Run: 2026-03-09-01KK9PZN5WR55WMEFJVYFHXTM1

Run Details

Duration:
3m 21s
Cost:
$0.116778
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By the time Detective Harlow Quinn reached the bottom of the service stairs, the city had narrowed to damp brick, old iron, and the stale breath of a place that should have stayed forgotten. The abandoned station beneath Camden opened below her in a long, dim curve of platform and track, its tiled walls sweating under strings of temporary work lights. Crime scene tape fluttered between rusted pillars. Beyond it, where commuters would once have stood shoulder to shoulder, an illicit market had only just died. Stalls made from patched canvas and scavenged timber crouched in rows along the platform edge. Glass jars glimmered in the gloom. Cages, some empty and some mercifully covered, hung from iron hooks. The air smelled of wet concrete, paraffin, clove smoke, and something sweeter rotting underneath. So the whispers had been true. The Veil Market existed, and tonight it had left her a body. Quinn stepped under the tape. Her shoes clicked once on broken tile, then softened on a runner of threadbare rugs someone had laid down the middle of the platform. She took in the scene the way she always did: fast first, then slow. Exits. Sight lines. Light sources. Faces. Detective Sergeant Fenner waited near the body, hands in the pockets of his suit jacket, mouth set in a look that managed to be both tired and offended. He had the rawboned face of a man who disliked being surprised by the world. Tonight the world had clearly outdone itself. “You got here quickly,” he said. “I was ten minutes away.” Quinn glanced past him. “Witnesses?” “Scattered. Unhelpful. Most of them vanished the second uniforms showed up.” Fenner tipped his head at the maze of stalls. “Can’t say I blame them. Half of what’s down here would get a customs officer to faint dead away.” His tone said contraband, lunatics, theatrical nonsense. He wanted the world back on its rails. Quinn understood the impulse. She’d spent three years watching the rails bend. “Name?” she asked. “Male, fiftyish. No official ID. A few of the stallholders called him Pike. Ran messages, sold introductions, brokered things.” Fenner gave the last word a dry scrape of contempt. “Cut throat, probable robbery. That’s my read.” “Probable,” Quinn repeated. Fenner spread a hand toward the body. “There’s money scattered, a stall overturned, and a dead middleman in the middle of a black market. We don’t need a séance.” A few feet beyond him, crouched by an open evidence case, Eva Kowalski pushed her round glasses up her nose with the back of her wrist and looked over. Her red curls had escaped whatever half-hearted attempt she’d made to restrain them. Freckles stood out sharp against pale skin made paler by the station lights. Her worn leather satchel lay open at her feet, already vomiting notebooks, pencils, and one thick reference volume bristling with paper tabs. Quinn had phoned her on the way down. She still wasn’t sure whether that was desperation or prudence. Eva rose, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her left ear. “Not a séance,” she said. “Just pattern recognition.” Fenner’s mouth tightened. “Right. Of course.” Quinn ignored both of them and moved to the corpse. Pike lay on his back beside a shuttered stall draped in dark velvet. He wore a charcoal overcoat better than anything sold in a place like this ought to have bought him, and a maroon silk scarf gone black with blood. His throat had been opened in one clean, deep line from left to right. His eyes stared at the station ceiling with a glassy resentment that hadn’t had time to settle into peace. A small brass compass rested in his right hand. Even before she crouched, Quinn knew something was wrong with that. The hand itself was wrong. Rigor had started in the fingers, but not in the arrangement she saw. The thumb was tucked too neatly over the case, the grip too staged, as though someone had placed the object there after the muscles had begun to stiffen and then forced the fingers closed around it. She’d seen grieving relatives do that with rosaries. She’d seen killers do it with knives. She checked her watch. “Time of death?” “ME says between midnight and one,” Fenner said. “Body found at one-forty by a stallholder coming back for his stock.” Quinn leaned closer. The brass compass was no ordinary tourist trinket. Verdigris laced the edges of the casing. The face was etched, not with cardinal points, but with a ring of tiny sigils cut so fine they looked almost printed. The needle quivered, then steadied, not north, but toward the tiled wall opposite the platform. Eva saw where Quinn was looking. “It’s a Veil Compass,” she said quietly. “Made in the Market, usually by Shade artisans. They’re attuned to breaches. Nearest portal, nearest rift, that sort of thing.” Fenner snorted. “Or it’s a prop with a magnet in