Run: 2026-02-24-01KJ8WTXEE691215QDGHH2XTB2

Run Details

Duration:
1m 11s
Cost:
$0.078500
Provider:
Amazon Bedrock

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The pendant burned against Rory's sternum like a second heartbeat. She'd felt it quicken a half-mile back, when the three of them had crossed into Richmond Park under a sky bruised purple with early dusk. By the time they passed Isolde's standing oaks — those impossible sentinels whose bark had fused into something more like stone than wood — the crimson gem was pulsing so fiercely she could see its glow through her jacket, a hot coal nestled against her chest. Now it throbbed in time with a sound she couldn't quite hear, a resonance below the threshold of her ears, more pressure than noise. The air ahead of them shivered. Not wind. Not heat distortion. Something deeper, as though reality itself had taken a breath and forgotten to exhale. "That's it," Rory said, though no one had asked. She could see the rift. A vertical crease in the twilight, barely three feet wide, running from the grass to a height just above Nyx's incorporeal head. Through it, colors bled that had no business existing in a London park — amber and gold and something warmer still, a hue she had no name for. Isolde stopped walking. She left no mark in the soft earth where she'd stood, and the wildflowers — crocuses, impossibly, in this season — swayed back upright as though she weighed nothing at all. Her pale lavender eyes fixed on the rift with an expression Rory couldn't read. Fondness, maybe. Or grief. "A door remembers every foot that crosses it," the Seer said. Her silver hair lifted in a breeze that touched nothing else. "And every foot remembers the door." "Meaning what, exactly?" Rory kept her voice level. Three months of cryptic pronouncements from the half-Fae woman had taught her that demanding clarity only earned longer riddles. Isolde tilted her head, ageless and infuriating. "Meaning you will not come back the same." Nyx drifted forward. In the fading light of the park, they were barely visible — a tall humanoid absence, a place where shadow pooled and thickened into something with intent. Their violet eyes floated like foxfire in a silhouette that the rift's amber glow couldn't quite penetrate. When they spoke, the words arrived as though carried from a great distance, a whisper threaded through wind. "The Veil is thin here. Thinner than it should be this far from solstice." A pause. The shadow-form rippled. "Something on the other side has been pulling." Rory's hand found the Fae blade at her hip. The leaf-shaped dagger was cold as always, moonsilver biting through the leather sheath into her palm. She drew a slow breath. The pendant pulsed. The rift shimmered. She stepped through. The world turned inside out. There was no transition — no tunnel, no corridor of light, no gradual dissolve from one place to another. One moment her boot pressed damp English grass, and the next it sank into soil so dark and rich it looked like coffee grounds, and the sky above her was the color of warm amber, and the air smelled like nothing she had ever encountered in twenty-five years of living. Rory gasped. Not from fear. From the sheer sensory weight of it. The smell hit first and hardest — roasting stone fruit, caramelized sugar, woodsmoke, and beneath it all something vegetal and alive, the concentrated essence of a thousand growing things exhaling at once. Her mouth watered before her brain could catch up. Her stomach clenched with a sudden, ferocious hunger that had nothing to do with having skipped lunch. Then her eyes adjusted, and she forgot about hunger entirely. They stood at the crest of a low hill, and below them Dymas unfolded like something dreamed by a painter who'd gone mad in the most beautiful way possible. Vineyards cascaded down terraced slopes in rows so precise they looked etched, their leaves a deep viridian that seemed to pulse with internal light. Between the vine rows, fruit hung in clusters she couldn't identify — too large for grapes, too luminous, their skins shifting color as she watched, cycling from plum-dark to a blushing gold. Beyond the vineyards, orchards spread in concentric rings around structures that might have been kitchens or temples or both. Smoke rose from chimneys shaped like open mouths. Rory could hear, faintly, the rhythmic percussion of knives on cutting boards — dozens of them, maybe hundreds, a polyrhythmic chopping that rose and fell like rain on a tin roof. And beneath that, music. Something stringed and low, keening in a minor key. "God," she breathed. "Not quite," Nyx whispered from behind her. The Shade had come through the rift in a pour of darkness, reconstituting beside her like ink finding its shape in water. Their violet eyes swept the landscape, and Rory caught something in that faintly glowing gaze she hadn't seen before. Recognition. "I've read about this place. Aldric — I — read about it. Centuries ago." It was the first time Nyx had used that name voluntarily. Rory filed it away and said nothing. Isolde arrived last. She stepped through the rift the way she did everything — silently, with an economy of motion that made the extraordinary look habitual. The amber sky painted her silver hair in shades of honeyed bronze. She closed