Run: 2026-05-01-01KQHSNHSHXFPDRVS02BMSRRKG

Run Details

Duration:
1m 22s
Cost:
$0.016409
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rory’s fingers brushed the Heartstone pendant where it rested against her sternum, its deep crimson core pulsing with steady warmth that matched the frantic beat of her heart. The silver chain felt heavier than it should, tugging her forward through the ring of ancient oaks that marked the boundary of Isolde’s grove. Richmond Park lay behind them, its mundane winter grass already forgotten. Here, wildflowers bloomed in defiant riot—violets and moon-pale lilies swaying though no breeze stirred. The air tasted of honey and iron. Isolde moved ahead, silver hair brushing the backs of her knees, feet leaving no imprint on the soft earth. She never did. The half-fae seer hummed a tuneless melody that made the standing stones answer with faint, crystalline echoes. “The veil thins where hunger calls,” she murmured, her voice layered like wind through chimes. “Mind the fruit that offers answers, little lawyer. Some truths digest poorly.” Beside Rory, Nyx flowed rather than walked, a humanoid silhouette of living shadow that occasionally sharpened into solid limbs and a hooded cowl. Their faintly glowing violet eyes fixed on the shimmering distortion ahead—the Veil itself, visible only because Rory had learned to see it. The boundary looked like heated air above summer tarmac, except this distortion bled amber light instead of haze. Nyx’s voice arrived as a whisper carried on the wind, brushing Rory’s ear though the shade stood two paces away. “I feel the pull of old bargains here. Be wary, Rory. Hel does not release its guests willingly.” “I’m not planning on signing any contracts today,” Rory said, voice steadier than she felt. Her left wrist itched where the small crescent scar hid beneath her sleeve—a childhood reminder that not every accident was random. She tightened her grip on the hilt of the moonsilver dagger Isolde had given her. The blade was cold enough to sting even through leather wrapping, its leaf-shaped edge emitting the faintest lunar glow. It had tasted demon blood once already. She hoped it wouldn’t need to again. Isolde paused at the Veil’s edge and turned. Her pale lavender eyes held that eerie agelessness that always made Rory’s skin prickle. “What you seek hides in excess. Follow the scent of overripe promise.” With that, the seer stepped through. The distortion swallowed her without sound. Rory exchanged a glance with Nyx. Their shadowy shoulders lifted in what might have been a shrug. “After you, protagonist.” She exhaled once, tasting ozone and something sweeter—burnt sugar, perhaps—and walked into the shimmer. The transition yanked every sense sideways. For one stomach-lurching instant Rory existed nowhere, a mote between realms, the Veil’s cold pressure squeezing her ribs. Then heat bloomed across her face, thick and fragrant, like opening an oven door in a bakery the size of a cathedral. She stumbled onto new ground and caught herself against a trellis heavy with grapes the color of fresh blood. The sky above was warm amber, as if the sun had melted and spilled across the firmament. No clouds marred it, only faint currents of gold that drifted like slow syrup. The light bathed everything in honeyed tones, making edges soft and temptations vivid. Rory’s mouth flooded with saliva before she could stop herself. “Gluttony,” she whispered. Nyx materialized beside her, their form flickering as if the transition had unsettled even a creature born of failed sorcery. “Dymas,” the shade confirmed, voice a low rustle of dry leaves. “One of the Seven. Belphegor’s playground.” Isolde stood a little way ahead, already drifting between the first rows of an orchard that stretched farther than Rory’s eyes could track. Trees bore fruit in impossible abundance: apples speckled with gold, pears that shimmered like opals, clusters of berries that pulsed with inner light. The ground underfoot was rich black soil that clung to her boots like it wanted to taste her. Every breath carried layered scents—ripe peach, roasted nuts, caramelized onion, fresh bread, mulled wine. Her stomach growled despite the large lunch she’d eaten barely an hour ago in the mortal world. Or had it been an hour? Time in the grove had already felt slippery. Here, it might be devouring itself. They moved deeper. Rory kept the pendant in one hand, its warmth increasing with every step. The silver chain grew almost hot. She used the sensation like a compass, letting it guide them along a gentle slope between vineyards. The vines themselves were works of alien art: thick as her wrist, leaves veined with luminous green, grapes so swollen they looked moments from bursting. One vine brushed her arm as she passed. A