Run: 2026-03-06-01KK1HK9PFY2SWTNA82VVCKKFN

Run Details

Model:
GPT-5.4
Duration:
1m 47s
Cost:
$0.063692
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Detective Harlow Quinn paused at the lip of the broken escalator and looked down into what had once been a Tube station. The place should have been dead in the ordinary way—dusty, vandalized, stripped to concrete and rust. Instead it throbbed with the stale afterheat of bodies and panic. Harsh work lights turned the old platform a surgical white. Beyond them, the tunnel mouths gaped black and wet as open throats. Torn tarps hung from old advertising frames. Chalk marks ringed patches of platform. Evidence tents dotted the scene in bright police blue, absurdly cheerful against the grime. And over all of it sat the smell. Copper from blood, yes. Hot wiring from hastily run generators. Mildew from the walls. But there was something else under it, sweet and rotten together, like flowers left too long in standing water. Quinn stood very still and let the station speak to her. Behind her, boots scraped concrete. “You coming down, then?” DS Colin Reeves had never learned the usefulness of silence. He was broad-faced, red-cheeked, in his late thirties, with a habit of talking as if the right answer could be forced out of the air by volume alone. Quinn had worked with worse men. She’d also buried one better. She started down the escalator, one hand skimming the cold rubber rail. Her worn leather watch sat snug on her left wrist, its face scratched, dependable. Time of arrival, 02:14. The callout had dragged her from a half-finished report and a vending-machine coffee that now sat cooling in her car two streets above. “Three dead?” she asked. Reeves fell into step beside her. “Three confirmed. Two male, one female. No IDs on the bodies, but uniforms turned up wallets and phones in the piles. Looks like some kind of illegal market operating down here. Stolen goods, maybe drugs. Deal gone bad, if you ask me.” Quinn glanced at him. “Did I?” He exhaled through his nose, almost a laugh. “You know what I mean.” She did. Everyone at the scene already had a version of events. Criminals in a hidden place, dead by violence, therefore criminal explanation. It was neat. Neat explanations comforted people. They reached the platform. A SOCO photographer moved aside for her, lowering his camera. A white-suited tech zipped an evidence bag and nodded in greeting. The old station tiles, once cream, had yellowed with age and soot. Most of the signage had been pried away, but a few enamel letters still clung stubbornly to the walls, station name long gone. An abandoned Tube station beneath Camden. She knew the file on it already. Closed decades ago after structural concerns. Periodic break-ins by squatters, urban explorers, junkies. Tonight’s patrol response had come from a call about screaming near a boarded maintenance entrance in an alley aboveground. Officers found the entrance open and this waiting below. Quinn stopped just short of the first body. Male, approximately thirty, dark hair, expensive coat soaked through at the chest. He lay on his back between two overturned folding tables, one arm flung wide, palm up in a gesture almost theatrical. The blood spread under him had dried black at the edges. She crouched. The bullet wound in his sternum was obvious enough. Powder burns on the shirt. Close range. But his face held the look she had learned to distrust—not fear exactly, but astonishment, as if death had arrived in the wrong shape. “Witnesses?” she asked. “None worth the name. Couple of rough sleepers heard shouting, then a sound like metal scraping on metal. One said there were lights down here earlier in the evening, more than usual. We’re pulling CCTV from street level, but if this lot came and went through the tunnels…” Reeves spread his hands. Quinn looked past the body. The platform was cluttered with remnants of commerce. Folding tables. Empty crates. Wax drippings. Fragments of cloth in strange dyes. Not stolen electronics, as she’d expected from the first report. Not bagged narcotics. The items tagged and photographed on the nearest trestle table did not belong in any normal vice squad seizure. A row of glass vials filled with shimmering liquid. Animal bones carved with symbols. Bundles of dried herbs tied with black thread. A heap of old coins gone green with age. A bird skull lacquered in gold leaf. She didn’t touch any of it. Reeves noticed where she was looking. “Right, so. Performance nonsense, probably. Goths. Cult rubbish. Camden attracts all sorts.” “Mm.” “You don’t think?” “I think people selling fake magic usually prefer somewhere with an easier fire exit.” He frowned