her eyes and inhaled, and for one unguarded moment her expression cracked open into something raw and wondering. "The soil remembers seeds that were never planted," she murmured. Then her composure returned, smooth as a door clicking shut. "We should move. Time here is — uneven." They descended the hill single file, Rory in front, the pendant leading her like a dowsing rod. Its pulse had steadied since they'd crossed over, settling into a deep, patient rhythm that she felt in her molars. The Fae blade stayed cold at her hip, a reassuring chill against the pervasive warmth of the air. Everything here was warm. The ground radiated heat through the soles of her boots. The light had no visible source — no sun, no moon, just that depthless amber glow suffusing the sky like stained glass backlit by fire. The vineyard swallowed them. Up close, the fruit was even stranger. Each cluster grew on stems as thick as Rory's wrist, and the individual fruits were the size of plums, their skins translucent enough that she could see seeds inside — tiny dark shapes suspended in glowing pulp. The scent this close was devastating. Her body wanted desperately to reach out, to pluck, to taste. She curled her fingers into fists. "Don't touch," she said over her shoulder, more reminder to herself than warning. "The fruit does not poison," Isolde said from the rear, which sounded like permission until she added, "but debts incurred by appetite are paid in other currencies." Nyx moved between the vine rows like a rumor, their shadow-form flickering as they passed from one patch of amber light to the next. Rory noticed they were more solid here than she'd ever seen them in London — more defined, the edges of their silhouette sharper, as though Dymas was a place where even shadows had more substance. Nyx seemed to notice it too. They kept flexing their hands, opening and closing fingers that actually looked like fingers for once, instead of vague dark appendages. "I can feel it," Nyx said, and there was something fragile in that wind-carried whisper. "Weight. I haven't felt weight in — " They stopped. The violet eyes dimmed briefly. "This realm wants to make things real." "Real and indebted," Isolde replied. They came out of the vineyards into a clearing, and Rory stopped so abruptly that Nyx drifted through her before pulling back with a murmured apology. The cold of their passage lanced through her ribs, but she barely noticed. She was too busy staring. A banquet table stretched across the clearing. It was carved from a single piece of dark wood — or grown from it, the legs still rooted in the earth, branches curling up from the table's edges to form candelabras that held flames without wicks or wax. The table was set for dozens, perhaps a hundred, with plates of hammered copper and goblets that looked grown from crystal. Food covered every inch of available surface. Roasted birds with skin like lacquered mahogany. Towers of bread that steamed as though just pulled from the oven. Fruits split open to reveal interiors of shocking jewel-toned color — ruby, sapphire, emerald. Sauces in boats shaped like open hands. Cheeses veined with something that glowed faintly gold. No one sat at the table. No one served. The food simply was, perfect and waiting, and the smell of it nearly drove Rory to her knees. "Who is this for?" she managed. Isolde was quiet for a long time. When Rory glanced back, the Seer's lavender eyes were glazed with that distant look that meant a vision was pressing at the edges of her sight. Her lips moved soundlessly. Then she blinked and focused, and her voice came out steady but thin. "For the ones who couldn't stop eating," she said carefully, each word chosen as though she were stepping across stones in a river. "And for the ones who haven't started yet." Somewhere deeper in Dymas, a bell rang — low, sonorous, the kind of sound you felt in your chest cavity. The pendant flared hot enough that Rory hissed and pulled it away from her skin by the chain. The crimson gem blazed, its inner glow no longer faint but fierce, throwing red light across her fingers. It was pointing. Not metaphorically — the stone had angled on its chain, straining toward the source of the bell like a compass needle finding true north. "Belphegor's kitchens," Nyx said. The name fell from them like a stone into deep water. "The bell calls the chefs. The helbound ones. Souls under contract." Rory looked at the table, at the impossible feast that no one had come to claim. She looked at the vineyards behind them, the orchards with their keening music, the amber sky that held no sun. She thought of Yu-Fei's kitchen back in London — the cramped galley behind the Golden Empress, the clatter of woks, the honest human sweat of a dinner rush. This was something else entirely. This was hunger made into architecture, appetite elevated to religion. The crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist itched. It always did when her body was telling her something her mind hadn't caught up with yet. "We keep moving," she said, and wrapped her hand around the pendant to keep its light contained. Its warmth seeped into her palm, insistent and strange, pulling them deeper into a realm that wanted very badly to be generous. That, Rory thought, was exactly what frightened her.
