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Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0MTFW5W92RBVDNREKJ848N
Run Details
Model:
GPT-5.5
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Literary fiction: old friends reunite
Duration:
1m 35s
Cost:
$0.129945
Provider:
OpenAI
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
96.40%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
76.62%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
16.67%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
42.71%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
74.91%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
35.84%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
28.09%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Technical jargon density
(details)
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
88.8412%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Literary Fiction genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
“Don’t turn around unless you want the past to see your face.”
Aurora Carter froze with a
crate of empty glasses hooked against her hip and a wet rag clenched in her left hand.
The voice came from the
end of the bar, low and sure, wrapped in smoke that no one could legally have smoked indoors for years.
The Raven’s Nest had begun
to thin after the theatre crowd drifted out.
The green neon sign above
the door bled its colour through the front windows and painted the polished wood in sickly strips. Old maps sagged in their frames along the walls, and black-and-white photographs watched the room with the flat patience of the dead. Beneath the smell of gin, lemon peel, stale hops and floor cleaner, the bar kept another scent, dust baked into paper, old secrets, damp wool.
Aurora set the crate down
harder than she meant to. Glass chimed against glass.
Silas Blackwood glanced up from
the till.
His hazel eyes moved first
to Aurora, then to the man at the end of the counter.
He did not reach for
anything. That made it worse.
Silas reached for things when
danger looked simple. “Rory,”
the man said
. “Still answering to that?”
Nobody in London called her
Rory without permission. Not at first. Not after Cardiff. Not after the clean cut she had made and kept pressing her thumb against whenever the wound pretended to heal. She turned. For a second, she saw him as he had been at nineteen, knees folded under him on the carpet of Eva’s parents’ sitting room, stealing crisps from a bowl with one hand and marking her Pre-Law notes with the other because he thought her argument had “too much conscience and not enough teeth”.
He had laughed with his
whole body then. Dark curls, chipped front tooth, hands always inked with biro.
The man on the stool
had cut his hair close to the scalp. His cheeks had hollowed.
A neat black coat sat
on him with expensive restraint, and a pale scar crossed one
eyebrow
in a line too deliberate for accident. The chipped tooth had gone, replaced by something
perfect
and wrong.
Only his eyes remained, green-grey
and sharp, though they had learned to keep their weather below ground. “Finn Walsh,” she said. “Christ. Full government name. I must be in trouble.” “You’re alive.” “People do say that when they’re disappointed.” Silas closed the till drawer. The sound landed like a judge’s gavel. “Friend of yours, Carter?” “Old one.” “Those can be the most expensive.” Finn’s mouth tilted. “You must be Silas.” Silas wiped a spotless patch of bar with a folded cloth.
His silver signet ring caught
the dim light as his hand moved. “And you must have practised that tone in front of a mirror.” “Only the once. Didn’t like the audience.” Aurora moved behind the counter because standing still had begun to feel like surrender.
Her trainers stuck faintly to
a patch of spilled lager.
She reached for a clean
tumbler, then changed her mind and took a short, heavy-bottomed glass. “You drinking?” “I was hoping you’d remember.” “I remember plenty. That’s the problem.” Finn looked at the shelves behind her, past the ordinary bottles towards the old framed map of Prague near the back wall. Most customers missed it. Finn did not. “Whisky. Nothing sweet.” “You used to drink cider and pretend it didn’t make you hiccup.” “I used to do a great many things for attention.” “Successful habit.”
She poured without asking which
bottle. Silas watched the measure. Not the drink. The hand. Aurora kept it steady.
She slid the glass across
the bar and stopped it with two fingers before it reached Finn.
He looked at her left
wrist. The rag had slipped, showing the small crescent scar below her palm. “You still have that.” “Skin does that. Keeps records.” “The shed roof, wasn’t it?” “The broken greenhouse.” “You blamed me.” “You dared me.” “You climbed.” “And you told my mother I slipped on moss.” “I improved the narrative.” “My mother lectured me for a week about appropriate shoes.” “She liked me.” “She liked strays. My father didn’t.” “Brendan Carter liked statutes, cross-examinations and the sound of himself inhaling before destroying a witness.” Aurora’s fingers tightened on the bottle neck. “You remember his full name.” “Some men become architecture.” Silas set the cloth aside. “Carter, take five.” “I’m working.” “You’re glaring holes into my glassware.” Finn lifted his drink but did not sip. “She always did that. Stared at a thing until it confessed.” Aurora took the whisky bottle from the counter and returned it to the shelf. “Five minutes.” Silas nodded towards the narrow table in the corner beneath a photograph of three men on a bridge, each face blurred by rain or bad film.