at that, but before he could answer, a woman emerged from the knot of uniforms near the second body. Eva Kowalski moved with the nervous purpose of someone trying to look as though she belonged where she very much did not. Her curly red hair had escaped whatever tie had once restrained it, and she kept tucking it behind her left ear only for the damp to pull it loose again. Round glasses flashed in the work lights. Her worn leather satchel hung across her body, bulging with papers and books to a degree Quinn had always found physically stressful. Quinn’s jaw tightened. “What is she doing here?” Reeves looked mildly surprised. “Consulting.” “For whom?” “For us.” He seemed pleased with himself. “Museum connection. We needed someone to look at the oddments. Restricted archives, isn’t it? She came recommended.” Eva arrived within earshot and gave Quinn a strained little nod. “Detective.” “Kowalski.” Quinn had dealt with Eva twice before, on the edges of cases where old symbols and stranger stories had brushed against very real corpses. She was clever, earnest, and in Quinn’s view far too comfortable around things that ought to make sensible people back away. Eva glanced at Reeves. “I didn’t realize Detective Quinn was lead.” “She is now,” Quinn said. “What have you got?” Eva took a breath and looked beyond Quinn at the platform, as if ordering her thoughts against the chaos of the scene. “This isn’t a generic occult gathering. Some of these objects are genuine. Or genuine enough. Several are warded. That brass dish over there is Persian, nineteenth century at least, used in spirit-binding rites. Those are rowan bundles, but prepared incorrectly. The carved bones are not decorative. And…” Her gaze shifted to the dark tunnel at the far end of the station. “This may be the Veil Market.” Reeves made a sound of impatience. “The what?” Eva ignored him. “It’s a hidden market. Moves around. Mostly rumor, but not entirely. People trade in prohibited things—enchanted objects, alchemical compounds, information. You need a token for entry. Bone, usually.” For one beat, the platform seemed to contract around that word. Bone token. Quinn filed it away, though she gave no sign. “And your basis for this conclusion?” Eva reached into her satchel and, after some rustling, produced a photocopied page in a protective sleeve. The illustration showed a rough plan of a station platform with sigils at the entrances and market stalls inked along one side. “A manuscript in the museum archive. Anonymous, early twentieth century. It describes a market that appears in disused transit spaces. Hidden from casual notice. There are references to a station under Camden.” Reeves folded his arms. “So what? They were playing make-believe and somebody shot them.” “Maybe,” Eva said. “But if this is what I think it is, then people here were expecting very specific rules. Protective boundaries. Controlled access. The violence doesn’t fit.” Quinn stood. “Show me what doesn’t fit.” Eva’s relief was brief and visible. She led Quinn a few paces down the platform, careful to avoid evidence markers. Near the edge, someone had chalked around a second body—a woman in a dark green dress, one shoe missing. Her throat was cut so deeply the wound looked almost deliberate beyond utility. Blood had sheeted across the tile, then stopped abruptly at a thin line of white powder. Quinn crouched again. Not chalk. Salt, perhaps, or something like it. A line curved in a half-circle around where the woman had fallen. Disturbed in one place by a boot print, but otherwise intact. “Your protective boundary?” Quinn asked. Eva nodded. “A ward line. Crude but effective, if laid properly.” Reeves snorted. “Or it’s cocaine, and your dead girl was a dealer.” Quinn tuned him out. She studied the blood. The woman had bled heavily, enough to flood over grout lines and into chips in the platform. Yet the line of powder had interrupted the flow as neatly as a gutter. Blood should have crossed it. At least some should have soaked through, unless— She leaned closer. The powder had clumped where the blood touched it, forming tiny gray nodules instead of dissolving. Not table salt. Not chalk. Something absorbent? Reactive? “Has this been sampled?” A nearby technician answered. “Taken scrapings, ma’am. Lab says hold pending composition.” “Good.” She rose and moved on. The third body lay partly behind an old pillar plastered in layers of mold-eaten posters. This one had been shot twice in the abdomen. The pistol had been found near his hand. Crime Scene had tented it, but from here Quinn could see the grip. “Shooter?” Reeves said. “Likely our instigator. Maybe the woman cut him before she went down. Then the