figure thirty meters ahead — the dark jacket, the short curly hair plastered flat by the downpour, the way he moved with the fluid economy of someone who knew these streets better than she did."
1"She caught the flash of his face under a streetlamp — olive skin, wide eyes, the white gleam of something at his throat."
2"Herrera vaulted a low fence at the edge of the market stalls — the daytime ones, locked up now behind corrugated shutters and padlocked gates."
3"No firearm — this was London, and she was CID, not an armed response unit."
4"She checked her watch — the worn leather band dark with water — and noted the time."
5"Not just empty of Morris — empty of everything."
6"She counted thirty steps, then forty, then lost count as the stairwell curved and the caged bulbs gave way to a dim luminescence that seemed to come from the walls themselves — a faint, blue-green phosphorescence that reminded her of the bioluminescent algae she'd seen once on a holiday in Wales."
7"Camden had them — most of London did, sealed up and forgotten, existing in the margins of the city's memory."
8"People moved between the stalls — and she used the word \"people\" loosely, because some of them were not, or not entirely."
9"A child — no, something child-shaped — with too many teeth, browsing a display of bottled liquids that glowed in colors she wasn't sure she had names for."
10"She noticed that everyone who entered produced something small from a pocket or bag and held it up briefly — a token of some kind, pale and irregular in shape."
11"And Quinn knew — with the bone-deep certainty that had kept her alive through eighteen years of police work — that if she left now, this entrance would be gone by morning."
12"And those incidents shared a quality — a texture, a flavor of wrongness — with what had happened to Morris."
13"She walked the way she walked through any crime scene — with her eyes open and her face closed."
14"Behind her, somewhere in the depths of the market, something howled — low and sustained and wrong, the sound curling through the vaulted chamber like smoke."
15"His grip was firm, professional — a paramedic's grip, trained to hold people still."
16"Her phone buzzed immediately — four missed calls, two texts, full signal restored."
82.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2374
adjectiveStacks3
stackExamples
0"Former paramedic, current person"
1"faint, blue-green phosphorescence"
2"cold, wet, ordinary air."
adverbCount76
adverbRatio0.03201347935973041
lyAdverbCount21
lyAdverbRatio0.008845829823083403
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences201
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences201
mean12.76
std10.31
cv0.808
sampleLengths
021
142
22
36
420
516
63
729
828
93
1023
112
127
134
1412
1518
164
1721
1810
1925
203
213
2213
2313
2425
2512
2623
2715
283
296
3021
313
3223
3315
345
355
3618
3718
3825
3910
405
4122
4217
432
4413
455
461
4710
4811
492
43.45% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats21
diversityRatio0.32338308457711445
totalSentences201
uniqueOpeners65
0.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount0
totalSentences169
matches(empty)
ratio0
44.85% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount74
totalSentences169
matches
0"She pushed harder, her boots"
1"Her lungs burned."
2"She could feel the complaint"
3"She caught the flash of"
4"She hoped the saint was"
5"He cut left down Hawley"
6"It turned the street into"
7"She keyed her radio with"
8"She tried again."
9"She swore under her breath"
10"She went over after him,"
11"She'd lost visual."
12"She stopped, controlled her breathing,"
13"She moved, keeping close to"
14"She'd never wanted one before."
15"They descended between two shuttered"
16"She paused at the top."
17"She checked her watch —"
18"She'd had full coverage thirty"
19"She looked at the screen,"
ratio0.438
42.84% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount141
totalSentences169
matches
0"The rain came sidelong, driven"
1"Harlow Quinn kept her eyes"
2"Tommy, as the file called"
3"She pushed harder, her boots"
4"Her lungs burned."
5"She could feel the complaint"
6"Herrera glanced back."
7"She caught the flash of"
8"Saint Christopher, according to the"
9"Patron saint of travelers."
10"She hoped the saint was"
11"He cut left down Hawley"
12"The rain was relentless."
13"It turned the street into"
14"She keyed her radio with"
15"Static answered her."
16"She tried again."
17"She swore under her breath"
18"Herrera vaulted a low fence"
19"She went over after him,"
ratio0.834
88.76% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences169
matches
0"To her right."
1"If she didn't come back"
2"Now she stood at the"
ratio0.018
39.84% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences104
technicalSentenceCount15
matches
0"Harlow Quinn kept her eyes on the figure thirty meters ahead — the dark jacket, the short curly hair plastered flat by the downpour, the way he moved with the f…"
1"She pushed harder, her boots slapping through puddles that reflected the blurred neon of shuttered storefronts."
2"It turned the street into a mirror of itself, doubling the amber streetlights into smeared columns that stretched toward her feet."
3"More static, thick and strange, underlaid with something that sounded almost like whispering."
4"The scraping led her to a set of stairs she'd never noticed in all her years walking Camden."
5"Concrete steps, narrow, lit by a single caged bulb that threw sickly yellow light down into a darkness that swallowed everything below the fourth step."
6"She counted thirty steps, then forty, then lost count as the stairwell curved and the caged bulbs gave way to a dim luminescence that seemed to come from the wa…"
7"The air smelled of smoke and copper and something floral she couldn't name, something that made her sinuses ache."
8"A man whose shadow moved independently of his body, crouching and stretching against the wall like a separate organism."
9"A child — no, something child-shaped — with too many teeth, browsing a display of bottled liquids that glowed in colors she wasn't sure she had names for."
10"She noticed that everyone who entered produced something small from a pocket or bag and held it up briefly — a token of some kind, pale and irregular in shape."
11"And Quinn knew — with the bone-deep certainty that had kept her alive through eighteen years of police work — that if she left now, this entrance would be gone …"
12"The particular exhaustion of someone who had been carrying a weight for too long and had forgotten what it felt like to stand straight."
13"Quinn walked to the nearest main road, hailed a cab, and sat in the back seat with water pooling around her boots, watching London slide past the window."
14"She pressed her thumb against the place on her wrist where Herrera's fingers had been and thought about Morris, about warehouses that were too clean, about wall…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags7
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
78.57% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags4
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"He'd (would)"
dialogueSentences14
tagDensity0.286
leniency0.571
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.143
79.2782%