Run: 2026-04-25-01KQ2GRA0EXVATWWM8707A1AHV

Run Details

Duration:
1m 37s
Cost:
$0.003750
Provider:
DeepSeek

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The air changed. It wasn’t a gradual thing, like walking from a cool room into summer heat. One step, and Aurora’s lungs filled with something thick enough to taste—sweet rot and woodsmoke, cinnamon and old wine, all layered over an undertone of roasted meat that made her stomach clench even as her mind recoiled. The amber sky pressed down like a lid, heavy and too close, streaked with clouds the color of bruised plums. She stumbled, catching herself on the twisted trunk of a vine. The bark was warm against her palm, almost feverish, and when she looked down she saw that the vine was heavy with grapes the size of her thumb, each one a deep, glossy black shot through with veins of gold. They glowed faintly, a bioluminescence that pulsed in a slow, hypnotic rhythm. “Steady,” Nyx murmured, a voice like wind through dead leaves. They materialized at her elbow, a silhouette cut from living shadow, their violet eyes faint pinpricks in the gloom. Their form had sharpened since they’d crossed the threshold—more solid here, more defined, as if the realm’s strangeness gave them substance. “The crossing is never gentle. Your body will adjust.” Aurora’s hand went to her chest. Beneath her shirt, the Heartstone pendant was a coal against her skin, pulsing in counterpoint to the grapes on the vine. It had blazed white-hot the moment Isolde had drawn aside the Veil with a whisper and a pass of her silver-brushed fingers, and it hadn’t cooled since. If anything, the heat was spreading, threading through her ribs like liquid sunlight. She took a shaky breath and straightened. Behind them, the rift still shimmered—a vertical scar of colorless light, impossible to look at directly. Through it, she could just make out the familiar silhouette of Richmond Park’s ancient oaks, and the slim figure of Isolde watching them with pale lavender eyes. “Two hours,” the Seer called, her voice threaded with riddles even in a simple warning. “No more. Time in Dymas is a river that flows both ways. I will hold the door, but the door will not hold for long.” The rift sealed with a sound like a harp string snapping. And they were alone. Dymas stretched before them in a gentle, rolling landscape that should have been beautiful. Should have been. Aurora’s mind kept snagging on the details. The vines and orchards that covered every slope were too lush, too perfect—leaves glossy and unblemished, fruit heavy and trembling as if eager to be plucked. The soil beneath her boots was a rich, dark red, like coffee grounds mixed with rust, and it gave off a faint heat. And the sky—that amber sky—was slowly, almost imperceptibly, churning. A low, distant thunder rolled across the hills, though there were no clouds that bore lightning. “It’s breathing,” Aurora said, and her own voice sounded small. Nyx drifted forward, their feet—or the approximation of feet that existed at the base of their shadow-form—not quite touching the ground. “The whole realm is alive. It wants. That’s the heart of Gluttony, little human. Everything here wants to be consumed, or to consume you. There’s no middle ground.” They set off down a path that wasn’t a path, just a natural corridor between espaliered trees whose branches were espaliered into elaborate, unnatural spirals. The fruit hanging from them was alien: globes of striated purple that wept a honey-colored sap, clusters of what looked like cherries but chimed softly when the breeze stirred them, a single pendulous orb the size of a melon with a rind so translucent that Aurora could see seeds swimming inside it like fish in a murky pond. The smells shifted constantly—now roasted chestnuts, now fresh bread, now a heady floral perfume that made her head swim. She pulled the collar of her jacket up over her nose. “Someone’s been here,” she said, pointing to a fallen fruit lying half-eaten in the loam. The bite marks were human, or close to it, but the flesh of the fruit was a glistening, unnatural magenta, and a dozen tiny insects with carapaces like polished brass were crawling in the exposed wound. She stepped around it carefully, one hand resting on the hilt of the Fae-forged blade sheathed at her hip. The dagger was cold—always cold, its moonsilver metal drinking warmth from the air—but here, in Dymas, it was almost icy, as if the weapon was waking up. Nyx paused, their head tilting. “The helbound. Souls contracted to this realm’s kitchens and vineyards. They’re not demons, but they’re not human anymore either. They’ve been… seasoned. Altered. Don’t accept any food they offer, and don’t drink anything, even water. Especially not water.” They moved deeper. The path wound past a small structure—a low, circular building with walls of rose quartz that glowed from within, soft pink light bleeding through the stone. Through a high, arched window, Aurora saw movement: a tall figure in a stained apron, its skin the gray of bread mold, its head crowned with a dozen tiny, flickering candles instead of hair. It was kneading a massive mound of dough that squealed faintly with each press of its long fingers. The smell of yeast and sugar rolled out, so powerful that Aurora’s knees nearly buckled. Her mouth watered against her will. She could taste the bread—warm, soft, studded with garlic and rosemary, dripping with butter—even though she’d never been closer than fifty feet. “Keep walking,” Nyx said, and their voice was hard. But they had no mouth to salivate, no stomach to hollow. They were shadow and memory. They didn’t have to fight the sudden, screaming desire to turn back and beg for a scrap of that bread. Aurora tore her gaze away and forced her legs forward, one step, then another. The craving passed slowly, leaving behind a residue of shame and fear. