Run: 2026-07-25-01KYD59CDKJVP6FGV8S3YGV173

Run Details

Duration:
22.8s
Cost:
$0.000737
Provider:
Poolside

Model input

System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Mystery genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her palm against the cold brass handle of the Underground carriage door and felt it yield with a sigh that carried decades of grime. The air inside the abandoned train car hit her like a tomb exhaling—damp metal, rotting fabric, and something else, something sweet and cloying that made the hairs on her arms stand up. Eighteen years on the force had taught her to trust her instincts, and right now, hers were screaming. "Morning, Guv." Quinn didn't turn around. She knew that voice—the clipped, professional tone of someone trying to sound casual while their knuckles were white from gripping a clipboard too tight. DC Marcus Hale had been assigned to assist her on this call-out, which meant either the brass thought this was routine, or they wanted her partner's fresh eyes on something that had gone sideways. "Morning, Hale." Quinn stepped over the threshold and let the door swing shut behind her with a metallic clang. "Tell me it's not what I think it is." Hale cleared his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Body was found about twenty minutes ago by a homeless guy sleeping in the third carriage. Female, early thirties, no ID, no witnesses. Standard missing person, probably." Quinn's hand drifted to the worn leather watch on her left wrist, its face cracked but still ticking. Three years ago, she'd been standing in a crime scene just like this one, watching DS Morris take his last breath while some unseen force tore him apart limb from limb. The official report had called it a gas main explosion. She'd known better then, and she knew better now. "Show me." They moved through the train cars in silence, the only sound their footsteps echoing off the tiled walls and rusted steel. The homeless man—gaunt, bearded, eyes darting nervously—had been ushered out by uniformed officers and was now sitting on a bench outside, muttering prayers under his breath. Quinn nodded to the constable keeping him occupied and stepped into the third carriage. The woman lay sprawled near the window, her back against the cold metal wall. At first glance, she looked like any victim of violence—bruised, pale, clothes torn. But Quinn's gaze didn't linger on the obvious. It traced the edges of the scene, searching for what didn't belong. "Cause of death?" she asked, crouching beside the body. "Blunt force trauma to the head," Hale replied, flipping through his notes. "Skull fracture consistent with being struck by a heavy object. Probably a pipe or a bat. There's blood spatter on the seats behind her." Quinn's sharp jaw tightened. She'd seen hundreds of crime scenes, but something about this one felt off. The blood spatter pattern was wrong—not the chaotic spray of a single blow, but a deliberate, almost ritualistic arrangement. And the woman's expression... she wasn't afraid. She looked... resigned. "How long has she been here?" Quinn asked. "Overnight, maybe longer. Rigor's just starting to set in." Quinn stood and walked to the window, pressing her face against the grimy glass. Outside, the tunnels stretched into darkness, but far below, she could see the faint glow of the city—a reminder of the world above, the world that kept moving even when death struck. "Hale." "Yeah?" "Look at her hands." He crouched beside the body again, this time focusing on the victim's fingers. They were curled inward, as if she'd been clutching something. But there was nothing in her grasp—just dirt and fragments of dried blood. "She was grabbing at the floor," Hale said. "Maybe she tried to crawl away." Quinn shook her head. "No. She was reaching for something else." She knelt beside him, her military precision evident even in death. "See these scratches? Not defensive wounds. Too shallow, too deliberate. She was clawing at the ground, trying to dig." "Dig?" "For what?" Quinn stood slowly, brushing dust from her gloves. "What if she wasn't attacked here? What if she was brought here after she died?" Hale frowned. "But the blood spatter—" "Is staged." Quinn pointed to the seats behind the body. "Real blood spatter from an attack would be messy, random. This looks... arranged. Like someone wanted it to look a certain way." She walked back to the window, staring out into the darkness. Somewhere in the tunnels, unseen forces stirred. She'd felt them before, three years ago, when Morris had died. The same chill, the same sense of being watched by something that shouldn't exist. "There's another thing," Hale said quietly. "No footprints in the dust." Quinn turned. "What?" "The floor's covered in dust and debris. Leaves, dirt, who knows what's been falling from the tracks above for years. But there are no footprints leading to or from her. Nothing disturbed the surface except where she fell." Quinn's brown eyes narrowed. "Unless whoever brought her here didn't walk." "Unless they flew." The word hung in the air between them, heavy with implication. Quinn had spent three years trying to rationalize what had happened to Morris, to convince herself that there had to be a logical explanation. But the evidence—both here and in her memories—told