it.” “Then why are the protective sigils hand-cut?” Eva asked. “And why has one of them been deliberately scored through?” Quinn looked up sharply. Eva was already bending again, careful not to cross the markers, peering through her glasses. “There,” Eva said, pointing with a capped pen. “That one. See the gouge? Fresh. Bright metal under the oxidation.” Fenner folded his arms. “And your scholarly opinion is what? Wizard sabotage?” “My scholarly opinion,” Eva said, with more patience than Quinn would have managed, “is that if someone altered how the compass behaves, they did it for a reason.” That, Quinn thought, at least was plain English. She shifted her attention to the body. Pike’s coat was expensive, but the knees of his trousers were dusted white, not with platform grime but with older, finer powder: mortar, maybe, or degraded plaster. His shoes were polished black leather. The soles showed only a little of the platform’s dirt, less than they should have if he’d walked the length of the market tonight. On his left cuff, just above the wrist, there was a faint reddish scrape, brick rather than blood. She scanned the ground around him. Blood had pooled beneath his shoulders and soaked into the runner, but there was almost no arterial spray on the stall cloth beside him, none on the tiled pillar at his head, none across the velvet drape that should have caught it if his throat had been cut where he lay. Fenner saw the direction of her gaze. “People say there was chaos. Screaming, running. Someone could’ve moved him.” “After his throat was cut?” Quinn asked. “Could have happened in the confusion.” She touched two gloved fingers to the runner near the body, then followed a dark seep line with her eyes. Not a trail. More a settling. The blood had pooled here because the body had lain here long enough for gravity to do its work, but the kill itself had happened elsewhere, or in another position. She looked at Pike’s collar. The soaked fabric had bunched beneath his neck in a way that suggested he’d bled while slightly upright, then been lowered flat. Moved, then arranged. “Not confusion,” she said. “Staging.” Fenner exhaled through his nose. “Because there’s not enough splash.” “Because there’s the wrong kind of mess.” She rose and turned slowly, mapping the scene again. Coins glittered near the overturned stall. Silver, brass, two pale carved discs she recognized from the evidence photos as the bone tokens used to enter this place. Too many valuables left lying about for a simple snatch. Pike still wore a heavy signet ring. His coat pocket bulged. Quinn crouched again and nodded to the forensic officer, who carefully turned out the pocket. A wallet. Notes. Another bone token. Fenner’s probable robbery shrank a little more. “If someone killed him for money,” Quinn said, “they were criminally inattentive.” “Or interrupted.” “Long enough to place a compass in his hand?” Fenner had no answer for that, so he offered the one he liked better. “He was a broker. People here deal in oddities and poison and God knows what. Maybe he sold someone bad merchandise. Maybe that thing”—he jerked his chin at the compass—“did whatever these people say such things do.” Eva tucked her hair behind her left ear again, a nervous little movement Quinn had already learned meant she was thinking hard. “A Veil Compass doesn’t slit throats,” she said. “At worst it could lead you somewhere dangerous. Unless—” She stopped. “Unless what?” Quinn asked. Eva looked at the wall where the needle pointed. “Unless someone used it to find a way through.” The tiled wall opposite them had once held advertisements. Now the old poster frames stood empty or layered with cracked bills for vanished clubs, boxing nights, missing cats that had probably died before Quinn made detective. But halfway down the wall, behind a tatty poster for a 1989 charity concert, she saw what the others had missed: the lower edge of the frame sat a fraction proud of the tile. Not much. Three millimeters, perhaps. Enough to catch a draught. Quinn crossed the platform. Fenner muttered something under his breath and followed. Eva gathered her satchel and came too, stepping carefully around the markers. Up close, the frame’s brass edge showed recent scratches. Not age. Fresh abrasions, bright under the grime. At floor level, the dust had been disturbed in a narrow arc, as if the frame had been swung open recently. And there, on the white tile near the hinge side, almost invisible unless the light struck it, was a smear of green. Verdigris. Quinn glanced back at the compass in Pike’s stiff hand. “Your magnet,” she said to Fenner. He said nothing. She ran her fingers along the edge of the frame until she found resistance: a recessed latch hidden behind curling paper. It was tacky. She lifted her hand and found a thin red-brown streak on the glove. Blood. Pike’s blood, or the killer’s. Either would do. “Open it?” Fenner asked. “Photograph