NC Bench
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Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ03C5162ER33S4H50S5EMC0
Run Details
Model:
Xiaomi MIMO v2.5 Pro
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Horror: alone in an eerie place at night
Duration:
59.6s
Cost:
$0.012874
Provider:
Xiaomi
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
0.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
79.30%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
24.95%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
83.33%
Name drop frequency
(details)
65.25%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
40.69%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
100.00%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
80.79%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
84.27%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
98.21%
Technical jargon density
(details)
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
85.2263%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Horror genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
The standing stones weren't where
Rory remembered them.
She crouched between two of
the ancient oaks, fingers pressed against bark so rough it split her thumbnail.
The Heartstone pulsed against her
sternum, that persistent
warmth
she'd learned to ignore during daylight hours. Not tonight.
Tonight it burned like a
coal pressed through fabric, and the heat had pulled her from her flat above Silas' bar, through the midnight streets of Richmond, over the fence, and into the park's dark interior.
Richmond Park at night was
a different creature. During the day it was prams and dog walkers and cyclists in too-tight lycra. At two in the morning, it was something older.
The kind of place where
London remembered it had once been forest.
Rory pulled her phone from
her jacket pocket and checked the GPS. No signal. Not a
flicker
.
She'd had full bars five
minutes ago at the gate. The Heartstone
pulsed
harder.
She stood, brushing bark from
her palms, and studied the arrangement of oaks again. Six of them, positioned in a rough circle around a clearing she couldn't
quite see through the undergrowth
. During her previous visit, the trees had formed an obvious entrance, a gap wide enough to walk through without stooping.
Now they'd shifted, or her
memory had.
The gaps between them looked
too narrow, too dark, like the trees had leaned inward while she
wasn't looking
. "Don't be stupid," she whispered.
The words sounded thin in
the still air.
She pushed through the nearest
gap, branches catching her hair, scratching lines across her cheek that she'd find later as pink welts.
The undergrowth gave way to
the clearing, and Rory stepped into The Fae Grove for the second time. The wildflowers caught her first. They carpeted the entire clearing, impossible blooms that glowed faintly silver in the moonlight. They shouldn't exist. Not in England, not in October, not carpeting an entire clearing in Richmond Park where rangers patrolled daily.
She'd seen them before, during
her first visit with Eva, but they'd
seemed charming then
. Part of the wonder. Now they seemed watchful.
The clearing stretched perhaps thirty
metres across, bordered by the ring of ancient oaks.
Their canopies formed a ceiling
above, leaves so thick they blocked the sky. No moonlight should have reached the flowers below. Yet they glowed, each petal catching light from a source Rory couldn't identify. She checked the pendant again. The Heartstone's crimson surface
pulsed
with its own internal rhythm, faster now, like a second heartbeat beneath her jacket. The
warmth
spread through her ribs, uncomfortably hot.
She'd never felt it this
strong
before
. "Eva?"
Her voice cracked
. She cleared her throat. "Eva, are you here?" The text had arrived at half past midnight. An address. Three words: *The Grove. Now.* Sent from Eva's number. Eva, who'd been missing for six days. Eva, whose flatmate had reported her gone. Eva, who hadn't answered a single call or message since Tuesday. The police had been useless. "Adults are allowed to go on holiday without telling their flatmates," the duty officer had said, with the particular boredom of someone who'd
given that speech
a hundred times. Rory moved further into the clearing, her trainers sinking into soil that felt too soft, too warm. The flowers bent away from her feet as if offended. She stopped. The flowers had moved. Not from the pressure of her steps.
They'd shifted *before* she'd placed
her foot down, pulling back from where she was about to tread. Like they'd anticipated her. She took another step. The flowers retreated again, a ripple of silver that spread outward from her
footfall
and kept going, travelling across the clearing in a wave she could track with her eyes. They bent, swayed, then stilled. Watching. "Right." Rory pulled her jacket tighter. The October
chill
had abandoned the grove. The air here hung thick and warm, scented with something she couldn't name. Not the wildflower sweetness she'd expected. Something older. The smell of deep earth and copper and the air
before
a storm.
She reached for her phone
again, an automatic gesture. Still no signal. The screen's harsh blue light made her blink, and when she looked up, the clearing had changed. Not dramatically. Nothing so obvious as that. But the ring of oaks
seemed closer than they had a moment ago, the gaps between them narrower
. The canopy overhead had thickened, and where pinpricks of starlight had filtered through
before
, now there was only darkness. The wildflowers' silver glow provided the only illumination, casting Rory's shadow long and thin across the ground.
She could feel her heartbeat
in her throat. Something moved at the edge of her vision. Rory turned
sharply
,
scanning
the treeline. Nothing.
