Run: 2026-09-01-01M1EMM4X7ZBQ68SPX1HW600D6

Run Details

Duration:
2m 42s
Cost:
$0.009302
Provider:
Together

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The oak standing stones stood like teeth at the edge of Richmond Park’s hidden margin, and Aurora Carter found them by the absence of sound. London’s autumn rain had muffled the city behind her, but here the air turned syrupy, holding every breath in suspension. She touched the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist, a childhood accident that had left a permanent geography, and felt the silver chain of the Heartstone Pendant warm against her collarbone. Deep crimson. Roughly the size of a thumbnail. A gift with no return address, given by a benefactor she had never met, and now it was pulsing with a faint inner glow, a warmth that spoke of places where the Boundary had grown thin. Nyx stood beside her, a humanoid silhouette of living shadow approximately six feet two when they chose to be solid. Their violet eyes glowed faintly, a color that had no business in London dusk, and their voice, when they spoke, came like a whisper carried on the wind. “The boundary is not where you think, Rory.” Inside the ring of ancient oaks, Isolde waited. Her silver hair, reaching her waist, moved without breeze, and her pale lavender eyes reflected nothing of the dark. She wore no shoes, left no footprints, and Aurora had watched her step across the moss an instant earlier, the ground remaining untouched. The Half-Fae seer was three hundred years old and spoke in riddles, but her presence was gentler than her reputation; she had given Aurora the Fae-Forged Blade in the flat above Silas’ bar three nights prior, a moonsilver dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, always cold to the touch, luminescent in moonlight, capable of cutting through magical wards and particularly effective against demons. “I don’t think she’s lying,” Nyx whispered, though the word felt more like an exhalation than speech. “She can mislead, but she can’t say a false thing.” Aurora adjusted her grip on the blade at her hip. It was colder now, biting through her leather glove, and she felt its weight like a secret she had agreed to carry. She had come to this hidden grove in Richmond Park not by accident but by the insistence of her childhood friend Eva, who had pulled her from Cardiff and away from an abusive ex named Evan, who had steered her toward delivery routes for Yu-Fei Cheung’s Golden Empress restaurant rather than toward the legal textbooks she had once pursued at Cardiff University. She lived in a flat above Silas’ bar, a life of narrow windows and quiet victories, and now she was crossing a boundary she had only read about in lore. “Come,” Isolde said, and her invitation was shaped like a riddle. “The grove does not open for those who hurry. It opens for those who forget the clock.” They stepped between the standing stones. The moment Aurora crossed, the temperature dropped not gradually but in a single, clean cut. The air changed character—no longer London damp but something older, mineral-rich, like the breath inside a mouth that remembered being a cave. The wildflowers were wrong. They bloomed in clusters of impossible color around her: blues that matched her own bright eyes, golds that glowed from within, reds like the crimson heartbeat of her pendant. They were fixtures arranged with deliberate intelligence, blooming year-round as the grove demanded. Time moved differently here. Aurora knew it in her bones before she could articulate it. A crow cawed above them, but the sound arrived stretched, as if the bird’s cry had traveled through water rather than air. Isolde walked ahead, her bare feet touching petals without crushing them, leaving no prints, and Aurora realized with a shiver that she herself was leaving tracks in the soft moss. The boundary held only for the true inhabitants. “Where are we?” Aurora asked, her voice level, cool-headed, the trait that had carried her out of an abusive relationship and into a life of quick out-of-the-box thinking. “We are where the Veil breathes,” Isolde said, turning her head just enough to reveal her profile. She spoke in riddles, always, but this time there was softness in her voice, an invitation rather than a trap. “The Barrier is not a wall. It is a mouth. And you have stepped inside.” Aurora glanced back. The oak stones were still visible, but dimmer, as though