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Run: 2026-04-27-01KQ7046NV4BG6Z1CT216ZMAV2
Run Details
Model:
Qwen 3.5 Plus (2026-04-20)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:
2m 22s
Cost:
$0.024593
Provider:
Alibaba
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
95.57%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
39.40%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
66.67%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
36.98%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
17.45%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
9.74%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
0.00%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
51.50%
Technical jargon density
(details)
30.41%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
74.7236%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Fantasy genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Rory shoved her shoulder against
the distortion, gritting her teeth as the air bucked like a wild thing.
The Veil shimmered, a translucent
membrane of grey light that tasted of ozone and old copper.
Her boots, scuffed trainers caked
with Richmond Park mud, scrabbled for purchase on the slick moss. "Push, Carter."
Nyx's voice drifted over her
shoulder, thin as wind through a crack in the wall.
Rory braced her legs and
drove forward. The resistance snapped. She tumbled through the threshold, hitting the ground rolling. The impact stole her breath.
The surface beneath her hands
wasn't grass. It
pulsed
. Warm,
rhythmic
thumps
vibrated
through her palms, syncing with the frantic hammering of her heart. "Stay down."
Isolde's tone carried the weight
of stone. "The Grove tests intent before it accepts flesh." Rory rolled onto her back, fingers scrabbling for the moonsilver dagger at her hip.
The leaf-shaped blade lay cold
against her skin, a reassuring anchor in the sudden shift of reality. Above, the sky wasn't sky.
It roiled in hues of
bruised violet and sickly gold, shifting like oil on water. No sun. No clouds.
Just a ceiling of churning
colour that made her eyes water. "Where are the trees?"
Rory gasped, sitting up
.
Her straight black hair stuck
to her cheeks with sweat. "Moving," Nyx whispered. Rory looked.
The ancient oaks surrounding the
clearing weren't static.
Their trunks twisted slowly, roots
writhing beneath the violet moss like sleeping serpents.
The standing stones, petrified stumps
of timber carved with runes that hurt to look at, shifted positions with a sound of grinding bone.
They were herding the intruders
inward.
Isolde stepped through the rift
behind them.
Her silver hair cascaded over
her shoulders, untouched by the wind that whipped Rory's strands. The seer placed a booted foot onto the pulsing moss. The flora did not bend. No indentation marred the
velvet
carpet.
She walked without leaving a
trace, her pale lavender eyes fixed on the centre of the grove. "Time bleeds here," Nyx said.
Their six-foot-two silhouette of living
shadow stretched thin, then coalesced into a humanoid shape. Faint violet eyes glowed from the darkness of their face. "Minutes stretch to hours. Hours rot into days. We must move before the sun of this place rises. Shade burns under that light." "The rift point," Rory said, pushing to her feet.
She checked the Heartstone pendant
hanging against her chest. The crimson gem
pulsed
against her sternum, warm and heavy. The silver chain felt hot, almost
searing
. "It's close. I can feel it pulling." "Feelings lie in the Fae lands." Isolde tilted her head, a gesture of avian curiosity. "The stone hungers. It calls to the tear in the Veil. You carry a key to a door that should remain locked, little carrier." Rory's hand drifted to the scar on her left wrist, the crescent moon shape a reflex from childhood. The skin around the scar flared white-hot.
She ignored Isolde, scanning the
clearing. Wildflowers bloomed everywhere, but their petals weren't petals.
They looked like fingers, splayed
and twitching. Indigo blooms with gold stamens hissed
softly
, releasing spores that glittered in the shifting light. The air smelled of honey and rot, sweet cloying sweetness masking the stench of decay. "We follow the heat," Rory stated. She didn't ask for permission. Her job was delivery.
She'd taken the package, she'd
make the drop.
She moved toward a gap
between two writhing oaks, her eyes locked on the faint amber shimmer bleeding from between the roots. Nyx flowed beside her, their form flickering between solid and incorporeal. "The geometry is wrong. My shadow stretches in two directions. There is no safe path here." "Pick the one that doesn't taste like fear," Rory shot back. They advanced. The ground sloped downward. The roots of the oaks grew thicker, forming archways that resembled rib cages. Through the gaps in the wood, Rory glimpsed movement. Shapes skittering just beyond perception. Something with too many joints and the sound of wet slapping flesh kept pace with them, vanishing whenever she turned her head. "Stop." Isolde's voice cut through the rhythm of the grove. Rory froze.
