Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ03PQ4BTQXJRCWJXAMQ118J

Run Details

Duration:
58.1s
Cost:
$0.015385
Provider:
AtlasCloud

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain hammered the pavement in sheets, turning Soho's narrow streets into rivers of reflected neon. Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her shoulder against the cold brick corner of Frith Street, controlling her breathing the way she'd been trained—four counts in, four counts hold, four counts out. Her fingers found the worn leather band of her watch on her left wrist, an old habit she'd never broken. 11:47 PM. Six minutes since she'd spotted him. Tomás Herrera moved through the crowd outside the Phoenix like water through gravel—fluid, unhurried, drawing no attention. But Quinn had been watching the Raven's Nest for three nights now, and she'd learned his patterns. The way he always entered through the back alley. The way his hand drifted to his left forearm when he was nervous, fingers tracing the line of that scar beneath his jacket sleeve. The way he never stayed longer than forty minutes. Tonight was different. Tonight he was carrying something. She'd caught it in the green glow of the Nest's distinctive neon sign—a package wrapped in brown paper, roughly the size of a medical textbook, tucked under his arm as he'd slipped out the back entrance. Not large enough to be suspicious on its own, but enough to break his pattern. Herrera was a creature of habit, and habits were vulnerabilities. Quinn knew that better than anyone. She waited until he turned the corner onto Dean Street before she moved. Eighteen years on the force had taught her how to follow someone without following them. You didn't shadow; you paralleled. You stayed one street over, one block ahead, reading the trajectory rather than tracking the back. Her shoes—practical black oxfords with rubber soles she'd specifically requested against regulations—barely made a sound against the wet pavement. Herrera walked with purpose but not urgency. He hadn't made her. Not yet. The rain intensified as they crossed into the edges of Camden, the sleek cocktail bars of Soho giving way to chip shops and closing-down pubs. Herrera's path was deliberate. He wasn't wandering. He knew exactly where he was going, and that troubled Quinn more than anything else. In her experience, people who knew exactly where they were going at midnight in the rain were either coming home or heading somewhere they shouldn't. She almost lost him at Camden High Street. A bus pulled away from the stop in a hiss of brakes and diesel, and for three heart-stopping seconds, Herrera vanished behind its red flank. Quinn broke protocol, quickening her pace to the corner, her hand moving instinctively to the baton on her belt— There. Crossing the road toward the abandoned Tube station. Quinn slowed. The station had been closed for years, one of those phantom stops that existed only on old maps and in local legend. Boarded-up entrances. Chained gates. The kind of place that should have been impossible to enter. Herrera didn't even hesitate. He approached a service door set into the crumbling brickwork, produced something from his pocket—small, pale, turning briefly in the streetlight—and pressed it against a panel Quinn couldn't see. The door opened. Not forced. Not picked. Opened, as if it had been expecting him. Then he was gone, swallowed by the dark beyond the threshold. Quinn counted to ten. Then twenty. The rain kept falling. A distant siren wailed and faded. Somewhere above, a plane carved its way through the clouds toward Heathrow, its lights briefly visible through the gap between buildings. She approached the door. Up close, she could see that the frame was rusted but the hinges were new. Oil glistened on the metal, fresh enough that the rain hadn't yet washed it away. Whatever this entrance was, it was maintained. Used regularly. The kind of secret that required infrastructure. Quinn's hand rested on the door handle. Cold metal against wet palm. Morris would have told her to call it in. Get backup. Do things properly. But Morris was three years dead, and the case that killed him remained unsolved—officially classified as an accident, a fall in a derelict building that shouldn't have been fatal but was, because the coroner's report contained details that didn't make sense, because three witnesses had recanted their statements within forty-eight hours, because something had happened in that building that left Morris's service weapon unfired and his face frozen in an expression of recognition rather than fear. Quinn had stopped believing in accidents the day they buried him. She pushed the door open. The stairs descended into the earth, lit by intermittent bulbs that cast more shadows than light. The walls were tiled—vintage London Underground, cream and dark green, cracked with age but still recognizable. The air changed as she went deeper, carrying the smell of damp concrete and something else. Something that reminded her of the incense shop her grandmother had taken her to as a child, off Portobello Road. Amber and myrrh and other things she couldn't name. She counted the