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and felt the tiny, crescent-shaped scar on her wrist catch against her lip. Grounding. She focused on it. They emerged from the orchards onto a high bluff, and the full geography of Dymas opened before them. In the center of the sprawling valley below, a palace rose from the landscape like a tumor. It wasn’t built so much as it had grown—layers of architecture stacked and fused and metastasized over eons. Spires of blackened sugar twisted next to towers of crystallized honey; bridges of stretched caramel arced between parapets studded with candied fruits; in the highest window, a light the color of mulled wine pulsed steadily. The palace was magnificent and monstrous, a monument to unchecked appetite. Surrounding it, vineyards and fields and kitchens stretched in concentric rings, bustling with figures too distant to make out. The thunder Aurora had heard earlier wasn’t thunder at all: it was the collective sound of a thousand knives chopping, a thousand ovens roaring, a thousand voices groaning in satiety or starvation. It was the sound of a realm gorging itself. “Belphegor’s seat,” Nyx said. They were standing at the edge of the bluff, their form wavering slightly, as if the vision disturbed even them. “The Prince of Gluttony. He holds court in the Hall of Endless Courses. They say he hasn’t risen from his throne in three thousand years. He doesn’t need to. Everything in Dymas comes to him eventually.” Aurora stared at the palace. The Heartstone pendant’s warmth had become a steady, almost uncomfortable throb, and she realized it was synchronizing with the pulse of that distant, mulled-wine light. The gemstone, deep crimson and roughly the size of a thumbnail, was glowing visibly now, even through her shirt. She pulled it out and held it in her palm. The silver chain was almost too hot to touch, but the stone itself was cool—a paradox that sent a shiver up her arm. “It’s connected to this place,” she said. “The pendant. It’s not just reacting to the portal. It’s reacting to something in that palace.” Nyx turned their violet gaze on her. “Then your unknown benefactor has ties to Hel. Or to Dymas specifically. That’s useful—or disastrous. Hard to say which, with a realm built on excess.” They paused, their form sharpening again. “Do you hear that?” Aurora listened. Beneath the constant background rumble, a new sound was threading itself through the air: a low, rhythmic chant, many voices speaking in unison, the words too far away to distinguish. It was coming from a grove to their left, a stand of trees with bark like marbled fat and leaves of translucent pink. She squinted and saw shapes moving between the trunks—kneeling, bowing, pressing their faces to the ground. Pilgrims. Or prisoners. Maybe both. One of them looked up. Aurora’s breath caught. The face was gaunt, human, the eyes sunken and dark-ringed with hunger, but the mouth—the mouth was smiling. Blissful, ecstatic, a smile so wide it split the corners of the lips. He raised one hand in greeting, or invitation, and in his palm she saw a single bite mark, raw and red and oozing a clear fluid. He’d bitten himself. “We need to leave this spot,” Aurora said, stepping back. Her heel caught a root and she nearly fell, but Nyx was there, a cool, solid hand gripping her elbow. The touch was a shock—they rarely solidified enough to make contact—and it grounded her again. “Isolde said two hours. Time moves differently here. We don’t know if that’s two hours Earth-side or two hours local. If we lose track—” “I’m aware.” Nyx released her. “But we’re here for a reason. The fissure Isolde saw in her visions—the tear in the Veil that’s letting something through into London. It originated here, in Dymas. We need to find the anchor point, the place where the breach began, and seal it. Or at least map it. The Wardens can’t do anything without information, and Isolde’s too bound by her compulsions to give us a straight answer.” Aurora nodded, steadier now. She touched the Fae blade at her side, and the cold bit her fingertips, clearing her head. “Right. So we look for the breach—a shimmer, a distortion, like the rift we came through. And we avoid the palace, the kitchens, the pilgrims, and anything that wants to eat us or feed us. Simple.” “Nothing in Dymas is simple,” Nyx said, but there was something that might have been respect in their whisper-voice. They gestured to a narrow trail descending the bluff into a canyon whose walls were veined with what looked like caramelized sugar. “This way. I can feel something—a thinness in the air, like the Veil is worn here. It’s not far.” They climbed down. The canyon walls closed in, the amber sky reducing to a ribbon of light high above. The air grew cooler, which was a relief, but also heavier, thicker, and the smells changed again—no longer enticing, but cloying, the odor of something long dead and pickled. Aurora’s boots crunched on a layer of dried leaves that were the shape of maple but the color of liver. She heard skittering in the shadows, the click of chitin, and