first bloke catches one in the chest during the struggle.” “A three-way fight in close quarters?” Quinn asked. “Wouldn’t be the first.” “No.” She looked around. “But in a close-quarters shooting with panic and poor light, I’d expect more damage. Stray rounds. Impact marks. Broken tile. Ricochets.” Reeves gestured toward the bodies. “Three dead is damage.” “Three accurate hits,” Quinn said. “Close center mass on the first, controlled double tap on the third, throat cut on the woman. Minimal collateral. Whoever did this wasn’t flailing.” Reeves opened his mouth, then shut it. Quinn stepped toward the nearest pillar and followed a line of sight in her mind. First victim between tables. Third victim by the pillar. Woman near the edge. Positions wrong for a single chaotic exchange. Too spread out, too arranged by function. She looked at their hands. The first man’s nails were broken, but there was no blood under them. The third had powder residue on his right hand—but his fingers were locked oddly, not curled from firing, more cramped, as if they’d clenched on something and lost it. “Any prints on the gun?” “Pending,” Reeves said. “Any other weapons?” “The knife that cut the woman hasn’t been found.” “Meaning whoever used it took it.” “That’s one way to read it.” “It’s the useful one.” She turned slowly, taking in the whole station now rather than the bodies alone. Improvised stalls lined one side of the platform. Several had been knocked over, but not ransacked. Goods remained in place. If this was a robbery, the robber had shown remarkable restraint around objects that could probably fetch a great deal from the kind of people who bought bird skulls lacquered in gold. Near the old ticket office, a cluster of candles had guttered down into multicolored wax puddles. A chair sat on its side beside them. Behind the chair, on the tiled wall, someone had drawn a symbol in black pigment: a circle slashed by three hooked lines. It had been smeared across one side, as though a hand or shoulder had struck it in passing. “Photograph that again,” Quinn said to no one in particular. A camera clicked somewhere at once. She walked to the wall and stopped just short of the symbol. The black pigment was glossy even now. Not paint. Something thicker. Blood mixed with soot? Ink? She bent her head and smelled iron under the char. A memory flickered—not clear, never clear enough. Morris on a different floor, in a different case, saying, That mark again, do you see it? before everything had gone loud and wrong and impossible. Three years ago and still the edges of it came to her in fragments, as if her own mind had filed the truth under damaged goods. “Detective?” Eva’s voice, quieter now. Quinn straightened. “You’ve seen this symbol before.” It wasn’t a question. Eva hesitated anyway. “In records. References only. It’s associated with crossings. Openings. Places where barriers are… thinner.” Reeves threw up his hands. “Barriers to what?” Eva looked at him, then at Quinn, and for once she seemed to understand exactly how little nonsense Quinn would tolerate in public. “To hidden spaces,” she said carefully. “To places not everyone can access.” Quinn looked back toward the station entrance. The officers posted there were visible in the work lights. Sensible. Solid. Human. And yet. “What was found on the bodies?” Quinn asked. “Phones, wallets, cash,” Reeves said. “Nothing remarkable. One had a train token on a chain, but not current issue.” “Show me.” He signaled to a uniform, who brought over an open evidence tray. Inside, bagged and labeled, lay the contents of the dead. Quinn sifted them with her eyes first. Cards, coins, lipstick, receipts, loose tobacco, a ring of keys. And there, in a separate smaller bag, a pale object the size of an old pound coin. Not train token. Bone. Circular, polished smooth, etched on one side with a tiny gate. Quinn felt the station settle around that fact like a lock accepting the correct key. “Who had this?” “Victim two,” Reeves said, indicating the woman. “Could be carved animal bone. Souvenir from Brighton for all I know.” “It’s not a souvenir,” Eva said quietly. “No,” Quinn said. She held out a gloved hand. The uniform passed her the bag. The token was warm-looking despite the plastic, creamy and old. On the reverse side, nearly invisible under grime, another mark had been scratched in haste. Three hooked lines crossing a circle. Not ownership. Warning. Quinn’s gaze sharpened. She looked at the woman’s body again, the ward line, the position near the platform edge. Not victim caught in crossfire. Gatekeeper, perhaps. Someone controlling entry. Someone who had tried to stop whatever came through—or whoever. “Where