the grove had swallowed them, or they had swallowed the grove. The faint shimmering distortion of the Veil—visible only to those with supernatural sight—was stronger here, a tremor in the air that made her vision waver at the edges. Nyx’s form flickered beside her, half-solid, half-smoke, and for a moment Aurora thought the Shade might dissolve entirely, become nothing but a whisper. “I feel it,” Nyx said, and Aurora couldn’t tell if they were speaking to her or to the air. “The portal. Not Hel, not pure Fae. Something between.” The Heartstone Pendant blazed. A faint warmth, deep crimson against her sternum, a heartbeat that was not her own, pulsed in rhythm with her own pulse. It was near enough to a rift point that Aurora could feel the warmth spreading through her chest, as though the gem itself was tasting the air, recognizing a door that had been hidden since the winter solstice had weakened the Barrier. “The Wardens monitor rifts,” Aurora said aloud, not sure if she was quoting lore or inventing it. Isolde smiled, a ghost of an expression. “They watch. They do not always see what is already inside.” Isolde led them deeper, past the first ring of standing stones—there were more, older, half-buried in moss and roots, arranged not in a circle but in a spiral that seemed to pull the eye downward. The grove opened into a clearing that had no right to exist in English earth. At its center stood a pool of water so still it acted as a mirror for the sky, except the sky reflected was not London’s grey but an amber warmth, the color of Dymas’s sky, Gluttony’s endless indulgence, a warmth that spoke of grand feasts, sprawling vineyards, and the culinary competitions of helbound souls. Aurora stopped. The physical sensation of awe had her frozen, her bright blue eyes wide, her straight shoulder-length black hair plastered to her neck by the cold. “It drinks,” Isolde said, her voice a riddle with teeth. “It remembers every face that has fallen inside.” Nyx moved closer to Aurora, their shadow-casting body blocking part of the amber light. “Rory,” they whispered, and the word carried on wind that did not blow. “Your weapon.” Aurora’s hand found the Fae-Forged Blade. It was colder now, moonsilver biting her palm through the leather grip, luminescent in the strange amber light. It could cut through magical wards. It was effective against demons. She didn’t know if that mattered here, in a grove that was neither Fae nor Earth nor Hel, but she felt its purpose aligning with her own: she had come here not only for answers but because Isolde had promised her one, years ago, in a vision shared in a pub above Silas’ bar. “You came to me because the Veil is thin,” Isolde continued, stepping closer, her silver hair brushing her shoulders, her feet leaving no prints in the moss near the pool. “The winter solstice approaches. The Barrier weakens. Rift points open. You carry a stone born of Dymas, a blade born of Courts, and a shadow born of a sorcerer’s failure in 1643. You are not a visitor, Aurora Carter. You are a convergence.” Unease coiled in Aurora’s stomach, the kind that came not from fear but from recognition. She thought of her flat above the bar, of the delivery routes she walked with Yu-Fei Cheung, of the abusive ex-name Evan she had left behind, of Eva who had pulled her to London, of the crescent scar on her wrist, a physical reminder that some wounds never fully close but become part of the geography of the body. She was twenty-five, five feet six, and she had never felt so small and so vast at once. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said, and the honesty felt like a confession. “You don’t need to,” Isolde said, and for a moment she was not a seer but a sister, ageless and knowing. “You only need to look.” Aurora looked at the pool. In the water, she saw not her reflection but a version of herself that had never left Cardiff, a version still tied to law books and safe choices, still wearing a smile that didn’t reach her bright blue eyes. And beside her, she saw Nyx—not as shadow but as Aldric, a human sorcerer in 1643, trapped in a ritual that had not been meant for failure, his violet eyes then human and terrified, his voice then loud with desperation. And she saw Isolde, not as she was now but as she had been, a child with silver hair that had not yet turned to waist length, walking in a grove that was then open to the Fae Courts, before exile had