Run: 2026-03-18-01KM09F5E39K0ZVKWTSGVYDJAZ

Run Details

Duration:
25.9s
Cost:
$0.001811
Provider:
Mistral

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4415" name="Lucien Moreau" aliases="Lucien, Luc, the Frenchman" pronouns="he/him" species="Half-Demon" storyRole="Ally"> <eyeColor>heterochromatic — one amber, one black</eyeColor> <hair>slicked-back platinum blond</hair> <height>5'11"</height> <age>32</age> <cane>ivory-handled cane that conceals a thin blade</cane> <dress>tailored charcoal suits</dress> <description>An impeccably dressed fixer and information broker in London's supernatural underworld. He speaks four languages fluently.</description> <backstory>Born in Marseille to a human mother and a demon father from the realm of Avaros.</backstory> </character> <location id="858" name="Eva's Flat" aliases="Eva's place, the flat on Brick Lane" realm="Earth"> <cat>tabby cat named Ptolemy</cat> <security>three deadbolts on the front door</security> <description>A cramped one-bedroom flat above a curry house on Brick Lane, East London. Every surface is covered with books, scrolls, and research notes.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the romance genre. Two people who parted on complicated terms are forced together again when one shows up unannounced at the other's flat. There's history between them — attraction, hurt, and things left unsaid. Write the scene from the moment the door opens. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The bell above the door jingled with a sharp, tinny sound that cut through the perpetual fog of incense smoldering in Eva’s flat. Rory’s fingers stalled on the knot of her apron strings, the weight of the delivery bag suddenly too warm against her hip. She hadn’t meant to stop, hadn’t meant to linger outside the peeling green door framed by a faded East London mural of a blue jay in flight. But the scent of curry oil and old paper, of Eva’s precise handwriting layered over half-read manuscripts, pulled her back anyway. She hadn’t been inside in months. Not since the night she’d thrown a suitcase across the floor in silence, not since she’d slammed the cab door and heard Eva’s voice crack over the pavement—*Rory, wait*—like a prayer spoken too late. She should’ve walked on. Should’ve gone back to the bike chained outside Silas’s place, should’ve delivered tonight’s last order—a box of szechuan sausages to some student flat in Bow—and then crawled into bed alone, where silence was a kind of mercy. But the door wasn’t just a door anymore. It was a threshold, and someone was opening it from the inside. “Rory?” Eva stood in the sliver of light between the door and the frame, her dark hair cropped short now, asymmetrical like she’d trimmed it herself with a pair of kitchen scissors in a moment of restless clarity. Her oversized cardigan—Eva’s uniform in any season—was stained at the cuff with what looked like tea gone cold. Behind her, Ptolemy the tabby lounged on the mantel like a judge over a minor misdemeanor, tail flicking. Rory’s breath hitched. She hadn’t expected Eva to be home. Hadn’t expected *this*—Eva, here, in her own flat, with the weight of their last conversation still hanging in the air like the smoke from Eva’s joss sticks. That night had been a slow-motion collision: Rory’s bag hitting the floor, Eva’s plea melting into the clatter of plates as she dropped a fork, the way Eva’s hands had trembled when she grabbed Rory’s wrist—not to pull her close, but to keep her from leaving. *Don’t go. Not like this.* And Rory had jerked free, words like shattered glass between them. Now, it was Eva, breathing shallowly, her fingers clenching the doorframe like she might anchor herself to the earth before it rushed away beneath her. “You’re late,” Eva said. Not an accusation. Just a fact. Her voice was softer than Rory remembered, worn thin around the edges from too many late nights and too much stew reheated until it lost its shape. Rory swallowed. “Delivery was heavy.” Eva’s eyes flickered down to the sweat-stained bag slung over Rory’s shoulder, then back up. A beat of silence, thick as the mist over the Thames. Then— “You’re not delivering now.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, delivered with the quiet certainty of someone who knew trucks, trains, the rhythm of last orders. Eva stepped back, pushing the door wider, and Rory caught the scent of old books, burnt sage, the faint metallic tang of the radiator that never quite warmed the flat enough in winter. She should’ve lied. Should’ve said she’d just happened to be passing, that she was delivering to someone down the street. But the lie died on her tongue, choked by the memory of Eva’s laugh when she’d read Borges aloud in broken Spanish while Rory pretended not to understand, just to watch the way Eva’s mouth curled at the corners. So she said nothing. Stepped inside. The door swung shut behind her with a finality that made Rory’s pulse stutter. Eva turned, her socked feet silent on the wooden floor, and Rory caught the faintest tremor in Eva’s shoulders, like she was bracing for impact. Rory dropped the bag onto the dining table—Eva’s makeshift desk, covered in scattered pages, a half-empty mug of herbal tea gone cold, a spiral-bound notebook filled with Eva’s looping, precise handwriting. The kind she used when tracking