Run: 2026-05-01-01KQHQGDPTNCX6FZADHA81GE8J

Run Details

Duration:
1m 14s
Cost:
$0.012734
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain slashed across the streets of Soho like a blade, turning the uneven pavements into treacherous mirrors that reflected the sickly glow of the Raven's Nest's green neon sign. Detective Harlow Quinn burst from the bar's heavy wooden door, her breath already ragged, closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair plastered to her scalp. The worn leather watch on her left wrist dug into her skin as she pumped her arms, sharp jaw clenched against the downpour. Eighteen years on the force had taught her to read a room in seconds, and the moment that hooded figure had bolted from the corner table—knocking over a pint that smelled far too much like burnt copper and herbs—she knew she had her suspect. "Met Police!" she shouted, voice cutting through the storm. "Stop!" The man didn't. He was fast, agile, dodging between clusters of late-night revelers stumbling out of pubs. Quinn's boots pounded the wet concrete, military precision in every stride despite the water soaking through her coat. The Raven's Nest's walls, plastered with those faded maps and black-and-white photographs of forgotten London alleys, had yielded nothing but lies from the bartender. Until she'd mentioned the clique. Until the hooded man's head had snapped up, revealing a face twisted with something that wasn't quite fear—more like a cornered animal's calculation. Now he was leading her on a chase that felt too deliberate, weaving north through the rain-drenched streets. Quinn's brown eyes narrowed against the sting of water, her mind flashing unbidden to DS Morris three years ago. The partner who'd vanished into an alley much like this one, only to be found days later with wounds no blade could explain and eyes burned from the inside out. Unexplained circumstances, the report had called it. Supernatural, her gut had whispered ever since, though she'd buried that word deep. She wouldn't lose another thread to whatever lurked beneath the city. The suspect cut left onto Charing Cross Road, his dark silhouette leaping over a sprawled drunk. Quinn followed, lungs burning, the cold rain seeping into her collar and tracing icy fingers down her spine. Horns blared as he darted across traffic, a black cab swerving with a screech that sent spray exploding across her legs. She didn't break stride. The man's gait was off—favoring his left side, as if something hidden beneath his jacket was pulling at him. A wound? A package? Her instincts screamed that this connected to the string of odd incidents plaguing her cases: the unexplained injuries, the whispers of a black market where impossible things were bought and sold. Camden waited ahead, its gothic spires and market stalls looming like sentinels in the night. The streets narrowed, alive with the rattle of overflowing gutters and the distant thump of music from hidden clubs. The suspect's pace never faltered, even as the rain intensified into a roaring curtain. Quinn's thighs ached, but she pushed harder, closing the gap by inches. She could hear his labored breathing now, ragged over the storm. He glanced back once, and in the flash of a streetlamp she caught a glimpse of pale skin and eyes too wide, too reflective. He veered sharply down a side street lined with shuttered vintage shops, their graffiti-tagged doors weeping rivulets of black. Quinn's watch caught on her sleeve as she rounded the corner, the leather strap slick. The entrance to the old Camden Town Underground station yawned ahead—an abandoned mouth sealed years ago, now overgrown with weeds that the rain had beaten flat. But the metal grate was ajar, just enough. The suspect slipped through without slowing, vanishing into the darkness below. Quinn skidded to a halt at the threshold, chest heaving. Water streamed down her face, blurring her vision. This wasn't standard procedure. No backup, no warrant, just her and the echo of Morris's final transmission crackling in her memory—*It's not what you think, Harlow. It's underneath.* The abandoned Tube station. Whispers in her department had mentioned it as a hub for the unexplainable, a place where the city's underbelly metastasized into something worse. The Veil Market, they called it in the anonymous tips that landed on her desk. It moved every full moon, required some kind of token for entry. Bone, one informant had muttered before clamming up. She should call it in. She should wait. But the suspect was getting away, and with him, answers about the clique—the loose network of dealers, fixers, and oddities she'd been tracking for months. Criminal activity, she'd labeled it. But the truth gnawed deeper: rituals in back alleys, substances that glowed under blacklight, wounds that healed in hours or killed in minutes. A low groan echoed from below, not quite human. Quinn's hand hovered near her holster. The rain hammered the pavement behind her, isolating her in a cocoon of decision. Unfamiliar territory. Dangerous. The kind that had swallowed Morris whole. Her sharp jaw tightened. Forty-one years old, decorated, and still chasing ghosts because no one else would. "To hell with it," she muttered, voice swallowed by the storm. She pushed through the grate, descending a rusted service ladder into the damp