Her heart rate spiked, but
her face remained still. Cool head. Assess. Isolde stood before a cluster of flowers that mimicked human faces. The blooms turned toward her, petals parting to reveal throats of black
velvet
. "The path ends," Isolde murmured. Her lips did not move. The words arrived in Rory's mind, heavy and resonant. "The Veil tears here. But the tear draws blood. It demands a tithe." Rory stepped forward. The amber shimmer intensified. Through the distortion, the air warped. Heat radiated from the rift, carrying scents that made Rory's
stomach
lurch
. Roasting meat. Spiced wine. Iron. Laughter drifted from the other side, a
cacophony
of voices overlapping, too loud, too hungry. "Dymas," Nyx hissed.
Their form recoiled, pressing against
the trunk of an oak. "The court of Gluttony. Belphegor's domain leaks through. We cannot cross. The Shade cannot withstand the
weight
of such consumption." "We aren't crossing," Rory said. She reached for the Heartstone. The gem burned now, the heat
searing
her palm even through her glove. "We're sealing it. That's the job." Rory raised the pendant. The crimson light flared, matching the amber bleed from the rift. The laughter from the other side spiked in volume, turning frenzied. "Gold for the gatekeeper," Isolde intoned. Her lavender
eyes widened
, the slit pupils dilating. "You offer the stone. The stone is of Dymas. It does not seal. It invites." Rory hesitated. The logic clicked. A delivery from Gluttony used to open a door to Gluttony didn't close it. It announced arrival. The pendant wasn't a tool. It was a lure. Or a signal. "Rory."
Nyx whispered, the sound carrying an edge of urgency
. "The hand." Rory looked at the rift. A pale, elongated hand pressed against the distortion from the inside. Fingers tapered to needle points. The skin glistened with sauce that smelled of copper and rot. The hand grasped at the air, fingers straining against the
tension
of the Veil. "Pull it back," Rory ordered. She drew the Fae blade. The moonsilver hissed as it cleared the sheath, luminescence flaring in the
gloom
. "Isolde. Do something." "I am a seer,"
Isolde replied, her riddle sharp and cutting
. "I do not touch the weave. I only speak its knots. The knot tightens when you hold that stone. Let go, carrier. Or the mouth opens wide." The hand tore through the membrane. Flesh met air with a sound like wet
silk
ripping. Fingers, long and dripping, reached for Rory's throat. The amber light surged, expanding the rift. The heat hit Rory like a physical blow, scorching her cheeks. Rory lunged. She didn't retreat. She thrust the blade toward the wrist of the manifestation. The moonsilver bit into the pale flesh. The hand bubbled, black smoke hissing from the wound. The laughter from the rift turned to a shriek, a sound that
vibrated
in Rory's teeth and made her vision blur. The Heartstone reacted. It didn't just pull; it yanked. Rory's arm jerked forward against her will. The chain fused to her skin. The pendant dragged her toward the rift, drawing her into the heat. "Rory!" Nyx's shadow wrapped around her waist, cold as liquid nitrogen. The Shade anchored her, boots digging into the moss, but the Shade
flickered
, losing substance under the assault of the Dymas heat. "The stone binds you! It hungers!" Rory's boots slid forward. The moss turned to slurry. Her heels dug in, tearing up chunks of violet vegetation, but the force was too strong. The rift widened. Through the tear, a shape stepped forward. A figure draped in robes of feast-scars and gold. Eyes like burning coals fixed on the Heartstone. "My jewel returns," the voice boomed, shaking the leaves from the oaks. It sounded like a feast-hall turned inside out. Rich, greasy, overwhelming. "And brings a snack." Isolde raised a hand, lavender eyes glowing with frantic light. "The guest has arrived. The house wakes!" The figure extended a goblet. Liquids sloshed within, dark and viscous. The figure tipped the vessel. A arc of red fluid arced toward Rory, defying gravity, curving through the air. Rory dropped the blade. She couldn't fight the pull and the stream. She grabbed the Heartstone with her free hand, trying to pry the chain loose. Her fingers burned. The scar on her wrist screamed. Nyx solidified, drawing a blade of condensed darkness. The Shade leaped, intercepting the stream of fluid. Where the liquid struck the shadow-steel, the blade hissed and dissolved, smoke rising in thick plumes. Nyx staggered back, their form destabilising. "The fluid feeds on essence!"