created_at"2026-02-24T22:38:07.319Z" 2/24/2026, 10:38:07 PM
model"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1798
moderation_latency154
generation_time70860
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion2878
native_tokens_prompt1775
native_tokens_completion2785
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning169
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.0785
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"a8708fb9-08ea-43bb-a3b1-165c87ef09df"
id"d7ee275f-3715-4319-8e09-062aba2827d0"
is_byokfalse
latency1760
model_permaslug"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771972687-rEDzJkvfMXcmVUAMme73"
upstream_id"d7ee275f-3715-4319-8e09-062aba2827d0"
total_cost0.0785
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags15
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"she said carefully [carefully]"
dialogueSentences24
tagDensity0.625
leniency1
rawRatio0.067
effectiveRatio0.067
94.37% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1776
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"carefully"
count1
1
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"carefully"
1"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
40.88% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1776
totalAiIsms21
found
0
word"sentinels"
count1
1
word"throbbed"
count1
2
word"resonance"
count1
3
word"whisper"
count2
4
word"pulsed"
count1
5
word"shimmered"
count1
6
word"weight"
count3
7
word"stomach"
count1
8
word"etched"
count1
9
word"pulse"
count2
10
word"rhythmic"
count1
11
word"chill"
count1
12
word"warmth"
count2
13
word"reminder"
count1
14
word"crystal"
count1
15
word"perfect"
count1
highlights
0"sentinels"
1"throbbed"
2"resonance"
3"whisper"
4"pulsed"
5"shimmered"
6"weight"
7"stomach"
8"etched"
9"pulse"
10"rhythmic"
11"chill"
12"warmth"
13"reminder"
14"crystal"
15"perfect"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences125
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences125
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences133
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen51
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1800
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions14
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
95.26% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions53
wordCount1644
uniqueNames15
maxNameDensity1.09
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory18
Richmond1
Park1
Isolde7
Nyx9
London3
Seer2
Three1
Fae3
English1
Dymas3
Shade1
Yu-Fei1
Golden1
Empress1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Isolde"
2"Nyx"
3"Seer"
4"Shade"
5"Yu-Fei"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
globalScore0.953
windowScore1
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences89
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"quite hear, a resonance below the threshold of her ears, more pressure than noise"
1"quite penetrate"
2"looked like coffee grounds, and the sky a"
3"smelled like nothing she had ever encounte"
4"viridian that seemed to pulse with internal light"
5"sounded like permission until she added"
6"looked like fingers for once, instead of"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.556
wordCount1800
matches
0"no longer faint but"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences133
matches
0"used that name"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs43
mean41.86
std29.23
cv0.698
sampleLengths
010
171
249
364
452
528
627
715
865
927
1036
113
125
1369
1412
1558
1610
1785
1871
193
2063
2118
2258
2328
2494
2571
2613
2727
2886
2937
305
3144
32122
3327
346
3550
3631
3783
3826
3979
4025
4139
428
99.65% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences125
matches
0"was carved"
1"were glazed"
97.04% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs259
matches
0"was pulsing"
1"were stepping"
2"was pointing"
3"was telling"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount19
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences17
totalSentences133
ratio0.128
matches
0"By the time they passed Isolde's standing oaks — those impossible sentinels whose bark had fused into something more like stone than wood — the crimson gem was pulsing so fiercely she could see its glow through her jacket, a hot coal nestled against her chest."
1"Through it, colors bled that had no business existing in a London park — amber and gold and something warmer still, a hue she had no name for."
2"She left no mark in the soft earth where she'd stood, and the wildflowers — crocuses, impossibly, in this season — swayed back upright as though she weighed nothing at all."
3"In the fading light of the park, they were barely visible — a tall humanoid absence, a place where shadow pooled and thickened into something with intent."
4"There was no transition — no tunnel, no corridor of light, no gradual dissolve from one place to another."
5"The smell hit first and hardest — roasting stone fruit, caramelized sugar, woodsmoke, and beneath it all something vegetal and alive, the concentrated essence of a thousand growing things exhaling at once."
6"Between the vine rows, fruit hung in clusters she couldn't identify — too large for grapes, too luminous, their skins shifting color as she watched, cycling from plum-dark to a blushing gold."
7"Rory could hear, faintly, the rhythmic percussion of knives on cutting boards — dozens of them, maybe hundreds, a polyrhythmic chopping that rose and fell like rain on a tin roof."
8"She stepped through the rift the way she did everything — silently, with an economy of motion that made the extraordinary look habitual."
9"The light had no visible source — no sun, no moon, just that depthless amber glow suffusing the sky like stained glass backlit by fire."
10"Each cluster grew on stems as thick as Rory's wrist, and the individual fruits were the size of plums, their skins translucent enough that she could see seeds inside — tiny dark shapes suspended in glowing pulp."
11"Rory noticed they were more solid here than she'd ever seen them in London — more defined, the edges of their silhouette sharper, as though Dymas was a place where even shadows had more substance."