single drop of juice landed on her skin and burned pleasantly, like spiced brandy. She wiped it away quickly, but the scent clung. “Unease suits you,” Nyx whispered, drifting incorporeal for a moment to pass straight through a particularly dense thicket of brambles. When they solidified again, their height seemed to have increased, towering nearly six and a half feet. “Your pulse is a drum. I could dance to it.” “Save the poetry for later,” Rory muttered. “This place is trying to seduce us. I can feel it in my teeth.” Isolde’s laughter floated back like silver bells. “Seduction is the first course. Gluttony serves seven. Tell me, shadow-of-a-man, what did Aldric feast on before the summoning claimed him?” Nyx’s form rippled, violet eyes narrowing. The whisper grew colder. “Do not speak that name here, oracle. Some doors stay closed for reasons.” Rory filed the exchange away even as her attention snagged on movement ahead. Between two ancient gnarled trunks—trees older than cathedrals—figures worked. Humans, or what had once been humans. Helbound souls, the codex in her mind supplied, though she’d never read any such book. Their skin carried a faint reddish sheen, as though the amber sky had stained them. They moved with the languid grace of people half-drunk on their own labor. One woman sang while plucking glowing figs, her voice rich and mournful. Another man fed slices of something golden to a creature that looked like a cross between a boar and a peacock. Both man and beast wore expressions of sloppy bliss. Rory’s stomach cramped with sudden, ferocious hunger. She forced her gaze away only to find a long table laid out beneath a bower of flowering vines. No one sat there, yet platters overflowed: roasted birds with crispy skin still sizzling, pies whose crusts had burst to reveal molten fillings, cheeses veined with edible gold, fruits carved into miniature sculptures of beasts and lovers. A carafe of deep red wine stood at the center, breathing out aromas of blackberry and smoke and something darker—regret, perhaps. Her feet carried her three steps toward it before her mind caught up. “No,” she said aloud, planting her boots. The effort sent a tremor through her legs. “We’re here for the rift signature the pendant detected. Not the buffet.” Isolde appeared at her elbow, though Rory hadn’t seen her approach. The seer’s breath smelled of lilac. “The table is older than the prince who claims it. One bite and you may leave whenever you wish. The leaving, however, will not be as you arrived.” “A riddle wrapped in bacon,” Rory said tightly. “Helpful as always.” Nyx flowed between them, a barrier of cool shadow that broke the table’s olfactory spell. The shade’s presence grounded her; the living darkness carried no scent of food, only the faint ozone of between-realms. “I sense wards ahead,” they whispered. “Old ones. The kind that once kept me from escaping my own summoning circle. Something important hides behind them.” The pendant flared hotter, almost painful. Rory followed its urging, leaving the treacherous table behind. The three of them pressed deeper into the orchard, where the trees grew taller and stranger. Some bore fruit that chimed softly when the wind touched them. Others wept sap that hardened into sugar crystals midair before falling like snow. The ground began to slope upward toward what looked like the ruins of an amphitheater carved from rose-colored stone. Wild culinary competitions, the lore had said. Rory could almost hear ghostly applause rolling down the tiers. A new sound reached them—laughter, deep and rolling, accompanied by the clink of goblets and the wet tear of meat from bone. Not ghostly at all. Real. Close. Rory’s hand tightened on the Fae-forged blade. The moonsilver thrummed against her palm, cold against the realm’s sticky warmth. Good. The contrast helped her think. They crested the rise. Below them sprawled a natural amphitheater filled with long tables arranged in concentric circles. Hundreds of helbound souls and a few actual demons—red-skinned, elegant, with curling horns—feasted in a riot of excess. Platters the size of rowing boats held entire roasted beasts stuffed with smaller roasted beasts. Rivers of wine flowed through channels carved in the tables, caught by crystal goblets that refilled themselves. In the center ring, three chefs in towering hats engaged in what looked like a duel, flinging spices that exploded into colored flames and singing fish that leapt from pan to plate still gasping lyrics. The wonder of it hit Rory like a physical force. This was no ordinary kitchen or banquet. This was indulgence elevated to cosmic art. A part of her—the hungry, tired twenty-five-year-old who delivered noodles on a scooter for barely enough rent money—wanted to descend those stone