Run: 2026-03-06-01KK1HQ9W8D01J73WNGMX3FPCD

Run Details

Duration:
1m 27s
Cost:
$0.054707
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The first thing Detective Harlow Quinn registered was the cold. Not the honest winter chill that lived in London tunnels, damp and stale and smelling of brick sweat and old electricity. This cold had edges. It slipped under her collar and pressed two fingers to the back of her neck like it knew her. By the time she stepped off the last cracked stair onto the abandoned platform beneath Camden, every instinct she owned had already gone taut. The station had been dead for decades. The old enamel roundels were half-peeled from the walls, station name lost under soot and age. A line of defunct bulbs hung above the platform, dark as rotten teeth, while portable floodlamps thrown up by the crime-scene team cast hard white islands across the gloom. Beyond them, the tunnel mouths yawned black and patient. Water dripped somewhere in the dark with irritating regularity. Uniforms had strung tape between rusted pillars, more from habit than utility. There were no civilians down here to hold back. Just officers, a forensic photographer, and DI Mercer standing with his hands in his coat pockets, staring at the body as if sheer concentration might make it ordinary. It would not. Quinn came toward him with her usual clipped stride, boots ringing faintly on the platform edge. Her leather watch sat cool against her wrist when she checked the time: 02:17. Her face gave away nothing. Eighteen years in the job had taught her how useful a blank expression could be. “Tell me,” she said. Mercer glanced over. He was younger than her by nearly a decade and looked it tonight: tired skin, tie askew, cheap coffee on his breath. “Male, approximately fifty. No ID on him. We found him an hour ago when Transport sent a maintenance crew down to investigate unauthorized power draw. Crew found the gate above jimmied, called it in.” He nodded toward the corpse. “Looks like some sort of ritual homicide.” “Looks like,” Quinn repeated. The man lay on his back in the middle of the platform, arms spread, heels together. Someone had arranged him with care. Chalk marks encircled the body in a complex pattern of intersecting loops and sharp angles. Candles—black, guttered to stubs—had been placed at measured intervals around the circumference. A dark stain had soaked through the victim’s shirt from sternum to waist. At first glance, ritual murder would do nicely. At first glance. Quinn crouched just beyond the chalk line. “ME?” “On the way. Patel did the preliminaries.” Mercer jerked his chin toward a slim woman in coveralls taking photographs by the tunnel entrance. Patel looked up, met Quinn’s eye, and came over. “Temperature’s odd,” she said without preamble. “Ambient down here should be around eleven Celsius. Near the body it drops to four. No obvious source.” Quinn nodded once. “Time of death?” “Ballpark six to eight hours ago. Maybe earlier. Livor’s inconsistent, though.” “Inconsistent how?” Patel lifted a shoulder. “He’s settled wrong. More pooling along the back of the neck and calves than I’d expect from this position, less through the shoulders. Like he spent time lying somewhere else before being placed here.” Mercer made a small noise. “Or the blood was disturbed during the ritual.” Patel’s mouth tightened. She had the professional disdain of someone who spent too much time around detectives with pet theories. “Or he was moved.” Quinn let that sit. Then she turned her attention to the dead man. Mid-fifties, perhaps. Greying hair slicked flat against a broad scalp. Hands clean but rough at the knuckles. Not a vagrant, despite the station setting. His suit had once been expensive, though it was now rumpled and ash-dusted, and his shoes were polished enough to catch the floodlamp glare. The shirt had been cut open from collar to navel. In the center of his chest, just left of the sternum, was a wound too neat to be a frenzy killing and too ugly to be surgical. The flesh around it had blackened in a starburst pattern, as if something hot and narrow had punched in and twisted. No blood on the chalk. Quinn’s gaze shifted back to the circle. The symbols were intricate enough to intimidate the untrained eye. Plenty of people would stop there, let the strangeness do the thinking for them. She had learned, painfully, not to. “Who found the candles?” she asked. “Like that,” Mercer said. “And the chalk marks untouched?” “Maintenance swears they didn’t come near him.” She leaned closer, not crossing the line. The chalk was bright, almost fresh. Too bright. On old platform grit, chalk usually picked up dirt, broke along the roughness, left feathered edges. These lines sat on the concrete like stage dressing. Even where a crack split the platform surface, the mark continued smooth and unbroken over the gap. She looked at Patel. “You swabbed it?” “Not yet.” “Do that. I want to know if it’s chalk at