taught her to speak in riddles, before she had learned that truth could be shaped like a blade. The pool shimmered, and Aurora realized with a sudden, cold clarity that the grove was not merely a place but a moment—an hour inside that could be minutes outside, or days, or years. The wildflowers around them were not growing; they were blooming in cycles compressed into seconds, their colors shifting with the light that came from the amber sky of Dymas reflected in the water, a light that was neither sun nor star but the warmth of a portal, the pulse of her own pendant. “The Wardens watch,” she said aloud, not sure if she was quoting lore or inventing it. Isolde smiled again. “They watch. They do not always see what is already inside.” Aurora’s fingers closed around the blade. Its coldness was a shock, a clear boundary between her fear and her will. She stepped closer to the pool, and the water did not ripple at her approach, but the sky above—the real sky, the London sky—began to show through the amber, a faint shimmer, the Veil visible to her now because she carried both the crimson stone and the moonsilver edge, because Nyx’s shadow had brushed her shoulder, because Isolde had spoken the words that made time bend. “The blade was given,” Isolde said, following her, leaving no prints, her feet hovering slightly above the moss as if the grove itself was holding her. “The pendant was given. The shadow came seeking a gate. Together, you are the key that opens, or the door that closes.” Aurora looked at Nyx. The Shade was becoming less solid, more wind, but their violet eyes remained, glowing with an intensity that spoke of 1643, of failure, of a life lost to become a bridge between realms. “I didn’t ask for any of this,” Aurora said, but her voice was steady, cool-headed, intelligent, quick-thinking. “No,” Isolde agreed. “But the grove does not ask permission. It asks only if you are prepared to forget the clock.” And in that forgetting, Aurora stepped to the pool’s edge. She held out her left wrist, the small crescent scar visible, the silver chain glinting with crimson warmth. The blade in her right hand was a leaf of cold moonlight. The shadow beside her was both companion and warning. The water was not water. It was the Veil itself, thin and breathing, and as Aurora leaned closer—not to drink, but to see—she felt the world shift. The wildflowers turned to silver, the oak stones groaned as if remembering their purpose, and time outside the grove, whatever time it was, paused. “Is this where we go,” she asked, “into Hel?” Isolde’s answer was a riddle wrapped in the smell of herbs and honey: “The gluttony of one realm is the hunger of another. You carry Dymas in your chest, and you carry Fae in your hand. The Shadow is your guide. What you seek is not a door, Aurora Carter. It is a choice.” Aurora looked at the reflection one last time—at herself, at the girl she had been, at the woman she was becoming. She thought of the delivery routes she had walked with Yu-Fei Cheung, of the flat above Silas’ bar where she lived with her scar and her pendant and her blade, of the friend Eva who had pulled her to London, of the villain Evan whose name she no longer spoke aloud. She was not a lawyer. She was not safe. She was a convergence of gifts and wounds, standing at the edge of a pool that was neither earth nor Fae nor Hel but the space between them, where a sorcerer’s failure had become a shadow’s gift, and a seer’s exile had become a grove that welcomed those who could forget the clock. “Then let’s choose,” Aurora said, and her voice was cool, precise, and unafraid. She lowered the blade—not to strike, but to offer it to the water, to the Veil, to the amber warmth that was the sky of Gluttony reflected in her heart. The crimson pendant blazed brighter, a pulse of warmth near a portal, and the shadow of Nyx wrapped around her like a cloak made of wind, a whisper carrying the sound of a door opening that had been locked since 1643. The grove accepted them. Time moved differently, but they moved with it, deeper into the ancient, otherworldly place, where discovery and unease and wonder lived intertwined, and where Aurora Carter, with her black hair and bright blue eyes, her crescent scar and her silver chain, her cold blade and her shadow companion, finally understood that she had not merely entered a hidden clearing. She had entered her own story, and it was only just beginning.