Nyx cried, their whisper fracturing
. The ground beneath Rory's feet gave way. The moss collapsed into a sinkhole of amber light. She fell backward, the pull of the rift reclaiming her. The giant hand closed around her ankle. Fingers like iron bands squeezed. Rory kicked, her heel connecting with the pale wrist. The flesh
felt like cold dough
. It didn't bruise; it deformed and snapped back. "Rory!" Isolde's voice lost its riddle, turning to a command. "The blade! Cut the tether!" Rory's hand scrabbled for the moonsilver dagger. It lay in the slurry, glowing faintly. Her fingers brushed the hilt. The hand squeezed harder. Bones in her ankle ground together. Pain flared white-hot. Through the rift, the figure raised the goblet again. A second stream of liquid coiled in the air, aiming for Rory's face. The laughter resumed, triumphant and hungry. Rory grabbed the dagger. She swung it toward her neck, toward the chain. The figure smiled, rows of teeth
glistening
with sauce. "Cut the chain, little courier. See where you
truly
belong." Rory hesitated for a fraction of a second. The blade hovered over the silver link. The Heartstone
pulsed
, warm and seductive. The heat felt like home. The hunger felt like purpose. Then the liquid hit. Rory screamed as the fluid splashed across her shoulder. It didn't burn. It sank. It felt like ice water injected into her veins. Her arm went numb. Her vision greyed. She drove the blade down. Steel met silver. Sparks flew, bright blue. The chain held. The blade snapped. The hand yanked. Rory slid into the amber light. Isolde lunged, her fingers grazing Rory's sleeve, but the moss crumbled under the seer's
weight
. Nyx dissolved into smoke, caught in the vortex of the rift. The figure reached out, grabbing Rory by the throat. Fingers closed. Air cut off. The heat rushed into her lungs. The scent of roasting meat filled her nose. The world inverted. Rory hung suspended in the amber glow, suspended above a banquet table that stretched into infinity. Dishes of impossible grotesqueries steamed below. Souls huddled in the silver platters, their mouths sewn shut, eyes wide with terror. The figure leaned close, coals eyes burning. "Welcome to the table," the voice rumbled. "Sit. Eat. Or be eaten." A knife, serrated and dripping, fell from the figure's belt, landing point-up in the flesh of the table inches from Rory's face. The figure released her throat and pointed the goblet at a chair made of bone. "Choose." Rory's knees bent. The strength drained from her limbs. The Heartstone glowed, feeding on her fear. The knife twitched, sliding an inch closer. Rory's hand moved to her belt, grasping the broken hilt of the Fae blade. The shard hummed, reacting to the proximity of the demon. The figure paused. The coals
eyes narrowed
. "Oh?" The voice dropped to a purr. "You keep a tooth from the Fae Courts? How delightful." The figure leaned back, spreading arms wide. The robes shifted, revealing a chest carved with runes of consumption. "Let us see if the Fae steel bites deeper than your curiosity." The figure snapped fingers. The shadows under the table surged, rising as tendrils of black oil, shooting toward Rory. Rory raised the shard. The oil tendrils lashed. One tendril wrapped around her wrist, squeezing. Another whipped toward her eyes. Rory ducked. The shard caught the light. She thrust upward, aiming for the figure's throat. The figure laughed. The goblet tipped again. Rory lunged. The shard met the lip of the goblet. Impact. The world
shattered
into noise. Amber light exploded. The shard dissolved. The figure howled. Rory fell backward, caught by the tendrils, dragged toward the endless feast. A voice cut through the chaos, thin and sharp. "Rory, left!" Isolde's voice. From where? The tendrils loosened for a heartbeat. Rory twisted. The broken hilt of the blade remained in her hand. The shard
was gone
, melted by the goblet. But the hilt bore a small gem. A focus. Rory smashed the hilt against her own Heartstone. Glass cracked. Light bled. The rift screamed. The figure's
eyes widened
. "No! You break the bond!" Rory felt the chain snap. Not the metal. The link. Her body dropped. The floor of the table vanished. She fell into the void beneath the feast. Wind roared. The scent of rot faded, replaced by the sharp tang of ozone. A hand caught her wrist. Fingers like iron vice. Rory looked up. Nyx hung from a root of shadow, their form ragged, violet eyes blazing. The Shade held Rory's arm, their body stretching toward a tear in the darkness. "Pull,"