all.” Mercer exhaled through his nose. “What else would it be?” Quinn stood. “Something someone wanted us to think was chalk.” His eyebrows rose. “You think this is a fake ritual scene?” “I think somebody very much wanted the first officer down here to say the words ritual homicide.” Mercer looked back at the body, then around the platform. “We’ve got symbols, candles, a corpse in an abandoned station. I’d say they earned it.” Quinn ignored that. “Any witnesses?” “None useful. Couple of reports from Camden High Street about odd humming under the pavement around midnight. One caller said the streetlights flickered. Drunk, probably.” Probably. The word had buried more good leads than incompetence ever had. She moved past the body toward the far end of the platform. The air changed with each step. Colder near the corpse, yes, but also drier, with a metallic note under the mold and dust. Her boots crossed scattered debris untouched by the scene team: broken tile, a beer can gone soft with age, a nest of old newspaper turned to brown lace. Then she stopped. “Mercer.” He came over reluctantly. “What?” She pointed to the platform edge. “See that?” At first there was nothing to see but grime and age. Then Mercer bent slightly and swore. A track of marks ran parallel to the platform edge for about six feet. Not footprints. Not quite. The surface dust had been scuffed away in repeated crescent patterns, as if something heavy with a curved base had been dragged or braced there. Between the crescents lay tiny glittering fragments. Patel joined them, crouched, and shone a penlight. “Glass?” Quinn shook her head. “Not from a bottle.” Patel pinched one fragment into an evidence fold. Under the light it flashed with an oily iridescence, then went oddly dull. Mercer folded his arms. “Could be from the candles. Decorative holders.” “There are no holders,” Quinn said. He opened his mouth, shut it again. She followed the line of marks to the tunnel mouth. The darkness there felt occupied. Not by a person—nothing so simple. The rails vanished into black under an arch of smoke-stained brick. Halfway down the wall, just above knee height, a maintenance alcove stood open. Its metal door hung crooked on one hinge. Quinn went to it. Inside, the alcove was little more than a recess for old electrical cabinets, all of them stripped long ago. New things had been added. A folding chair. Burned matchsticks. Two spent batteries. A cheap plastic flask. A stack of paper scraps weighted under a brick. Mercer hovered behind her. “What’s this tell you? Someone squatted here.” “Someone watched from here,” Quinn said. She slid on gloves and lifted the top paper. Not notes. Printouts. Grainy photographs taken from a distance: men and women entering alleyways, service doors, church basements. One image showed a narrow arch under a bridge painted with an eye. Another showed a woman with curly red hair, head bent, round glasses catching camera flash as she tucked hair behind her left ear and hurried across Bloomsbury with a satchel clutched to her side. Eva Kowalski. Quinn’s jaw set. She flipped through the rest. More locations than people. More watching than action. A pattern she could almost feel, though not yet name. Mercer peered over her shoulder. “Who’s the woman?” “Research assistant at the British Museum,” Quinn said. “Occult specialist. I interviewed her six months ago in connection with a theft that never officially happened.” He gave her a look. “You left that part out.” “It wasn’t relevant then.” “And now?” She slipped the photographs into an evidence bag. “Now it might be.” Behind them Patel called, “Quinn.” She returned to the body. Patel held out a swab packet. “Not chalk,” she said. “Powdered limestone mixed with something resinous. It was painted on with a fine brush.” “Resin,” Quinn repeated. “So the line holds shape over cracks.” “Exactly.” Mercer rubbed his face. “Fine. Fake circle. That doesn’t change the wound.” “No,” Quinn said. “It changes the audience.” He frowned. “The scene isn’t built for whatever killed him. It’s built for us. For the first set of eyes. The killer wanted police, maybe press later, talking about cults and sacrifices. Something theatrical enough to stop us asking practical questions.” “Such as?” “Why a man in a good suit ends up in a hidden station no ordinary person visits. Why there’s almost no blood under a chest wound that should have bled heavily. Why he was laid out after death. Why someone was surveilling specific people and places from a maintenance alcove.” She glanced toward the tunnel. “And why the temperature drops around him.” Mercer shifted. “You keep saying hidden. This place is abandoned, not hidden.” Quinn looked at him. “Then how many maintenance crews have you had down here in the last year?” He hesitated. “None.” “Because this spur is sealed on every public map. The gate above wasn’t just jimmied. It was opened with a key first, then forced to mimic a break-in.” She pointed