Run: 2026-02-24-01KJ8WXXHMCSJN45V06FRHB4BW

Run Details

Duration:
1m 23s
Cost:
$0.080850
Provider:
Amazon Bedrock

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The Heartstone pulsed against Rory's collarbone like a second heartbeat, and then the world tore open. She'd expected violence — the rending of reality, some cosmic scream as the Veil parted. Instead, it was quiet. A breath of warm air against her face, sweet and heavy with the scent of overripe fruit, and then the grey November drizzle of Richmond Park was gone and she was standing on red earth beneath an amber sky. Rory blinked. Blinked again. The sky had no sun. The light came from everywhere and nowhere, a diffuse golden warmth that soaked into the landscape like honey through gauze. It was the color of late afternoon in a place that had never known a morning. "Keep moving," Nyx whispered from behind her — or beside her, or inside the folds of her jacket. Their voice slid through the air like smoke through a keyhole. "The threshold doesn't stay open." She stumbled forward two steps, her trainers crunching on soil that was the color of dried blood. Isolde passed through behind her without a sound, and Rory turned just in time to see the rift — a shimmering vertical tear, like heat haze given edges — seal itself shut with a faint pop of pressure against her eardrums. Gone. Richmond Park, the standing stones, the wildflowers that had no business blooming in November — all of it, sealed behind a barrier she couldn't see. The pendant cooled against her skin. Its work was done, at least for now. "Well," Rory said, and her voice came out steadier than she felt. "That's that, then." Isolde stood perfectly still, her silver hair catching the amber light and throwing it back in shades of copper and rose gold. Her pale lavender eyes were wide, but not with fear. Something older moved behind them. Something like recognition. "The wind here remembers a name I once carried," Isolde said softly. "Walk carefully. This place knows the shape of wanting." "That's not ominous at all." Rory turned back to the landscape and tried to make sense of it. They stood on a low ridge overlooking a valley that shouldn't have been possible. Vineyards stretched in every direction, their vines heavy with fruit that was too large, too dark, too lustrous — grapes the size of plums, their skins so purple they were nearly black, catching the amber light and holding it like tiny lanterns. Between the vineyards, orchards rose in irregular clusters, their branches bent under the weight of fruit Rory had no names for. Some were spherical and golden-skinned, others elongated and striped in shades of coral and cream. One tree near the base of the ridge bore what looked like pomegranates, except they were translucent, and through their glassy rinds she could see seeds that glowed a faint arterial red. The air was thick. Not humid, exactly — thick the way a rich broth is thick, layered with flavor. She could taste it on her tongue: dark sugar, wood smoke, something floral and dangerous that made the back of her throat tingle. "Don't eat anything," Nyx said, coalescing at her left side, their form rippling into something approximately humanoid. In this light, they were less shadow and more substance — Rory could make out the suggestion of a jaw, the faint violet glow of their eyes burning steadier than she'd ever seen them on the other side. "Not a grape. Not a seed. Not a drop of water. Nothing." "I've read the myths, thanks." "This isn't a myth. This is Dymas." Nyx's form flickered, their edges blurring as if tasted by an unseen wind. "The food here doesn't trap you in the underworld. It rewrites what you are. One bite and you'll spend the rest of your life — however long that turns out to be — chasing the memory of how it tasted." Rory's hand drifted to the Fae blade at her hip. Isolde had given it to her at the grove, pressing it into her palm with fingers that were cool and dry as paper. The moonsilver hilt was cold even now, even in this impossible warmth, and the chill of it anchored her. She let her fingers rest on it and breathed. They descended the ridge along a path that looked worn but not by feet. The ruts were too smooth, too regular — more like channels carved by water or time or something patient and deliberate. On either side, the vines reached toward them with slow, vegetable hunger. One tendril brushed Rory's bare forearm and she flinched. It was warm. Body-warm. She pulled away and the vine retracted, curling back on itself like a finger beckoning. "Lovely," she muttered. Isolde walked ahead, leaving no prints in the red earth. She never did, of course, but here the absence felt more conspicuous. Rory glanced back and saw her own footprints clearly — and Nyx's, which weren't footprints at all but faint scorch marks, as if the ground recoiled from whatever they were made of. "You're burning the dirt," Rory said. Nyx glanced down. "Shade and Hel soil don't agree. I exist in the spaces between realms. This place—" They paused, their silhouette sharpening for a moment into something almost painfully detailed: the ghost of a man with high cheekbones and deep-set eyes, a collar from another century. Then it dissolved. "This place is very firmly a realm. It doesn't appreciate ambiguity." The valley floor opened up before them, and with it came sound. Rory had been so overwhelmed by the visual