a different story. "There's something else," Hale continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "The constables said the homeless guy swears he heard screaming. But not human screaming. More like... animals. Or machines." Quinn closed her eyes for a moment, letting the pieces fall into place. A woman found dead in an abandoned Underground carriage, no signs of how she got there, blood spatter that looked staged, and witnesses reporting sounds that defied explanation. "Get forensics down here," she said finally. "Full sweep. And tell the brass I want access to every missing person report from the last six months. Specifically, anyone who vanished near the Underground." "And if we find nothing?" Quinn looked back at the body, at the woman who had reached out with dying hands toward something just beyond sight. "Then we dig deeper." Outside, the trains continued their endless journey through the tunnels, carrying passengers who would never know that death had already claimed one of their own in the darkness beneath their feet. And somewhere in the shadows, watching from the corners of the world where light barely reached, something stirred with interest. The game was afoot.
created_at"2026-07-25T17:31:13.474Z" 7/25/2026, 5:31:13 PM
model"poolside/laguna-s-2.1-20260720"
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external_user(null)
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generation_time17941
tokens_prompt4492
tokens_completion1617
native_tokens_prompt4531
native_tokens_completion1420
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
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usage0.0007371
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provider_responses
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latency244
model_permaslug"poolside/laguna-s-2.1-20260720"
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
28.57% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags10
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"Quinn stood slowly [slowly]"
1"Hale said quietly [quietly]"
2"she said finally [finally]"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.286
leniency0.571
rawRatio0.3
effectiveRatio0.171
85.81% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1057
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"nervously"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"barely above a whisper"
count1
highlights
0"nervously"
1"slowly"
2"barely above a whisper"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found
0"Marcus"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
43.24% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1057
totalAiIsms12
found
0
word"weight"
count1
1
word"standard"
count1
2
word"silence"
count1
3
word"footsteps"
count1
4
word"echoing"
count1
5
word"traced"
count1
6
word"chaotic"
count1
7
word"reminder"
count1
8
word"chill"
count1
9
word"sense of"
count1
10
word"implication"
count1
11
word"whisper"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"standard"
2"silence"
3"footsteps"
4"echoing"
5"traced"
6"chaotic"
7"reminder"
8"chill"
9"sense of"
10"implication"
11"whisper"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
1
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"eyes narrowed"
1"hung in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences58
matches(empty)
93.60% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences58
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"happened to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences83
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen38
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1047
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions7
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions31
wordCount749
uniqueNames6
maxNameDensity2.27
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Harlow1
Quinn17
Underground2
Marcus1
Hale7
Morris3
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Marcus"
3"Hale"
4"Morris"
places(empty)
globalScore0.365
windowScore0.333
91.86% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences43
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"looked like any victim of violence—bruise"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.955
wordCount1047
matches
0"not the chaotic spray of a single blow, but a deliberate, almost ritualistic arrangement"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences83
matches
0"know that death"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs41
mean25.54
std21.27
cv0.833
sampleLengths
078
12
262
328
440
568
62
761
847
99
1036
1146
128
139
1446
151
161
174
1836
1914
2011
2130
221
2325
246
2532
2643
2711
283
2938
3011
313
3246
3330
3441
3533
365
3721
384
3951
404
81.06% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences58
matches
0"been assigned"
1"been ushered"
2"were curled"
3"being watched"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs141
matches
0"were screaming"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount10
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences8
totalSentences83
ratio0.096
matches
0"The air inside the abandoned train car hit her like a tomb exhaling—damp metal, rotting fabric, and something else, something sweet and cloying that made the hairs on her arms stand up."