toward the stairwell. “No splintering around the lock plate. Damage is cosmetic.” Mercer stared at her for a beat, annoyed because she was right. “All right. So someone with access, or someone very prepared.” “Prepared,” Quinn said. “And interrupted.” “By maintenance?” “Maybe. Or by whatever power draw they reported.” That landed between them. Mercer’s skepticism had limits, but it also had a shape. It held against weird symbols and self-important witnesses. It softened when machinery failed without cause. Patel rose. “There’s more. His fingertips.” Quinn took the light and bent close. The victim’s right hand had a dusting of black residue under the nails, like soot ground into the skin. On the left index finger, just above the knuckle, a blister had formed and burst. “Electrical burn?” Mercer asked. Patel shook her head. “Not from any current I know.” Quinn looked again at the wound in the chest. The blackening was wrong for a blade, wrong for a bullet, wrong for fire. It reminded her, unpleasantly, of another room three years ago: plaster walls sweating moisture, the smell of ozone, Morris on his knees with blood in one ear and a look of astonished betrayal frozen on his dead face. The report had said stray current from faulty wiring. The report had lied because nothing else fit. Her hand drifted to the watch on her left wrist, thumb rubbing the worn leather strap. Ground yourself. Look, don’t flinch. She scanned the platform one more time, forcing the pieces to line up by fact rather than dread. The arranged body. The fake ritual circle. Surveillance photographs. Iridescent fragments by the edge. Cold localized around the corpse. Reports of humming and flickering lights. A hidden place that was somehow both abandoned and in use. The answer arrived sideways. “Where are his pockets?” she said. Mercer blinked. “What?” “Inside seams.” She indicated the suit jacket. “Look.” Patel carefully lifted one side of the coat. The external pockets were there, but on the inside lining both breast pockets had been sliced open from within, neat and fast. The victim or someone very close to him had torn at the inside of the jacket, trying to get something out quickly. “Missing property?” Mercer said. “Not a wallet. He’d go for trouser pockets first.” Quinn’s mind moved ahead. “Something kept close. Small enough for an inner pocket.” Patel considered. “Jewelry? Flash drive?” “Or a device.” Quinn looked at the glittering fragments again. Brass flashed in her memory, green with verdigris. A small compass face etched with sigils, in an evidence photo from a prior operation she’d never managed to tie to an arrest because the item had vanished from property before testing. Veil Compass, the anonymous tipster had called it in the accompanying note. Points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal. She did not say that aloud. Not yet. Instead she asked, “Any sign of theft elsewhere?” Mercer spread his hands. “Watch still on him, ring still on him. Cash clip in trouser pocket, untouched.” “Then the killer took one thing and staged the rest.” Patel nodded slowly. “You think he was carrying something valuable enough to build this whole scene around.” “I think he brought someone here because this place mattered to the thing he was carrying.” Quinn turned toward the tunnel mouth. The black seemed to deepen as she looked at it, not by trick of light but by appetite. “And I think the body was left near the edge because whatever happened happened on the tracks.” Mercer stared down. “There’s nothing on the tracks.” “Because everyone keeps looking at the circle.” She stepped off the platform before anyone could object, landing between the rails with a crunch of ballast. The cold sharpened instantly. Here it was strongest, a blade laid along the spine. Her torch swept over rust, sleepers, drifts of dust—and then caught on a mark no one above had noticed. One rail had a smear across it, not red, not oil. Silver-gray, almost luminous. It had dried in a fan shape as though flung outward by force. Opposite it on the tunnel wall, three bricks had cracked in a precise vertical line, mortar blasted from the seams. “Quinn,” Mercer said sharply, “get back up here.” She ignored him. Between two sleepers lay another fragment, larger than the others. She picked it up through her glove. Not glass. Not exactly. The shard curved slightly, translucent black with a sheen that shifted like beetle wing. Along one edge ran a line of etched symbols so fine they nearly disappeared when she tilted it. Patel’s voice floated down, thin with surprise. “What is that?” Quinn looked toward the dark tunnel. Somewhere deep inside, beyond the bend, a faint hum rose and died again, like breath caught in a throat. Her pulse kicked once, hard. “Not a ritual,” she said. Mercer crouched at the platform edge. “Then what?” Quinn closed her fingers around the shard. In her mind the photographs in the alcove rearranged themselves around a map she did not yet