steps and drown in it. To taste something that might finally fill the hollow Evan had left in her chest. The unease followed immediately, a sour note beneath the symphony of smells. Nothing here was free. Every glistening fruit, every perfect pastry, every droplet of wine carried a subtle hook. She could feel them brushing her mind like spider silk. Nyx’s form had gone almost translucent with tension. “I remember banquets like this in 1643,” the shade whispered, the words barely audible even this close. “Aldric laughed at such excess. Then the circle claimed him and laughter became... this.” Their silhouette gestured at the amphitheater with what might have been disgust or longing. It was hard to tell with living shadow. Isolde stood perfectly still, lavender eyes reflecting the amber sky. “The prince watches from his vineyard tower,” she said in her soft, riddling way. “He tastes every soul that crosses his border. Even those who only watch. Especially those.” Rory tore her gaze from a nearby table where a demon was feeding sugared violets to a bound soul whose expression suggested ecstasy and horror in equal measure. Instead she studied the far side of the amphitheater. There, half-hidden by a curtain of flowering vines, a darker shimmer disturbed the air. Another rift? Or the source the pendant had been leading them toward? The Heartstone flared so brightly she had to squint. Its inner glow painted her fingers crimson. “There,” she said, pointing with the dagger. The blade’s cold edge seemed to cut the very light. “Whatever we came for is behind that curtain. Can either of you sense what it is?” Nyx drifted closer to the edge of the slope, becoming incorporeal to let a sudden gust of spiced wind pass through them. “A knot in the Veil. Old. Hungry in a different way than this realm. It feels... familiar.” Their violet eyes flicked to Rory. “Like the accident that gave you that scar, perhaps. Some wounds call across worlds.” She resisted the urge to touch her wrist. Instead she started down the slope, keeping to the shadows of the outermost trees. Isolde and Nyx followed in their own strange ways—one leaving no footprints, the other leaving footprints that dissolved into smoke. The closer they drew to the feasting rings, the stronger the pull became. Rory’s steps grew heavier. Her mind filled with unwanted images: her mother’s Sunday roasts back in Cardiff, the cheap but comforting curries from Yu-Fei’s restaurant, the champagne Evan had poured the night he’d first raised his voice. Every good taste she’d ever known paraded behind her eyes, each one promising that here, in Dymas, she could have them perfected. Forever. Her scar burned. She bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood—her own, sharp and grounding. “Not today,” she muttered. A helbound server passed nearby carrying a tray of frosted pastries that smelled like every childhood birthday Rory had never quite enjoyed. The woman’s eyes met hers. For a moment the glaze of contentment slipped, revealing raw desperation. “Don’t,” the server whispered. “It never fills. It only stretches.” Then the moment passed. The woman smiled dreamily and offered the tray. Rory’s hand trembled toward a pastry before Nyx’s shadowy fingers closed around her wrist. The contact was icy, a shock that cleared her head. “Focus, Rory Carter,” the shade whispered, voice like wind through a graveyard. “You fled one cage. Do not step into another wearing sugar instead of chains.” She nodded once, grateful, and pressed on. They reached the curtain of flowering vines. Up close the flowers proved to be tiny mouths, each singing a different note in perfect, stomach-turning harmony. Rory slashed the Fae-forged blade through them. The moonsilver parted vine and song alike. The severed ends bled clear sap that smelled like expensive perfume. Beyond lay a smaller, hidden grove—not unlike Isolde’s, but twisted by Hel’s influence. Ancient trees bore fruit shaped like tiny screaming faces. In the center stood a stone plinth, and hovering above it, a tear in reality no wider than her hand. The rift crackled with violet lightning that reminded her of Nyx’s eyes. Through it she caught glimpses of London streets at night, her own flat above Silas’s bar, the alley behind Golden Empress where she parked her delivery scooter. The pendant jerked forward so hard the chain snapped. It flew from her hand and slammed into the rift, where it hung suspended, spinning slowly. Its crimson glow synchronized with the lightning. Isolde tilted her head, listening to something only she could hear. “The benefactor’s gift returns home. A door swings both ways, little lawyer. But every key demands its toll.” Rory felt the ground tilt beneath her—not physically, but in her understanding. The pendant hadn’t