steps. Thirty-seven. A platform opened below, and Quinn pressed herself into an alcove as she took in the scene. The Veil Market. That was what the informant had called it, the junkie she'd picked up on possession charges last month. He'd laughed when she'd pressed him for details, told her she didn't have the right currency, that some doors only opened if you were carrying bone. She'd written it up as drug-induced rambling, filed it, moved on. Now she stood at the top of those stairs and understood that every word had been true. The abandoned platform stretched before her, transformed into something that belonged in a fever dream. Stalls lined both sides, draped in fabrics that seemed to shift color as she looked at them. Candles burned without flickering, their flames straight and pale in the still air. Vendors called out in languages Quinn didn't recognize, their wares spread across tables—bottles of liquid that moved on its own, jewelry that caught light from no visible source, bundles of dried herbs that whispered against each other though there was no breeze. People moved through the market in clusters. Some wore the rain-soaked coats of Londoners caught in the weather, but others were dressed in styles decades or centuries out of date. Quinn saw a woman in a 1940s suit, a man in what looked like Regency formalwear, and at least three figures whose faces she could not seem to focus on no matter how hard she tried, their features sliding away from her attention like water off glass. And there, thirty meters ahead, Tomás Herrera was bargaining with a vendor at a stall draped in midnight-blue silk. Quinn's fingers found her watch again. The leather was damp now, rain-soaked and warmer than it should have been against her skin. She could feel her pulse in her wrist, rapid but controlled, the same steadiness that had carried her through rooms full of hostile suspects and crime scenes that would have broken lesser investigators. She could follow protocol. Retreat, document, report. Build a case the proper way, with warrants and evidence and the weight of the Met behind her. Or she could descend those last few steps and step into a world she wasn't sure she was prepared to understand. Herrera was already reaching into his jacket, pulling out the brown-paper package. The vendor—someone whose form seemed to shimmer at the edges, as though they existed in two states at once—accepted it with hands that had too many fingers. Quinn counted six on the left hand before she made herself stop counting. An exchange. Whatever Herrera had brought from the Raven's Nest was being traded for something the vendor was now retrieving from beneath the table—a glass vial filled with something that caught the candlelight and bent it, refracted it, made the air around it seem thicker. Quinn thought of Morris. Of the questions that had no answers. Of the darkness she'd been circling for three years, always at arm's length, never close enough to touch. She stepped off the bottom stair and into the market. No one looked at her. Or rather, people looked, but their gazes passed over her the way they might pass over any stranger in any London market—quick, assessing, indifferent. She was odd in her plainclothes detective's attire, perhaps, but not remarkable. Not memorable. She moved through the crowd and felt, absurdly, that the market itself was allowing her passage. Herrera was fifteen meters away now. Twelve. She could see the Saint Christopher medallion around his neck, catching the candlelight. The patron saint of travelers. Fitting, somehow, for a man who walked between worlds. Quinn made her decision. She closed the distance quickly, her hand finding Herrera's shoulder, spinning him around with the precise force of someone who'd done it a thousand times on a thousand dark streets. "Tomás Herrera." Her voice came out steady, carrying authority even here, even now. "I'd like a word." His warm brown eyes went wide. For a split second, she saw pure panic cross his face before he schooled it into something more measured. His hand moved instinctively to his left forearm, fingers tracing the scar beneath his sleeve. "You shouldn't be here." His accent was faint, that Andalusian softness still present after years in London. His voice was low, urgent. "Detective, you cannot be here." "Then tell me where I should be." Quinn didn't release his shoulder. "Tell me what this place is. Tell me what you're carrying, what you're trading, and who you're treating with whatever's in that vial." Herrera's gaze flicked past her, scanning the market. Looking for someone. Or watching for something. "You don't have a token," he said quietly. "That means the Market hasn't invited you. It's letting you in, but that's not the same thing. You understand? Letting and inviting are different doors, Detective, and one of them closes behind you." Quinn held his stare. Her sharp jaw set, her brown eyes unyielding. "I'm not afraid of doors closing." "Then you're not paying attention." Herrera reached slowly into his jacket, and Quinn's hand moved to her baton, but he only produced the brown-paper package—or what remained of it, empty now, crumpled. "The people I help—they're not