are the shell casings?” Quinn asked. Reeves blinked. “Bagged.” “All of them?” “Three recovered.” “Three shots struck three victims,” Quinn said. “You’re telling me every round fired found flesh?” “In a small space—” “With one pistol in evidence and no other weapon discharged? Then who shot the man by the tables from close range while the pistol ended up over there? Unless he walked twenty feet after taking a center chest hit, which he didn’t. Blood pool says he dropped where he stood.” Reeves’ expression shifted, irritation giving way to the first unwelcome edge of thought. “Could have been a second gun.” “Could have been. But no fourth casing.” Quinn pointed with two fingers. “And if the shooter collected one casing and left three, then we’re no longer in the territory of spontaneous deal gone bad. We’re in staged scene.” The station hummed with generators. Somewhere in the tunnel, water dripped in a slow, hollow rhythm. Eva was staring at the dark track bed. “Detective,” she said softly, “there’s something else.” Quinn followed her line of sight. Below the platform edge, in the grease-black gravel between rails, a narrow trail had been disturbed. Not by police boots—the access route had been on the opposite side. These marks were older, partly dried, partly fresh. As if something heavy had been dragged from the tunnel mouth to the platform and then not quite all the way onto it. She climbed down carefully, ignoring Reeves’ muttered protest. The air near the tracks was colder. Colder enough that her breath feathered white for a second before vanishing. She crouched by the disturbed gravel. There was blood here too, but less than she expected. More striking were the marks in the dust and old oil: parallel grooves, intermittent, with deeper impressions every few feet. Not shoes. Not wheels. Something with weight and uneven contact. She touched one of the impressions with a gloved finger. The residue came away black shot through with glittering silver grains. Behind her, Eva descended less gracefully, clutching her satchel. “Please tell me you see that.” “I see residue,” Quinn said. “It’s iron filings and ash. Used in threshold work.” Reeves remained above, peering down with open skepticism that was beginning, at last, to fray at the edges. “Threshold to what?” Quinn didn’t answer him. Her eyes had fixed on the tunnel mouth. At first it was just darkness, ribbed with old cable lines and slick brick. Then, as she let her vision settle, she noticed a distortion in the air six yards inside. A subtle warping, like heat haze standing upright in the cold. The beam from a work light struck the tunnel and bent strangely at that point, thinning, as if some transparent surface refused to take illumination properly. The hair at the back of her neck rose. She had felt that once before, in the last seconds before Morris died—though then she had not possessed words for it, only the body’s ancient knowledge that the world had slipped a tooth on its gears. “Clear the tunnel entrance,” Quinn said. Reeves stared. “For what?” “Forensics contamination, for one thing. And because this wasn’t a market dispute.” She climbed back onto the platform, every movement clipped and exact, military in its precision. Her pulse had quickened, but her voice stayed flat. “Victim two carried entry token and was positioned by a ward line. Victim one was executed at close range. Victim three fired at least one shot, possibly in defense, but not all the shots here came from his weapon. Casings don’t match the narrative because the narrative was built after the fact.” “Built by who?” Quinn looked once more at the black symbol on the wall, at the half-packed stalls, at the tunnel where the air bent wrong. “By the one who left,” she said. “And whatever they were trying to bring through.” For the first time since she’d arrived, nobody had a quick answer to that. Good, Quinn thought. At last they were standing in the same room as the truth, even if they couldn’t see its whole shape yet. She held out her hand to Eva without looking at her. “You mentioned a token for entry. If there’s a market, there may be tools. Objects attuned to crossings.” Eva blinked, then fumbled in her satchel. From its depths she produced a small brass compass mottled with verdigris, the face etched in tiny protective sigils. Its needle trembled under the glass. “A Veil Compass,” Eva said. Quinn took it. The brass was colder than it should have been. For one suspended second the needle spun, jittering wildly as if confused by too many directions at once. Then it snapped hard toward the tunnel—past north, past reason—and held there with rigid certainty. Around them, the station seemed to listen.