His limp showed as he
stepped out from behind the bar to collect abandoned glasses. He did not go far. Aurora walked to the table. Finn followed with his drink.
He moved like a man
who had learned the value of walls, never crossing open space without marking exits. That had not been his way before. Before, he would sprawl anywhere, occupy any room as though life had put his name on the lease. They sat opposite one another. The table had old knife marks in its surface. Someone had carved a crude bird into one corner and later gouged out the head. Aurora
traced
the scarred wood with her thumb and felt the ghost of the wet rag still pressed to her palm. “You look well,” Finn said. “No, I don’t.” “All right. You look armed.” “That’s closer.” His smile came and went. “London did that?” “London gave me rent, late buses and a delivery route where men call me sweetheart from white vans. I did the rest.” “Eva said you’d left Cardiff.” Aurora leaned back. The chair creaked. “When did you speak to Eva?” “Years ago.” “Which years?” He studied the whisky. “The ones I haven’t accounted for.” “You came into Silas’ bar by accident?” “No.” “Good. I haven’t the patience for that performance.” A laugh caught in his throat, changed shape, died. “You never did.” “I had patience. You spent it.” Finn looked towards the door. A couple outside paused under the green neon, argued over a phone screen, then moved on. The sign gave their faces a drowned look. Inside, Silas stacked glasses without noise. Two women at the far booth bent close over cocktails, their laughter small and private. “I looked for you,” Finn said. Aurora kept her face still. “No, you didn’t.” “I went to your old flat.” “After how long?” He took his first drink. The whisky touched his mouth and gave him no visible comfort. “After I could.” “That’s tidy.” “It’s all I’ve got.” “No. You’ve got a better coat, a new tooth, and a scar you want me to ask about.”
His fingers rose to the
line through his
eyebrow
. He stopped before touching it. “You’ve become cruel.” “You’ve become polished. We’re both grieving.” That struck.
Not hard enough to show to anyone else, but she saw it land in the throat, in the careful swallow
. He set the glass down. “I deserved that.” “I know.” “Do you want an apology?” “I wanted one when I was twenty-one. I wanted one when Eva stopped saying your name because it made me unbearable. I wanted one when I sat in a Cardiff lecture hall reading case law and checking the door each time someone laughed like you. Want changes with age.” “What does it become?” “Inventory.” Finn nodded. The old Finn would have argued, charmed, mocked the seriousness out of the room until she found herself smiling against her will. This Finn accepted the knife and placed it neatly among the cutlery. “I heard about Evan,” he said. The bar changed. No noise stopped, yet every sound thinned. Aurora placed both hands flat on the table. Her crescent scar gleamed pale against the wood. “Careful.” “I’m not here on his behalf.” “If you know his name, you know enough to leave it out of your mouth.” “I know he put you in hospital.” “He didn’t.” “Eva said, after.” “Eva says things when she’s scared.” “Was she wrong?” Aurora smiled. The expression felt unfamiliar, all blade and no
warmth
. “She said he broke my rib. He didn’t. He bruised two. She said he threatened me with a knife. He didn’t. He held it while he explained how easy accidents looked in kitchens.” Finn closed his eyes for one beat. “Rory.” “No. Don’t put that voice on. You don’t get to arrive late and sound wounded at the sight of blood.” He opened his eyes again. “I should have been there.” “Yes.” No drama. No raised voice. The word sat between them, naked and ugly. Finn’s hand moved around the glass. His knuckles bore faint white marks, old breaks or bad habits. “I wasn’t anywhere good.” “That’s not absolution.” “I know.” “You keep saying that.” “I’ve had practice.” “With guilt?” “With speaking after the useful moment has passed.” Aurora glanced towards Silas. He had stopped near the bookshelf at the back, the one that hid the room nobody discussed in front of strangers. His posture looked casual, but his
weight
favoured his good leg. His eyes did not leave Finn. “You’ve met men like Silas, then.” Finn followed her gaze. “I’ve met men who think knowing things makes them safe.” “Silas knows it doesn’t.” “That makes him rarer.” “Why are you here?” Finn reached inside his coat. Silas moved. Not much. One shift of shoulder, one step closer to the bar’s hidden edge. Aurora lifted her hand,
not to stop him, but to slow the room
. Finn saw both gestures and smiled without humour. “Still collecting dangerous uncles, Rory?” “Still mistaking
charm
for currency?” He withdrew a folded paper napkin. No weapon. No phone.