tightened her grip on the dagger’s hilt. Ahead, Nyx stopped. Their form went perfectly still, the way only something not-quite-physical can, a stillness that was absolute. “There,” they said, and pointed. The end of the canyon opened into a small, circular clearing. In the center stood a single table, long and low, carved from black wood that seemed to drink the light. It was set for a feast: plates piled with glistening delicacies, goblets of dark liquid that steamed despite the cool air, centerpieces of gilded bone and wax-dripping candles. The food was pristine, untouched, but the chairs around the table were occupied. Six figures sat in perfect, frozen stillness. They were human, or had been—each one dressed in fine clothes that were now faded, their hands resting on the table or curled around silverware, their faces turned toward the empty head of the table where a seventh chair waited. Their expressions were identical: a slack-jawed, hollow-cheeked ecstasy, exactly like the pilgrim in the grove. Their eyes were open and cloudy, their chests did not rise, but somehow Aurora knew they weren’t dead. They were waiting. And in the air above the table, directly over the seventh chair, the Veil was torn. It was a wound. A ragged, jagged slash in reality, its edges shimmering with that colorless light Aurora had seen at the rift, but here it was sickly—pulsing with a faint amber infection, bleeding Dymas into the mortal world. Through the tear, she could see a distorted view of London at night: the Thames, the London Eye, the lights of the South Bank. The image wavered and stuttered, as if the breach was struggling to remain open. “The anchor point,” Nyx breathed. “It’s feeding off them. Their endless waiting, their unfulfilled hunger—it’s the perfect emotional meal for a realm of Gluttony. It’s keeping the breach stable.” Aurora stepped closer, the Heartstone pendant now burning like a brand against her chest. The Fae blade was so cold in her hand that her fingers ached, but she drew it anyway. The leaf-shaped moonsilver dagger hummed, a near-inaudible frequency that set her teeth on edge. One of the figures at the table—a woman in a gown of decaying green velvetslowly turned her head. The movement was jerky, mechanical, like a puppet whose strings were tangled. Her cloudy eyes fixed on Aurora, and her mouth stretched into that same beatific smile. “You came,” she said, and her voice was dry as autumn leaves, and it was also six other voices layered beneath it, speaking in unison. “Will you sit? Will you eat?” The scent that rose from the table was overpowering. Roasted meats and fresh-baked bread, spiced wine and honeyed fruits, all of it perfect, all of it promising fulfillment beyond anything she’d ever known. Aurora’s stomach cramped. She hadn’t eaten in hours. She was so hungry. The knife trembled in her grip. Nyx stepped between her and the table, their shadow-form expanding, wings of darkness unfurling from their back. “Aurora. Look at me.” The whisper-voice cut through the fog. “This is not for you. The breach—focus on the breach. The blade will remember its purpose if you will.” She dragged her gaze upward, away from the food, away from the smiling woman, and into that torn seam between worlds. The pendant was scorching now, and with a jolt, she understood: it wasn’t just warming. It was pulling. The stone wanted to touch the Veil, wanted to close the wound, as if it had been made for this. As if whoever had given it to her had known. With a cry, she lunged forward, not toward the table but past it, and pressed the pendant into the ragged edge of the tear. Light erupted—crimson and violet and the colorless white of between-realms—and the Veil screamed. It was a sound that had no business existing, a sound that clawed at her eardrums and her soul. The frozen figures at the table spasmed. The woman with the green gown threw back her head and laughed, a horrible, joyful sound, as the breach shuddered and began to knit closed. Then Nyx was dragging her back, cold hands under her arms, pulling her away from the table, away from the canyon, away from the clearing. The world blurred. She saw the palace in the valley, its windows flaring bright. She saw the orchards and the pilgrims and the rose-quartz bakery all streak past in reverse. And then the rift was opening again, Isolde’s silver hair and pale eyes rushing toward them, and they tumbled through onto the cool, wet grass of Richmond Park as the pocket realm sealed with a sound like a thousand mouths snapping shut. Aurora lay on her back, gasping. The London sky was overcast and gray and utterly mundane. The Heartstone pendant had gone dark and cool against her skin. In her other hand, the Fae blade still hummed, a satisfied little song, its cold now a comfort. Nyx stood over her, their form barely more than a suggestion of deeper darkness beneath the oaks. “Never again,” they said, “will I let you lead with the heart. Literally.” Isolde knelt beside her, and for once, her riddle-speech was absent. “You closed a rift of Dymas. That is no small thing. The stone you carry—it is bound to the realm of Gluttony, but it is not of it. Someone sent you a key, Aurora Carter. The question is: to what lock?” Aurora closed her eyes and let the answer wait. The scent of roasted meat still clung to her clothes, and she could still taste phantom bread at the back of her throat. She didn’t know if she’d ever be hungry again. She didn’t know if she’d ever stop.