12"It was carved from a single piece of dark wood — or grown from it, the legs still rooted in the earth, branches curling up from the table's edges to form candelabras that held flames without wicks or wax."
13"Fruits split open to reveal interiors of shocking jewel-toned color — ruby, sapphire, emerald."
14"Somewhere deeper in Dymas, a bell rang — low, sonorous, the kind of sound you felt in your chest cavity."
15"Not metaphorically — the stone had angled on its chain, straining toward the source of the bell like a compass needle finding true north."
16"She thought of Yu-Fei's kitchen back in London — the cramped galley behind the Golden Empress, the clatter of woks, the honest human sweat of a dinner rush."
87.28% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1636
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"shocking jewel-toned color —"
adverbCount78
adverbRatio0.04767726161369193
lyAdverbCount25
lyAdverbRatio0.015281173594132029
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences133
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences133
mean13.53
std9.77
cv0.722
sampleLengths
010
125
246
324
46
52
63
714
89
95
1022
1128
123
1331
1414
152
162
1711
1811
196
208
2119
227
238
243
2527
2617
2718
2816
293
308
319
3216
335
343
353
363
375
3819
3950
402
413
427
4332
449
4517
4610
4729
4824
4932
59.40% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats11
diversityRatio0.40601503759398494
totalSentences133
uniqueOpeners54
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences113
matches
0"Then her eyes adjusted, and"
1"Then her composure returned, smooth"
2"Then she blinked and focused,"
3"Somewhere deeper in Dymas, a"
ratio0.035
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount32
totalSentences113
matches
0"She'd felt it quicken a"
1"She could see the rift."
2"She left no mark in"
3"Her pale lavender eyes fixed"
4"Her silver hair lifted in"
5"Their violet eyes floated like"
6"She drew a slow breath."
7"She stepped through."
8"Her mouth watered before her"
9"Her stomach clenched with a"
10"They stood at the crest"
11"Their violet eyes swept the"
12"It was the first time"
13"She stepped through the rift"
14"She closed her eyes and"
15"They descended the hill single"
16"Its pulse had steadied since"
17"Her body wanted desperately to"
18"She curled her fingers into"
19"she said over her shoulder,"
ratio0.283
66.19% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount89
totalSentences113
matches
0"The pendant burned against Rory's"
1"She'd felt it quicken a"
2"The air ahead of them"
3"Something deeper, as though reality"
4"Rory said, though no one"
5"She could see the rift."
6"A vertical crease in the"
7"Isolde stopped walking."
8"She left no mark in"
9"Her pale lavender eyes fixed"
10"the Seer said"
11"Her silver hair lifted in"
12"Rory kept her voice level"
13"Isolde tilted her head, ageless"
14"Nyx drifted forward."
15"Their violet eyes floated like"
16"The shadow-form rippled."
17"Rory's hand found the Fae"
18"The leaf-shaped dagger was cold"
19"She drew a slow breath."
ratio0.788
88.50% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences113
matches
0"By the time they passed"
1"Now it throbbed in time"
ratio0.018
16.13% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences62
technicalSentenceCount11
matches
0"She left no mark in the soft earth where she'd stood, and the wildflowers — crocuses, impossibly, in this season — swayed back upright as though she weighed not…"
1"They stood at the crest of a low hill, and below them Dymas unfolded like something dreamed by a painter who'd gone mad in the most beautiful way possible."
2"Vineyards cascaded down terraced slopes in rows so precise they looked etched, their leaves a deep viridian that seemed to pulse with internal light."
3"Between the vine rows, fruit hung in clusters she couldn't identify — too large for grapes, too luminous, their skins shifting color as she watched, cycling fro…"
4"Beyond the vineyards, orchards spread in concentric rings around structures that might have been kitchens or temples or both."
5"She stepped through the rift the way she did everything — silently, with an economy of motion that made the extraordinary look habitual."
6"Rory noticed they were more solid here than she'd ever seen them in London — more defined, the edges of their silhouette sharper, as though Dymas was a place wh…"
7"They kept flexing their hands, opening and closing fingers that actually looked like fingers for once, instead of vague dark appendages."
8"It was carved from a single piece of dark wood — or grown from it, the legs still rooted in the earth, branches curling up from the table's edges to form candel…"
9"She looked at the vineyards behind them, the orchards with their keening music, the amber sky that held no sun."
10"Its warmth seeped into her palm, insistent and strange, pulling them deeper into a realm that wanted very badly to be generous."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags15
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
25.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags12
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"she breathed (breathe)"
1"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
2"she murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences24
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.25
82.3231%