Nyx whispered, the voice straining
. "Or we both fall." Rory's boots scrabbled against nothing. Below, the banquet stretched into an abyss of screaming faces and reaching hands. The figure
loomed
above, face contorted in rage, reaching down with claws extended. "Rory!" Isolde's voice
echoed
from far away. "The wedge! Use the wedge!" Rory reached into her pocket. Her fingers closed around a small object. A piece of iron. Cold. Plain. From the world of men. From the churchyard. She jammed the iron into the figure's reaching fingers. The demon shrieked. Smoke erupted. The hand recoiled. Nyx heaved. Rory swung upward, boots finding purchase on a root of shadow. She hauled herself onto the root beside the Shade. The rift
began to
close. Amber light
flickered
. The figure's face pressed against the shrinking gap, lips moving in a silent curse. Rory grabbed the Heartstone. The gem cracked. Dark fluid leaked from the fissure. Nyx looked at the stone. "It's broken. The debt remains." Rory looked at the closing rift. At the demon's face. At the iron in her hand, now blackened. "The debt is mine," Rory said. Her voice steadied. The cool head returned. The delivery girl who didn't leave packages unfinished. The rift snapped shut. Darkness. Then moss. Rory lay on her back. Violet moss. The grove. Silence. Isolde knelt beside her. Lavender eyes glowing. "You returned," the seer murmured. "But a piece of you stays in the amber. The hunger has your scent now." Rory sat up. Her ankle
throbbed
. Blue bruises marked the skin. The scar on her wrist wept dark blood. "Nyx?" Rory looked around. The Shade coalesced from the shadows, form
wavering
. Violet eyes dim. "We survived. Barely. But look." Nyx pointed toward the stand stones. The runes glowed. Amber light
pulsed
within the wood. The trees leaned inward. The roots moved faster. "The Grove rejects the intruder," Nyx whispered. "It knows you carry the mark of Gluttony." Isolde stood, turning toward the standing stones. Her silver hair whipped in a wind that didn't touch the rest of the grove. "The Veil held," the seer said. Her voice carried no comfort. "But the guest will return. And this time, the door will not wait for a key." The oaks groaned. The roots erupted from the soil, lashing toward Rory. Vines thick as pythons uncurled from the canopy, dropping thorns the size of daggers. Rory scrambled to her feet. Broken hilt in hand. No blade. No chain. Nyx solidified, drawing a weapon of pure shadow. "Run, Carter. The Grove hunts." Rory looked at the encroaching roots. At Isolde, who stood motionless, riddle on her lips. At the darkening sky. "Where?" Rory shouted. Isolde smiled. A sad, terrible smile. "Where the hunger cannot follow. To the edge. Where the world ends and the true dark begins." A thorn embedded in the moss inches from Rory's boot. The wood hissed. Rory turned and sprinted. Nyx flowed beside her. Isolde walked, leaving no footprints, moving at Rory's pace without effort. The roots pursued. The grove roared. In the distance, a light appeared. Pale. Blue. The edge. Rory ran. The iron burned in her pocket. The scar wept blood. The grove shrieked behind them, a sound of betrayed appetite. Rory didn't look back. She couldn't. The hunger pulled at her back, tugging at her shadow, whispering promises of feasts. "Keep moving,"
Nyx whispered, pace matching hers
. "The edge is a lie. But the lie may save us." Roots whipped toward Rory's legs. She dodged, sliding under a sweeping vine. The thorns grazed her cheek, drawing blood. Rory tasted the blood. It tasted wrong. Sweet. Rich. She gagged, spitting red. The blue light grew brighter. The air cooled. The smell of rot faded, replaced by the scent of static and cold stone. Rory reached the boundary. A wall of blue fire stood between the grove and the void. "Jump," Isolde said. Her voice calm
amidst
the chaos. "Or be fed to the roots." Rory looked at the fire. Looked at the roots inches from her ankles. "Into the fire?" Rory asked. "Through the fire," Nyx corrected. "If you burn, you were never meant to survive the solstice." The roots snapped. One vine caught Rory's ankle. Thorns bit deep. Rory screamed, slashing at the vine with the broken hilt. The iron seared the flesh of the plant. The vine recoiled, smoking. Rory threw herself at the blue fire. Heat hit her. Not the heat of the rift. Cold fire. Burning ice. She passed through. Sound vanished. Sight greyed. Rory fell. She hit stone. Hard. Concrete. Wet. The air smelled of diesel and rain. Rory rolled, gasping. Grey sky overhead. Rain fell, cold and real. Brick walls. A dead end. An alley. London. Rory pushed herself up. Her body ached. The scar on her wrist