created_at"2026-03-06T12:22:44.184Z" 3/6/2026, 12:22:44 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency374
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time106766
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion5113
native_tokens_prompt835
native_tokens_completion4107
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0636925
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_09e9ee59944686420169aac7143e8c8194953bd42963ff05b0"
is_byokfalse
latency149
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1772799764-xyNwZqFnxkycTOW7POOr"
upstream_id"resp_09e9ee59944686420169aac7143e8c8194953bd42963ff05b0"
total_cost0.0636925
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
93.62% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags30
adverbTagCount5
adverbTags
0"She looked around [around]"
1"she said carefully [carefully]"
2"Eva said quietly [quietly]"
3"she said softly [softly]"
4"She climbed back [back]"
dialogueSentences94
tagDensity0.319
leniency0.638
rawRatio0.167
effectiveRatio0.106
87.31% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3152
totalAiIsmAdverbs8
found
0
adverb"very"
count4
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"carefully"
count2
3
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"slowly"
2"carefully"
3"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
76.21% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3152
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"throbbed"
count1
1
word"silence"
count1
2
word"restrained"
count1
3
word"comfortable"
count1
4
word"chaotic"
count1
5
word"remarkable"
count2
6
word"flickered"
count1
7
word"etched"
count2
8
word"weight"
count1
9
word"pulse"
count1
10
word"quickened"
count1
11
word"depths"
count1
12
word"trembled"
count1
highlights
0"throbbed"
1"silence"
2"restrained"
3"comfortable"
4"chaotic"
5"remarkable"
6"flickered"
7"etched"
8"weight"
9"pulse"
10"quickened"
11"depths"
12"trembled"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences258
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences258
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"see"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences323
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen62
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3141
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions28
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
16.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions93
wordCount2298
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity1.87
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity4.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Harlow1
Quinn43
Tube2
Colin1
Reeves19
Camden1
Kowalski1
Eva19
Scene1
Morris2
Blood3
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Colin"
3"Reeves"
4"Kowalski"
5"Eva"
6"Scene"
7"Morris"
8"Blood"
places(empty)
globalScore0.564
windowScore0.167
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences156
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"as if ordering her thoughts against the chaos of the scene"
1"something like it"
2"not quite all the way onto it"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.318
wordCount3141
matches
0"not fear exactly, but astonishment, as if death had arrived in the wrong shape"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences323
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs145
mean21.66
std21.47
cv0.991
sampleLengths
022
176
28
333
411
59
649
753
84
948
106
1113
1230
1360
1454
158
1644
1742
183
1952
205
2152
2238
236
2418
251
263
2714
2821
2981
303
315
325
332
3424
3512
361
3745
3811
399
4089
418
4231
4311
442
4515
4671
4714
4828
497
93.02% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount9
totalSentences258
matches
0"been pried"
1"been shot"
2"been found"
3"were locked"
4"been knocked"
5"been smeared"
6"been scratched"
7"been disturbed"
8"been dragged"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs385
matches
0"was looking"
1"was staring"
2"was beginning"
3"were standing"
54.40% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount11
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences10
totalSentences323
ratio0.031
matches
0"The place should have been dead in the ordinary way—dusty, vandalized, stripped to concrete and rust."
1"But his face held the look she had learned to distrust—not fear exactly, but astonishment, as if death had arrived in the wrong shape."
2"Near the edge, someone had chalked around a second body—a woman in a dark green dress, one shoe missing."