Just a cheap white napkin
from somewhere else, its fibres gone soft from handling. He placed it on the table and slid it over. Aurora did not touch it. “What’s that?” “Proof I did look.” “On a napkin. Touching.” “It was all I had when I found the address.” The handwriting showed through faintly. Hers. Older, rounder, less guarded. A line from university, a joke perhaps, the slant of a girl who had not yet learned to minimise evidence of herself. Aurora unfolded it. RORY CARTER, FUTURE DEFENDER OF THE DOOMED. Under it, in Finn’s jagged hand: FINN WALSH, DOOMED. PLEASE ADVISE. She remembered writing it in a pub near the union while Eva kissed a drummer by the fruit machine and Finn declared himself guilty of “criminal levels of insight”. She had forgotten the napkin. He had not. “That isn’t proof.” “No. It’s a relic.” “Relics are for people who want forgiveness without repair.” “I came to repair what I can.” Aurora looked at the napkin until the ink blurred, then folded it along its old creases. “You can’t repair absence.” “No.” “You can explain it.” Finn rubbed his thumb against the rim of his glass. The motion had rhythm. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Her father’s old clock in the hallway had
sounded like that on nights she waited for
Evan to come back either sorry or worse. “I owed money,” Finn said. “You always owed someone a tenner.” “Not a tenner.” The words carried a back room smell. Sweat, locked doors, cheap aftershave over fear. “How much?” “Enough that Cardiff became small.” “You ran.” “I thought leaving made the danger follow me instead of spilling over everyone else.” “That sounds noble if you don’t examine it.” “It wasn’t noble. I was twenty-two and stupid and proud. A holy trinity.” “Who?” He looked down at the table. “A man named Coyle.” Silas spoke from across the room. “Patrick or Sean?” Finn did not turn. “Patrick.” Silas came closer, cloth still in hand. “Patrick Coyle died in Pentonville.” “Men like that don’t die clean. They leave instructions.” Aurora stared at Silas. “You know him?” “I know of him.” “That means yes.” “It means his reputation entered rooms before he did.” Finn’s jaw tightened. “He used students. Cards, pills, favours. Nothing grand. He liked clever ones because clever ones believed they could
calculate
the blast radius.” “And you?” “I
calculated
wrong.” The women in the booth stood, gathered their bags, and left in a gust of perfume and cold air from outside. The door shut. The Raven’s Nest shrank around the three of them. Aurora’s part-time job at the Golden Empress had taught her how
quickly
a place changed after customers left. Chairs became obstacles. Reflections became witnesses. A bar after midnight had the honest look of a face after make-up came off. Silas locked the front door, turned the sign to CLOSED, and drew the blind down halfway. Aurora watched him. “My five minutes became something else.” “It often does.” Finn gave Silas a thin look. “Do you always close when an old friend visits?” “Only when he brings dead gangsters to my tables.” “I didn’t bring him.” “No, you brought the inheritance.” Aurora stood. The chair scraped backwards. “What inheritance?” Finn’s
silence
answered first. She laughed once. “Oh, don’t.” “Rory.” “No. I know that tone too. That’s the tone men use before they make their mess sound like weather.” He pushed the whisky away. “Coyle kept ledgers. Names, payments, police, lawyers, runners. I took one.” Silas went still. Aurora looked from one man to the other. “That sounds less like repair and more like suicide with stationery.” “It bought me years.” “What did it cost?” Finn’s polished face cracked. Not much. Enough. His eyes
flicked
towards the old photographs on the wall, towards a past he had not earned the right to decorate. “My brother.” Aurora’s anger did not vanish. It changed temperature. “Conor?” Finn nodded. She remembered Conor Walsh at seventeen, freckles across his nose, too gentle for the house that raised him. He used to fix punctures for half the street and blush when anyone thanked him. “How?” “Officially, he drove drunk into a wall outside Newport.” “And unofficially?” “They sent me a photo of the car before police arrived. His hands had cable marks.” The words left no room for comfort. Aurora sat again,
slowly
this time. “Why come now?” “Because someone used the ledger last week.” Silas’
eyes narrowed
. “Impossible if you still have it.” “I don’t.” “Then you’re a fool.” “Yes.” Aurora picked up the napkin and folded it smaller. “Who has it?” Finn looked at her. There it was, at last. Not nostalgia. Not apology. Need. It had always looked dangerous on him. “I posted it to you.” Silas swore under his breath. Aurora stared at Finn. “You what?” “Years ago. Before I disappeared properly. I sent it to the only person I trusted who’d be furious enough to hide it well without opening it.” “I never got a ledger.” “I didn’t write my name on it. Cardiff address. Brown envelope. Legal textbook inside. You always kept those dreadful things.” She searched memory and found only fragments, damp cardboard boxes after she left university, Eva on the floor with tape between her teeth, Evan in the doorway pretending patience while counting every object she chose to keep. A book. A heavy one. Criminal Procedure. She had hated it. She had not opened it in years. Her mouth dried. Silas saw the answer in her face. “Where is it?” Aurora stood too fast. The napkin fell to the floor. “My flat.” “Above us?” “Yes.” Finn rose. “You kept it?” “I kept all my old law books because spite is cheaper than therapy.” Silas crossed to the bookshelf and pressed two fingers against the spine of an atlas. The hidden latch clicked inside the wall. “No one goes upstairs blind.” Aurora moved towards the narrow staff door that led to the staircase. “Blind is wasting time while you two measure each other’s sins.” Silas caught her wrist, gentle but firm. His thumb stopped just below the crescent scar. “Carter.” She looked at his hand until he released her. From above came a dull thud. Not loud. Not dramatic. A single heavy sound, like a box dropped onto floorboards. All three looked at the ceiling. Another sound followed. A scrape.