Just oaks and shadow and
the suggestion of movement that could have been wind through branches, except there was no wind. The air sat
perfectly
still. No rustling. No swaying. Just that thick, waiting
silence
. "Eva, this isn't funny." Her voice didn't
echo
.
It should have echoed, surrounded
by trees on all sides.
Instead the sound left her
mouth and dropped dead, absorbed by the clearing like water into sand. The Heartstone flared. Rory gasped, clutching her chest. The pendant had gone from warm to
searing
, a spike of heat that burned through her shirt and pressed against her skin like a brand.
She yanked the collar of
her jacket aside, pulled the silver chain loose, and held the gemstone away from her body. It hung there, suspended, its crimson surface blazing with inner light she'd never seen
before
. The glow painted her fingers red.
Then it dimmed, settling back
to its usual soft
pulse
. The burning faded. Rory's hand
trembled
as she lowered it, letting the pendant rest against her sternum again. It had never done that. In the clearing's centre, something had changed. A shape that hadn't been there
before
. Low to the ground, perhaps a metre tall, positioned exactly in the centre of the wildflowers. Rory squinted, trying to make it out in the silver light. It looked like a stone. Grey and rough, like the standing stones that marked the grove's entrance, but smaller. Much smaller. Child-sized. She hadn't seen it on her first visit. She was certain of that. She and Eva had stood in the centre of the clearing for twenty minutes, marvelling at the impossible flowers, and there had been nothing there but grass and blooms. Rory approached it
slowly
, each step deliberate, watching for any further movement in the treeline. Nothing. The clearing held its breath. The stone sat in a bare patch of earth where no flowers grew, a circle of exposed soil perhaps two metres across. The stone itself was unremarkable at first glance. Grey granite, roughly carved, about the height of a small child's
grave
marker. But as Rory drew closer, she saw the surface wasn't rough. It
was covered
in patterns. Spirals and knots and angular marks that meant nothing she could read, but which her eyes followed involuntarily,
tracing
their paths until her vision blurred. She blinked hard and looked away. At the base of the stone, something had
been laid
. A bundle of fabric, tied with twine, roughly the size of a loaf of bread. Rory's
stomach
dropped. She
knew that fabric
. The blue floral print of Eva's favourite scarf. The one she wore every day, rain or shine, wrapped around her neck like armour. Rory had teased her about it a hundred times. *
You'll get buried in that thing
*, she'd said once, and Eva had laughed and said, *
That's the plan
*. Rory's hands shook as she reached for the bundle. Her fingers hesitated above it, an inch away. The Heartstone
pulsed
again,
gently
this time, a steady rhythm that matched her own heartbeat. Encouraging. Or warning. She couldn't tell. She picked it up. The fabric was warm. Not body-warm, but warm like sun-heated stone, like it had been sitting in direct light for hours. Impossible, given the thick canopy above. Rory turned it over, searching for the knot. The twine was tight, wound in
complex
loops she didn't recognise. Not a normal knot. Something with intention behind it. She worked at it with her thumbnail, the same one she'd split on the oak bark. Pain shot through her finger. She ignored it. The twine loosened, loop by loop, until the bundle fell open in her hands. Hair. A thick clump of black hair, Eva's exact shade, wound around something small and hard. Rory unwound it
carefully
, strand by strand, and found a tooth. A human molar, brown with age, with a silver filling that caught the flowerlight. Not Eva's tooth. This was old, decades old. Someone else's relic, wrapped in Eva's scarf, left at the base of a carved stone in a grove that shouldn't exist. Behind her, a branch cracked. Rory spun, the scarf and tooth clutched against her chest. The treeline stared back, silent and dark and watching. She
scanned
the gaps between the oaks, looking for a shape, a face, anything to explain the sound. Nothing.
Just trees and shadow and
that thick, waiting
silence
that pressed against her eardrums like cotton wool.
Then, from somewhere deep within
the grove's boundary, a sound. Low and
rhythmic
, like breathing, but too slow to be human. Each inhale stretched for five seconds. Each exhale for five more. A patient, deliberate
rhythm that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once
. Rory backed away from the stone, still holding the scarf. Her heel caught on something and she stumbled, nearly falling. She looked down. The wildflowers had closed. Every bloom in the clearing had shut its petals tight, folding in on themselves like tiny fists. Where silver light had spilled across the ground moments ago, now there was only darkness. The only illumination came from the Heartstone, its crimson glow painting a small circle of red around her feet. The breathing grew louder. Not louder, she realised. Closer. Rory turned in a slow circle, trying to pinpoint the source. The sound
seemed to
come from the trees themselves, as if the oaks had lungs buried in their ancient trunks, drawing breath through bark and root. The rhythm hadn't changed. Five seconds in. Five seconds out. Patient. Calculated. Something touched her shoulder. Rory screamed, spinning around, her arm swinging wildly. Her fist connected with empty air. She staggered backward, nearly tripping over the closed flowers, and collided with the stone at the clearing's centre. Pain flared up her spine. She grabbed the stone's edge for balance and felt the carved patterns press into her palm. The breathing stopped. Silence returned, heavier than
before
. Rory held her own breath, listening.