created_at"2026-09-01T14:05:30.934Z" 9/1/2026, 2:05:30 PM
model"thinkingmachines/inkling-small-20260730"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency5020
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time161547
tokens_prompt1547
tokens_completion8140
native_tokens_prompt1540
native_tokens_completion7110
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning4170
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.009302
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.19.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1788271530-q2bahpvNHLQCBpwxZQsa"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1788271530-7HB1ofbImqx3f7kUNXJP"
upstream_id"7e4083b4-aws_ue1"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"0ed263b7-f746-4eb6-a14c-54f2e1cc2269"
id"7e4083b4-aws_ue1"
is_byokfalse
latency5019
model_permaslug"thinkingmachines/inkling-small-20260730"
provider_name"Together"
status200
total_cost0.009302
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Together"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags22
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"Aurora said aloud [aloud]"
1"she said aloud [aloud]"
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.71
leniency1
rawRatio0.091
effectiveRatio0.091
97.85% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2327
totalAiIsmAdverbs1
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
46.28% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2327
totalAiIsms25
found
0
word"warmth"
count9
1
word"whisper"
count3
2
word"weight"
count1
3
word"flickered"
count1
4
word"pulsed"
count1
5
word"pulse"
count3
6
word"could feel"
count1
7
word"stomach"
count1
8
word"reminder"
count1
9
word"shimmered"
count1
10
word"intensity"
count1
11
word"glinting"
count1
12
word"otherworldly"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"whisper"
2"weight"
3"flickered"
4"pulsed"
5"pulse"
6"could feel"
7"stomach"
8"reminder"
9"shimmered"
10"intensity"
11"glinting"
12"otherworldly"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences97
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences97
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences110
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen68
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2315
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions23
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
80.23% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions114
wordCount1935
uniqueNames33
maxNameDensity1.4
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Richmond2
Park2
Aurora27
Carter2
Heartstone2
Pendant2
Boundary1
London6
Isolde16
Half-Fae1
Fae-Forged2
Blade2
Nyx9
Eva2
Cardiff3
Evan2
Yu-Fei3
Cheung3
Golden1
Empress1
University1
Veil4
Shade2
Barrier1
English1
Dymas2
Gluttony2
Fae6
Earth1
Hel2
Unease1
Aldric1
Courts1
persons
0"Aurora"
1"Carter"
2"Pendant"
3"Boundary"
4"Isolde"
5"Nyx"
6"Eva"
7"Evan"
8"Yu-Fei"
9"Cheung"
10"Shade"
11"Dymas"
12"Gluttony"
13"Unease"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Cardiff"
4"Veil"
5"English"
6"Fae"
globalScore0.802
windowScore0.833
57.41% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences81
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"spiral that seemed to pull the eye downward"
1"felt like a confession"
2"as if remembering their purpose, and time outside the grove, whatever time it was, paused"
0.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches18
per1kWords7.775
wordCount2315
matches
0"not by accident but by the insistence of her childhood friend Eva, who had pulle"
1"not gradually but in a single, clean cut"
2"no longer London damp but"
3"not in a circle but in a spiral"
4"not London’s grey but an amber warmth, the color of Dymas’s sky, Gluttony’s endles"
5"not only for answers but because Isolde had promised her one, years ago, in a vision"
6"neither Fae nor"
7"not from fear but from recognition"
8"not a seer but a sister, ageless"
9"not her reflection but a version of herself"
10"not as shadow but as Aldric, a human sorcerer in 1643, trapped in a ritual"
11"not as she was now but as she had been, a child with silver hair"
12"not merely a place but a moment"
13"neither sun nor"
14"not ripple at her approach, but the sky above"
15"not to drink, but to see"
16"neither earth nor"
17"not to strike, but to offer it to the water, to the Veil, to the amber warmth"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences110
matches
0"learned that truth"
1"understood that she"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs47
mean49.26
std33.06
cv0.671
sampleLengths
0121
156
2111
327
4124
528
66
783
875
928
1052
1175
1228
1368
1417
1518
16104
1727
1818
1929
2089
2173
2292
2315
2426
255
2679
2760
2886
2916
3014
3186
3248
3337
3417
3521
3649
3751
389
3954
4072
4162
4213
4371
444
4559
4612
87.18% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences97
matches
0"was shaped"
1"been hidden"
2"been meant"
3"was, paused"
4"been locked"
26.28% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs307
matches
0"was pulsing"
1"was leaving"
2"were speaking"
3"was tasting"
4"was quoting"
5"were blooming"
6"was quoting"
7"was holding"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount12
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences110
ratio0.1
matches
0"The Half-Fae seer was three hundred years old and spoke in riddles, but her presence was gentler than her reputation; she had given Aurora the Fae-Forged Blade in the flat above Silas’ bar three nights prior, a moonsilver dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, always cold to the touch, luminescent in moonlight, capable of cutting through magical wards and particularly effective against demons."
