Run: 2026-07-25-01KYD5GNXTBGYJAWFF8PSYDCDX

Run Details

Duration:
27.3s
Cost:
$0.000737
Provider:
Poolside

Model input

System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Horror genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
The crunch of gravel under her boots echoed too loudly in the stillness. Aurora paused at the tree line, her hand instinctively going to the small crescent scar on her left wrist, where the Heartstone Pendant rested against her skin. It pulsed with a warmth that hadn't been there ten minutes ago, when she'd first stepped into Richmond Park. She'd come here chasing a lead—a whispered tip from Silas about something stirring in the old grove, something that didn't belong to either world. The standing stones marked the boundary like sentinels, their ancient oak trunks black against the moonless sky. Time moved differently here, she'd been warned. An hour inside could be minutes or days outside. A twig snapped somewhere beyond the clearing. Not the wind. Not an animal. Something heavier, deliberate. Aurora stepped through the final circle of stones and into the grove. The air shifted immediately, carrying the scent of night-blooming flowers and something else—copper, sharp and metallic. Her pulse quickened. The pendant grew warmer, pressing against her chest like a heartbeat. "Hello?" Her voice sounded too loud, swallowed by the darkness. No answer. Just the rustle of leaves, the distant hoot of an owl. Normal sounds. Except they weren't normal here. Everything in this place felt slightly wrong, like a song played in the wrong key. She moved deeper, her boots finding a path that shouldn't exist. Wildflowers bloomed year-round in the Fae-touched earth, their petals glowing faintly in the dark. Aurora had read about places like this, studied the theory in university before fleeing to London's concrete embrace. Theory was different from reality. The pendant burned now, a steady thrum against her ribs. She stopped and pressed her palm to the nearest standing stone. Bark rough beneath her fingers, impossibly old. The air around it shimmered, not quite visible but definitely there, like heat rising off pavement in summer. "Malphora," she whispered the name she'd found scratched into the wood of her flat above Silas' bar. The word felt foreign on her tongue, dangerous. Whatever had left it there wasn't human. Wasn't entirely human. Something moved behind a cluster of silver birch trees. Not an animal—too tall, too deliberate. Aurora's breath caught. She forced herself not to run, not to show fear. Fear attracted things in places like this. The owl hooted again, but this time it sounded closer. Too close. And there was another sound beneath it, barely audible—a whispering, like pages turning in a book she couldn't read. She backed away from the stone, her heel catching on something half-buried in the earth. Not a root. Too solid. Too shaped. She knelt and brushed away the soil, revealing carved symbols that made her skin crawl. They weren't Welsh. Not Irish. Not anything she recognized from her studies. The pendant flared hot, almost painful. Aurora snatched her hand back, but not before seeing the symbols pulse in response, their lines brightening as if fed by her touch. "Wrong place, wrong time," she muttered, standing. But even as the words left her mouth, she knew that wasn't true. She'd come here for a reason. The tip had been specific, the warning clear: *Something's breaking through. You're the only one who can stop it.* But who had sent the warning? And why had they signed it "M"? A shadow detached itself from the tree line. Tall, impossibly thin, moving with a grace that belonged to neither human nor beast. Aurora's rational mind catalogued the impossibilities: the way it seemed to drink the light around it, the way its limbs bent at wrong angles, the way it left no footprints in the soft earth. The owl hooted once more, and this time Aurora realised it was circling above, not in the distance. Much too close. She backed away, her boots crunching on something that sounded suspiciously like bone. But when she looked down, there was nothing there. Just more wildflowers, their petals white and luminous in the dark. The figure took a step forward. Or maybe it had always been there. Aurora couldn't tell anymore. Time moved differently here. Minutes stretched and compressed, each second both eternal and fleeting. "Who are you?" she called out, her voice steadier than she felt. "What do you want?" The whispering grew louder. Pages turning, words forming, meanings just beyond comprehension. Aurora pressed her hands to her ears, but the voices seemed to come from inside her head now, speaking in languages that predated humanity. The pendant burned so hot she feared it would sear her skin. She unclasped it desperately, but the chain wouldn't break. Silver strong, enchantment stronger. It pulsed in time with her heart, a rhythm that was slowly syncing with something else, something vast and patient and hungry. The figure was closer now. Close enough for Aurora to see that it had no face, just smooth skin where features should have been. Or maybe that was her imagination playing tricks. Time and distance were unreliable here. She turned to run, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot. The earth beneath her shifted, soft and yielding like sand. More flowers bloomed around her ankles, their stems wrapping around her legs with surprising strength. "Let go," she hissed, but her voice came out as a whisper. The flowers tightened their grip, drawing sustenance from her fear, her panic, her very life force. The figure raised a hand—or what passed for one—and Aurora felt her resistance melting away. The whispers coalesced into a single word, spoken directly into her mind: *"Mine."