The Heartstone pulsed against her
chest, faster now, urgent. She
could feel
its heat through her jacket, through her shirt, burning against her skin like a warning she couldn't read. In the darkness between two of the largest oaks, something stood. Not a person. The shape was wrong, too thin, too tall, with limbs that bent at angles human bodies didn't use. It stood
perfectly
still, half-hidden behind the nearest trunk, its outline visible only because it was somehow darker than the shadows around it. A hole in the darkness. An absence that had
weight
. Rory's mouth went dry. The shape tilted its head. Slowly. Deliberately. Like it
was studying
her. Like it had been watching for a long time and had finally decided to let her
know
. The Heartstone blazed against her chest, so hot she cried out, and in its crimson light, she saw the shape take a step forward.
created_at
"2026-04-24T15:57:42.837Z"
4/24/2026, 3:57:42 PM
model
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native_tokens_reasoning
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"req-1777046262-XOKvxnggVzHlcPJFkImh"
session_id
(null)
api_type
"completions"
id
"gen-1777046262-n6YQbmsQynQO5vvra9vs"
upstream_id
"9e597727907a477fbb1cb25d0a52a1b3"
total_cost
0.012874
cache_discount
(null)
upstream_inference_cost
0
provider_name
"Xiaomi"
response_cache_source_id
(null)
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
0.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
5
adverbTagCount
1
adverbTags
0
"Tonight it burned like [like]"
dialogueSentences
6
tagDensity
0.833
leniency
1
rawRatio
0.2
effectiveRatio
0.2
79.30%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
1932
totalAiIsmAdverbs
8
found
0
adverb
"sharply"
count
1
1
adverb
"perfectly"
count
2
2
adverb
"slowly"
count
2
3
adverb
"gently"
count
1
4
adverb
"carefully"
count
1
5
adverb
"deliberately"
count
1
highlights
0
"sharply"
1
"perfectly"
2
"slowly"
3
"gently"
4
"carefully"
5
"deliberately"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
24.95%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
1932
totalAiIsms
29
found
0
word
"pulsed"
count
5
1
word
"warmth"
count
2
2
word
"flicker"
count
1
3
word
"footfall"
count
1
4
word
"chill"
count
1
5
word
"could feel"
count
2
6
word
"scanning"
count
1
7
word
"silence"
count
3
8
word
"echo"
count
1
9
word
"echoed"
count
1
10
word
"searing"
count
1
11
word
"pulse"
count
1
12
word
"trembled"
count
1
13
word
"grave"
count
1
14
word
"tracing"
count
1
15
word
"stomach"
count
1
16
word
"complex"
count
1
17
word
"scanned"
count
1
18
word
"rhythmic"
count
1
19
word
"calculated"
count
1
20
word
"weight"
count
1
highlights
0
"pulsed"
1
"warmth"
2
"flicker"
3
"footfall"
4
"chill"
5
"could feel"
6
"scanning"
7
"silence"
8
"echo"
9
"echoed"
10
"searing"
11
"pulse"
12
"trembled"
13
"grave"
14
"tracing"
15
"stomach"
16
"complex"
17
"scanned"
18
"rhythmic"
19
"calculated"
20
"weight"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"stomach dropped/sank"
count
1
highlights
0
"stomach dropped"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
202
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
1
hedgeCount
2
narrationSentences
202
filterMatches
0
"know"
hedgeMatches
0
"seemed to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
204
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
repeatedSegmentCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
36
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
4
markdownWords
13
totalWords
1932
ratio
0.007
matches
0
"The Grove. Now."