1"The air changed character—no longer London damp but something older, mineral-rich, like the breath inside a mouth that remembered being a cave."
2"The faint shimmering distortion of the Veil—visible only to those with supernatural sight—was stronger here, a tremor in the air that made her vision waver at the edges."
3"Isolde led them deeper, past the first ring of standing stones—there were more, older, half-buried in moss and roots, arranged not in a circle but in a spiral that seemed to pull the eye downward."
4"And beside her, she saw Nyx—not as shadow but as Aldric, a human sorcerer in 1643, trapped in a ritual that had not been meant for failure, his violet eyes then human and terrified, his voice then loud with desperation."
5"The pool shimmered, and Aurora realized with a sudden, cold clarity that the grove was not merely a place but a moment—an hour inside that could be minutes outside, or days, or years."
6"The wildflowers around them were not growing; they were blooming in cycles compressed into seconds, their colors shifting with the light that came from the amber sky of Dymas reflected in the water, a light that was neither sun nor star but the warmth of a portal, the pulse of her own pendant."
7"She stepped closer to the pool, and the water did not ripple at her approach, but the sky above—the real sky, the London sky—began to show through the amber, a faint shimmer, the Veil visible to her now because she carried both the crimson stone and the moonsilver edge, because Nyx’s shadow had brushed her shoulder, because Isolde had spoken the words that made time bend."
8"It was the Veil itself, thin and breathing, and as Aurora leaned closer—not to drink, but to see—she felt the world shift."
9"Aurora looked at the reflection one last time—at herself, at the girl she had been, at the woman she was becoming."
10"She lowered the blade—not to strike, but to offer it to the water, to the Veil, to the amber warmth that was the sky of Gluttony reflected in her heart."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount475
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount12
adverbRatio0.02526315789473684
lyAdverbCount5
lyAdverbRatio0.010526315789473684
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences110
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences110
mean21.05
std16.11
cv0.766
sampleLengths
025
120
232
32
46
536
620
728
88
98
1019
1123
1261
1317
1410
1510
1622
1762
1830
1911
2017
216
2215
2322
244
2529
2613
274
2811
2922
3030
318
3228
3317
3420
3515
363
3721
3828
3923
4019
419
424
4322
4442
4517
467
4711
4835
4915
30.91% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats21
diversityRatio0.2818181818181818
totalSentences110
uniqueOpeners31
35.84% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences93
matches
0"Roughly the size of a"
ratio0.011
86.67% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount31
totalSentences93
matches
0"She touched the small crescent-shaped"
1"Their violet eyes glowed faintly,"
2"Her silver hair, reaching her"
3"She wore no shoes, left"
4"It was colder now, biting"
5"She had come to this"
6"She lived in a flat"
7"They stepped between the standing"
8"They bloomed in clusters of"
9"They were fixtures arranged with"
10"She spoke in riddles, always,"
11"It was near enough to"
12"they whispered, and the word"
13"It was colder now, moonsilver"
14"It could cut through magical"
15"It was effective against demons."
16"She didn’t know if that"
17"She thought of her flat"
18"She was twenty-five, five feet"
19"she said, and the honesty"
ratio0.333
0.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount86
totalSentences93
matches
0"The oak standing stones stood"
1"London’s autumn rain had muffled"
2"She touched the small crescent-shaped"
3"A gift with no return"
4"Nyx stood beside her, a"
5"Their violet eyes glowed faintly,"
6"Her silver hair, reaching her"
7"She wore no shoes, left"
8"The Half-Fae seer was three"
9"Nyx whispered, though the word"
10"Aurora adjusted her grip on"
11"It was colder now, biting"
12"She had come to this"
13"She lived in a flat"
14"Isolde said, and her invitation"
15"They stepped between the standing"
16"The moment Aurora crossed, the"
17"The air changed character—no longer"
18"The wildflowers were wrong."