created_at"2026-04-25T14:30:03.244Z" 4/25/2026, 2:30:03 PM
model"deepseek/deepseek-v4-pro-20260423"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1481
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time94876
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion4734
native_tokens_prompt1558
native_tokens_completion4235
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning421
native_tokens_cached1536
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.0037497
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"d084170b-dd99-4e53-9ae1-b63881f3cfbf"
id"1500b6ec-0ea4-491d-b389-8f5826686937"
is_byokfalse
latency301
model_permaslug"deepseek/deepseek-v4-pro-20260423"
provider_name"DeepSeek"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777127403-b1yePxPUxe8sLP09qHSo"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
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upstream_id"1500b6ec-0ea4-491d-b389-8f5826686937"
total_cost0.0037497
cache_discount0.00061248
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"DeepSeek"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags15
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.484
leniency0.968
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
85.91% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2838
totalAiIsmAdverbs8
found
0
adverb"slowly"
count3
1
adverb"softly"
count1
2
adverb"carefully"
count1
3
adverb"slightly"
count1
4
adverb"perfectly"
count1
5
adverb"utterly"
count1
highlights
0"slowly"
1"softly"
2"carefully"
3"slightly"
4"perfectly"
5"utterly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
41.86% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2838
totalAiIsms33
found
0
word"stomach"
count3
1
word"pulsed"
count2
2
word"gloom"
count1
3
word"whisper"
count3
4
word"shimmered"
count1
5
word"familiar"
count1
6
word"perfect"
count4
7
word"churning"
count1
8
word"glistening"
count2
9
word"warmth"
count2
10
word"structure"
count1
11
word"desire"
count1
12
word"crystallized"
count1
13
word"roaring"
count1
14
word"wavering"
count1
15
word"throb"
count1
16
word"pulse"
count1
17
word"rhythmic"
count1
18
word"pristine"
count1
19
word"wavered"
count1
20
word"velvet"
count1
21
word"mechanical"
count1
22
word"trembled"
count1
highlights
0"stomach"
1"pulsed"
2"gloom"
3"whisper"
4"shimmered"
5"familiar"
6"perfect"
7"churning"
8"glistening"
9"warmth"
10"structure"
11"desire"
12"crystallized"
13"roaring"
14"wavering"
15"throb"
16"pulse"
17"rhythmic"
18"pristine"
19"wavered"
20"velvet"
21"mechanical"
22"trembled"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences157
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences157
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences172
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen70
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2806
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions18
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions75
wordCount2336
uniqueNames18
maxNameDensity0.94
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Aurora22
Heartstone4
Isolde4
Veil4
Richmond2
Park2
Seer1
Nyx14
Fae-forged1
Dymas4
Fae4
London3
Thames1
Eye1
South1
Bank1
One3
Through3
persons
0"Aurora"
1"Isolde"
2"Veil"
3"Seer"
4"Nyx"
5"Dymas"
6"One"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Thames"
globalScore1
windowScore1
49.19% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences124
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"not quite touching the ground"
1"looked like cherries but chimed softly wh"
2"l, was glowing visibly now, even through h"
3"looked like caramelized sugar"
4"wood that seemed to drink the light"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.713
wordCount2806
matches
0"not demons, but they’re not human anymore either"
1"not toward the table but past it"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences172
matches
0"saw that the"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs47
mean59.7
std30.89
cv0.517
sampleLengths
074
163
259
3117
440
515
698
710
849
9113
1097
1143
12124
1345
1454
1518
16141
1760
1882
1923
2042
2176
225
2363
2469
2574
2657
2760
2886
2924
3072
3183
3216
3377
3429
3591
3631
3751
3846
3969
4024
4164
4297
4345
4430
4552
4648
94.09% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences157
matches
0"were espaliered"
1"were veined"
2"was torn"
3"were tangled"
4"been made"
0.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount16
totalVerbs369
matches
0"was spreading"
1"were crawling"
2"was waking"
3"was kneading"
4"were standing"
5"was synchronizing"
6"was glowing"
7"was threading"
8"was coming"
9"were waiting"
10"was struggling"
11"was scorching"
12"wasn’t just warming"
13"was pulling"
14"was dragging"
15"was opening"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount25
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences21
totalSentences172
ratio0.122
matches
0"One step, and Aurora’s lungs filled with something thick enough to taste—sweet rot and woodsmoke, cinnamon and old wine, all layered over an undertone of roasted meat that made her stomach clench even as her mind recoiled."