it first,” Quinn said. They waited while the SOCO tech swore quietly at the angle and took his shots. Then Quinn grasped the frame and pulled. It came outward on old hinges with a soft, sucking peel of paper from tile. Behind it lay a narrow service door built into the wall, painted the same cream as the tiles, invisible unless you knew where to look. The lock hung broken. Cold air breathed out from the dark beyond, carrying damp earth and a mineral smell older than the station. Eva gave a small, involuntary sound. “That wasn’t on the plans they showed me upstairs.” Quinn took the torch from Fenner’s hand before he could object and played the beam into the passage. Brick steps descended into a maintenance corridor barely shoulder-wide. The walls were rough Victorian masonry, sweating with condensation. Halfway down, there was more blood on the right-hand side, a dragged brush of it at hip height, and below that, a smear where someone had steadied themselves with a dirty hand. The floor held prints in the dust: Pike’s polished shoes, easy enough to spot by the smooth sole; and over them, a heavier tread, square-toed, deep at the heel. Not a panicked scuffle. A controlled movement. One person leading or forcing another down, then back up. Fenner crouched beside her. “Could still be a deal gone bad.” Quinn shone the light lower. “Look at the prints.” He did. Pike’s tracks descended facing forward. The heavier prints followed close behind. On the way back, only the heavier tread faced up the steps. Pike’s marks on the risers were different—scuffed sideways, uneven, as if his heels had bumped each edge while he was being dragged. Eva had gone very still. “The compass was left to point here,” she said. “Yes,” Quinn said. Fenner frowned. “Why would a killer do that?” “To be found,” Eva said. Quinn considered the passage, the carefully placed body, the valuables left behind. “Or to make us look the wrong way.” She went down two steps, enough to angle the torch deeper. The corridor ended in a cramped brick chamber. Someone had marked the floor there with a circle of white powder now smeared by boots. The center of it was empty, but something had rested there recently. The dust showed a clean square impression no larger than a dinner plate. Along one wall, an old iron ladder climbed to blackness. Opposite it, the brick had split from floor to shoulder height in a ragged vertical seam. The edges were scorched. Not fire. Something else. The brick looked blistered from the inside out. Quinn felt the old cold turn over in her gut, the same cold that had sat in the corridor three years ago while Morris bled out and the evidence refused to behave like evidence. She hated that feeling. Hated more that it had taught her caution instead of disbelief. “What do you see?” Fenner asked. She kept her eyes on the split in the wall. “I see Pike wasn’t killed over a handful of coins. I see someone brought him down here alive. He opened this door or showed them where it was. Whatever they wanted was in that chamber, not on the market floor.” She turned and looked back at the body on the platform, small and theatrical now in the work lights. “Then they put him where everyone would find him and dressed the scene as a market squabble.” Fenner straightened. “Why?” “Because if we think black-market murder, we stop at the black market.” Quinn nodded toward the broken sigil on the compass. “But they wanted access. And they wanted this to point to a wall, not to them.” Eva stared past her at the scorched seam. “A rift,” she said softly. Quinn didn’t answer that. Not because she disagreed. Because naming a thing too soon could make you lazy. She climbed back up to the platform and looked once more at Pike. The right cuff. Brick dust. The careful hand placement. The missing spray. The broken lock. A broker, not robbed. A guide, perhaps. Or a blackmailer who had arranged a meeting with the wrong client. She crouched by the corpse one last time and studied his face. There, tucked against the inside of his collar, nearly hidden by blood, was a scrap of paper no bigger than a postage stamp. She eased it free with tweezers. It was not paper at all but a torn cloth label, cream linen, stamped in fading black ink with a catalog number and the crest of the British Museum. Eva saw it and went pale. “That,” she said, “is restricted archive tagging.” Fenner looked between them. “You’re telling me our dead broker was mixed up with museum stock now?” “I’m telling you,” Quinn said, already thinking three moves ahead, “that whatever was in that room wasn’t random, and Pike wasn’t some fool who got himself cut over counterfeit charms.” She stood, the linen tag sealed in its evidence sleeve, the cold air from the hidden passage touching the back of her neck like a warning. “Get me every report of restricted items missing from the museum in the last six months,” she said to Fenner. “And I want the full original plans for this station, not the sanitised set from Transport. Find out who knew the Market would still be here tonight, before the full moon moves it. Start with Pike’s customers and anyone asking after doors, maps, or old tunnels.” Fenner hesitated only a second before nodding and reaching for his phone. Eva closed her satchel with trembling fingers. “Detective,” she said, “if that seam is what I think it is—” Quinn looked at the compass in the dead man’s hand, still unwavering in its accusation toward the open wall. “Then someone came down here knowing exactly what they were looking for,” she said. “And they’ve already found it.”