1"She knew that voice—the clipped, professional tone of someone trying to sound casual while their knuckles were white from gripping a clipboard too tight."
2"The homeless man—gaunt, bearded, eyes darting nervously—had been ushered out by uniformed officers and was now sitting on a bench outside, muttering prayers under his breath."
3"At first glance, she looked like any victim of violence—bruised, pale, clothes torn."
4"The blood spatter pattern was wrong—not the chaotic spray of a single blow, but a deliberate, almost ritualistic arrangement."
5"Outside, the tunnels stretched into darkness, but far below, she could see the faint glow of the city—a reminder of the world above, the world that kept moving even when death struck."
6"But there was nothing in her grasp—just dirt and fragments of dried blood."
7"But the evidence—both here and in her memories—told a different story."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount760
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount22
adverbRatio0.02894736842105263
lyAdverbCount7
lyAdverbRatio0.009210526315789473
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences83
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences83
mean12.61
std9.22
cv0.731
sampleLengths
028
132
218
32
44
524
634
719
89
913
1027
1118
1231
1310
149
152
1621
1726
1814
1914
2013
218
2212
239
2412
2524
264
2713
2819
294
303
312
321
338
349
3514
3632
371
381
394
4013
4110
4213
438
446
454
467
4711
4819
491
81.93% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats2
diversityRatio0.5060240963855421
totalSentences83
uniqueOpeners42
64.10% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences52
matches
0"Somewhere in the tunnels, unseen"
ratio0.019
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount13
totalSentences52
matches
0"She knew that voice—the clipped,"
1"She'd known better then, and"
2"They moved through the train"
3"It traced the edges of"
4"she asked, crouching beside the"
5"She'd seen hundreds of crime"
6"she wasn't afraid."
7"He crouched beside the body"
8"They were curled inward, as"
9"She knelt beside him, her"
10"She walked back to the"
11"She'd felt them before, three"
12"she said finally"
ratio0.25
65.77% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount41
totalSentences52
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her"
1"The air inside the abandoned"
2"Quinn didn't turn around."
3"She knew that voice—the clipped,"
4"DC Marcus Hale had been"
5"Quinn stepped over the threshold"
6"Hale cleared his throat, shifting"
7"Quinn's hand drifted to the"
8"The official report had called"
9"She'd known better then, and"
10"They moved through the train"
11"The homeless man—gaunt, bearded, eyes"
12"Quinn nodded to the constable"
13"The woman lay sprawled near"
14"It traced the edges of"
15"she asked, crouching beside the"
16"Hale replied, flipping through his"
17"Quinn's sharp jaw tightened."
18"She'd seen hundreds of crime"
19"The blood spatter pattern was"
ratio0.788
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences52
matches(empty)
ratio0
16.81% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences34
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"Detective Harlow Quinn pressed her palm against the cold brass handle of the Underground carriage door and felt it yield with a sigh that carried decades of gri…"
1"DC Marcus Hale had been assigned to assist her on this call-out, which meant either the brass thought this was routine, or they wanted her partner's fresh eyes …"
2"Outside, the tunnels stretched into darkness, but far below, she could see the faint glow of the city—a reminder of the world above, the world that kept moving …"
3"The same chill, the same sense of being watched by something that shouldn't exist."
4"A woman found dead in an abandoned Underground carriage, no signs of how she got there, blood spatter that looked staged, and witnesses reporting sounds that de…"
5"Outside, the trains continued their endless journey through the tunnels, carrying passengers who would never know that death had already claimed one of their ow…"
75.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags10
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"Hale continued, his voice barely above a whisper"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Hale continued (continue)"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.2
leniency0.4
rawRatio0.143
effectiveRatio0.057
76.9248%