pulsed
. The iron in her pocket
vibrated
. Nyx materialised beside her, form dim. "We crossed. Back to Earth." Isolde stood at the end of the alley. Or she didn't. Rory blinked. The seer
flickered
, half in shadow, half in the alley. "The Veil holds, little carrier,"
Isolde whispered, her voice fading
. "For now. But the mark grows. Belphegor knows your face. And hunger always finds a way back to the table." Isolde smiled, then dissolved into mist, sucked back toward the rift point. Rory leaned against the brick wall. Rain soaked her clothes. Distant sirens wailed. Nyx crouched, examining the ground. "Rory. Look." Rory turned. On the wet pavement, a pool of water
shimmered
. But the reflection wasn't the alley. The reflection showed a banquet hall. The figure sat at the head of the table, raising a goblet. The figure looked up. Eyes of coal burned into the reflection. The figure raised a hand, pointing directly at Rory. Mouth moving. Rory leaned closer. "Run," the reflection mouthed. "I am already here." Rory straightened. Water dripped from her hair. Her hand gripped the broken hilt until her
knuckles turned white
. Footsteps
echoed
at the mouth of the alley. Heavy. Deliberate. The sound of wet leather on stone. Rory looked up. A shadow fell across the alley entrance. Too tall. Too still. The shape stepped into the light of a flickering streetlamp. It wore human clothes. A long coat. A hat. But the face was smooth. Featureless. Except for a mouth. A mouth filled with rows of needle teeth. The mouth opened. Sound came out. Not speech. The sound of chewing. The creature stepped forward. The streetlamp exploded. Darkness. Rory stood in the
gloom
. Rain hissed. "Time to run," Nyx whispered, voice right by her ear. Rory turned and bolted. The creature shrieked, a sound of rending metal, andlunged. Claws raked the brick wall where Rory's head had been a second before. Rory hit the main street. Cars swerved. Horns blared. Pedestrians screamed and scattered. Rory didn't stop. She ran. Behind her, the creature vaulted over a taxi, landing with a crash of glass. Rory checked the iron in her pocket. It burned hot. The hunt had begun.
created_at
"2026-04-27T08:15:37.673Z"
4/27/2026, 8:15:37 AM
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latency
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generation_time
141435
tokens_prompt
5338
tokens_completion
9728
native_tokens_prompt
5244
native_tokens_completion
9373
native_tokens_completion_images
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native_tokens_reasoning
4396
native_tokens_cached
0
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num_input_audio_prompt
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num_media_completion
0
num_search_results
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num_fetches
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web_search_engine
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origin
"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byok
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finish_reason
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native_finish_reason
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provider_responses
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is_byok
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latency
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model_permaslug
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provider_name
"Alibaba"
status
200
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provider_name
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Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
37
adverbTagCount
2
adverbTags
0
"Nyx's shadow wrapped around [around]"
1
"Rory looked around [around]"
dialogueSentences
77
tagDensity
0.481
leniency
0.961
rawRatio
0.054
effectiveRatio
0.052
95.57%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
3383
totalAiIsmAdverbs
3
found
0
adverb
"slowly"
count
1
1
adverb
"softly"
count
1
2
adverb
"truly"
count
1
highlights
0
"slowly"
1
"softly"
2
"truly"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
39.40%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
3383
totalAiIsms
41
found
0
word
"shimmered"
count