have: hidden doors, watched people, a museum archivist who knew too much, a dead man carrying a vanished compass that found tears in the world. Someone had lured him belowground, taken the instrument, and dressed the scene in nonsense to blind the investigation. But they had missed the rail, the pocket seams, the way a body settled when death happened elsewhere. They had missed the fact that this station was not chosen for privacy alone. It had been chosen because something opened here. She climbed back onto the platform, face set, eyes on the tunnel. “Seal both entrances,” she said. “No one in or out without my say. Get me the full maintenance logs, utility records, and every camera within half a mile of Camden High Street. And find Eva Kowalski before someone else does.” Mercer rose with visible irritation. “On what basis?” Quinn slipped the dark shard into an evidence pouch and met his gaze. Her voice stayed level, but underneath it something old and dangerous had begun to wake. “On the basis,” she said, “that this murder scene is a lie built over a doorway, and whoever opened it just stole the key.”
created_at"2026-03-06T12:24:55.439Z" 3/6/2026, 12:24:55 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency651
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time87306
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion4371
native_tokens_prompt835
native_tokens_completion3508
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0547075
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_08ed9c884e955cc10169aac7978d1c8194bc337b2384c2a956"
is_byokfalse
latency266
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1772799895-FeObvDgEZ7GtJ8ovYLHK"
upstream_id"resp_08ed9c884e955cc10169aac7978d1c8194bc337b2384c2a956"
total_cost0.0547075
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags29
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Mercer said sharply [sharply]"
dialogueSentences95
tagDensity0.305
leniency0.611
rawRatio0.034
effectiveRatio0.021
81.45% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2695
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"very"
count3
1
adverb"reluctantly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count2
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
4
adverb"quickly"
count1
5
adverb"slowly"
count1
6
adverb"sharply"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"reluctantly"
2"slightly"
3"carefully"
4"quickly"
5"slowly"
6"sharply"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found
0"Patel"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
81.45% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2695
totalAiIsms10
found
0
word"chill"
count1
1
word"gloom"
count1
2
word"complex"
count1
3
word"measured"
count1
4
word"intricate"
count1
5
word"flickered"
count1
6
word"scanned"
count1
7
word"etched"
count2
8
word"pulse"
count1
highlights
0"chill"
1"gloom"
2"complex"
3"measured"
4"intricate"
5"flickered"
6"scanned"
7"etched"
8"pulse"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences221
matches
0"n with surprise"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences221
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"managed to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences287
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen55
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2691
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions27
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions74
wordCount1938
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity1.44
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Detective1
Harlow1
Quinn28
London1
Camden1
Mercer23
Patel14
Bloomsbury1
Kowalski1
Morris1
Brass1
Compass1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Mercer"
3"Patel"
4"Kowalski"
5"Morris"
6"Brass"
places
0"London"
1"Bloomsbury"
globalScore0.778
windowScore0.333
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences123
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.372
wordCount2691
matches
0"not by trick of light but by appetite"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences287
matches
0"let that sit"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs125
mean21.53
std22.61
cv1.05
sampleLengths
010
168
270
349
43
550
64
771
84
973
108
1123
1233
136
1411
152
1638
1713
1824
1913
20106
215
2237
236
244
255
267
2757
287
292
3011
3110
3210
3311
3417
3525
365
3725
3812
3966
401
415
428
4317
4450
459
468
4721
4811
496
97.32% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences221
matches
0"been placed"
1"been scuffed"
2"been dragged"
3"been added"
4"been sliced"
5"been chosen"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount0
totalVerbs326
matches(empty)
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount4
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences3
totalSentences287
ratio0.01
matches
0"Candles—black, guttered to stubs—had been placed at measured intervals around the circumference."
