Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ01D32932MNEF6RJ4VT6NFA

Run Details

Duration:
1m 22s
Cost:
$0.012899
Provider:
Xiaomi

Model input

System
You are an expert fiction writer. Always keep the following rules in mind: - Write in past tense and use General English spelling, grammar, and colloquialisms/slang. - Write in active voice - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. - Avoid adverbs and cliches and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Convey events and story through dialogue. - Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. - Skip "he/she said said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech - Avoid mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or add unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Reduce indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" When writing text: - NEVER conclude the scene on your own, follow the beat instructions very closely. - NEVER end with foreshadowing. - NEVER write further than what I prompt you with. - AVOID imagining possible endings, NEVER deviate from the instructions. - STOP EARLY if the continuation contains what was required in the instructions. You do not need to fill out the full amount of words possible.
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4415" name="Lucien Moreau" aliases="Lucien, Luc, the Frenchman" pronouns="he/him" species="Half-Demon" storyRole="Ally"> <eyeColor>heterochromatic — one amber, one black</eyeColor> <hair>slicked-back platinum blond</hair> <height>5'11"</height> <age>32</age> <cane>ivory-handled cane that conceals a thin blade</cane> <dress>tailored charcoal suits</dress> <description>An impeccably dressed fixer and information broker in London's supernatural underworld. He speaks four languages fluently.</description> <backstory>Born in Marseille to a human mother and a demon father from the realm of Avaros.</backstory> </character> <location id="858" name="Eva's Flat" aliases="Eva's place, the flat on Brick Lane" realm="Earth"> <cat>tabby cat named Ptolemy</cat> <security>three deadbolts on the front door</security> <description>A cramped one-bedroom flat above a curry house on Brick Lane, East London. Every surface is covered with books, scrolls, and research notes.</description> </location> </codex> Continue the story using the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the romance genre. Two people who parted on complicated terms are forced together again when one shows up unannounced at the other's flat. There's history between them — attraction, hurt, and things left unsaid. Write the scene from the moment the door opens. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
The third deadbolt stuck. Rory jiggled the key, pressed her shoulder into the wood, and felt the mechanism grind home with a clunk that vibrated through her collarbone. She kicked the door shut behind her and dropped Eva's spare keys on the kitchen counter next to a tower of unopened post and a half-eaten naan wrapped in foil. Ptolemy wound between her ankles, meowing with the desperate conviction of a cat who hadn't eaten in days, despite the full bowl of kibble three feet away. "Don't start." She dumped her jacket over a stack of Welsh-language manuscripts and navigated the narrow corridor between Eva's desk and the bookshelf that leaned at an angle that shouldn't have been structurally sound. Scrolls. Scrolls everywhere. On the sofa, on the radiator cover, curling out of filing boxes like some kind of academic fungus. Eva had been chasing a lead on ley line convergence points across South Wales for three weeks, and the flat looked like a medieval library had exploded. Rory dropped onto the sofa, displacing a rolled-up Ordnance Survey map and a biography of John Dee. Ptolemy vaulted onto her lap and began purring with industrial intensity. She scratched behind his ears and closed her eyes. Her phone buzzed. Eva's name on the screen. "You made it in?" "Your cat is guilting me." "He does that. There's leftover biryani in the fridge. And don't touch the scrolls on the radiator — I've got them in a specific order." "They're in a specific chaos." "System. The word is system." Rory smiled. "How's Cardiff?" "Mum made cawl. Dad's pretending he doesn't have gout. Normal weekend." "Give them my love." "Always. Lock all three deadbolts tonight, yeah?" "Yes, Mum." Rory hung up and stared at the ceiling. A water stain in the corner looked like a map of Ireland if she squinted. She didn't squint. The knock came at half ten. She'd changed into a threadbare Cardiff University t-shirt and joggers, her hair still damp from the shower. Ptolemy had migrated to the radiator — specifically, onto Eva's forbidden scroll order — and looked comfortable about it. Rory had been halfway through a mug of tea and a chapter of a pulpy detective novel when the sound cut through. Three knocks. Measured. Patient. Eva didn't get visitors at half ten. Eva didn't really get visitors at