criminals. They're not what you think they are. They're just trying to survive." "And what are you? Their savior? Their supplier?" "I'm a paramedic." His voice hardened. "Or I was, before the NHS decided that some patients didn't deserve treatment. I do what doctors won't. What hospitals can't." Quinn thought of the case files she'd reviewed. The unexplained injuries. The patients who signed themselves out of A&E against medical advice, or who never arrived at all. The gaps in the records, the testimonies that didn't add up. "The vial," she said. "What is it?" Herrera looked at her for a long moment. Around them, the market continued its strange commerce, vendors calling out in those impossible languages, candles burning without flickering. "It's medicine," he said finally. "The kind that works on people like me. People like you, if you ever got hurt badly enough." He paused. "People like your partner." The words hit her like a fist to the sternum. Quinn's grip on his shoulder tightened reflexively. "What do you know about DS Morris?" "I know he died in a place like this." Herrera's voice was barely a whisper now. "I know whatever happened to him wasn't something the Met is equipped to investigate. And I know that if you keep pushing, keep following these threads without understanding what you're pulling on, you'll end up in the same room where he—" He stopped. Swallowed. "The Market doesn't protect the uninvited, Detective. It just tolerates them. Until it doesn't." Quinn released his shoulder. Her hand found her watch, the worn leather smooth and familiar beneath her fingers. The face showed 12:03 AM. A new day. "Then invite me," she said. Herrera stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. Maybe she had. But three years of dead ends and redacted files and questions that led only to more questions had burned something out of her, and what remained was a kind of furious clarity that wouldn't allow her to turn back. "You don't know what you're asking." "I know I've been standing in the dark for three years, and you're the first person who's offered to turn on a light." Quinn's voice was iron and rain and something older than both. "So invite me, Herrera. Or I'll find my own way in." The market hummed around them, alive with commerce and candlelight and things that had no names in any language she spoke. Somewhere deeper in the abandoned station, something that might have been music played, distant and strange. Tomás Herrera closed his eyes. When he opened them again, something had shifted in his expression—a resignation, or perhaps a recognition. "If I do this," he said slowly, "there's no going back to the world you knew. You understand that? The door you came through—it only opens in one direction for people like you." Quinn thought of Morris. Of the expression on his face in the coroner's photograph—not fear, but recognition. As if he'd seen something at the end that he finally understood. "Then we walk forward." Herrera reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, pale object. A bone token, carved with symbols that seemed to move when she looked at them directly. He pressed it into her palm, and the surface was warm, almost alive, humming against her skin like something with a heartbeat. "Welcome to the Market, Detective Quinn." His voice was quiet, heavy with consequence. "May you find what you're looking for." He turned and walked deeper into the stalls, and after a moment, Harlow Quinn followed him into the dark.
created_at"2026-04-24T16:03:29.044Z" 4/24/2026, 4:03:29 PM
model"z-ai/glm-5.1-20260406"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1712
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time58059
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion3956
native_tokens_prompt812
native_tokens_completion3240
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning312
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.01538468
router(null)
provider_responses
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endpoint_id"7e919c5e-6c06-4182-adaf-2910d5d4b5a8"
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is_byokfalse
latency1712
model_permaslug"z-ai/glm-5.1-20260406"
provider_name"AtlasCloud"
status200
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags11
adverbTagCount4
adverbTags
0"he said quietly [quietly]"
1"Herrera reached slowly [slowly]"
2"he said finally [finally]"
3"he said slowly [slowly]"
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.355
leniency0.71
rawRatio0.364
effectiveRatio0.258
93.49% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2305
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count2
highlights
0"quickly"
1"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
71.80% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2305
totalAiIsms13
found
0
word"tracing"
count2
1
word"silk"
count1
2
word"could feel"
count1
3
word"pulse"
count1
4
word"weight"
count1
5
word"remarkable"
count1
6
word"measured"
count1
7
word"flicked"
count1
8
word"scanning"
count1
9
word"whisper"
count1
10
word"familiar"
count1
11
word"almost alive"
count1
highlights
0"tracing"
1"silk"
2"could feel"
3"pulse"
4"weight"
5"remarkable"
6"measured"