Then footsteps, careful, crossing Aurora’s
flat overhead. Finn reached inside his coat again, and this time he drew a small black pistol. Silas’ face hardened. “Not in my bar.” Aurora grabbed the nearest bottle by the neck. Above them, glass
shattered
.
Then a man screamed her
name. Not Rory. Not Aurora. “Laila!” came the voice from upstairs, ragged with triumph. “I know you’re home.”
created_at
"2026-04-24T21:02:38.489Z"
4/24/2026, 9:02:38 PM
model
"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
app_id
182717
external_user
(null)
streamed
true
cancelled
false
latency
779
moderation_latency
(null)
generation_time
95339
tokens_prompt
4618
tokens_completion
4769
native_tokens_prompt
4131
native_tokens_completion
3643
native_tokens_completion_images
0
native_tokens_reasoning
0
native_tokens_cached
0
num_media_prompt
(null)
num_input_audio_prompt
(null)
num_media_completion
0
num_search_results
(null)
num_fetches
(null)
web_search_engine
(null)
origin
"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byok
false
finish_reason
"stop"
native_finish_reason
"completed"
usage
0.129945
router
(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id
"58e5b336-423e-430b-a2ab-8bc353f0c51b"
id
"resp_027a10edb65c170c0169ebda6eaf088195ad64920c87462616"
is_byok
false
latency
340
model_permaslug
"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
provider_name
"OpenAI"
status
200
user_agent
"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer
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request_id
"req-1777064558-MGrsCwaWSgmsZTseKFqe"
session_id
(null)
api_type
"completions"
id
"gen-1777064558-rtrNjnN5l6me0VJfMAfJ"
upstream_id
"resp_027a10edb65c170c0169ebda6eaf088195ad64920c87462616"
total_cost
0.129945
cache_discount
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upstream_inference_cost
0
provider_name
"OpenAI"
response_cache_source_id
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Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
8
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
179
tagDensity
0.045
leniency
0.089
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
96.40%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
2780
totalAiIsmAdverbs
2
found
0
adverb
"quickly"
count
1
1
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
highlights
0
"quickly"
1
"slowly"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0
"Blackwood"
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
76.62%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
2780
totalAiIsms
13
found
0
word
"eyebrow"
count
2
1
word
"perfect"
count
1
2
word
"traced"
count
1
3
word
"warmth"
count
1
4
word
"weight"
count
1
5
word
"charm"
count
1
6
word
"calculate"
count
1
7
word
"calculated"
count
1
8
word
"silence"
count
1
9
word
"flicked"
count
1
10
word
"footsteps"
count
1
11
word
"shattered"
count
1
highlights
0
"eyebrow"
1
"perfect"
2
"traced"
3
"warmth"
4
"weight"
5
"charm"
6
"calculate"
7
"calculated"
8
"silence"
9
"flicked"
10
"footsteps"
11
"shattered"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"eyes widened/narrowed"
count
1
highlights
0
"eyes narrowed"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
212
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
1
narrationSentences
212
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
0
"tended to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
384
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
repeatedSegmentCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
54
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
2780
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
26
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
16.67%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
105
wordCount
1723
uniqueNames
18
maxNameDensity
1.86
worstName
"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity
4.5
worstWindowName
"Finn"
discoveredNames
Carter
1
Raven
2
Nest
2
Blackwood
1
Aurora
32
London
1
Rory
2
Cardiff
1
Eva
3
Silas
20
Prague
1
Finn
32
Evan
2
Golden
1
Empress
1
Conor
1
Walsh
1
Procedure
1
persons
0
"Carter"
1
"Raven"
2
"Nest"
3
"Blackwood"
4
"Aurora"
5
"Rory"
6
"Eva"
7
"Silas"
8
"Finn"
9
"Evan"
10
"Empress"
11
"Conor"
12
"Walsh"