2
1
word
"pulsed"
count
5
2
word
"rhythmic"
count
1
3
word
"vibrated"
count
3
4
word
"carried the weight"
count
1
5
word
"churning"
count
1
6
word
"velvet"
count
2
7
word
"searing"
count
2
8
word
"scanning"
count
1
9
word
"stomach"
count
1
10
word
"lurch"
count
1
11
word
"cacophony"
count
1
12
word
"weight"
count
2
13
word
"tension"
count
1
14
word
"gloom"
count
2
15
word
"silk"
count
1
16
word
"flickered"
count
3
17
word
"whisper"
count
1
18
word
"glistening"
count
1
19
word
"shattered"
count
1
20
word
"loomed"
count
1
21
word
"echoed"
count
2
22
word
"silence"
count
1
23
word
"throbbed"
count
1
24
word
"wavering"
count
1
25
word
"amidst"
count
1
26
word
"footsteps"
count
1
highlights
0
"shimmered"
1
"pulsed"
2
"rhythmic"
3
"vibrated"
4
"carried the weight"
5
"churning"
6
"velvet"
7
"searing"
8
"scanning"
9
"stomach"
10
"lurch"
11
"cacophony"
12
"weight"
13
"tension"
14
"gloom"
15
"silk"
16
"flickered"
17
"whisper"
18
"glistening"
19
"shattered"
20
"loomed"
21
"echoed"
22
"silence"
23
"throbbed"
24
"wavering"
25
"amidst"
26
"footsteps"
66.67%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
4
maxInWindow
2
found
0
label
"eyes widened/narrowed"
count
3
1
label
"knuckles turned white"
count
1
highlights
0
"eyes widened"
1
"eyes narrowed"
2
"knuckles turned white"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
2
narrationSentences
468
matches
0
"e with terror"
1
"d in rage"
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
1
narrationSentences
468
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
0
"began to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
507
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
repeatedSegmentCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
27
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
3383
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
19
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
181
wordCount
2909
uniqueNames
16
maxNameDensity
3.23
worstName
"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity
6
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Veil
2
Richmond
1
Park
1
Rory
94
Heartstone
9
Isolde
23
Gluttony
2
Fae
2
Shade
6
Dymas
1
Roots
1
Nyx
24
Through
4
Fingers
5
Amber
3
Rain
3
persons
0
"Veil"
1
"Rory"
2
"Heartstone"
3
"Isolde"
4
"Shade"
5
"Roots"
6
"Nyx"
7
"Fingers"
8
"Amber"
9
"Rain"
places
0
"Richmond"
1
"Park"
globalScore
0
windowScore
0
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
215
glossingSentenceCount
4
matches
0
"looked like fingers, splayed and twitchin"
1
"sounded like a feast-hall turned inside ou"
2
"felt like cold dough"
3
"felt like ice water injected into her v"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
0
per1kWords
0
wordCount
3383
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
0
totalSentences
507
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
187
mean
18.09
std
13.96
cv
0.772
sampleLengths
0
50
1
17
2
48
3
17
4
66
5
18
6
3
7
52
8
60
9
52
10
42
11
39
12
76
13
45
14
27
15
11
16
55
17
10
18
14
19
24
20
32
21
45
22
33
23
29
24
26
25
29
26
34
27
12
28
46
29
26
30
38
31
42
32
52
33
34
34
39
35
52
36
27
37
17
38
30
39
35
40
38
41
10
42
38
43
23
44
15
45
32
46
28
47
13
48
19
49
31
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
1
totalSentences
468
matches
0
"was gone"
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
1
totalVerbs
579
matches
0
"were herding"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
2
flaggedSentences
2
totalSentences
507
ratio
0.004
matches
0
"It didn't just pull; it yanked."
1
"It didn't bruise; it deformed and snapped back."
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
2918
adjectiveStacks
1
stackExamples
0
"lay cold against her"
adverbCount
46
adverbRatio
0.015764222069910898
lyAdverbCount
5
lyAdverbRatio
0.0017135023989033585
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
507
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
507
mean
6.67
std
4.56
cv
0.684
sampleLengths
0
18
1
16
2
16
3
17
4
7
5
3
6
9
7
5
8
7
9
2
10
15
11
9
12
8
13
14
14
17
15
5
16
15
17
2
18
2
19
11
20
8
21
10
22
3
23
2
24
8
25
13
26
23
27
6
28
7
29
15
30
10
31
5
32
6
33
17
34
5
35
14
36
10
37
23
38
9
39
9
40
10
41
7
42
7
43
15
44
24
45
18
46
7
47
6
48
8
49
7
36.98%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
66
diversityRatio
0.2465483234714004
totalSentences
507
uniqueOpeners
125
17.45%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
2
totalSentences
382
matches
0
"Just a ceiling of churning"
1
"Then the liquid hit."