* The pendant exploded with light, crimson and blinding. Aurora screamed as reality fractured around her, the boundaries between worlds dissolving like mist in morning sun. She was falling, tumbling through dimensions, holding onto the one solid thing in a universe of chaos—the warmth of the Heartstone against her chest, its pulse steady and sure even as everything else fell apart. When she opened her eyes again, she was lying on her back in the centre of the grove. The moon hung low and full overhead, casting silver light across the clearing. The standing stones stood sentinel as always. The flowers bloomed in their eternal spring. But something was different. The pendant lay beside her, its crimson gemstone cracked but still glowing. And when she sat up, shakily, she saw her own reflection in its surface—and behind her, standing in the tree line, was the figure with no face, watching her with eyes that held entire galaxies of malice. Aurora's breath hitched. The game had changed. She'd come here looking for answers. Instead, she'd found a doorway. And something was walking through it.
created_at"2026-07-25T17:35:19.206Z" 7/25/2026, 5:35:19 PM
model"poolside/laguna-s-2.1-20260720"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency228
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time16099
tokens_prompt4387
tokens_completion1695
native_tokens_prompt4419
native_tokens_completion1478
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.0007375
router(null)
provider_responses
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endpoint_id"ab7f9e97-1af5-4b81-b099-cc932f54234e"
id"chatcmpl-bb9bef8cde2c4555bdb4f939121cb7df"
is_byokfalse
latency228
model_permaslug"poolside/laguna-s-2.1-20260720"
provider_name"Poolside"
status200
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request_id"req-1785000919-Vt3uJj4JJB8OWtEaIfhI"
session_id(null)
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api_type"completions"
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upstream_id"chatcmpl-bb9bef8cde2c4555bdb4f939121cb7df"
total_cost0.0007375
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Poolside"
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data_region"global"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
33.33% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags6
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Her voice sounded too [too]"
dialogueSentences8
tagDensity0.75
leniency1
rawRatio0.167
effectiveRatio0.167
86.50% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1111
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"slowly"
2"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
32.49% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1111
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"echoed"
count1
1
word"pulsed"
count2
2
word"warmth"
count2
3
word"sentinels"
count1
4
word"pulse"
count3
5
word"quickened"
count1
6
word"shimmered"
count1
7
word"fleeting"
count1
8
word"whisper"
count1
9
word"fractured"
count1
10
word"sentinel"
count1
highlights
0"echoed"
1"pulsed"
2"warmth"
3"sentinels"
4"pulse"
5"quickened"
6"shimmered"
7"fleeting"
8"whisper"
9"fractured"
10"sentinel"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences105
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences105
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences107
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen38
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans2
markdownWords12
totalWords1103
ratio0.011
matches
0"Something's breaking through. You're the only one who can stop it."
1"\"Mine.\""
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions7
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
90.04% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions26
wordCount1084
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity1.2
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Heartstone2
Pendant1
Richmond1
Park1
Silas1
Fae-touched1
London1
Welsh1
Irish1
Aurora13
Time3
persons
0"Pendant"
1"Silas"
2"Aurora"
3"Time"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"Fae-touched"
3"London"
globalScore0.9
windowScore1
85.90% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences78
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"not quite visible but definitely there, like heat rising off pavement in summer"
1"seemed rooted to the spot"
18.68% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords1.813
wordCount1103
matches
0"not quite visible but definitely there, like heat rising off pavement in summer"
1"neither human nor"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences107
matches
0"see that it"
89.35% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs32
mean34.47
std15.95
cv0.463
sampleLengths
059
157
216
342
445
548
646
735
835
931
1049
1129
1245
1313
1456
1521
1633
1731
1816
1936
2047
2138
2237
2328
2427
251
2660
2745
284
2949
3018
316
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences105
matches
0"been warned"
14.81% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs180
matches
0"was circling"
1"was slowly syncing"
2"was falling"
3"was lying"
4"was walking"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount8
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences7
totalSentences107
ratio0.065
matches
0"She'd come here chasing a lead—a whispered tip from Silas about something stirring in the old grove, something that didn't belong to either world."