19"They bloomed in clusters of"
ratio0.925
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences93
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences52
technicalSentenceCount18
matches
0"She touched the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist, a childhood accident that had left a permanent geography, and felt the silver chain of the Heartst…"
1"A gift with no return address, given by a benefactor she had never met, and now it was pulsing with a faint inner glow, a warmth that spoke of places where the …"
2"Their violet eyes glowed faintly, a color that had no business in London dusk, and their voice, when they spoke, came like a whisper carried on the wind."
3"She had come to this hidden grove in Richmond Park not by accident but by the insistence of her childhood friend Eva, who had pulled her from Cardiff and away f…"
4"The air changed character—no longer London damp but something older, mineral-rich, like the breath inside a mouth that remembered being a cave."
5"They bloomed in clusters of impossible color around her: blues that matched her own bright eyes, golds that glowed from within, reds like the crimson heartbeat …"
6"The faint shimmering distortion of the Veil—visible only to those with supernatural sight—was stronger here, a tremor in the air that made her vision waver at t…"
7"A faint warmth, deep crimson against her sternum, a heartbeat that was not her own, pulsed in rhythm with her own pulse."
8"It was near enough to a rift point that Aurora could feel the warmth spreading through her chest, as though the gem itself was tasting the air, recognizing a do…"
9"Isolde led them deeper, past the first ring of standing stones—there were more, older, half-buried in moss and roots, arranged not in a circle but in a spiral t…"
10"At its center stood a pool of water so still it acted as a mirror for the sky, except the sky reflected was not London’s grey but an amber warmth, the color of …"
11"She thought of her flat above the bar, of the delivery routes she walked with Yu-Fei Cheung, of the abusive ex-name Evan she had left behind, of Eva who had pul…"
12"In the water, she saw not her reflection but a version of herself that had never left Cardiff, a version still tied to law books and safe choices, still wearing…"
13"And beside her, she saw Nyx—not as shadow but as Aldric, a human sorcerer in 1643, trapped in a ritual that had not been meant for failure, his violet eyes then…"
14"The wildflowers around them were not growing; they were blooming in cycles compressed into seconds, their colors shifting with the light that came from the ambe…"
15"She stepped closer to the pool, and the water did not ripple at her approach, but the sky above—the real sky, the London sky—began to show through the amber, a …"
16"The Shade was becoming less solid, more wind, but their violet eyes remained, glowing with an intensity that spoke of 1643, of failure, of a life lost to become…"
17"The wildflowers turned to silver, the oak stones groaned as if remembering their purpose, and time outside the grove, whatever time it was, paused."
0.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags22
uselessAdditionCount8
matches
0"The Half-Fae seer was three hundred years old and spoke in riddles, but her presence was gentler than her reputation; she had given Aurora the Fae-Forged Blade in the flat above Silas’ bar three nights prior, a moonsilver dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, always cold to the touch, luminescent in moonlight, capable of cutting through magical wards and particularly effective against demons"
1"Nyx whispered, though the word felt more like an exhalation than speech"
2"Isolde said, and her invitation was shaped like a riddle"
3"Isolde said, her voice a riddle with teeth"
4"they whispered, and the word carried on wind that did not blow"
5"she said, and the honesty felt like a confession"
6"Aurora said, but her voice was steady, cool-headed, intelligent, quick-thinking"
7"Aurora said, and her voice was cool, precise, and unafraid"
11.11% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags18
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"The Half-Fae seer was three hundred years old and spoke in riddles (be speak)"
1"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
2"they whispered (whisper)"
3"Isolde continued (continue)"
4"Isolde agreed (agree)"
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.581
leniency1
rawRatio0.278
effectiveRatio0.278
65.1252%