all. Rory stood and crossed to the door. She pressed her eye to the peephole, and the fisheye lens warped the corridor outside into a funhouse tunnel. A figure stood back from the door, angled slightly away, as if he knew she'd be checking. The hallway light caught the edge of a charcoal suit jacket and a shock of platinum hair. Her stomach dropped. She pulled back from the peephole and stood very still. The detective novel lay open on the sofa, spine cracked, pages splayed. Ptolemy purred on his throne of scrolls. The curry house below sent a faint pulse of cumin and ghee through the floorboards. Another knock. Same rhythm. Same patience. "You might as well open it, Rory. I can hear you breathing." The voice curled through the door like smoke — low, accented, unhurried. French vowels stretched taut over English consonants. She'd forgotten how it sounded. She hadn't forgotten anything. She threw the first deadbolt. Then the second. The third one stuck again, and she had to brace and shove, which meant by the time the door swung open, her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing harder than she wanted to be. Lucien Moreau stood in Eva's corridor with his ivory-handled cane hooked over one forearm and a paper bag from the twenty-four-hour off-licence dangling from his fingers. His suit was charcoal — it was always charcoal — cut close through the shoulders and tapering to a clean break above polished Oxfords. His hair, that impossible platinum, was slicked back from a face that belonged on a coin or a wanted poster, depending on your perspective. One amber eye and one black, catching the light differently. He looked like he'd walked out of a photograph she'd deleted six months ago. "You found me." She leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms. "Arcane arts of investigation. I asked the barman downstairs." The corner of his mouth twitched. "Silas said you were cat-sitting. He also said I should tell you that your rent is due." "Silas can wait." "Indeed." They stood there. The corridor smelled like damp plaster and the ghost of someone's lamb bhuna. A fluorescent tube flickered two doors down. Lucien's heterochromatic gaze moved over her — the university shirt, the joggers, the damp hair, the bare feet on cold linoleum — and something in his expression shifted, tightened, like a hand closing around something fragile. "You look—" he started. "Don't." He pressed his lips together and raised the off-licence bag. "I brought wine. A Sauternes. I recall you have a weakness for things that are too sweet." She wanted to close the door. She wanted to tell him to go back to whatever underworld bolthole he'd crawled from. She wanted to ask how he'd known where she was, and then she remembered that knowing where people were was literally his profession, and that the information had probably cost him nothing more than a phone call. She stepped aside. Lucien entered the flat with the kind of care that suggested he'd spent time in cramped spaces and learned not to knock things over. Even so, he nearly caught his cane on a stack of books near the door. His gaze swept the room — the scrolls, the maps, the leaning shelves, the cat — and he raised an eyebrow. "Charming." "Eva's system." "System." He set the wine on the kitchen counter and produced a corkscrew from his jacket pocket, because of course he did. "Glasses?" She didn't want to make this easy. She pulled two mismatched mugs from the draining board and set them down next to the wine. Lucien studied them — one said WORLD'S BEST NAN, the other featured a faded cartoon cat — and his mouth did that thing again, the almost-smile that had undone her the first time and the fifth time and the fortieth. "Mugs." "You're lucky I'm not using the ones with chip marks." He poured. The wine caught the kitchen light, golden and viscous. He pushed the cat mug toward her and kept the nan mug for himself, and the absurdity of it — Lucien Moreau, half-demon, information broker, tailored suit and blade-cane and four languages, drinking Sauternes out of a mug that said WORLD'S BEST NAN — cracked something open in her chest that she'd spent six months sealing shut. She drank. The wine was excellent. Too sweet, like he'd said. Her weakness. "You should call before you show up at people's doors." "Would you have answered?" "No." "There we are, then." He leaned against the counter, ankles crossed, cane propped beside him. Ptolemy had abandoned the scrolls and was circling Lucien's legs with suspicious interest, tail high. Lucien glanced down. "Friend of yours?" "Ptolemy. He likes people who don't like him." "How perceptive." Lucien bent and extended two fingers. The cat sniffed them, then headbutted his knuckles with such force that Lucien's hand jerked back. He recovered, ran his fingers along the tabby's spine, and straightened. Rory watched. She hadn't seen him move in six months, and now she was cataloguing everything — the way he held himself, the way his cane