bowels of the station. The air shifted immediately—thicker, laced with incense and something metallic, like blood and ozone. Her boots hit cracked tile, and she drew her flashlight, keeping it low. The platform stretched ahead, but it wasn't derelict. Not anymore. Makeshift stalls had been erected along the tracks where trains no longer ran, their canvas awnings patched with what looked like treated animal hide. Lanterns swung from exposed wiring, casting flickering shadows that danced across faces both human and... not. A woman with iridescent scales along her neck haggled over a vial of shimmering liquid. A man—no, something with too many joints—sold maps that seemed to writhe on their own. The Veil Market. She'd found it. Quinn killed the flashlight and moved on instinct, hugging the curved tunnel wall. Her military bearing kept her steps silent despite the puddles. The bone token requirement became clear quickly: at a makeshift checkpoint fashioned from old turnstiles, a burly figure with a scarred face inspected small ivory-colored discs carved with runes. The suspect had one. She watched him flash it, the bone glinting under lantern light, before being waved through. He clutched his side now, blood seeping dark against his jacket. Not just any wound, then. She scanned the ground, pulse thundering in her ears. A discarded token lay half-submerged in a puddle near the checkpoint—perhaps dropped in haste. It felt unnaturally cold in her palm, etched with a symbol that made her stomach twist. She didn't believe in any of this. Not yet. But belief didn't matter when the evidence stared back with unblinking eyes. Slipping the token into her pocket, she approached the checkpoint. The guard eyed her salt-and-pepper hair, her soaked civilian clothes that didn't quite hide the detective's edge in her posture. "Business?" "Same as his," she said, jerking her chin toward the suspect's retreating form. Her voice stayed level, brown eyes steady. The token passed inspection with a grunt, though the guard's gaze lingered too long on her watch, as if it marked her as an outsider. She was through. The market unfolded like a fever dream. Vendors hawked enchanted goods from rickety tables: crystals pulsing with inner light, banned alchemical substances sealed in lead vials, information scribbled on parchment that smelled of grave dirt. Voices hissed in languages that twisted the ear—half English, half something older. Quinn kept her head down, but her eyes cataloged everything. A stall offered "truth serum—guaranteed to reveal your enemy's true face." Another dealt in feathers that bled when touched. This was what her cases had been circling. The criminal undercurrent wasn't drugs or guns. It was this. Supernatural contraband bleeding into her city. The suspect had slowed, pain etching his movements. He ducked behind a cluster of stalls into what passed for a medical alcove—curtained off with heavy velvet that reeked of antiseptic and sage. Quinn crept closer, using the crowd as cover. A familiar face waited there, olive-skinned and composed despite the chaos. Tomás Herrera. She recognized him from surveillance photos: the former paramedic, 29, short curly dark brown hair, Saint Christopher medallion glinting against his chest. Disgraced NHS license, now providing off-the-books care to exactly the kind of patients who frequented places like this. His scar, a thin line along his left forearm from some old knife attack, showed as he rolled up his sleeves. "You shouldn't have come here wounded," Tomás was saying, his Spanish accent soft but urgent. He guided the suspect onto a makeshift cot, warm brown eyes assessing the injury with clinical speed. "The clique's heat is rising. That detective's been circling the Nest for weeks." Quinn's blood ran colder than the rain. They knew about her. The suspect groaned as Tomás peeled back the jacket, revealing a gash that wasn't bleeding normally—it shimmered, as if threaded with silver filaments. "Couldn't shake her. She saw me take the package from Silas." Tomás worked efficiently, applying a poultice that smoked on contact. "This will stabilize you, but you need to lie low. The Veil moves again at the next full moon. Until then, no more runs to the Raven's Nest." His medallion swung as he bent closer, murmuring words that weren't quite medical—low, rhythmic, like a prayer in an unknown tongue. The wound began to knit before Quinn's eyes. She stepped forward, service weapon half-drawn. "Metropolitan Police. Tomás Herrera, you're under arrest for aiding and abetting criminal enterprise. And you—" She leveled the gun at the suspect. "Don't move." The market around them didn't erupt into panic. Instead, a unnatural hush fell, eyes turning toward her from every shadow. Tomás looked up slowly, his expression calm but edged with resignation. The suspect tried to rise, but the paramedic pressed him back down with a firm hand. "Detective Quinn," Tomás said, voice carrying over the sudden quiet. "You don't know what you're interrupting. That wound? It's from a binding gone wrong. If I don't finish, he'll be dead by morning. And whatever's hunting him will keep coming. For all of us." Rainwater dripped from her hair onto the platform, mixing with strange powders scattered on the tile. Her grip on the pistol stayed steady, but her mind reeled. The silver