Run: 2026-07-25-01KYD84BGZAX496XBTSZ67Q6GR

Run Details

Duration:
15.8s
Cost:
$0.000343
Provider:
Poolside

Model input

System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Romance genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4415" name="Lucien Moreau" aliases="Lucien, Luc, the Frenchman" pronouns="he/him" species="Half-Demon" storyRole="Ally"> <eyeColor>heterochromatic — one amber, one black</eyeColor> <hair>slicked-back platinum blond</hair> <height>5'11"</height> <age>32</age> <cane>ivory-handled cane that conceals a thin blade</cane> <dress>tailored charcoal suits</dress> <description>An impeccably dressed fixer and information broker in London's supernatural underworld. He speaks four languages fluently.</description> <backstory>Born in Marseille to a human mother and a demon father from the realm of Avaros.</backstory> </character> <location id="858" name="Eva's Flat" aliases="Eva's place, the flat on Brick Lane" realm="Earth"> <cat>tabby cat named Ptolemy</cat> <security>three deadbolts on the front door</security> <description>A cramped one-bedroom flat above a curry house on Brick Lane, East London. Every surface is covered with books, scrolls, and research notes.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the romance genre. Two people who parted on complicated terms are forced together again when one shows up unannounced at the other's flat. There's history between them — attraction, hurt, and things left unsaid. Write the scene from the moment the door opens. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
The door swung open before Rory could second-guess herself, and Lucien Moreau stood framed in the doorway like a question mark wrapped in expensive wool and trouble. "Eva didn't answer," he said, one eyebrow arched. His heterochromatic eyes—one amber, one black—took in the cluttered hallway of her flat with the practiced assessment of someone who'd spent decades reading people and places. "But you're here, so I'll take that as a yes." Rory crossed her arms, the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist catching the dim light from the single bulb overhead. "You could've called." "I could've called. But where's the fun in that?" He stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind him with a soft, final sound. The tabby cat—Ptolemy—materialised from behind a stack of books and immediately began assessing the intruder with wide, unimpressed eyes. "Still keeping cats now, Eva? I thought you hated them." "She's a rescue." Rory's voice came out sharper than she intended. "What do you want, Luc?" He removed his coat with the fluid precision of someone accustomed to commanding attention, revealing the tailored charcoal suit that probably cost more than most people's monthly rent. "Information. About a certain half-demon who's been skimming from the Avaros tribute routes." Rory felt her pulse spike. She'd heard whispers about the tribute routes, about demons crossing over for business that had nothing to do with the usual chaos and bloodshed. But she'd never expected to be the one sitting across from a man who could probably buy her flat—and her—in a single transaction. "And you think I know something?" "I think you've been delivering food to the wrong address for the past six months." His smile was all teeth. "Golden Empress, wasn't it? Yu-Fei's place." The blood drained from Rory's face. "That was just a job." "Was it?" He moved deeper into the flat, his ivory-handled cane tapping against the floorboards. "Or was it something else? Something that made you wonder why certain packages always seemed to arrive at the same time, why certain customers always paid in cash, why certain deliveries never had return addresses?" She stepped back, her heel catching on the edge of a rug. "Look, I don't know what game you're playing, but—" "The game is simple, petite." He leaned against the wall, arms crossed. "Either you tell me what you've seen, or I tell your little friend Yu-Fei that his favourite delivery girl has been asking too many questions about his 'special ingredients.'" Rory's stomach clenched. She'd always suspected there was something odd about some of the orders—the way the packages felt heavier than they should, the strange symbols etched into the packaging, the way some customers seemed to vanish into shadows before she could make eye contact. But she'd needed the money, and Eva had been counting on her share of the rent. "What do you want from me?" she whispered. "Just the truth." He pushed off the wall and closed the distance between them in three strides. Up close, she could smell the sandalwood and something darker underneath—like ozone after lightning. "Who's been feeding you information about the tribute routes?" "Nobody." The lie came out automatically, but his gaze didn't waver. "I just... I noticed things. Patterns. That's all." "Patterns." He repeated the word like it was something delicious. "Clever girl. Tell me about these patterns." The silence stretched between them, thick with everything they'd never said. Three years ago, they'd parted on terms that had left scars deeper than any demon's claw—scars that still ached when the moon was right and the city smelled like rain. She'd walked away from him because she'd thought he was using her, because she'd believed the lies that had been fed to her about his true nature. And he'd let her go without a fight, because he'd known that loving her meant staying away. But here she stood, barefoot and trembling in her thin dressing gown, facing the man who'd haunted her dreams for far