never fully bore his weight, the way his black eye caught the light and swallowed it while the amber one burned. She remembered the last time she'd seen him. The car park behind Covent Garden. Rain. His hand on her arm, and her pulling away, and the look on his face like she'd slid a knife between his ribs and twisted. "Why are you here, Lucien?" He set his mug down. The playfulness drained from his expression, and what replaced it was something older, wearier. He reached into his inside jacket pocket and produced a photograph — creased, as if it had been folded and unfolded many times. He laid it on the counter between them. Rory picked it up. A building. Stone facade, arched windows, a wrought-iron gate. Trees. Somewhere in London, maybe, or the edges of it. A date stamp in the corner read three days ago. "Know it?" She didn't. She shook her head. "Marshalsea House. It's in Southwark, tucked behind the old prison site. Owned by a trust that doesn't exist. Last Tuesday, someone broke in and removed an item from the basement — a reliquary, silver, dating to the fourteenth century." He paused. "The building's wards collapsed after the theft. Three people in the surrounding area have been hospitalised since. Waking nightmares, cardiac events, one woman aged thirty years in two days." Rory set the photograph down. "That's terrible. Why are you telling me?" "Because the person who took the reliquary used a key made from bone. And the last person in London who had access to that kind of work was Evan Hale." The name hit her like cold water. She set her mug down carefully, but her fingers were shaking, and the ceramic rattled against the counter. Lucien's gaze dropped to her hands. To the crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist, half-hidden by the sleeve of her shirt. Rory pulled her hand back and shoved it behind her back, a reflex she'd thought she'd outgrown. "Evan doesn't have anything to do with—" "I know what he did to you." The words were quiet. No accusation, no pity. A statement of fact, delivered in the same measured tone he used for everything — negotiations, threats, the time he'd told her the exact number of ways a person could die in the tunnels beneath the Barbican. She'd asked him once why he spoke like that, and he'd said it was because his father had never raised his voice and still made everyone in the room afraid. "Silas told you," she said. "Eva told me. Before Cardiff. She said if I ever came near you, she'd salt my thresholds and bind my name." A beat. "She's terrifying, your Eva." "She's protective." "She's right to be." The flat felt smaller. The books and scrolls pressed in from all sides, and the yellow light from the overhead bulb painted everything in the same tired hue. Ptolemy had settled on Lucien's shoes, which meant Lucien was now effectively pinned to the counter by a ten-pound tabby. "I need your help, Rory." "You need a lot of things. A therapist. A better tailor, and that suit costs more than my annual rent." "Flattery." "It's not flattery. Your pocket square is crooked." His hand went to his breast pocket before he caught himself. The movement was so fast, so human, that Rory almost laughed. Almost. She pressed her lips together and looked at the photograph again. "I haven't seen Evan in two years. I moved to London to get away from him. You know this." "I know. But someone is using his methods, his contacts, his bone-work. If he's back—" "Then that's a you problem. A supernatural underworld fixer problem. Not mine." Lucien was quiet for a moment. He reached down, extracted his shoes from beneath Ptolemy with practiced gentleness, and crossed the narrow kitchen in two steps. He stopped close enough that she could smell his cologne — something warm, amber, with an undertone of smoke that wasn't from the bottle. Half-demon. She'd never asked about the smoke. She'd never had to. "Last time I came to you with information about a threat, you told me you didn't want to be involved in my world anymore. You said you wanted normal. Delivery shifts, quiet evenings, a flat with leaky pipes." "Still do." "And I respected that. For six months." "You call this respecting it?" "I call this the alternative being worse." He held her gaze. Both eyes, amber and black, steady. "If Evan is back, you're not safe. The wards on your building are adequate but not impenetrable. Silas knows what you are — what you can do — and so does anyone who's been asking around. And people have been asking." She hadn't told anyone what she could do. Not fully. Not the way the ability lived in her hands like static electricity, how she could pull the hum of a ward apart with her fingers, how she could read the architecture of magical protections the way a musician read a score. Evan had known. Evan had used it. Evan had— She stopped the thought and picked up her wine. "How much of this is about the reliquary, and how much is about you needing me to unlock something?" Lucien's jaw tightened. "Both." "At