just been leading her here. It had been calling its sibling piece, or its maker, or something older. The realization brought both wonder and fresh unease. She had crossed into an alien realm wearing a beacon around her neck and never once questioned its origin. Nyx solidified fully beside her, tall and almost human in the amber light. Their whisper held an edge of something like fear. “I know this rift’s signature. It was part of the circle that trapped me in 1643. Gluttony was only the first sin I bargained with that night.” Rory drew a slow breath that tasted of honey and danger and new possibilities. The dagger in her hand sang its cold song. Behind them the grand feast roared on, oblivious or perhaps purposefully ignorant of the smaller drama unfolding at its edge. Ahead, the rift pulsed like an open wound between worlds. She stepped forward, cool head finally winning over the realm’s relentless sensory assault. “Tell me the toll,” she said to Isolde without looking back. “And then tell me how we pay it without losing who we are.” The seer’s answering smile held riddles sharp enough to cut. The amber sky pressed down. The orchards whispered promises of more—always more. And deep in the heart of Dymas, something ancient noticed three new souls moving through its bounty and began, slowly, to hunger in return. Rory Carter adjusted her grip on the Fae blade, heart steady despite the wonders and warnings pressing in from every side. Whatever came next, she would meet it the way she’d met every challenge since fleeing Cardiff: with quick thinking, sharper steel, and friends who walked in shadow and moonlight. The realm of Gluttony breathed around them, waiting for their next move.
created_at"2026-05-01T12:54:24.822Z" 5/1/2026, 12:54:24 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4.20-20260309"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency29434
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time82233
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion4797
native_tokens_prompt1595
native_tokens_completion5793
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning2446
native_tokens_cached64
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.01640905
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"3ecee37f-b217-4093-87fb-aaf0afe307af"
id"c37a5597-93f7-9f42-aa7c-ef04405e65e3"
is_byokfalse
latency62
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4.20-20260309"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777640064-rxB2g0zEGuk5IJSerRui"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1777640064-pIUhxcSfowpBJfISGuuK"
upstream_id"c37a5597-93f7-9f42-aa7c-ef04405e65e3"
total_cost0.01640905
cache_discount0.0000672
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
97.44% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags19
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said aloud [aloud]"
1"Rory said tightly [tightly]"
dialogueSentences39
tagDensity0.487
leniency0.974
rawRatio0.105
effectiveRatio0.103
84.93% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2654
totalAiIsmAdverbs8
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count1
1
adverb"tightly"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"perfectly"
count1
4
adverb"very"
count1
5
adverb"dreamily"
count1
6
adverb"slowly"
count2
highlights
0"quickly"
1"tightly"
2"softly"
3"perfectly"
4"very"
5"dreamily"
6"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
34.06% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2654
totalAiIsms35
found
0
word"warmth"
count3
1
word"crystalline"
count1
2
word"echoes"
count1
3
word"whisper"
count3
4
word"reminder"
count1
5
word"stomach"
count4
6
word"lurching"
count1
7
word"unsettled"
count1
8
word"shimmered"
count1
9
word"pulsed"
count2
10
word"pulse"
count1
11
word"dance"
count1
12
word"treacherous"
count1
13
word"crystal"
count1
14
word"symphony"
count1
15
word"glistening"
count1
16
word"perfect"
count2
17
word"could feel"
count1
18
word"silk"
count1
19
word"tension"
count1
20
word"familiar"
count1
21
word"flicked"
count1
22
word"comforting"
count1
23
word"trembled"
count1
24
word"synchronized"
count1
25
word"beacon"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"crystalline"
2"echoes"
3"whisper"
4"reminder"
5"stomach"
6"lurching"
7"unsettled"
8"shimmered"
9"pulsed"
10"pulse"
11"dance"
12"treacherous"
13"crystal"
14"symphony"
15"glistening"
16"perfect"
17"could feel"
18"silk"
19"tension"
20"familiar"
21"flicked"
22"comforting"
23"trembled"
24"synchronized"
25"beacon"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences184
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences184
filterMatches
0"think"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences204
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen37