1
"before"
2
"You'll get buried in that thing"
3
"That's the plan"
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
7
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
83.33%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
58
wordCount
1875
uniqueNames
13
maxNameDensity
1.23
worstName
"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity
2.5
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory
23
Heartstone
8
Richmond
2
Park
2
London
1
Fae
1
Grove
2
England
1
October
2
Eva
11
Sent
1
Tuesday
1
Like
3
persons
0
"Rory"
1
"Heartstone"
2
"Eva"
3
"Like"
places
0
"Richmond"
1
"Park"
2
"London"
3
"Fae"
4
"Grove"
5
"England"
globalScore
0.887
windowScore
0.833
65.25%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
118
glossingSentenceCount
4
matches
0
"quite see through the undergrowth"
1
"seemed charming then"
2
"seemed closer than they had a moment ago, the gaps between them narrower"
3
"rhythm that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
1
per1kWords
0.518
wordCount
1932
matches
0
"Not body-warm, but warm like sun-heated stone, like it had been sitting in dire"
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
2
totalSentences
204
matches
0
"given that speech"
1
"knew that fabric"
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
64
mean
30.19
std
21.56
cv
0.714
sampleLengths
0
8
1
72
2
43
3
27
4
4
5
78
6
13
7
40
8
59
9
4
10
48
11
39
12
12
13
44
14
34
15
29
16
4
17
28
18
39
19
1
20
47
21
29
22
61
23
8
24
8
25
42
26
4
27
31
28
3
29
72
30
33
31
7
32
56
33
42
34
21
35
84
36
6
37
28
38
54
39
17
40
21
41
4
42
55
43
38
44
41
45
29
46
5
47
37
48
18
49
46
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
3
totalSentences
202
matches
0
"was covered"
1
"been laid"
2
"get buried"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
2
totalVerbs
299
matches
0
"wasn't looking"
1
"was studying"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
204
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
77
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
3
adverbRatio
0.03896103896103896
lyAdverbCount
0
lyAdverbRatio
0
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
204
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
204
mean
9.47
std
6.86
cv
0.724
sampleLengths
0
8
1
18
2
16
3
2
4
36
5
8
6
14
7
9
8
12
9
12
10
2
11
3
12
10
13
4
14
14
15
18
16
20
17
7
18
19
19
5
20
8
21
22
22
18
23
5
24
14
25
3
26
18
27
15
28
4
29
4
30
14
31
13
32
8
33
13
34
5
35
19
36
8
37
7
38
4
39
4
40
4
41
8
42
2
43
4
44
5
45
7
46
7
47
11
48
5
49
29
40.69%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
19
diversityRatio
0.28431372549019607
totalSentences
204
uniqueOpeners
58
100.00%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
6
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"Just oaks and shadow and"
1
"Just that thick, waiting silence."
2
"Instead the sound left her"
3
"Then it dimmed, settling back"
4
"Just trees and shadow and"
5
"Then, from somewhere deep within"
ratio
0.034
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
43
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"She crouched between two of"
1
"She'd had full bars five"
2
"She stood, brushing bark from"
3
"She pushed through the nearest"
4
"They carpeted the entire clearing,"
5
"They shouldn't exist."
6
"She'd seen them before, during"
7
"Their canopies formed a ceiling"
8
"She checked the pendant again."
9
"She'd never felt it this"
10
"Her voice cracked"
11
"She cleared her throat."
12
"They'd shifted *before* she'd placed"
13
"She took another step."
14
"They bent, swayed, then stilled."
15
"She reached for her phone"
16
"She could feel her heartbeat"
17
"Her voice didn't echo."
18
"It should have echoed, surrounded"
19
"She yanked the collar of"
ratio
0.242
80.79%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
135
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"The standing stones weren't where"
1
"She crouched between two of"
2
"The Heartstone pulsed against her"
3
"Tonight it burned like a"
4
"Richmond Park at night was"
5
"The kind of place where"
6
"Rory pulled her phone from"
7
"She'd had full bars five"
8
"The Heartstone pulsed harder."
9
"She stood, brushing bark from"
10
"The gaps between them looked"
11
"The words sounded thin in"
12
"She pushed through the nearest"
13
"The undergrowth gave way to"
14
"The wildflowers caught her first."
15
"They carpeted the entire clearing,"
16
"They shouldn't exist."
17
"She'd seen them before, during"
18
"Part of the wonder."
19
"The clearing stretched perhaps thirty"
ratio
0.758
84.27%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
3
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"Now they'd shifted, or her"
1
"Now they seemed watchful."
2
"Now.* Sent from Eva's number."
ratio
0.017
98.21%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
80
technicalSentenceCount
5
matches
0
"She pushed through the nearest gap, branches catching her hair, scratching lines across her cheek that she'd find later as pink welts."
1
"They carpeted the entire clearing, impossible blooms that glowed faintly silver in the moonlight."
2
"The Heartstone pulsed again, gently this time, a steady rhythm that matched her own heartbeat."
3
"A patient, deliberate rhythm that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once."
4
"The sound seemed to come from the trees themselves, as if the oaks had lungs buried in their ancient trunks, drawing breath through bark and root."
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
5
uselessAdditionCount
0
matches
(empty)
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
3
fancyCount
3
fancyTags
0
"Tonight it burned like (burn)"
1
"she whispered (whisper)"
2
"the duty officer had (have)"
dialogueSentences
6
tagDensity
0.5
leniency
1
rawRatio
1
effectiveRatio
1
85.2263%