threads in the wound pulsed like living wire. Morris's death had looked like this—unexplainable filaments in the autopsy they couldn't identify. She had chased this rabbit hole for years, and now it gaped open beneath Camden, filled with monsters and medics who spoke like they knew her name. The decision hung in the damp air. Arrest them both, drag them topside, and watch her case dissolve in paperwork and disbelief. Or listen. Step deeper into the territory that had already claimed her partner. Her sharp jaw worked. The leather watch ticked on her wrist, a mundane anchor in the madness. Quinn lowered the weapon a fraction, not holstering it but signaling a truce—for now. "Talk fast, Herrera. And if this is a trap, I'll make sure the next wound you treat is your own." Tomás met her gaze, the Saint Christopher medallion catching the lantern light like a warning or a promise. Around them, the Veil Market resumed its murmur, but the tension coiled tighter, the storm above rumbling through unseen vents. Quinn had crossed the threshold. There was no going back to the rain-slick streets without answers—or without becoming part of whatever nightmare the clique was unraveling in the dark. The suspect exhaled sharply as the poultice took hold, his unnatural wound dimming. Tomás nodded once, as if sealing a pact. "Then you'd better sit down, Detective. The full story's longer than the chase that brought you here. And it starts with what really happened to your partner three years ago." Quinn's brown eyes hardened, but she didn't retreat. The underground market pulsed around her, alive with forbidden possibilities, and for the first time in years, the antagonist felt the weight of becoming the pursued in a game she was only beginning to understand. The rain continued to fall above, oblivious, while below, secrets bled into the open like the silver in the suspect's veins. (Word count: 1,478)
created_at"2026-05-01T12:16:39.647Z" 5/1/2026, 12:16:39 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4.20-20260309"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency28526
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time73458
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion3945
native_tokens_prompt907
native_tokens_completion4667
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning2105
native_tokens_cached64
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.01273405
router(null)
provider_responses
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endpoint_id"3ecee37f-b217-4093-87fb-aaf0afe307af"
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is_byokfalse
latency246
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4.20-20260309"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
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request_id"req-1777637799-9L2ySikMQPlzRaaTOwku"
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api_type"completions"
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags8
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences16
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
87.80% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2050
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"sharply"
count2
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
3
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"sharply"
1"quickly"
2"slowly"
3"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
31.71% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2050
totalAiIsms28
found
0
word"treacherous"
count1
1
word"jaw clenched"
count1
2
word"tracing"
count1
3
word"down her spine"
count1
4
word"looming"
count1
5
word"sentinels"
count1
6
word"roaring"
count1
7
word"standard"
count1
8
word"echo"
count1
9
word"echoed"
count1
10
word"glinting"
count2
11
word"scanned"
count1
12
word"pulse"
count1
13
word"etched"
count1
14
word"stomach"
count1
15
word"grave"
count1
16
word"cataloged"
count1
17
word"etching"
count1
18
word"velvet"
count1
19
word"familiar"
count1
20
word"shimmered"
count1
21
word"rhythmic"
count1
22
word"pulsed"
count2
23
word"tension"
count1
24
word"unraveling"
count1
25
word"weight"
count1
highlights
0"treacherous"
1"jaw clenched"
2"tracing"
3"down her spine"
4"looming"
5"sentinels"
6"roaring"
7"standard"
8"echo"
9"echoed"
10"glinting"
11"scanned"
12"pulse"
13"etched"
14"stomach"
15"grave"
16"cataloged"
17"etching"
18"velvet"
19"familiar"
20"shimmered"
21"rhythmic"
22"pulsed"
23"tension"
24"unraveling"
25"weight"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches3
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"blood ran cold"
count1
1
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
2
label"jaw/fists clenched"
count1
highlights
0"blood ran cold"
1"eyes narrowed"
2"jaw clenched"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences144
matches(empty)
63.49% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount5
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences144
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"think"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
2"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences152
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen50
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans1
markdownWords8
totalWords2032
ratio0.004
matches
0"It's not what you think, Harlow. It's underneath."