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2634
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions23
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions80
wordCount2250
uniqueNames20
maxNameDensity1.29
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Heartstone2
Isolde12
Park1
Rory29
Nyx13
Veil3
Fae-forged2
Evan2
Sunday1
Cardiff2
Yu-Fei1
Dymas2
Hel1
London1
Silas1
Golden1
Empress1
Carter1
Fae3
Gluttony1
persons
0"Heartstone"
1"Isolde"
2"Rory"
3"Nyx"
4"Veil"
5"Evan"
6"Hel"
7"Silas"
8"Carter"
9"Gluttony"
places
0"Park"
1"Cardiff"
2"Yu-Fei"
3"Dymas"
4"London"
globalScore0.856
windowScore0.667
41.30% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences161
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"looked like heated air above summer tarma"
1"looked like a cross between a boar and a"
2"looked like the ruins of an amphitheater"
3"looked like a duel, flinging spices that"
4"smelled like every childhood birthday Rory"
5"smelled like expensive perfume"
6"something like fear"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.759
wordCount2634
matches
0"not unlike Isolde’s, but twisted by Hel’s influence"
1"not physically, but in her understanding"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences204
matches
0"promising that here"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs62
mean42.48
std28.69
cv0.675
sampleLengths
084
166
2101
384
440
56
620
714
865
954
103
1137
1295
1320
143
1593
1647
1721
1828
1923
20114
217
2277
2313
2427
2545
2611
2759
2891
2928
3025
314
3299
3366
3440
3561
3639
3763
3816
3933
4059
4142
4273
433
4419
4548
4612
4724
4826
497
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount0
totalSentences184
matches(empty)
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs382
matches
0"was feeding"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount20
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences16
totalSentences204
ratio0.078
matches
0"Here, wildflowers bloomed in defiant riot—violets and moon-pale lilies swaying though no breeze stirred."
1"Their faintly glowing violet eyes fixed on the shimmering distortion ahead—the Veil itself, visible only because Rory had learned to see it."
2"Her left wrist itched where the small crescent scar hid beneath her sleeve—a childhood reminder that not every accident was random."
3"She exhaled once, tasting ozone and something sweeter—burnt sugar, perhaps—and walked into the shimmer."
4"Every breath carried layered scents—ripe peach, roasted nuts, caramelized onion, fresh bread, mulled wine."
5"Between two ancient gnarled trunks—trees older than cathedrals—figures worked."
6"A carafe of deep red wine stood at the center, breathing out aromas of blackberry and smoke and something darker—regret, perhaps."
7"The shade’s presence grounded her; the living darkness carried no scent of food, only the faint ozone of between-realms."
8"A new sound reached them—laughter, deep and rolling, accompanied by the clink of goblets and the wet tear of meat from bone."
9"Hundreds of helbound souls and a few actual demons—red-skinned, elegant, with curling horns—feasted in a riot of excess."
10"A part of her—the hungry, tired twenty-five-year-old who delivered noodles on a scooter for barely enough rent money—wanted to descend those stone steps and drown in it."
11"Isolde and Nyx followed in their own strange ways—one leaving no footprints, the other leaving footprints that dissolved into smoke."
12"She bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood—her own, sharp and grounding."
13"Beyond lay a smaller, hidden grove—not unlike Isolde’s, but twisted by Hel’s influence."
14"Rory felt the ground tilt beneath her—not physically, but in her understanding."
15"The orchards whispered promises of more—always more."
98.62% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2285
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount95
adverbRatio0.04157549234135667
lyAdverbCount29
lyAdverbRatio0.012691466083150985
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences204
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences204
mean12.91
std6.93
cv0.537
sampleLengths
028
124
211
314
47
519
63
717
815
912
1023
1122
1218
1320
1418
1515
1621
1715
1819
197
207
218
2214
2318
246
256
2611
273
2814
296
3018
3122
3219
3317
3414
3513
3610
373
3820
3911
406
4123
4223
4318
4414
4517
466
478
486
493
57.84% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats7
diversityRatio0.36764705882352944
totalSentences204
uniqueOpeners75
76.19% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences175
matches
0"Then heat bloomed across her"
1"Instead she studied the far"
2"Instead she started down the"
3"Then the moment passed."
ratio0.023
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount41
totalSentences175
matches
0"She never did."