ratio
0.005
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
62
totalSentences
382
matches
0
"Her boots, scuffed trainers caked"
1
"She tumbled through the threshold,"
2
"It roiled in hues of"
3
"Her straight black hair stuck"
4
"Their trunks twisted slowly, roots"
5
"They were herding the intruders"
6
"Her silver hair cascaded over"
7
"She walked without leaving a"
8
"Their six-foot-two silhouette of living"
9
"She checked the Heartstone pendant"
10
"She ignored Isolde, scanning the"
11
"They looked like fingers, splayed"
12
"She didn't ask for permission."
13
"Her job was delivery."
14
"She'd taken the package, she'd"
15
"She moved toward a gap"
16
"Her heart rate spiked, but"
17
"Her lips did not move."
18
"Their form recoiled, pressing against"
19
"She reached for the Heartstone."
ratio
0.162
9.74%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
344
totalSentences
382
matches
0
"Rory shoved her shoulder against"
1
"The Veil shimmered, a translucent"
2
"Her boots, scuffed trainers caked"
3
"Nyx's voice drifted over her"
4
"Rory braced her legs and"
5
"The resistance snapped."
6
"She tumbled through the threshold,"
7
"The impact stole her breath."
8
"The surface beneath her hands"
9
"Isolde's tone carried the weight"
10
"Rory rolled onto her back,"
11
"The leaf-shaped blade lay cold"
12
"It roiled in hues of"
13
"Rory gasped, sitting up"
14
"Her straight black hair stuck"
15
"The ancient oaks surrounding the"
16
"Their trunks twisted slowly, roots"
17
"The standing stones, petrified stumps"
18
"They were herding the intruders"
19
"Isolde stepped through the rift"
ratio
0.901
0.00%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
0
totalSentences
382
matches
(empty)
ratio
0
51.50%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
86
technicalSentenceCount
11
matches
0
"The Veil shimmered, a translucent membrane of grey light that tasted of ozone and old copper."
1
"Just a ceiling of churning colour that made her eyes water."
2
"The standing stones, petrified stumps of timber carved with runes that hurt to look at, shifted positions with a sound of grinding bone."
3
"Her silver hair cascaded over her shoulders, untouched by the wind that whipped Rory's strands."
4
"Indigo blooms with gold stamens hissed softly, releasing spores that glittered in the shifting light."
5
"Isolde stood before a cluster of flowers that mimicked human faces."
6
"Heat radiated from the rift, carrying scents that made Rory's stomach lurch."
7
"The laughter from the rift turned to a shriek, a sound that vibrated in Rory's teeth and made her vision blur."
8
"The Shade anchored her, boots digging into the moss, but the Shade flickered, losing substance under the assault of the Dymas heat."
9
"Rory hung suspended in the amber glow, suspended above a banquet table that stretched into infinity."
10
"A knife, serrated and dripping, fell from the figure's belt, landing point-up in the flesh of the table inches from Rory's face."
30.41%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
37
uselessAdditionCount
7
matches
0
"Isolde tilted, a gesture of avian curiosity"
1
"Nyx whispered, the sound carrying an edge of urgency"
2
"Isolde replied, her riddle sharp and cutting"
3
"Nyx cried, their whisper fracturing"
4
"Nyx whispered, the voice straining"
5
"Nyx whispered, pace matching hers"
6
"Isolde whispered, her voice fading"
0.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
25
fancyCount
17
fancyTags
0
"Rory gasped (gasp)"
1
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
2
"Rory stated (state)"
3
"Isolde murmured (murmur)"
4
"Nyx hissed (hiss)"
5
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
6
"Rory ordered (order)"
7
"Nyx cried (cry)"
8
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
9
"the seer murmured (murmur)"
10
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
11
"Rory shouted (shout)"
12
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
13
"Nyx corrected (correct)"
14
"Isolde whispered (whisper)"
15
"the reflection mouthed (mouth)"
16
"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences
77
tagDensity
0.325
leniency
0.649
rawRatio
0.68
effectiveRatio
0.442
74.7236%