1"Their form had sharpened since they’d crossed the threshold—more solid here, more defined, as if the realm’s strangeness gave them substance."
2"Behind them, the rift still shimmered—a vertical scar of colorless light, impossible to look at directly."
3"The vines and orchards that covered every slope were too lush, too perfect—leaves glossy and unblemished, fruit heavy and trembling as if eager to be plucked."
4"And the sky—that amber sky—was slowly, almost imperceptibly, churning."
5"Nyx drifted forward, their feet—or the approximation of feet that existed at the base of their shadow-form—not quite touching the ground."
6"The smells shifted constantly—now roasted chestnuts, now fresh bread, now a heady floral perfume that made her head swim."
7"The dagger was cold—always cold, its moonsilver metal drinking warmth from the air—but here, in Dymas, it was almost icy, as if the weapon was waking up."
8"The path wound past a small structure—a low, circular building with walls of rose quartz that glowed from within, soft pink light bleeding through the stone."
9"She could taste the bread—warm, soft, studded with garlic and rosemary, dripping with butter—even though she’d never been closer than fifty feet."
10"It wasn’t built so much as it had grown—layers of architecture stacked and fused and metastasized over eons."
11"Spires of blackened sugar twisted next to towers of crystallized honey; bridges of stretched caramel arced between parapets studded with candied fruits; in the highest window, a light the color of mulled wine pulsed steadily."
12"The silver chain was almost too hot to touch, but the stone itself was cool—a paradox that sent a shiver up her arm."
13"She squinted and saw shapes moving between the trunks—kneeling, bowing, pressing their faces to the ground."
14"The face was gaunt, human, the eyes sunken and dark-ringed with hunger, but the mouth—the mouth was smiling."
15"The touch was a shock—they rarely solidified enough to make contact—and it grounded her again."
16"The air grew cooler, which was a relief, but also heavier, thicker, and the smells changed again—no longer enticing, but cloying, the odor of something long dead and pickled."
17"They were human, or had been—each one dressed in fine clothes that were now faded, their hands resting on the table or curled around silverware, their faces turned toward the empty head of the table where a seventh chair waited."
18"A ragged, jagged slash in reality, its edges shimmering with that colorless light Aurora had seen at the rift, but here it was sickly—pulsing with a faint amber infection, bleeding Dymas into the mortal world."
19"One of the figures at the table—a woman in a gown of decaying green velvet—slowly turned her head."
20"Light erupted—crimson and violet and the colorless white of between-realms—and the Veil screamed."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2386
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"tiny, crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount95
adverbRatio0.039815590947191955
lyAdverbCount24
lyAdverbRatio0.010058675607711651
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences172
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences172
mean16.31
std10.87
cv0.666
sampleLengths
03
114
237
320
411
540
612
710
819
921
109
116
1221
1327
1413
157
1616
1727
1815
1925
2011
214
2214
233
247
2526
2623
279
2816
2910
3021
3128
3225
3358
3419
3511
3615
3736
3819
3927
405
4138
423
4326
4434
4518
4615
476
4822
499
41.86% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats14
diversityRatio0.29651162790697677
totalSentences172
uniqueOpeners51
22.52% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences148
matches
0"Then Nyx was dragging her"
ratio0.007
76.76% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount53
totalSentences148
matches
0"It wasn’t a gradual thing,"
1"She stumbled, catching herself on"
2"They glowed faintly, a bioluminescence"
3"They materialized at her elbow,"
4"Their form had sharpened since"
5"It had blazed white-hot the"
6"She took a shaky breath"
7"They set off down a"
8"She pulled the collar of"
9"she said, pointing to a"
10"She stepped around it carefully,"
11"They moved deeper."