that she hadn't registered the silence of the ridge. But here, at the base, the world hummed. A low, constant vibration that lived somewhere beneath the soles of her feet, as if the earth itself was digesting. Layered over it: the buzz and chirr of insects she couldn't see, the distant clatter of what might have been pots or pans or bones against stone. And music. Faint, carried on a breeze that tasted of caramelized onions and saffron, a melody played on strings that sounded almost like a lute but tuned to intervals that sat wrong in her ear. Not unpleasant — just off, the way a familiar word sounds wrong when you say it too many times. "There's a settlement ahead," Isolde said, stopping. She tilted her head, and her hair slid over one shoulder like a curtain of mercury. "Many souls. Bound, but not unhappy. The chains wear the shape of contentment here." "Helbound?" Rory asked. "Contracted," Nyx corrected. "There's a difference, legally speaking. The souls in Dymas made deals. They came here willingly — well, willingly enough. Belphegor doesn't need to drag his subjects screaming through portals. He just sets a table and waits." The path widened into a road paved with flat stones the color of dark chocolate. Between the stones, tiny flowers grew — white, bell-shaped, releasing a perfume that hit Rory in waves. Each wave carried a different memory: her mother's Sunday roast, the first coffee she'd had after arriving in London, the salt-and-vinegar chips Eva would smuggle into their dorm after midnight. She stopped walking. "Don't breathe through your nose," Nyx said sharply. She switched to mouth-breathing and the memories released their grip, fading like warmth from a vacated chair. Her pulse was up. She pressed her thumb against the crescent scar on her left wrist — an old grounding habit, learned the hard way — and counted to five. "Right," she said. "Mouth-breathing in the gluttony realm of Hel. Add that to the list of things I never expected to do with my law degree." "You don't have a law degree," Nyx observed. "That's the joke." They pressed on. The road curved through an orchard of the translucent pomegranate trees, and up close, Rory could see that the glowing seeds inside each fruit pulsed in rhythm — not with each other, but with the humming that rose through the ground. Each tree tuned to a different frequency. She reached out not to pick one but simply to touch the bark, and Isolde caught her hand. The Seer's grip was surprisingly firm. Her lavender eyes held Rory's with an intensity that burned through the riddle-speak. "The tree will know you tasted wanting," Isolde said. "And wanting, once known, sends roots." Rory pulled her hand back. "Noted." Beyond the orchard, the road crested a small rise and the settlement revealed itself. She stopped, and even Nyx solidified enough that she heard them draw what might have been a breath. It was a town — or a feast pretending to be a town. Long timber-framed buildings lined a central square, their walls hung with garlands of dried herbs and peppers and flowers that were still somehow blooming, and every surface was covered in food. Tables ran the length of the square, heavy oak things that looked like they'd grown out of the paving stones. They were laden with dishes that steamed and glistened: roasted birds with skin lacquered gold, tureens of soup that shimmered with oil slicks of color, towers of bread so perfectly risen they seemed to defy physics. Wheels of cheese sweated on marble slabs. Fruits were piled in pyramids. Glass pitchers held liquids in colors Rory didn't think liquids could be — one was the precise violet of Nyx's eyes. People moved between the tables. Dozens of them. Hundreds, maybe — it was hard to tell, because they moved with a fluid, dream-like quality, circling the feast in slow orbits. They wore aprons and chef's whites, or flowing robes stained with berry juice and turmeric, and their faces held expressions of perfect, terrible focus. They tasted, and they cooked, and they served, and they tasted again, and their eyes were glazed with what Rory could only describe as devotion. None of them looked up at the newcomers. "Contracted souls," Nyx murmured. "Master chefs, most of them. Belphegor recruits the best. Promises them ingredients that don't exist on Earth, techniques that would take a mortal lifetime to master. They come for a season. They stay forever." Rory watched a woman with flour-dusted hands slice into a roast with surgical precision, lift a sliver of meat to her lips, close her eyes, and shudder with an ecstasy that bordered on grief. When her eyes opened, she immediately turned back to the carving, adjusting her angle by a fraction of a degree. "They're happy," Rory said, and hated how uncertain it sounded. "The vine was happy to touch you," Isolde replied. "Happiness that cages still cages." The pendant at Rory's throat stayed cool and still. Whatever they'd come here to find, it wasn't in this square, with these lost and blissful souls and their endless feast. But the road continued beyond the settlement, narrowing into red earth again, climbing toward a structure on a distant hill — something with spires and smoke, with the warm amber sky pressing close around it like cupped hands. Rory touched the Fae blade. Cold as always, sharp and sure against her fingertips. "Onward, then," she said, and walked into Dymas without looking back.