1"The air shifted immediately, carrying the scent of night-blooming flowers and something else—copper, sharp and metallic."
2"Not an animal—too tall, too deliberate."
3"And there was another sound beneath it, barely audible—a whispering, like pages turning in a book she couldn't read."
4"The figure raised a hand—or what passed for one—and Aurora felt her resistance melting away."
5"She was falling, tumbling through dimensions, holding onto the one solid thing in a universe of chaos—the warmth of the Heartstone against her chest, its pulse steady and sure even as everything else fell apart."
6"And when she sat up, shakily, she saw her own reflection in its surface—and behind her, standing in the tree line, was the figure with no face, watching her with eyes that held entire galaxies of malice."
89.37% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount336
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"warmer, pressing against her"
adverbCount14
adverbRatio0.041666666666666664
lyAdverbCount8
lyAdverbRatio0.023809523809523808
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences107
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences107
mean10.31
std7.12
cv0.69
sampleLengths
013
127
219
324
417
57
69
77
83
93
103
1112
1216
133
1411
1510
162
1711
182
195
2015
2111
2214
2318
245
2510
2611
277
2818
2917
308
317
323
339
346
353
3610
377
3810
392
4019
4115
423
432
442
4515
463
472
487
496
60.44% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats7
diversityRatio0.40186915887850466
totalSentences107
uniqueOpeners43
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences99
matches
0"Just the rustle of leaves,"
1"Just more wildflowers, their petals"
2"Instead, she'd found a doorway."
ratio0.03
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount22
totalSentences99
matches
0"It pulsed with a warmth"
1"She'd come here chasing a"
2"Her pulse quickened."
3"Her voice sounded too loud,"
4"She moved deeper, her boots"
5"She stopped and pressed her"
6"she whispered the name she'd"
7"She forced herself not to"
8"She backed away from the"
9"She knelt and brushed away"
10"They weren't Welsh."
11"she muttered, standing"
12"She'd come here for a"
13"You're the only one who"
14"She backed away, her boots"
15"she called out, her voice"
16"She unclasped it desperately, but"
17"It pulsed in time with"
18"She turned to run, but"
19"she hissed, but her voice"
ratio0.222
91.31% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount73
totalSentences99
matches
0"The crunch of gravel under"
1"Aurora paused at the tree"
2"It pulsed with a warmth"
3"She'd come here chasing a"
4"The standing stones marked the"
5"Time moved differently here, she'd"
6"An hour inside could be"
7"A twig snapped somewhere beyond"
8"Something heavier, deliberate."
9"Aurora stepped through the final"
10"The air shifted immediately, carrying"
11"Her pulse quickened."
12"The pendant grew warmer, pressing"
13"Her voice sounded too loud,"
14"Everything in this place felt"
15"She moved deeper, her boots"
16"Wildflowers bloomed year-round in the"
17"Aurora had read about places"
18"Theory was different from reality."
19"The pendant burned now, a"
ratio0.737
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences99
matches(empty)
ratio0
49.69% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences46
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"She'd come here chasing a lead—a whispered tip from Silas about something stirring in the old grove, something that didn't belong to either world."
1"She moved deeper, her boots finding a path that shouldn't exist."
2"Aurora snatched her hand back, but not before seeing the symbols pulse in response, their lines brightening as if fed by her touch."
3"She backed away, her boots crunching on something that sounded suspiciously like bone."
4"It pulsed in time with her heart, a rhythm that was slowly syncing with something else, something vast and patient and hungry."
5"And when she sat up, shakily, she saw her own reflection in its surface—and behind her, standing in the tree line, was the figure with no face, watching her wit…"
0.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags6
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"she called out, her voice steadier than she felt"
1"she hissed, but her voice came out as a whisper"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags4
fancyCount4
fancyTags
0"she whispered (whisper)"
1"she muttered (mutter)"
2"she called out (call out)"
3"she hissed (hiss)"
dialogueSentences8
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio1
effectiveRatio1
71.3968%