too long. "You're not wearing your ring," he observed quietly. Rory glanced down at her finger. The silver band she'd worn every day since their last conversation had vanished weeks ago—lost during a particularly brutal shift at the restaurant, or maybe thrown away during one of her more desperate attempts to forget him. Either way, it was gone now. "A replacement?" His voice softened, just slightly. "Or are you done with sentiment?" "I'm done with you," she said, but even as the words left her mouth, she knew they were a lie. She'd never been done with him. Never would be. He stepped closer, until his breath ghosted over her cheek. "Liar." The word should have stung, but instead, it sent shivers down her spine. She remembered the last time he'd touched her like this—gentle, reverent, as if she were something precious and fragile. Before everything had fallen apart. "What do you want, really?" she breathed. He cupped her jaw, his thumb brushing the corner of her mouth. "I want you to trust me again." "After everything?" "After everything." The cat yowled from behind the bookshelf, and they both turned to see Ptolemy crouched low, fur bristling. Something was wrong. Very wrong. "Rory," Lucien murmured, his hand never leaving her face. "There's something in your flat. Something that shouldn't be here." She followed his gaze to the shadows pooling in the corner of the room. The darkness seemed to pulse, to breathe, to shift and writhe like smoke given purpose. And beneath it, she could hear it—the low, guttural sound of something ancient and hungry stirring from its rest. "Oh God," she whispered. Lucien's grip tightened imperceptibly. "They found you." "Who?" "The same people who've been hunting you since the day you walked away from me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "And they're not here for information." The shadows moved again, and this time, Rory saw the glint of claws beneath the darkness. Whatever was coming through that doorway wasn't human. Wasn't entirely of this world. And she was trapped. With nowhere to run. And the only person she'd ever wanted to save her standing right behind her, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered promises that might be lies but felt like salvation. "Don't worry," he murmured. "I'm not letting go this time."
created_at"2026-07-25T18:20:55.182Z" 7/25/2026, 6:20:55 PM
model"poolside/laguna-s-2.1-20260720"
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generation_time10579
tokens_prompt4383
tokens_completion1626
native_tokens_prompt4444
native_tokens_completion1479
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native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached4416
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num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
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is_byokfalse
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latency206
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags17
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"he observed quietly [quietly]"
1"His voice softened just [just]"
dialogueSentences42
tagDensity0.405
leniency0.81
rawRatio0.118
effectiveRatio0.095
85.93% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1066
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
1
adverb"really"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"really"
2"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
57.79% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1066
totalAiIsms9
found
0
word"eyebrow"
count1
1
word"pulse"
count2
2
word"stomach"
count1
3
word"etched"
count1
4
word"silence"
count1
5
word"sent shivers down"
count1
6
word"whisper"
count1
7
word"glint"
count1
highlights
0"eyebrow"
1"pulse"
2"stomach"
3"etched"
4"silence"
5"sent shivers down"
6"whisper"
7"glint"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences60
matches(empty)
95.24% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences60
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences84
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen43
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1055
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions15
wordCount772
uniqueNames5
maxNameDensity1.04
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory8
Lucien3
Moreau1
Ptolemy2
Eva1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Lucien"
2"Moreau"
3"Ptolemy"
4"Eva"
places(empty)
globalScore0.982
windowScore0.833
30.95% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences42
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"smelled like rain"
1"felt like salvation"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount1055
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences84
matches
0"through that doorway"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs42
mean25.12
std18.97
cv0.755
sampleLengths
027
144
224
352
416
541
652
76
826
911
1050
1121
1241
1361
148
1540
1619
1717
1885
1923
208
2149
2213
2329
2411
2537
267
2719
282
292
3023
3119
3248
334
347
351
3627
3729
384
394
4038
4110
93.57% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences60
matches
0"been fed"
1"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs143
matches
0"was using"
1"was coming"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount12
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences9
totalSentences84
ratio0.107
matches
0"His heterochromatic eyes—one amber, one black—took in the cluttered hallway of her flat with the practiced assessment of someone who'd spent decades reading people and places."