1"she murmured, her voice layered"
2"Their faintly glowing violet eyes"
3"Her left wrist itched where"
4"She tightened her grip on"
5"It had tasted demon blood"
6"She hoped it wouldn’t need"
7"Her pale lavender eyes held"
8"Their shadowy shoulders lifted in"
9"She exhaled once, tasting ozone"
10"She stumbled onto new ground"
11"Her stomach growled despite the"
12"They moved deeper."
13"She used the sensation like"
14"She wiped it away quickly,"
15"Their skin carried a faint"
16"They moved with the languid"
17"She forced her gaze away"
18"Her feet carried her three"
19"she said aloud, planting her"
ratio0.234
48.57% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount144
totalSentences175
matches
0"Rory’s fingers brushed the Heartstone"
1"The silver chain felt heavier"
2"Richmond Park lay behind them,"
3"Here, wildflowers bloomed in defiant"
4"The air tasted of honey"
5"Isolde moved ahead, silver hair"
6"She never did."
7"The half-fae seer hummed a"
8"she murmured, her voice layered"
9"Their faintly glowing violet eyes"
10"The boundary looked like heated"
11"Nyx’s voice arrived as a"
12"Rory said, voice steadier than"
13"Her left wrist itched where"
14"She tightened her grip on"
15"The blade was cold enough"
16"It had tasted demon blood"
17"She hoped it wouldn’t need"
18"Isolde paused at the Veil’s"
19"Her pale lavender eyes held"
ratio0.823
28.57% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences175
matches
0"To taste something that might"
ratio0.006
52.70% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences103
technicalSentenceCount13
matches
0"Rory’s fingers brushed the Heartstone pendant where it rested against her sternum, its deep crimson core pulsing with steady warmth that matched the frantic bea…"
1"The silver chain felt heavier than it should, tugging her forward through the ring of ancient oaks that marked the boundary of Isolde’s grove."
2"The half-fae seer hummed a tuneless melody that made the standing stones answer with faint, crystalline echoes."
3"Nyx materialized beside her, their form flickering as if the transition had unsettled even a creature born of failed sorcery."
4"Isolde stood a little way ahead, already drifting between the first rows of an orchard that stretched farther than Rory’s eyes could track."
5"Trees bore fruit in impossible abundance: apples speckled with gold, pears that shimmered like opals, clusters of berries that pulsed with inner light."
6"Nyx flowed between them, a barrier of cool shadow that broke the table’s olfactory spell."
7"Others wept sap that hardened into sugar crystals midair before falling like snow."
8"In the center ring, three chefs in towering hats engaged in what looked like a duel, flinging spices that exploded into colored flames and singing fish that lea…"
9"A part of her—the hungry, tired twenty-five-year-old who delivered noodles on a scooter for barely enough rent money—wanted to descend those stone steps and dro…"
10"Isolde and Nyx followed in their own strange ways—one leaving no footprints, the other leaving footprints that dissolved into smoke."
11"The rift crackled with violet lightning that reminded her of Nyx’s eyes."
12"Whatever came next, she would meet it the way she’d met every challenge since fleeing Cardiff: with quick thinking, sharper steel, and friends who walked in sha…"
72.37% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags19
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Rory said, voice steadier than she felt"
1"the shade whispered, the words barely audible even this close"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags16
fancyCount10
fancyTags
0"she murmured (murmur)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
2"the shade confirmed (confirm)"
3"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
4"Rory muttered (mutter)"
5"they whispered (whisper)"
6"the shade whispered (whisper)"
7"she muttered (mutter)"
8"the server whispered (whisper)"
9"the shade whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences39
tagDensity0.41
leniency0.821
rawRatio0.625
effectiveRatio0.513
78.6423%