12"It was kneading a massive"
13"Her mouth watered against her"
14"She could taste the bread—warm,"
15"They were shadow and memory."
16"They didn’t have to fight"
17"She wiped her mouth with"
18"She focused on it."
19"They emerged from the orchards"
ratio0.358
51.22% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount121
totalSentences148
matches
0"The air changed."
1"It wasn’t a gradual thing,"
2"The amber sky pressed down"
3"She stumbled, catching herself on"
4"The bark was warm against"
5"They glowed faintly, a bioluminescence"
6"Nyx murmured, a voice like"
7"They materialized at her elbow,"
8"Their form had sharpened since"
9"Aurora’s hand went to her"
10"It had blazed white-hot the"
11"She took a shaky breath"
12"the Seer called, her voice"
13"The rift sealed with a"
14"Dymas stretched before them in"
15"Aurora’s mind kept snagging on"
16"The vines and orchards that"
17"The soil beneath her boots"
18"A low, distant thunder rolled"
19"Aurora said, and her own"
ratio0.818
67.57% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences148
matches
0"If anything, the heat was"
1"As if whoever had given"
ratio0.014
1.41% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences101
technicalSentenceCount20
matches
0"One step, and Aurora’s lungs filled with something thick enough to taste—sweet rot and woodsmoke, cinnamon and old wine, all layered over an undertone of roaste…"
1"Their form had sharpened since they’d crossed the threshold—more solid here, more defined, as if the realm’s strangeness gave them substance."
2"Dymas stretched before them in a gentle, rolling landscape that should have been beautiful."
3"The vines and orchards that covered every slope were too lush, too perfect—leaves glossy and unblemished, fruit heavy and trembling as if eager to be plucked."
4"Nyx drifted forward, their feet—or the approximation of feet that existed at the base of their shadow-form—not quite touching the ground."
5"They set off down a path that wasn’t a path, just a natural corridor between espaliered trees whose branches were espaliered into elaborate, unnatural spirals."
6"The smells shifted constantly—now roasted chestnuts, now fresh bread, now a heady floral perfume that made her head swim."
7"The dagger was cold—always cold, its moonsilver metal drinking warmth from the air—but here, in Dymas, it was almost icy, as if the weapon was waking up."
8"The path wound past a small structure—a low, circular building with walls of rose quartz that glowed from within, soft pink light bleeding through the stone."
9"It was kneading a massive mound of dough that squealed faintly with each press of its long fingers."
10"They were standing at the edge of the bluff, their form wavering slightly, as if the vision disturbed even them."
11"Aurora’s boots crunched on a layer of dried leaves that were the shape of maple but the color of liver."
12"Their form went perfectly still, the way only something not-quite-physical can, a stillness that was absolute."
13"In the center stood a single table, long and low, carved from black wood that seemed to drink the light."
14"They were human, or had been—each one dressed in fine clothes that were now faded, their hands resting on the table or curled around silverware, their faces tur…"
15"A ragged, jagged slash in reality, its edges shimmering with that colorless light Aurora had seen at the rift, but here it was sickly—pulsing with a faint amber…"
16"The image wavered and stuttered, as if the breach was struggling to remain open."
17"The leaf-shaped moonsilver dagger hummed, a near-inaudible frequency that set her teeth on edge."
18"It was a sound that had no business existing, a sound that clawed at her eardrums and her soul."
19"Then Nyx was dragging her back, cold hands under her arms, pulling her away from the table, away from the canyon, away from the clearing."
25.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags15
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"Nyx said, and their voice was hard"
1"They paused, their form sharpening again"
2"she said, and her voice was dry as autumn leaves, and it was also six other voices layered beneath it, speaking in unison"
85.48% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags13
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Nyx murmured (murmur)"
1"Nyx breathed (breathe)"
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.419
leniency0.839
rawRatio0.154
effectiveRatio0.129
74.5623%