details, decoding myths, mapping the impossible. Eva had always been mapping things. Constellations in the sky, patterns in tea leaves, the unstable fault lines between people—especially Rory. “You’re not supposed to be here,” Eva said. Rory exhaled through her nose. “I know.” Eva’s gaze dropped to Rory’s left wrist—the crescent scar barely visible beneath the sleeve of her jacket. She reached out as if to touch it, then stopped short, her fingers curling into a fist at her side. “You changed your number.” “Yeah.” “You blocked me on everything.” Rory nodded. “I know I did.” Eva exhaled sharply through her nose, a sound that might have been a laugh if it hadn’t been so hollow. “So this is your apology? Showing up with a bag of dumplings and a ‘sorry I ghosted you’?” Rory’s jaw tightened. “They’re not dumplings. Golden Empress doesn’t do dumplings. It’s szechuan sausage.” Eva blinked. For a second, Rory thought maybe she’d actually made Eva laugh. But then Eva’s mouth twitched—not quite a smile—and she turned away, busying herself with straightening a stack of papers on the table. “You always were terrible at apologies.” “Maybe because I never meant to hurt you.” Eva stilled. The silence that followed was a living thing, coiled tight around Rory’s ribs. Then Eva spoke, voice quiet, almost too soft to hear over the hum of the fridge. “That’s not how it felt.” Rory closed her eyes. She remembered the way Eva’s hands had shaken when she’d grabbed Rory’s wrist that night. Not to stop her from leaving the flat—just to keep her from walking away. *Don’t go. Not like this.* And Rory had torn free, words spilling out of her like broken glass. *I can’t stay. Not after what he did. Not after what you—* She’d stopped herself. Never finished the sentence. Never told Eva that the betrayal she’d feared wasn’t from Evan. Not really. It was from the way Eva had looked at her that night, like Rory was a puzzle Eva had tried to solve and failed. When she opened her eyes again, Eva was watching her, unblinking. The room seemed to tilt slightly, the air too thick to breathe. Eva stepped forward, one slow, deliberate step, then another. Rory’s pulse jumped into her throat. She could have stepped back. Could have put distance between them—just an arm’s length, just enough to make this moment survivable. But her feet were rooted to the floor, heavy as if she’d stepped into wet cement. Eva stopped just shy of touching her. Close enough that Rory could feel the warmth radiating off her, close enough that she could see the faint scar above Eva’s eyebrow—a childhood tumble down the stairs of their grammar school, nothing more. Close enough that Rory could see the exhaustion in Eva’s eyes, the way her lashes trembled when she blinked. “You look like hell,” Eva said. Rory almost laughed. Almost. “So do you.” Eva’s lips twitched, then settled into something more vulnerable. “Why are you here, Rory?” Rory swallowed. Her throat was dry, her palms damp. She wanted to say something poetic, something that would erase the weight of the past six months. But all that came out was, “Because Lucien sent me.” Eva’s eyebrows lifted, just a fraction. “Lucien?” “He found me tonight. Outside Silas’s.” Rory’s voice cracked on Silas’s name, the way it always did now. The bar above which Rory slept, beneath which something darker festered—something Lucien had once helped her bury. “Something’s happening. With the veil. He needs us both.” Eva’s expression darkened, her fingers flexing at her sides. “He sent you here? To me?” Rory nodded. “He said you’d know what it means. That Petra’s fragment—it’s stirring again.” Eva exhaled sharply through her nose, turning away. She walked to the window, pulling aside the curtain just enough to peer down at Brick Lane below. Neon signs flickered in the dusk—Indian restaurants, a bookshop, the skeletal remains of a former pub turned squat turned studio. Eva’s reflection in the glass was brittle, like she might shatter if Rory breathed too hard. “You left,” Eva said quietly, not turning around. “You left and didn’t look back. And now Lucien shows up, playing his games, and suddenly—what? I’m supposed to forget that you vanished? That I had to hear from Silas that you were still alive?” The words hit Rory like stones. She stepped toward Eva, stopping just behind her, close enough to feel the heat from her body, close enough to smell the vanilla and lavender of Eva’s shampoo, the scent of home. “I left because staying would’ve killed me.” Eva turned then, her dark eyes burning. “And leaving didn’t?” Rory’s breath caught. There was a depth to Eva’s gaze she hadn’t seen in months—the kind that made Rory’s chest ache. She wanted to reach out, to trace the curve of Eva’s cheek, to press her palm against the side of Eva’s neck where her pulse fluttered like a trapped bird. But her hands stayed at her sides, clenched tight. “I didn’t know how to stay,” Rory whispered. “Not after what I did.” Eva’s eyes flickered—confusion, then understanding. “You think this is about your ex? Evan?” Rory shook her head. “It’s about everything. About the way I froze when you needed me. About the way I lied to you—” “Rory.” Eva’s voice was a command, sharp and final. “Evan hurt you. He was using you. I know that. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself for that.” Tears pricked Rory’s eyes. She turned her face away, blinking rapidly. “It’s not just that.” “Then what is it?” Rory’s voice broke. “It’s the fact that I knew. I *knew* what you were asking for that night—that you wanted me to stay, to *choose* you. And I couldn’t. Not when I was so sure I was broken beyond repair.” Eva was silent for a long moment. Then, softly, she said, “You were never broken.” Rory laughed, bitter and raw. “I spent two years with a man who made me believe I was disposable. And when you—” Her voice cracked. “When you reached for me, it felt like standing in the middle of a storm.” Eva reached out then, her fingers brushing Rory’s wrist—not to pull her close, but to offer something. Support. Connection. A lifeline. Rory’s breath hitched as Eva’s thumb grazed the crescent scar, the one Evan had given her in a moment of drunken rage. The one that still ached when Rory dreamed. “I was scared too,” Eva said. “Scared that I’d lose you. Scared that I’d push too hard. Scared that you’d never trust me enough to stay.” Rory’s vision blurred. “I *do* trust you.” Eva’s smile was sad, bittersweet. “Then why did you go?” Rory had no answer. Not one that made sense. Not one that erased the nights she’d spent crying into her pillow, listening to Eva’s voice on old messages, the way her hands had shook when she’d delete them. Before she could respond, Eva’s stomach growled—a ridiculous, human sound that broke the spell. Eva laughed softly, wiping at her eyes. “I haven’t eaten.” Rory nodded, swallowing hard. “I brought food.” Eva raised an eyebrow. “Golden Empress szechuan sausages?” Rory almost smiled. “Iced coffee too. From that place on Roman Road you like.” Eva’s eyes softened. “Stupid romantic.” Rory’s throat tightened. “I didn’t know if it would matter.” Eva stepped closer, close enough that Rory could feel the warmth of her breath. “It matters.” And then—slowly, hesitantly—Eva reached up, her fingers finding Rory’s jaw, tilting her face just enough to press their lips together. It wasn’t a kiss of passion or possession. It was softer. Gentler. Like the brush of silk against skin, like the first hopeful breath after a storm. Rory’s eyes fluttered shut, her hands rising to grip Eva’s waist—not to pull her close, but to anchor herself to the warmth, to the *life* of her. When they parted, Eva rested her forehead against Rory’s, her breath warm against Rory’s lips. “I missed you,” she whispered. Rory’s chest ached. She opened her mouth to respond, but the words dissolved into a kiss deeper than the last, one that promised forgiveness in every trembling sigh, every whispered syllable of their names tangled together beneath the scent of tea and old paper, beneath the hum of a world on the brink of fracture.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:57:07.537Z" 3/18/2026, 10:57:07 AM
model"mistralai/mistral-small-2603" 1/1/2603, 12:00:00 AM
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency381
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time25756
tokens_prompt808
tokens_completion3293
native_tokens_prompt784
native_tokens_completion2822
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.0018108
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"f5ed6283-4e17-457d-98cd-2ec0c318171d"
id"84f309042fbf4b1693274de76a4735c6"
is_byokfalse
latency381
model_permaslug"mistralai/mistral-small-2603" 1/1/2603, 12:00:00 AM
provider_name"Mistral"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773831427-Y0RxeD68cy5dlD2DTV8O"
upstream_id"84f309042fbf4b1693274de76a4735c6"
total_cost0.0018108
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Mistral"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags10
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Eva said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.192
leniency0.385
rawRatio0.1
effectiveRatio0.038
75.97% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2081
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"suddenly"
count2
1
adverb"sharply"
count2
2
adverb"really"
count1
3
adverb"slightly"
count1
4
adverb"softly"
count2
5
adverb"slowly"
count1
6
adverb"hesitantly"
count1
highlights
0"suddenly"
1"sharply"
2"really"
3"slightly"
4"softly"
5"slowly"
6"hesitantly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
32.72% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2081
totalAiIsms28
found
0
word"weight"
count3
1
word"silence"
count4
2
word"trembled"
count2
3
word"shattered"
count1
4
word"clenching"
count1
5
word"flickered"
count3
6
word"pulse"
count3
7
word"could feel"
count2
8
word"warmth"
count3
9
word"eyebrow"
count2
10
word"fluttered"
count2
11
word"stomach"
count1
12
word"silk"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"silence"
2"trembled"
3"shattered"
4"clenching"
5"flickered"
6"pulse"
7"could feel"
8"warmth"
9"eyebrow"
10"fluttered"
11"stomach"
12"silk"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences143
matches
0"was sad"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences143
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"happened to"
1"tried to"
2"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences183
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen52
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans9
markdownWords29
totalWords2056
ratio0.014
matches
0"Rory, wait"
1"this"
2"Don’t go. Not like this."