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"The Veil Market, they called it in the anonymous tips that landed on her desk."
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions59
wordCount1852
uniqueNames23
maxNameDensity0.86
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Tomás"
discoveredNames
Soho1
Raven2
Nest2
Harlow2
Quinn16
London1
Morris4
Charing1
Cross1
Road1
Camden3
Town1
Underground1
Tube1
Veil3
Market3
English1
Herrera1
Saint2
Christopher2
Spanish1
Tomás8
Rainwater1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Harlow"
3"Quinn"
4"Morris"
5"Market"
6"Herrera"
7"Saint"
8"Christopher"
9"Tomás"
10"Rainwater"
places
0"Soho"
1"London"
2"Charing"
3"Cross"
4"Road"
5"Camden"
6"Town"
7"Underground"
globalScore1
windowScore0.833
0.43% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences117
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"quite fear—more like a cornered animal's calculation"
1"not quite human"
2"looked like treated animal hide"
3"maps that seemed to writhe on their own"
4"quite hide the detective's edge in her posture"
5"looked like this—unexplainable filaments"
6"as if sealing a pact"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.492
wordCount2032
matches
0"not holstering it but signaling a truce"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences152
matches
0"buried that word"
1"screamed that this"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs36
mean56.44
std36.3
cv0.643
sampleLengths
0118
110
287
398
4113
595
679
7108
88
953
1056
1111
12124
136
1487
1560
1631
1745
183
19100
20114
2145
2211
2334
2467
2530
2647
2744
2877
2935
3031
3120
3267
3351
3464
353
97.95% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences144
matches
0"were bought"
1"been erected"
2"being waved"
81.31% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount6
totalVerbs337
matches
0"was leading"
1"was pulling"
2"was saying"
3"wasn't bleeding"
4"was unraveling"
5"was only beginning"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount18
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences16
totalSentences152
ratio0.105
matches
0"Eighteen years on the force had taught her to read a room in seconds, and the moment that hooded figure had bolted from the corner table—knocking over a pint that smelled far too much like burnt copper and herbs—she knew she had her suspect."
1"Until the hooded man's head had snapped up, revealing a face twisted with something that wasn't quite fear—more like a cornered animal's calculation."
2"The man's gait was off—favoring his left side, as if something hidden beneath his jacket was pulling at him."
3"The entrance to the old Camden Town Underground station yawned ahead—an abandoned mouth sealed years ago, now overgrown with weeds that the rain had beaten flat."
4"No backup, no warrant, just her and the echo of Morris's final transmission crackling in her memory—*It's not what you think, Harlow."
5"But the suspect was getting away, and with him, answers about the clique—the loose network of dealers, fixers, and oddities she'd been tracking for months."
6"The air shifted immediately—thicker, laced with incense and something metallic, like blood and ozone."
7"A man—no, something with too many joints—sold maps that seemed to writhe on their own."
8"A discarded token lay half-submerged in a puddle near the checkpoint—perhaps dropped in haste."
9"Voices hissed in languages that twisted the ear—half English, half something older."
10"He ducked behind a cluster of stalls into what passed for a medical alcove—curtained off with heavy velvet that reeked of antiseptic and sage."
11"The suspect groaned as Tomás peeled back the jacket, revealing a gash that wasn't bleeding normally—it shimmered, as if threaded with silver filaments."
12"\"This will stabilize you, but you need to lie low. The Veil moves again at the next full moon. Until then, no more runs to the Raven's Nest.\" His medallion swung as he bent closer, murmuring words that weren't quite medical—low, rhythmic, like a prayer in an unknown tongue."
13"Morris's death had looked like this—unexplainable filaments in the autopsy they couldn't identify."
14"Quinn lowered the weapon a fraction, not holstering it but signaling a truce—for now."
15"There was no going back to the rain-slick streets without answers—or without becoming part of whatever nightmare the clique was unraveling in the dark."