created_at"2026-02-24T22:39:45.724Z" 2/24/2026, 10:39:45 PM
model"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1543
moderation_latency205
generation_time82303
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion2910
native_tokens_prompt1775
native_tokens_completion2879
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning134
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.08085
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"a8708fb9-08ea-43bb-a3b1-165c87ef09df"
id"1eb2a75c-d62f-4127-be36-0c63697e8ce7"
is_byokfalse
latency1525
model_permaslug"anthropic/claude-4.6-opus-20260205"
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771972785-SB02NPSEcl1u9q7lmMJ6"
upstream_id"1eb2a75c-d62f-4127-be36-0c63697e8ce7"
total_cost0.08085
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Amazon Bedrock"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
50.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags20
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"Isolde said softly [softly]"
1"Rory turned back [back]"
2"Nyx said sharply [sharply]"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.571
leniency1
rawRatio0.15
effectiveRatio0.15
83.56% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1825
totalAiIsmAdverbs6
found
0
adverb"perfectly"
count2
1
adverb"softly"
count1
2
adverb"carefully"
count1
3
adverb"very"
count1
4
adverb"sharply"
count1
highlights
0"perfectly"
1"softly"
2"carefully"
3"very"
4"sharply"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
50.68% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1825
totalAiIsms18
found
0
word"pulsed"
count2
1
word"warmth"
count3
2
word"sense of"
count1
3
word"weight"
count1
4
word"flickered"
count1
5
word"chill"
count1
6
word"firmly"
count1
7
word"silence"
count1
8
word"familiar"
count1
9
word"pulse"
count1
10
word"intensity"
count1
11
word"shimmered"
count1
12
word"marble"
count1
13
word"perfect"
count1
14
word"structure"
count1
highlights
0"pulsed"
1"warmth"
2"sense of"
3"weight"
4"flickered"
5"chill"
6"firmly"
7"silence"
8"familiar"
9"pulse"
10"intensity"
11"shimmered"
12"marble"
13"perfect"
14"structure"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences110
matches
0"t with fear"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences110
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences125
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen45
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1847
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions18
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
76.05% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions58
wordCount1555
uniqueNames14
maxNameDensity1.48
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Heartstone1
Rory23
Veil1
November2
Richmond2
Park2
Isolde9
Fae2
Nyx11
Sunday1
London1
Eva1
Seer1
Dymas1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Veil"
2"Isolde"
3"Nyx"
4"Eva"
5"Seer"
places
0"November"
1"Richmond"
2"Park"
3"Fae"
4"London"
5"Dymas"
globalScore0.76
windowScore0.833
85.06% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences77
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"looked like pomegranates, except they wer"
1"looked like they'd grown out of the pavin"
91.72% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords1.083
wordCount1847
matches
0"not with each other, but with the humming"
1"not to pick one but simply to touch the bark"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences125
matches
0"see that the humming that rose"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs49
mean37.69
std30.33
cv0.805
sampleLengths
016
158
24
341
434
558
626
714
815
940
1021
1118
12124
1342
1467
155
1660
1761
1875
193
2054
216
2261
2384
2454
2537
263
2739
2865
298
3047
3126
328
333
3469
3519
3615
376
3832
39133
4079
418
4238
4354
4410
4514
4668
4714
4811
89.31% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences110
matches
0"was gone"
1"were made"
2"was covered"
3"were piled"
4"were glazed"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs264
matches
0"was standing"
1"was digesting"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount19
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences17
totalSentences125
ratio0.136
matches
0"She'd expected violence — the rending of reality, some cosmic scream as the Veil parted."
1"\"Keep moving,\" Nyx whispered from behind her — or beside her, or inside the folds of her jacket."
2"Isolde passed through behind her without a sound, and Rory turned just in time to see the rift — a shimmering vertical tear, like heat haze given edges — seal itself shut with a faint pop of pressure against her eardrums."
3"Richmond Park, the standing stones, the wildflowers that had no business blooming in November — all of it, sealed behind a barrier she couldn't see."
4"Vineyards stretched in every direction, their vines heavy with fruit that was too large, too dark, too lustrous — grapes the size of plums, their skins so purple they were nearly black, catching the amber light and holding it like tiny lanterns."
5"Not humid, exactly — thick the way a rich broth is thick, layered with flavor."
6"In this light, they were less shadow and more substance — Rory could make out the suggestion of a jaw, the faint violet glow of their eyes burning steadier than she'd ever seen them on the other side."
7"The ruts were too smooth, too regular — more like channels carved by water or time or something patient and deliberate."
8"Rory glanced back and saw her own footprints clearly — and Nyx's, which weren't footprints at all but faint scorch marks, as if the ground recoiled from whatever they were made of."
9"Not unpleasant — just off, the way a familiar word sounds wrong when you say it too many times."