3"Don’t go. Not like this."
4"I can’t stay. Not after what he did. Not after what you—"
5"knew"
6"choose"
7"do"
8"life"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions20
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions139
wordCount1672
uniqueNames16
maxNameDensity4.01
worstName"Eva"
maxWindowNameDensity7
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Eva67
East1
London1
Silas2
Bow1
Ptolemy1
Rory56
Thames1
Borges1
Spanish1
Evan2
Lucien1
Brick1
Lane1
Indian1
Tears1
persons
0"Eva"
1"Silas"
2"Rory"
3"Evan"
4"Lucien"
5"Tears"
places
0"East"
1"London"
2"Bow"
3"Thames"
4"Brick"
5"Lane"
globalScore0
windowScore0
92.53% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences87
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"looked like tea gone cold"
1"not quite a smile—and she turned away, busying herself with straightening a stack of papers on the table"
54.09% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.459
wordCount2056
matches
0"not to pull her close, but to keep her from leaving"
1"not to pull her close, but to offer something"
2"not to pull her close, but to anchor herself to the warmth, to the *life* of her"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences183
matches
0"passing, that she"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs66
mean31.15
std28.85
cv0.926
sampleLengths
0133
161
21
373
4124
537
65
727
84
957
1059
116
1282
1321
148
157
1641
171
185
196
2038
2114
2241
238
2436
25107
2675
2760
286
297
3014
3136
327
3344
3415
3514
3662
3743
3845
3910
4060
4113
4213
4323
4428
4515
464
4740
4815
4940
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences143
matches
0"was stained"
1"were rooted"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs297
matches
0"was opening"
1"was delivering"
2"was bracing"
3"was watching"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount27
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences22
totalSentences183
ratio0.12
matches
0"Not since the night she’d thrown a suitcase across the floor in silence, not since she’d slammed the cab door and heard Eva’s voice crack over the pavement—*Rory, wait*—like a prayer spoken too late."
1"Should’ve gone back to the bike chained outside Silas’s place, should’ve delivered tonight’s last order—a box of szechuan sausages to some student flat in Bow—and then crawled into bed alone, where silence was a kind of mercy."
2"Her oversized cardigan—Eva’s uniform in any season—was stained at the cuff with what looked like tea gone cold."
3"Hadn’t expected *this*—Eva, here, in her own flat, with the weight of their last conversation still hanging in the air like the smoke from Eva’s joss sticks."
4"That night had been a slow-motion collision: Rory’s bag hitting the floor, Eva’s plea melting into the clatter of plates as she dropped a fork, the way Eva’s hands had trembled when she grabbed Rory’s wrist—not to pull her close, but to keep her from leaving."
5"Then—"
6"Rory dropped the bag onto the dining table—Eva’s makeshift desk, covered in scattered pages, a half-empty mug of herbal tea gone cold, a spiral-bound notebook filled with Eva’s looping, precise handwriting."
7"Constellations in the sky, patterns in tea leaves, the unstable fault lines between people—especially Rory."
8"Eva’s gaze dropped to Rory’s left wrist—the crescent scar barely visible beneath the sleeve of her jacket."
9"But then Eva’s mouth twitched—not quite a smile—and she turned away, busying herself with straightening a stack of papers on the table."
10"Not to stop her from leaving the flat—just to keep her from walking away."
11"Not after what you—* She’d stopped herself."