least you're honest." "I've always been honest with you. That was the problem." The words landed in the space between them and stayed there. Rory took a long drink of the Sauternes. Too sweet. Her weakness. She looked at him over the rim of the cat mug and found his expression open in a way she hadn't seen before — the mask of the fixer, the half-demon who spoke four languages and made deals in candlelit rooms, stripped back to reveal something underneath that looked like want and fear in equal measure. "The last time I saw you," she said, "you let me walk away." "I did." "You didn't fight for it." "No." "Why?" He was quiet for a long time. Ptolemy, sensing the shift in atmosphere, abandoned his post and stalked into the bedroom with his tail switching. Outside, a siren wailed somewhere toward Whitechapel and faded. The curry house below had closed, and the smell of spices was cooling, solidifying into something heavier. "Because you asked me not to," he said. "And I have spent every day since wondering if that was the right thing or the cruelest thing I've ever done." Rory set the mug down. Her chest ached. Not the sharp ache of anger or the dull ache of grief — something in between, a frequency she'd forgotten her body could tune to. "If I help you with this," she said, "it doesn't change anything between us." "Understood." "I mean it, Lucien." "I know you do." He hadn't moved. He stood in Eva's kitchen in his charcoal suit with his crooked pocket square and his ivory cane and his two-coloured eyes, and he waited. Not pressing. Not pushing. Just there, solid and present and smelling of smoke and amber, the way he'd been there before she'd told him to stop being there at all. She reached for the photograph again. Marshalsea House. Stone and iron and arched windows. Somewhere in that building, someone had pulled a bone key from their pocket and opened a door that should have stayed shut. "Tomorrow," she said. "After my shift." "I'll pick you up." "I'll meet you there." A pause. "Rory." "Tomorrow, Lucien." He collected his cane from beside the counter. His fingers brushed hers on the counter's edge — a ghost of contact, electric, a current running from his skin to hers through the scar on her wrist — and then he was at the door, sliding the first two deadbolts back with practiced ease. The third one stuck. He shouldered it open the same way she had, and she watched his back, the tailored line of his shoulders, the way the corridor light carved his silhouette into something sharp and temporary. He looked back. One amber eye, one black. "Lock up after me. All three." "I always do." He left. She stood in Eva's flat with the taste of Sauternes on her tongue and the ghost of his fingers on her skin and the photograph on the counter, and she listened to his footsteps recede down the stairs, measured and patient, the same way he'd knocked. She locked the three deadbolts. The third one stuck. She didn't go back to the detective novel. She sat on the sofa with Ptolemy and the scrolls and the water stain that looked like Ireland, and she pressed her scarred wrist against her chest and waited for her heartbeat to slow. It didn't.
created_at"2026-04-24T15:23:16.436Z" 4/24/2026, 3:23:16 PM
model"xiaomi/mimo-v2.5-pro-20260422"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency688
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time81670
tokens_prompt1034
tokens_completion4736
native_tokens_prompt952
native_tokens_completion4119
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning591
native_tokens_cached512
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.0128994
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"5c24ecc9-5ba1-4af0-8877-3402889e7d0a"
id"2a790d63203b4b2096ab718f63432a86"
is_byokfalse
latency600
model_permaslug"xiaomi/mimo-v2.5-pro-20260422"
provider_name"Xiaomi"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777044196-hpU0v01FcxN8VtES0UpH"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1777044196-DXrFwPFSA91Ld6gAaGUT"
upstream_id"2a790d63203b4b2096ab718f63432a86"
total_cost0.0128994
cache_discount0.0004096
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Xiaomi"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags11
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences82
tagDensity0.134
leniency0.268
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
92.54% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2680
totalAiIsmAdverbs4
found
0
adverb"really"
count1
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count1
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"really"
1"slightly"
2"very"
3"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
70.15% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2680
totalAiIsms16
found
0
word"vibrated"
count1
1
word"navigated"
count1
2
word"intensity"
count1
3
word"comfortable"
count1
4
word"measured"
count3
5
word"stomach"
count1
6
word"pulse"
count1
7
word"flickered"
count1
8
word"eyebrow"
count1
9