10"Between the stones, tiny flowers grew — white, bell-shaped, releasing a perfume that hit Rory in waves."
11"She pressed her thumb against the crescent scar on her left wrist — an old grounding habit, learned the hard way — and counted to five."
12"The road curved through an orchard of the translucent pomegranate trees, and up close, Rory could see that the glowing seeds inside each fruit pulsed in rhythm — not with each other, but with the humming that rose through the ground."
13"It was a town — or a feast pretending to be a town."
14"Glass pitchers held liquids in colors Rory didn't think liquids could be — one was the precise violet of Nyx's eyes."
15"Hundreds, maybe — it was hard to tell, because they moved with a fluid, dream-like quality, circling the feast in slow orbits."
16"But the road continued beyond the settlement, narrowing into red earth again, climbing toward a structure on a distant hill — something with spires and smoke, with the warm amber sky pressing close around it like cupped hands."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1546
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"Long timber-framed buildings"
adverbCount58
adverbRatio0.037516170763260026
lyAdverbCount13
lyAdverbRatio0.008408796895213453
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences125
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences125
mean14.78
std10.93
cv0.74
sampleLengths
016
115
24
339
42
52
65
720
816
918
1011
115
1217
1341
141
1525
166
178
1812
193
2022
2110
225
233
2412
259
2618
2714
2842
2921
3015
3132
324
3315
3423
3517
3638
3712
385
3920
4040
4110
4223
4319
449
4514
4621
4712
489
493
81.60% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats3
diversityRatio0.504
totalSentences125
uniqueOpeners63
69.44% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount2
totalSentences96
matches
0"Instead, it was quiet."
1"Then it dissolved."
ratio0.021
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount28
totalSentences96
matches
0"She'd expected violence — the"
1"It was the color of"
2"Their voice slid through the"
3"She stumbled forward two steps,"
4"Its work was done, at"
5"Her pale lavender eyes were"
6"They stood on a low"
7"She could taste it on"
8"She let her fingers rest"
9"They descended the ridge along"
10"It was warm."
11"She pulled away and the"
12"She never did, of course,"
13"They paused, their silhouette sharpening"
14"She tilted her head, and"
15"She stopped walking."
16"She switched to mouth-breathing and"
17"Her pulse was up."
18"She pressed her thumb against"
19"They pressed on."
ratio0.292
53.75% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount78
totalSentences96
matches
0"The Heartstone pulsed against Rory's"
1"She'd expected violence — the"
2"A breath of warm air"
3"The sky had no sun."
4"The light came from everywhere"
5"It was the color of"
6"Nyx whispered from behind her"
7"Their voice slid through the"
8"She stumbled forward two steps,"
9"Isolde passed through behind her"
10"Richmond Park, the standing stones,"
11"The pendant cooled against her"
12"Its work was done, at"
13"Rory said, and her voice"
14"Isolde stood perfectly still, her"
15"Her pale lavender eyes were"
16"Something older moved behind them."
17"Something like recognition."
18"Isolde said softly"
19"Rory turned back to the"
ratio0.813
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences96
matches(empty)
ratio0
19.70% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences58
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"The light came from everywhere and nowhere, a diffuse golden warmth that soaked into the landscape like honey through gauze."
1"She stumbled forward two steps, her trainers crunching on soil that was the color of dried blood."
2"Richmond Park, the standing stones, the wildflowers that had no business blooming in November — all of it, sealed behind a barrier she couldn't see."
3"They stood on a low ridge overlooking a valley that shouldn't have been possible."
4"Vineyards stretched in every direction, their vines heavy with fruit that was too large, too dark, too lustrous — grapes the size of plums, their skins so purpl…"
5"One tree near the base of the ridge bore what looked like pomegranates, except they were translucent, and through their glassy rinds she could see seeds that gl…"
6"Rory glanced back and saw her own footprints clearly — and Nyx's, which weren't footprints at all but faint scorch marks, as if the ground recoiled from whateve…"
7"A low, constant vibration that lived somewhere beneath the soles of her feet, as if the earth itself was digesting."
8"They were laden with dishes that steamed and glistened: roasted birds with skin lacquered gold, tureens of soup that shimmered with oil slicks of color, towers …"
9"Rory watched a woman with flour-dusted hands slice into a roast with surgical precision, lift a sliver of meat to her lips, close her eyes, and shudder with an …"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags20
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"Nyx's form flickered, their edges blurring as if tasted by an unseen wind"
7.14% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags17
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
1"she muttered (mutter)"
2"Nyx corrected (correct)"
3"Nyx observed (observe)"
4"Nyx murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.486
leniency0.971
rawRatio0.294
effectiveRatio0.286
78.4010%