88.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1886
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"small ivory-colored discs"
1"medical—low, rhythmic, like"
adverbCount49
adverbRatio0.025980911983032873
lyAdverbCount16
lyAdverbRatio0.008483563096500531
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences152
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences152
mean13.37
std8.74
cv0.654
sampleLengths
029
122
223
344
49
51
63
714
818
924
105
1123
1218
1319
1430
157
1613
1711
1816
1918
2021
214
2219
232
242
2531
2615
2719
2814
2912
3011
3124
3219
3315
3426
358
3611
3710
388
394
4022
416
4223
4315
4412
458
465
473
4825
495
56.14% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats8
diversityRatio0.3684210526315789
totalSentences152
uniqueOpeners56
24.69% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences135
matches
0"Instead, a unnatural hush fell,"
ratio0.007
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount38
totalSentences135
matches
0"she shouted, voice cutting through"
1"He was fast, agile, dodging"
2"She wouldn't lose another thread"
3"She didn't break stride."
4"Her instincts screamed that this"
5"She could hear his labored"
6"He glanced back once, and"
7"He veered sharply down a"
8"It's underneath.* The abandoned Tube"
9"It moved every full moon,"
10"She should call it in."
11"She should wait."
12"Her sharp jaw tightened."
13"she muttered, voice swallowed by"
14"She pushed through the grate,"
15"Her boots hit cracked tile,"
16"She'd found it."
17"Her military bearing kept her"
18"She watched him flash it,"
19"He clutched his side now,"
ratio0.281
48.89% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount111
totalSentences135
matches
0"Rain slashed across the streets"
1"Detective Harlow Quinn burst from"
2"The worn leather watch on"
3"she shouted, voice cutting through"
4"The man didn't."
5"He was fast, agile, dodging"
6"Quinn's boots pounded the wet"
7"The Raven's Nest's walls, plastered"
8"Quinn's brown eyes narrowed against"
9"The partner who'd vanished into"
10"She wouldn't lose another thread"
11"The suspect cut left onto"
12"Quinn followed, lungs burning, the"
13"Horns blared as he darted"
14"She didn't break stride."
15"The man's gait was off—favoring"
16"Her instincts screamed that this"
17"Camden waited ahead, its gothic"
18"The streets narrowed, alive with"
19"The suspect's pace never faltered,"
ratio0.822
37.04% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences135
matches
0"Now he was leading her"
ratio0.007
15.31% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences84
technicalSentenceCount15
matches
0"Rain slashed across the streets of Soho like a blade, turning the uneven pavements into treacherous mirrors that reflected the sickly glow of the Raven's Nest's…"
1"Eighteen years on the force had taught her to read a room in seconds, and the moment that hooded figure had bolted from the corner table—knocking over a pint th…"
2"Until the hooded man's head had snapped up, revealing a face twisted with something that wasn't quite fear—more like a cornered animal's calculation."
3"Now he was leading her on a chase that felt too deliberate, weaving north through the rain-drenched streets."
4"Horns blared as he darted across traffic, a black cab swerving with a screech that sent spray exploding across her legs."
5"The man's gait was off—favoring his left side, as if something hidden beneath his jacket was pulling at him."
6"The Veil Market, they called it in the anonymous tips that landed on her desk."
7"But the truth gnawed deeper: rituals in back alleys, substances that glowed under blacklight, wounds that healed in hours or killed in minutes."
8"It felt unnaturally cold in her palm, etched with a symbol that made her stomach twist."
9"The guard eyed her salt-and-pepper hair, her soaked civilian clothes that didn't quite hide the detective's edge in her posture."
10"Vendors hawked enchanted goods from rickety tables: crystals pulsing with inner light, banned alchemical substances sealed in lead vials, information scribbled …"
11"Voices hissed in languages that twisted the ear—half English, half something older."
12"He ducked behind a cluster of stalls into what passed for a medical alcove—curtained off with heavy velvet that reeked of antiseptic and sage."
13"Disgraced NHS license, now providing off-the-books care to exactly the kind of patients who frequented places like this."
14"The suspect groaned as Tomás peeled back the jacket, revealing a gash that wasn't bleeding normally—it shimmered, as if threaded with silver filaments."
0.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags8
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"she shouted, voice cutting through the storm"
1"she muttered, voice swallowed by the storm"
2"Tomás was saying, his Spanish accent soft but urgent"
3"Tomás said, voice carrying over the sudden quiet"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"she shouted (shout)"
1"she muttered (mutter)"
2"Tomás was saying (be say)"
dialogueSentences16
tagDensity0.313
leniency0.625
rawRatio0.6
effectiveRatio0.375
69.4251%