created_at"2026-03-09T16:30:47.494Z" 3/9/2026, 4:30:47 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency112658
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time200707
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion5230
native_tokens_prompt835
native_tokens_completion7646
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning4241
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.1167775
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_048d5770fd7492e80169aef5b79ad08197b691efb5a65a9c1d"
is_byokfalse
latency289
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773073847-JdziQy2BEQEgsULPPqhp"
upstream_id"resp_048d5770fd7492e80169aef5b79ad08197b691efb5a65a9c1d"
total_cost0.1167775
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags32
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said quietly [quietly]"
1"she said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences66
tagDensity0.485
leniency0.97
rawRatio0.063
effectiveRatio0.061
81.13% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2650
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count1
1
adverb"deliberately"
count1
2
adverb"sharply"
count1
3
adverb"slightly"
count1
4
adverb"slowly"
count1
5
adverb"carefully"
count3
6
adverb"very"
count1
7
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"quickly"
1"deliberately"
2"sharply"
3"slightly"
4"slowly"
5"carefully"
6"very"
7"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
83.02% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2650
totalAiIsms9
found
0
word"fluttered"
count1
1
word"gloom"
count1
2
word"velvet"
count2
3
word"silk"
count1
4
word"etched"
count1
5
word"quivered"
count1
6
word"scanned"
count1
7
word"unwavering"
count1
highlights
0"fluttered"
1"gloom"
2"velvet"
3"silk"
4"etched"
5"quivered"
6"scanned"
7"unwavering"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences207
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences207
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"managed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences241
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen59
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2649
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions31
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions94
wordCount2046
uniqueNames16
maxNameDensity1.56
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Detective2
Harlow1
Quinn32
Camden1
Veil1
Market1
Sergeant1
Fenner23
Eva16
Kowalski1
English1
Pike10
Victorian1
Morris1
British1
Museum1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Camden"
3"Market"
4"Sergeant"
5"Fenner"
6"Eva"
7"Kowalski"
8"Pike"
9"Morris"
places(empty)
globalScore0.718
windowScore0.667
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences124
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
49.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.51
wordCount2649
matches
0"not with cardinal points, but with a ring of tiny sigils cut so fine they looked almost pr"
1"not north, but toward the tiled wall opposite the platform"
2"not with platform grime but with older, finer powder: mortar, maybe"
3"not paper at all but a torn cloth label, cream linen, stamped in fading black ink"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences241
matches
0"hated that feeling"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs102
mean25.97
std24.49
cv0.943
sampleLengths
034
198
218
349
450
56
610
739
827
93
1036
113
1229
1377
1418
1520
166
1710
1874
199
2011
2169
227
2320
2455
2533
2611
2719
2819
2919
3012
3128
328
3382
3457
3518
367
376
3883
393
405
4110
427
4357
4428
4512
462
479
4851
4939
91.70% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount8
totalSentences207
matches
0"being surprised"
1"been opened"
2"was tucked"
3"was etched"
4"were dusted"
5"been lowered"
6"been disturbed"
7"been swung"
8"being dragged"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs359
matches
0"was looking"
1"was already bending"
2"was thinking"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount1
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences2
totalSentences241
ratio0.008
matches
0"The floor held prints in the dust: Pike’s polished shoes, easy enough to spot by the smooth sole; and over them, a heavier tread, square-toed, deep at the heel."