12"Could have put distance between them—just an arm’s length, just enough to make this moment survivable."
13"Close enough that Rory could feel the warmth radiating off her, close enough that she could see the faint scar above Eva’s eyebrow—a childhood tumble down the stairs of their grammar school, nothing more."
14"The bar above which Rory slept, beneath which something darker festered—something Lucien had once helped her bury."
15"Neon signs flickered in the dusk—Indian restaurants, a bookshop, the skeletal remains of a former pub turned squat turned studio."
16"There was a depth to Eva’s gaze she hadn’t seen in months—the kind that made Rory’s chest ache."
17"Eva’s eyes flickered—confusion, then understanding."
18"Eva reached out then, her fingers brushing Rory’s wrist—not to pull her close, but to offer something."
19"Before she could respond, Eva’s stomach growled—a ridiculous, human sound that broke the spell."
20"And then—slowly, hesitantly—Eva reached up, her fingers finding Rory’s jaw, tilting her face just enough to press their lips together."
21"Rory’s eyes fluttered shut, her hands rising to grip Eva’s waist—not to pull her close, but to anchor herself to the warmth, to the *life* of her."
89.68% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1699
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount88
adverbRatio0.05179517363154797
lyAdverbCount15
lyAdverbRatio0.008828722778104767
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences183
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences183
mean11.23
std9.95
cv0.886
sampleLengths
023
122
227
321
46
534
64
737
88
912
101
1137
1218
1318
143
157
1627
1746
182
1914
2025
214
223
233
2427
252
263
2715
2811
291
304
314
3220
3333
343
3517
3639
374
382
3914
4025
4131
4212
436
4415
458
465
472
4817
4920
46.17% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats7
diversityRatio0.273224043715847
totalSentences183
uniqueOpeners50
82.64% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences121
matches
0"Just a fact."
1"Then Eva spoke, voice quiet,"
2"Then, softly, she said,"
ratio0.025
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount25
totalSentences121
matches
0"She hadn’t meant to stop,"
1"She hadn’t been inside in"
2"She should’ve walked on."
3"It was a threshold, and"
4"Her oversized cardigan—Eva’s uniform in"
5"She hadn’t expected Eva to"
6"Her voice was softer than"
7"It wasn’t a question."
8"It was a statement, delivered"
9"She should’ve lied."
10"She reached out as if"
11"She remembered the way Eva’s"
12"*I can’t stay."
13"It was from the way"
14"She could have stepped back."
15"Her throat was dry, her"
16"She wanted to say something"
17"She walked to the window,"
18"She stepped toward Eva, stopping"
19"She wanted to reach out,"
ratio0.207
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount84
totalSentences121
matches
0"The bell above the door"
1"Rory’s fingers stalled on the"
2"She hadn’t meant to stop,"
3"She hadn’t been inside in"
4"She should’ve walked on."
5"It was a threshold, and"
6"Eva stood in the sliver"
7"Her oversized cardigan—Eva’s uniform in"
8"Rory’s breath hitched."
9"She hadn’t expected Eva to"
10"That night had been a"
11"Her voice was softer than"
12"Eva’s eyes flickered down to"
13"A beat of silence, thick"
14"It wasn’t a question."
15"It was a statement, delivered"
16"Eva stepped back, pushing the"
17"She should’ve lied."
18"The door swung shut behind"
19"Eva turned, her socked feet"
ratio0.694
82.64% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences121
matches
0"Now, it was Eva, breathing"
1"Before she could respond, Eva’s"
ratio0.017
73.73% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences62
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"That night had been a slow-motion collision: Rory’s bag hitting the floor, Eva’s plea melting into the clatter of plates as she dropped a fork, the way Eva’s ha…"
1"Now, it was Eva, breathing shallowly, her fingers clenching the doorframe like she might anchor herself to the earth before it rushed away beneath her."
2"It was a statement, delivered with the quiet certainty of someone who knew trucks, trains, the rhythm of last orders."
3"The door swung shut behind her with a finality that made Rory’s pulse stutter."
4"There was a depth to Eva’s gaze she hadn’t seen in months—the kind that made Rory’s chest ache."
5"Not one that erased the nights she’d spent crying into her pillow, listening to Eva’s voice on old messages, the way her hands had shook when she’d delete them."
25.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags10
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Rory’s voice cracked on, the way it always did now"
1"Eva said quietly, not turning around"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags8
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Rory whispered (whisper)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.154
leniency0.308
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.077
81.8396%