3"At least some should have soaked through, unless—"
4"The third had powder residue on his right hand—but his fingers were locked oddly, not curled from firing, more cramped, as if they’d clenched on something and lost it."
5"A memory flickered—not clear, never clear enough."
6"Someone who had tried to stop whatever came through—or whoever."
7"Not by police boots—the access route had been on the opposite side."
8"She had felt that once before, in the last seconds before Morris died—though then she had not possessed words for it, only the body’s ancient knowledge that the world had slipped a tooth on its gears."
9"Then it snapped hard toward the tunnel—past north, past reason—and held there with rigid certainty."
99.43% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1919
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount78
adverbRatio0.04064616988014591
lyAdverbCount22
lyAdverbRatio0.011464304325169358
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences323
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences323
mean9.72
std8.67
cv0.892
sampleLengths
022
116
211
310
412
57
66
714
88
94
106
114
1219
1311
145
154
1610
1728
186
195
2012
2114
224
2323
244
256
2642
274
282
298
305
312
3210
3311
343
354
364
3710
3811
3912
4023
416
427
436
447
4519
469
478
4812
4921
65.74% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats16
diversityRatio0.4241486068111455
totalSentences323
uniqueOpeners137
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount7
totalSentences210
matches
0"Instead it throbbed with the"
1"At least some should have"
2"Too spread out, too arranged"
3"Somewhere in the tunnel, water"
4"More striking were the marks"
5"Then, as she let her"
6"Then it snapped hard toward"
ratio0.033
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount42
totalSentences210
matches
0"He was broad-faced, red-cheeked, in"
1"She’d also buried one better."
2"She started down the escalator,"
3"Her worn leather watch sat"
4"He exhaled through his nose,"
5"It was neat."
6"They reached the platform."
7"She knew the file on"
8"He lay on his back"
9"She didn’t touch any of"
10"He frowned at that, but"
11"Her curly red hair had"
12"Her worn leather satchel hung"
13"He seemed pleased with himself"
14"She was clever, earnest, and"
15"Her gaze shifted to the"
16"She led Quinn a few"
17"Her throat was cut so"
18"She studied the blood."
19"She leaned closer."
ratio0.2
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount150
totalSentences210
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn paused at"
1"The place should have been"
2"Chalk marks ringed patches of"
3"Evidence tents dotted the scene"
4"Copper from blood, yes."
5"Mildew from the walls."
6"Quinn stood very still and"
7"DS Colin Reeves had never"
8"He was broad-faced, red-cheeked, in"
9"Quinn had worked with worse"
10"She’d also buried one better."
11"She started down the escalator,"
12"Her worn leather watch sat"
13"Time of arrival, 02:14."
14"The callout had dragged her"
15"Reeves fell into step beside"
16"Quinn glanced at him."
17"He exhaled through his nose,"
18"Everyone at the scene already"
19"Criminals in a hidden place,"
ratio0.714
71.43% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences210
matches
0"If this was a robbery,"
1"before everything had gone loud"
2"As if something heavy had"
ratio0.014
89.67% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences94
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"He was broad-faced, red-cheeked, in his late thirties, with a habit of talking as if the right answer could be forced out of the air by volume alone."
1"She was clever, earnest, and in Quinn’s view far too comfortable around things that ought to make sensible people back away."
2"If this was a robbery, the robber had shown remarkable restraint around objects that could probably fetch a great deal from the kind of people who bought bird s…"
3"Three years ago and still the edges of it came to her in fragments, as if her own mind had filed the truth under damaged goods."
4"Reeves remained above, peering down with open skepticism that was beginning, at last, to fray at the edges."
5"The beam from a work light struck the tunnel and bent strangely at that point, thinning, as if some transparent surface refused to take illumination properly."
6"For one suspended second the needle spun, jittering wildly as if confused by too many directions at once."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags30
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"She climbed back, every movement clipped and exact, military in its precision"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags23
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences94
tagDensity0.245
leniency0.489
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
91.5830%