1"Pike’s marks on the risers were different—scuffed sideways, uneven, as if his heels had bumped each edge while he was being dragged."
88.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2052
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"sharp against pale skin"
1"thin red-brown streak"
adverbCount82
adverbRatio0.03996101364522417
lyAdverbCount21
lyAdverbRatio0.01023391812865497
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences241
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences241
mean10.99
std9.33
cv0.849
sampleLengths
034
127
27
318
415
56
611
714
86
912
105
1124
1214
131
142
152
161
1728
1815
197
206
219
221
2320
2419
257
268
274
288
293
3029
317
323
337
3422
3529
3613
3713
3822
398
4010
4112
425
433
443
453
4610
4713
4828
4914
61.96% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats9
diversityRatio0.3941908713692946
totalSentences241
uniqueOpeners95
59.17% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences169
matches
0"More a settling."
1"Too many valuables left lying"
2"Then Quinn grasped the frame"
ratio0.018
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount41
totalSentences169
matches
0"Her shoes clicked once on"
1"She took in the scene"
2"He had the rawboned face"
3"His tone said contraband, lunatics,"
4"He wanted the world back"
5"She’d spent three years watching"
6"Her red curls had escaped"
7"Her worn leather satchel lay"
8"She still wasn’t sure whether"
9"He wore a charcoal overcoat"
10"His throat had been opened"
11"His eyes stared at the"
12"She’d seen grieving relatives do"
13"She’d seen killers do it"
14"She checked her watch."
15"she said quietly"
16"She shifted her attention to"
17"His shoes were polished black"
18"She scanned the ground around"
19"She touched two gloved fingers"
ratio0.243
57.63% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount136
totalSentences169
matches
0"The abandoned station beneath Camden"
1"Crime scene tape fluttered between"
2"Stalls made from patched canvas"
3"Glass jars glimmered in the"
4"The air smelled of wet"
5"The Veil Market existed, and"
6"Quinn stepped under the tape."
7"Her shoes clicked once on"
8"She took in the scene"
9"Detective Sergeant Fenner waited near"
10"He had the rawboned face"
11"Tonight the world had clearly"
12"Quinn glanced past him"
13"Fenner tipped his head at"
14"His tone said contraband, lunatics,"
15"He wanted the world back"
16"Quinn understood the impulse."
17"She’d spent three years watching"
18"Fenner gave the last word"
19"Fenner spread a hand toward"
ratio0.805
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences169
matches
0"By the time Detective Harlow"
1"Even before she crouched, Quinn"
2"Now the old poster frames"
3"Either would do."
4"Because naming a thing too"
ratio0.03
100.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences78
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"By the time Detective Harlow Quinn reached the bottom of the service stairs, the city had narrowed to damp brick, old iron, and the stale breath of a place that…"
1"Blood had pooled beneath his shoulders and soaked into the runner, but there was almost no arterial spray on the stall cloth beside him, none on the tiled pilla…"
2"The soaked fabric had bunched beneath his neck in a way that suggested he’d bled while slightly upright, then been lowered flat."
3"Now the old poster frames stood empty or layered with cracked bills for vanished clubs, boxing nights, missing cats that had probably died before Quinn made det…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags32
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags27
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Quinn repeated (repeat)"
dialogueSentences66
tagDensity0.409
leniency0.818
rawRatio0.037
effectiveRatio0.03
91.2763%