word"weight"
count1
10
word"facade"
count1
11
word"electric"
count1
12
word"practiced ease"
count1
13
word"footsteps"
count1
highlights
0"vibrated"
1"navigated"
2"intensity"
3"comfortable"
4"measured"
5"stomach"
6"pulse"
7"flickered"
8"eyebrow"
9"weight"
10"facade"
11"electric"
12"practiced ease"
13"footsteps"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"stomach dropped/sank"
count1
highlights
0"stomach dropped"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences176
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences176
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences245
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen57
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2705
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions29
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions73
wordCount2054
uniqueNames25
maxNameDensity0.68
worstName"Lucien"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Lucien"
discoveredNames
Eva10
Welsh-language1
South1
Wales1
Ordnance1
Survey1
John1
Dee1
Ireland2
Cardiff1
University1
English1
Moreau2
Oxfords1
Lucien14
Sauternes3
Covent1
Garden1
London1
Rory13
Barbican1
Ptolemy9
Whitechapel1
House1
Evan3
persons
0"Eva"
1"John"
2"Dee"
3"Moreau"
4"Lucien"
5"Rory"
6"Ptolemy"
7"Evan"
places
0"South"
1"Wales"
2"Ireland"
3"Cardiff"
4"Covent"
5"Garden"
6"London"
7"Whitechapel"
8"House"
globalScore1
windowScore0.667
7.14% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences105
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"looked like a medieval library had explod"
1"looked like a map of Ireland if she squin"
2"looked like he'd walked out of a photogra"
3"smelled like damp plaster and the ghost of"
4"looked like want and fear in equal measur"
5"looked like Ireland, and she pressed her"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2705
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences245
matches
0"did that thing"
1"force that Lucien's"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs123
mean21.99
std24.13
cv1.097
sampleLengths
058
127
22
380
437
58
64
75
825
95
105
114
1211
134
147
152
1626
176
1858
194
2014
2160
223
2344
246
2512
2628
2743
2898
2913
3032
313
321
3359
344
351
3627
3758
383
3960
401
412
4223
4364
441
4510
4668
4713
4810
494
97.29% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences176
matches
0"were flushed"
1"was slicked"
2"were was"
3"been folded"
98.99% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs330
matches
0"was breathing"
1"was circling"
2"was cataloguing"
3"were shaking"
4"was cooling"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount22
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences15
totalSentences245
ratio0.061
matches
0"Ptolemy had migrated to the radiator — specifically, onto Eva's forbidden scroll order — and looked comfortable about it."
1"The voice curled through the door like smoke — low, accented, unhurried."
2"His suit was charcoal — it was always charcoal — cut close through the shoulders and tapering to a clean break above polished Oxfords."
3"Lucien's heterochromatic gaze moved over her — the university shirt, the joggers, the damp hair, the bare feet on cold linoleum — and something in his expression shifted, tightened, like a hand closing around something fragile."
4"His gaze swept the room — the scrolls, the maps, the leaning shelves, the cat — and he raised an eyebrow."
5"Lucien studied them — one said WORLD'S BEST NAN, the other featured a faded cartoon cat — and his mouth did that thing again, the almost-smile that had undone her the first time and the fifth time and the fortieth."
6"He pushed the cat mug toward her and kept the nan mug for himself, and the absurdity of it — Lucien Moreau, half-demon, information broker, tailored suit and blade-cane and four languages, drinking Sauternes out of a mug that said WORLD'S BEST NAN — cracked something open in her chest that she'd spent six months sealing shut."
7"She hadn't seen him move in six months, and now she was cataloguing everything — the way he held himself, the way his cane never fully bore his weight, the way his black eye caught the light and swallowed it while the amber one burned."
8"He reached into his inside jacket pocket and produced a photograph — creased, as if it had been folded and unfolded many times."
9"A statement of fact, delivered in the same measured tone he used for everything — negotiations, threats, the time he'd told her the exact number of ways a person could die in the tunnels beneath the Barbican."
10"He stopped close enough that she could smell his cologne — something warm, amber, with an undertone of smoke that wasn't from the bottle."
11"Evan had—"
12"She looked at him over the rim of the cat mug and found his expression open in a way she hadn't seen before — the mask of the fixer, the half-demon who spoke four languages and made deals in candlelit rooms, stripped back to reveal something underneath that looked like want and fear in equal measure."