1"The tabby cat—Ptolemy—materialised from behind a stack of books and immediately began assessing the intruder with wide, unimpressed eyes."
2"But she'd never expected to be the one sitting across from a man who could probably buy her flat—and her—in a single transaction."
3"She'd always suspected there was something odd about some of the orders—the way the packages felt heavier than they should, the strange symbols etched into the packaging, the way some customers seemed to vanish into shadows before she could make eye contact."
4"Up close, she could smell the sandalwood and something darker underneath—like ozone after lightning."
5"Three years ago, they'd parted on terms that had left scars deeper than any demon's claw—scars that still ached when the moon was right and the city smelled like rain."
6"The silver band she'd worn every day since their last conversation had vanished weeks ago—lost during a particularly brutal shift at the restaurant, or maybe thrown away during one of her more desperate attempts to forget him."
7"She remembered the last time he'd touched her like this—gentle, reverent, as if she were something precious and fragile."
8"And beneath it, she could hear it—the low, guttural sound of something ancient and hungry stirring from its rest."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount786
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount29
adverbRatio0.03689567430025445
lyAdverbCount12
lyAdverbRatio0.015267175572519083
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences84
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences84
mean12.56
std9.37
cv0.746
sampleLengths
027
18
226
310
421
53
623
719
810
911
105
1128
1213
135
1424
1523
166
1720
186
196
205
2115
2235
2312
249
2512
2629
273
2842
2916
308
3117
3214
339
3411
358
3610
377
3811
3930
4027
4117
4223
438
446
4537
466
477
486
4920
80.16% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats1
diversityRatio0.4880952380952381
totalSentences84
uniqueOpeners41
0.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount0
totalSentences55
matches(empty)
ratio0
60.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount22
totalSentences55
matches
0"he said, one eyebrow arched"
1"His heterochromatic eyes—one amber, one"
2"He stepped inside, the door"
3"He removed his coat with"
4"She'd heard whispers about the"
5"His smile was all teeth"
6"He moved deeper into the"
7"She stepped back, her heel"
8"He leaned against the wall,"
9"She'd always suspected there was"
10"He pushed off the wall"
11"He repeated the word like"
12"She'd walked away from him"
13"he observed quietly"
14"His voice softened, just slightly"
15"she said, but even as"
16"She'd never been done with"
17"He stepped closer, until his"
18"She remembered the last time"
19"He cupped her jaw, his"
ratio0.4
87.27% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount41
totalSentences55
matches
0"The door swung open before"
1"he said, one eyebrow arched"
2"His heterochromatic eyes—one amber, one"
3"Rory crossed her arms, the"
4"He stepped inside, the door"
5"The tabby cat—Ptolemy—materialised from behind"
6"Rory's voice came out sharper"
7"He removed his coat with"
8"Rory felt her pulse spike."
9"She'd heard whispers about the"
10"His smile was all teeth"
11"The blood drained from Rory's"
12"He moved deeper into the"
13"She stepped back, her heel"
14"He leaned against the wall,"
15"Rory's stomach clenched."
16"She'd always suspected there was"
17"He pushed off the wall"
18"The lie came out automatically,"
19"He repeated the word like"
ratio0.745
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences55
matches
0"Either way, it was gone"
1"Before everything had fallen apart."
ratio0.036
37.04% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences27
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"His heterochromatic eyes—one amber, one black—took in the cluttered hallway of her flat with the practiced assessment of someone who'd spent decades reading peo…"
1"But here she stood, barefoot and trembling in her thin dressing gown, facing the man who'd haunted her dreams for far too long."
2"She remembered the last time he'd touched her like this—gentle, reverent, as if she were something precious and fragile."
3"And the only person she'd ever wanted to save her standing right behind her, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, his lips brushing her ear as he whi…"
95.59% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags17
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"The lie came out, but his gaze didn't waver"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags9
fancyCount7
fancyTags
0"she whispered (whisper)"
1"He repeated (repeat)"
2"he observed quietly (observe)"
3"she breathed (breathe)"
4"Lucien murmured (murmur)"
5"she whispered (whisper)"
6"he murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences42
tagDensity0.214
leniency0.429
rawRatio0.778
effectiveRatio0.333
80.0288%