places
0
"London"
1
"Cardiff"
2
"Prague"
3
"Golden"
globalScore
0.571
windowScore
0.167
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
113
glossingSentenceCount
1
matches
0
"sounded like that on nights she waited for"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
2
per1kWords
0.719
wordCount
2780
matches
0
"Not hard enough to show to anyone else, but she saw it land in the throat, in the careful swallow"
1
"not to stop him, but to slow the room"
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
384
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
258
mean
10.78
std
12.6
cv
1.169
sampleLengths
0
12
1
47
2
82
3
14
4
42
5
8
6
34
7
2
8
71
9
69
10
4
11
9
12
2
13
7
14
12
15
4
16
2
17
6
18
7
19
23
20
12
21
7
22
40
23
2
24
5
25
6
26
29
27
3
28
12
29
10
30
2
31
36
32
18
33
4
34
5
35
5
36
3
37
3
38
3
39
2
40
9
41
4
42
10
43
3
44
6
45
15
46
7
47
5
48
4
49
5
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
0
totalSentences
212
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
0
totalVerbs
293
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
384
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
1271
adjectiveStacks
1
stackExamples
0
"bent close over cocktails,"
adverbCount
30
adverbRatio
0.023603461841070025
lyAdverbCount
9
lyAdverbRatio
0.007081038552321007
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
384
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
384
mean
7.24
std
6.75
cv
0.933
sampleLengths
0
12
1
22
2
25
3
13
4
22
5
22
6
25
7
10
8
4
9
7
10
17
11
6
12
4
13
8
14
4
15
4
16
8
17
3
18
3
19
20
20
2
21
53
22
8
23
10
24
13
25
4
26
24
27
11
28
17
29
4
30
9
31
2
32
7
33
5
34
7
35
4
36
2
37
6
38
3
39
4
40
11
41
12
42
12
43
7
44
14
45
10
46
16
47
2
48
5
49
6
42.71%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
28
diversityRatio
0.25
totalSentences
384
uniqueOpeners
96
74.91%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
4
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"Only his eyes remained, green-grey"
1
"Just a cheap white napkin"
2
"Then footsteps, careful, crossing Aurora’s"
3
"Then a man screamed her"
ratio
0.022
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
46
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"His hazel eyes moved first"
1
"He did not reach for"
2
"He had laughed with his"
3
"His cheeks had hollowed."
4
"His silver signet ring caught"
5
"Her trainers stuck faintly to"
6
"She reached for a clean"
7
"She poured without asking which"
8
"She slid the glass across"
9
"He looked at her left"
10
"His limp showed as he"
11
"He did not go far."
12
"He moved like a man"
13
"They sat opposite one another."
14
"His smile came and went."
15
"He studied the whisky."
16
"He took his first drink."
17
"His fingers rose to the"
18
"He stopped before touching it."
19
"He set the glass down."
ratio
0.258
35.84%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
151
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"Aurora Carter froze with a"
1
"The voice came from the"
2
"The Raven’s Nest had begun"
3
"The green neon sign above"
4
"Aurora set the crate down"
5
"Glass chimed against glass."
6
"Silas Blackwood glanced up from"
7
"His hazel eyes moved first"
8
"He did not reach for"
9
"That made it worse."
10
"Silas reached for things when"
11
"the man said"
12
"Nobody in London called her"
13
"He had laughed with his"
14
"Dark curls, chipped front tooth,"
15
"The man on the stool"
16
"His cheeks had hollowed."
17
"A neat black coat sat"
18
"The chipped tooth had gone,"
19
"Silas closed the till drawer."
ratio
0.848
28.09%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
1
totalSentences
178
matches
0
"Before, he would sprawl anywhere,"
ratio
0.006
100.00%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
58
technicalSentenceCount
1
matches
0
"She remembered Conor Walsh at seventeen, freckles across his nose, too gentle for the house that raised him."
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
8
uselessAdditionCount
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
6
fancyCount
0
fancyTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
179
tagDensity
0.034
leniency
0.067
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
88.8412%