13"Not the sharp ache of anger or the dull ache of grief — something in between, a frequency she'd forgotten her body could tune to."
14"His fingers brushed hers on the counter's edge — a ghost of contact, electric, a current running from his skin to hers through the scar on her wrist — and then he was at the door, sliding the first two deadbolts back with practiced ease."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2051
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount64
adverbRatio0.031204290589956118
lyAdverbCount12
lyAdverbRatio0.005850804485616773
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences245
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences245
mean11.04
std11.07
cv1.003
sampleLengths
04
124
230
327
42
532
61
72
818
927
1017
1111
129
133
145
154
165
1725
185
195
202
212
2211
234
247
252
268
2715
283
296
3017
3119
3222
332
341
351
367
377
387
3919
4017
4117
423
4310
4412
457
4615
472
482
492
37.76% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats30
diversityRatio0.2897959183673469
totalSentences245
uniqueOpeners71
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount5
totalSentences139
matches
0"Then the second."
1"Too sweet, like he'd said."
2"Somewhere in London, maybe, or"
3"Just there, solid and present"
4"Somewhere in that building, someone"
ratio0.036
44.46% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount61
totalSentences139
matches
0"She kicked the door shut"
1"She dumped her jacket over"
2"She scratched behind his ears"
3"Her phone buzzed."
4"She didn't squint."
5"She'd changed into a threadbare"
6"She pressed her eye to"
7"Her stomach dropped."
8"She pulled back from the"
9"She'd forgotten how it sounded."
10"She hadn't forgotten anything."
11"She threw the first deadbolt."
12"His suit was charcoal —"
13"His hair, that impossible platinum,"
14"He looked like he'd walked"
15"She leaned against the door"
16"They stood there."
17"He pressed his lips together"
18"She wanted to close the"
19"She wanted to tell him"
ratio0.439
10.36% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount125
totalSentences139
matches
0"The third deadbolt stuck."
1"Rory jiggled the key, pressed"
2"She kicked the door shut"
3"Ptolemy wound between her ankles,"
4"She dumped her jacket over"
5"Eva had been chasing a"
6"Rory dropped onto the sofa,"
7"Ptolemy vaulted onto her lap"
8"She scratched behind his ears"
9"Her phone buzzed."
10"Eva's name on the screen."
11"Rory hung up and stared"
12"A water stain in the"
13"She didn't squint."
14"The knock came at half"
15"She'd changed into a threadbare"
16"Ptolemy had migrated to the"
17"Rory had been halfway through"
18"Eva didn't get visitors at"
19"Eva didn't really get visitors"
ratio0.899
71.94% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences139
matches
0"Even so, he nearly caught"
1"To the crescent-shaped scar on"
ratio0.014
51.02% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences70
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"Rory jiggled the key, pressed her shoulder into the wood, and felt the mechanism grind home with a clunk that vibrated through her collarbone."
1"Ptolemy wound between her ankles, meowing with the desperate conviction of a cat who hadn't eaten in days, despite the full bowl of kibble three feet away."
2"She dumped her jacket over a stack of Welsh-language manuscripts and navigated the narrow corridor between Eva's desk and the bookshelf that leaned at an angle …"
3"His hair, that impossible platinum, was slicked back from a face that belonged on a coin or a wanted poster, depending on your perspective."
4"Lucien entered the flat with the kind of care that suggested he'd spent time in cramped spaces and learned not to knock things over."
5"He pushed the cat mug toward her and kept the nan mug for himself, and the absurdity of it — Lucien Moreau, half-demon, information broker, tailored suit and bl…"
6"Ptolemy had settled on Lucien's shoes, which meant Lucien was now effectively pinned to the counter by a ten-pound tabby."
7"She looked at him over the rim of the cat mug and found his expression open in a way she hadn't seen before — the mask of the fixer, the half-demon who spoke fo…"
8"Ptolemy, sensing the shift in atmosphere, abandoned his post and stalked into the bedroom with his tail switching."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags11
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences82
tagDensity0.061
leniency0.122
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
81.6104%