1"Not by a person—nothing so simple."
2"Her torch swept over rust, sleepers, drifts of dust—and then caught on a mark no one above had noticed."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1949
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount72
adverbRatio0.03694202154951257
lyAdverbCount21
lyAdverbRatio0.0107747562852745
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences287
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences287
mean9.38
std8.24
cv0.878
sampleLengths
010
121
24
319
424
57
616
729
89
99
1012
119
1228
133
1416
1514
165
1715
184
193
2022
2139
227
234
2416
256
2615
2712
2813
298
303
317
321
3323
349
356
3618
373
383
3911
402
414
4234
435
448
453
4617
474
484
499
62.02% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats12
diversityRatio0.397212543554007
totalSentences287
uniqueOpeners114
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount6
totalSentences183
matches
0"Just officers, a forensic photographer,"
1"Then she turned her attention"
2"Then she stopped."
3"Then Mercer bent slightly and"
4"Instead she asked,"
5"Somewhere deep inside, beyond the"
ratio0.033
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount44
totalSentences183
matches
0"It slipped under her collar"
1"It would not."
2"Her leather watch sat cool"
3"Her face gave away nothing."
4"He was younger than her"
5"He nodded toward the corpse"
6"she said without preamble"
7"She had the professional disdain"
8"His suit had once been"
9"She had learned, painfully, not"
10"She leaned closer, not crossing"
11"She looked at Patel."
12"His eyebrows rose."
13"She moved past the body"
14"Her boots crossed scattered debris"
15"He came over reluctantly."
16"She pointed to the platform"
17"He opened his mouth, shut"
18"She followed the line of"
19"Its metal door hung crooked"
ratio0.24
72.02% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount142
totalSentences183
matches
0"The first thing Detective Harlow"
1"This cold had edges."
2"It slipped under her collar"
3"The station had been dead"
4"The old enamel roundels were"
5"A line of defunct bulbs"
6"Water dripped somewhere in the"
7"Uniforms had strung tape between"
8"It would not."
9"Quinn came toward him with"
10"Her leather watch sat cool"
11"Her face gave away nothing."
12"Mercer glanced over."
13"He was younger than her"
14"He nodded toward the corpse"
15"The man lay on his"
16"Someone had arranged him with"
17"Chalk marks encircled the body"
18"Candles—black, guttered to stubs—had been"
19"A dark stain had soaked"
ratio0.776
54.64% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences183
matches
0"By the time she stepped"
1"Even where a crack split"
ratio0.011
93.93% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences73
technicalSentenceCount5
matches
0"Just officers, a forensic photographer, and DI Mercer standing with his hands in his coat pockets, staring at the body as if sheer concentration might make it o…"
1"She had the professional disdain of someone who spent too much time around detectives with pet theories."
2"The flesh around it had blackened in a starburst pattern, as if something hot and narrow had punched in and twisted."
3"The surface dust had been scuffed away in repeated crescent patterns, as if something heavy with a curved base had been dragged or braced there."
4"In her mind the photographs in the alcove rearranged themselves around a map she did not yet have: hidden doors, watched people, a museum archivist who knew too…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags29
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags21
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Quinn repeated (repeat)"
1"Quinn repeated (repeat)"
dialogueSentences95
tagDensity0.221
leniency0.442
rawRatio0.095
effectiveRatio0.042
91.8724%