7"flicked"
8"scanning"
9"whisper"
10"familiar"
11"almost alive"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences165
matches
0"was nervous"
82.25% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount3
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences165
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"seem to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences181
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen78
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2286
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions87
wordCount1952
uniqueNames29
maxNameDensity1.33
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Harlow2
Quinn26
Frith1
Street3
Herrera18
Phoenix1
Raven2
Nest3
Dean1
Camden2
High1
Tube1
Heathrow1
Morris5
London3
Underground1
Portobello1
Road1
Veil1
Market1
Londoners1
Regency1
Tomás3
Met1
Saint1
Christopher1
Andalusian1
Swallowed1
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Herrera"
3"Raven"
4"Nest"
5"Morris"
6"Londoners"
7"Tomás"
8"Saint"
9"Christopher"
places
0"Soho"
1"Frith"
2"Street"
3"Phoenix"
4"Dean"
5"Camden"
6"High"
7"Heathrow"
8"London"
9"Portobello"
10"Road"
globalScore0.834
windowScore0.667
79.91% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences107
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"fabrics that seemed to shift color as she looked at them"
1"looked like Regency formalwear, and at le"
2"symbols that seemed to move when she looked at them directly"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.875
wordCount2286
matches
0"Not large enough to be suspicious on its own, but enough to break his pattern"
1"not fear, but recognition"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences181
matches
0"see that the"
1"understood that every"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs69
mean33.13
std23.53
cv0.71
sampleLengths
073
176
28
367
413
555
613
772
852
99
1039
1148
1211
136
1431
154
1646
1712
1890
1911
205
2177
2222
233
2472
2587
2677
2719
2855
2925
3021
3152
3245
3329
3410
3559
3634
374
3830
3917
4040
4127
4235
4315
4441
4518
4650
478
4827
4939
86.12% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount9
totalSentences165
matches
0"been trained"
1"been closed"
2"was gone"
3"was rusted"
4"was maintained"
5"were tiled"
6"were dressed"
7"was prepared"
8"being traded"
41.74% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs337
matches
0"was carrying"
1"wasn't wandering"
2"was going"
3"were going"
4"were carrying"
5"was bargaining"
6"was already reaching"
7"was allowing"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount18
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences16
totalSentences181
ratio0.088
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her shoulder against the cold brick corner of Frith Street, controlling her breathing the way she'd been trained—four counts in, four counts hold, four counts out."
1"Tomás Herrera moved through the crowd outside the Phoenix like water through gravel—fluid, unhurried, drawing no attention."
2"She'd caught it in the green glow of the Nest's distinctive neon sign—a package wrapped in brown paper, roughly the size of a medical textbook, tucked under his arm as he'd slipped out the back entrance."
3"You didn't shadow; you paralleled."
4"Her shoes—practical black oxfords with rubber soles she'd specifically requested against regulations—barely made a sound against the wet pavement."
5"Quinn broke protocol, quickening her pace to the corner, her hand moving instinctively to the baton on her belt—"
6"He approached a service door set into the crumbling brickwork, produced something from his pocket—small, pale, turning briefly in the streetlight—and pressed it against a panel Quinn couldn't see."
7"But Morris was three years dead, and the case that killed him remained unsolved—officially classified as an accident, a fall in a derelict building that shouldn't have been fatal but was, because the coroner's report contained details that didn't make sense, because three witnesses had recanted their statements within forty-eight hours, because something had happened in that building that left Morris's service weapon unfired and his face frozen in an expression of recognition rather than fear."
8"The walls were tiled—vintage London Underground, cream and dark green, cracked with age but still recognizable."
9"Vendors called out in languages Quinn didn't recognize, their wares spread across tables—bottles of liquid that moved on its own, jewelry that caught light from no visible source, bundles of dried herbs that whispered against each other though there was no breeze."
10"The vendor—someone whose form seemed to shimmer at the edges, as though they existed in two states at once—accepted it with hands that had too many fingers."
11"Whatever Herrera had brought from the Raven's Nest was being traded for something the vendor was now retrieving from beneath the table—a glass vial filled with something that caught the candlelight and bent it, refracted it, made the air around it seem thicker."
12"Or rather, people looked, but their gazes passed over her the way they might pass over any stranger in any London market—quick, assessing, indifferent."
13"\"Then you're not paying attention.\" Herrera reached slowly into his jacket, and Quinn's hand moved to her baton, but he only produced the brown-paper package—or what remained of it, empty now, crumpled."
14"When he opened them again, something had shifted in his expression—a resignation, or perhaps a recognition."
15"Of the expression on his face in the coroner's photograph—not fear, but recognition."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1980
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount68
adverbRatio0.03434343434343434
lyAdverbCount26
lyAdverbRatio0.013131313131313131
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences181
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences181
mean12.63
std10.68
cv0.845
sampleLengths
015
130
220
32
46
517
617
79
824
99
103
115
1236
1315
1410
156
1613
1715
185
1916
2019
217
224
232
2425
254
263
2715
2825
298
3025
3119
321
338
342
3522
362
372
3811
394
4029
413
422
432
448
4511
464
472
484
496
54.88% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats14
diversityRatio0.3756906077348066
totalSentences181
uniqueOpeners68
91.95% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences145
matches
0"Then he was gone, swallowed"
1"Somewhere above, a plane carved"
2"Maybe she had."
3"Somewhere deeper in the abandoned"
ratio0.028
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount37
totalSentences145
matches
0"Her fingers found the worn"
1"She'd caught it in the"
2"She waited until he turned"
3"You didn't shadow; you paralleled."
4"You stayed one street over,"
5"Her shoes—practical black oxfords with"
6"He hadn't made her."
7"He wasn't wandering."
8"He knew exactly where he"
9"She almost lost him at"
10"He approached a service door"
11"She approached the door."
12"She pushed the door open."
13"She counted the steps."
14"He'd laughed when she'd pressed"
15"She'd written it up as"
16"She could feel her pulse"
17"She could follow protocol."
18"She stepped off the bottom"
19"She was odd in her"
ratio0.255
77.24% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount111
totalSentences145
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her"
1"Her fingers found the worn"
2"Tomás Herrera moved through the"
3"The way he always entered"
4"The way his hand drifted"
5"The way he never stayed"
6"Tonight was different."
7"Tonight he was carrying something."
8"She'd caught it in the"
9"Herrera was a creature of"
10"Quinn knew that better than"
11"She waited until he turned"
12"You didn't shadow; you paralleled."
13"You stayed one street over,"
14"Her shoes—practical black oxfords with"
15"Herrera walked with purpose but"
16"He hadn't made her."
17"The rain intensified as they"
18"Herrera's path was deliberate."
19"He wasn't wandering."
ratio0.766
68.97% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences145
matches
0"Now she stood at the"
1"As if he'd seen something"
ratio0.014
11.28% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences76
technicalSentenceCount14
matches
0"In her experience, people who knew exactly where they were going at midnight in the rain were either coming home or heading somewhere they shouldn't."
1"Quinn broke protocol, quickening her pace to the corner, her hand moving instinctively to the baton on her belt—"
2"But Morris was three years dead, and the case that killed him remained unsolved—officially classified as an accident, a fall in a derelict building that shouldn…"
3"Something that reminded her of the incense shop her grandmother had taken her to as a child, off Portobello Road."
4"The abandoned platform stretched before her, transformed into something that belonged in a fever dream."
5"Vendors called out in languages Quinn didn't recognize, their wares spread across tables—bottles of liquid that moved on its own, jewelry that caught light from…"
6"She could feel her pulse in her wrist, rapid but controlled, the same steadiness that had carried her through rooms full of hostile suspects and crime scenes th…"
7"Herrera was already reaching into his jacket, pulling out the brown-paper package."
8"Whatever Herrera had brought from the Raven's Nest was being traded for something the vendor was now retrieving from beneath the table—a glass vial filled with …"
9"She closed the distance quickly, her hand finding Herrera's shoulder, spinning him around with the precise force of someone who'd done it a thousand times on a …"
10"The patients who signed themselves out of A&E against medical advice, or who never arrived at all."
11"Herrera stared at her as if she'd lost her mind."
12"But three years of dead ends and redacted files and questions that led only to more questions had burned something out of her, and what remained was a kind of f…"
13"Somewhere deeper in the abandoned station, something that might have been music played, distant and strange."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags11
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.161
leniency0.323
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
80.8767%