Run: 2026-09-02-01M1HJ1EC49YEBTF2A6ZRXAJRQ

Run Details

Duration:
3m 34s
Cost:
$0.004968
Provider:
Alibaba

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The Veil gave way with a sound like a spoon dragging across an empty plate. Aurora felt it peel over her arms and throat, a cool, oily slide that left a taste of copper at the back of her mouth, and then the last of London’s winter fell away behind her heel. Ahead, Dymas opened. The first thing she saw was the sky: not black, not blue, but amber. It was the warm gold of honey held against a window, thin and deep at the same time, and it did not sit above the world so much as spill across it. The light had weight. It pressed against Aurora’s shoulders, warmed the wet ends of her hair, made the small pendant at her throat pulse in sudden answer. No one spoke. That was how she knew they had entered something that had never been theirs. They came down a stair that was no stair at all, only a series of shelf-like ledges cut into red earth and strewn with petals so thick they squeaked. Below, vineyards spread in broad terraces. The vines were black-trunked, their leaves a deep blue-green and glossy as if they had been rubbed with oil. Grape clusters hung low, too large, too heavy, some bursting open and weeping violet juice down trellises shaped like fingers. The smell reached her before the first row did: figs, cinnamon, roasting sugar, old wine, meat browning in butter, everything too much, too close, as if someone had taken a kitchen, a garden, and a banquet hall and folded them into the air. Aurora kept her hands visible, one near the silver chain of the Heartstone, the other resting on the edge of her coat where the Fae blade lay hidden under its folded sleeve. The moonsilver had glowed faintly in the Richmond moon, a cold leaf in the dark. Here, with no moon to answer it, it was only an icy shape against her ribs. She was glad of the cold. “Stay between us,” Isolde said. She did not look back as she said it. The half-Fae seer stood at the head of the path, her waist-long silver hair moving although no breeze touched the amber sky. Her pale lavender eyes swept the orchard beyond the vines, and her lips curved with the careful blankness of someone who had promised not to lie and had not promised to tell anything else. Nyx came last, which made Aurora’s chest tighten. The shade was rarely behind anyone. In solid form he stood at six foot two, a humanoid silhouette cut from night and trimmed with violet fire, but here the light was wrong. Dymas had no proper shadow for him to slip through. The darkness pooled thin under the vines, not enough to hide him or feed him. Nyx’s edges blurred, and for a moment he seemed as though he might be smeared across the ground. “This is not a shadow,” Nyx said, voice a whisper carried on wind. It came from everywhere and nowhere, brushing her ear. “It is hunger wearing the shape of shade.” “Then don’t feed it,” Aurora said. Her voice sounded flat in the rich air, swallowed almost before it left her mouth. They moved deeper. The path carried them under a trellis where clusters of black pears hung from golden threads. The threads hummed faintly, a high sweetness like crystal struck with silver. One pear split as Aurora passed, not falling, opening in slow wet folds to reveal pale flesh that steamed. The scent hit her: warm vanilla, clove, something animal and fresh, and her stomach gave a traitorous clench. She looked away. “Good,” Isolde murmured, without seeming to. “The table is set, but the meal is not offered.” Aurora thought of Evan, how he used to put food on the floor and call it kindness when she was hungry. She thought of Eva’s flat in London, the way a kitchen could be safe only when someone else did not decide what it was for. “Does everything here want to be eaten?” she asked. Isolde’s no-footprints made the petals silent; even Dymas did not seem to claim her. “Only what forgets it is meat,” the seer said. A cold finger traced Aurora’s small crescent scar. She rubbed it without thinking, and the motion drew her attention to the vines ahead. Between two rows, a figure moved in a white coat that had once been bright. It was human-shaped, but its movements were too smooth, too patient, like someone acting out a memory of work. A silver tray balanced on one hand, and from somewhere above its head floated a second tray, as if it had learned how to ignore its arms. The figure’s face was soft and blank, the eyes wet and distant, and when it glanced toward them, Aurora saw the inside of a wrist marked with a sigil. A ward, she realized. Not protection. A leash. Nyx’s silhouette flickered. “They are not the Gluttony,” he whispered. “They are its menu.” The words landed with ugly clarity. Aurora looked down the row and saw more white figures working, lifting, kneading, plucking fruit from trees that grew from stone pots carved into open mouths. In the distance, between orchard terraces, she caught the gleam of a feast hall, its roof held up by columns of braided bread. Silver bells hung under the eaves, and when a breeze of hot oven air moved them, they made a sound like knives being sharpened. The pendant grew warm against her collarbone, then hot. Aurora pressed her fingers to it. The deep crimson stone, small as a thumbnail, pulsed with an inner light. It was not just near a portal. It was reacting to something in Dymas itself, some old hunger answering its own name. “There,” she said, before she could decide not to. A tear hung between two trellises of saffron crocuses, a shimmering distortion in the amber air. It looked like heat above pavement, only it was cold to the eye and rimmed with a faint blue film that reminded her of the Veil she had just crossed. Around it, the vine leaves had curled into protective spirals. A ward lay woven through them, tight and brittle, and Aurora felt the Fae blade shift in its sleeve as if it had noticed first. Isolde stopped. She did not touch it. “The door that was not watched is now,” she said. “Wardens?” Aurora asked. “They walked when the Veil was thin. Now they smell of frost and empty plates.” Nyx drifted closer. His solid outline narrowed in the bright amber light, and he held a hand out without touching. The shadow beneath the ward thinned even more, and the shade seemed to recoil. “I cannot open it. There is no dark for me to cut through.” “Isolde?” The seer shook her head, silver hair flowing over one shoulder. “I see the lock,” she said. “I do not eat the key.” Aurora pulled the dagger free. Moonsilver leaf blade, slender, always cold. In Dymas’s warm air it left a bead of frost on her thumb. The Fae blade had been given to her by Isolde for this: to cut through magical wards, to hurt demons. She wondered, absurdly, if it counted as a demon when it was a realm. She stepped up to the crocuses and let the tip touch the ward. The air gave a single, wet note, like a fork on a tooth. The blue rim shivered. Leaves blackened at their edges, not from fire but from the ward breaking its own promise. Aurora pushed the blade sideways, feeling for the seam, and it opened without weight. Behind it, the distortion widened into an arch. Warmth rushed out. It was not the honeyed warmth of the sky. It was oven warmth, human warmth, the breath of a room packed too full of eating. The smell of bread crust and burnt caramel washed over her, and with it came sound: laughter, glass clinking, a voice booming over a crowd. A culinary competition? The thought was almost funny. In a place where people worked without eyes, someone held a contest. Nyx moved to her shoulder. “Do not look too long,” he whispered. “The eye is the first appetite.” But Aurora looked. Through the arch, a garden spread below the next terrace, laid out like a kitchen counter. Herbs grew in rows of jade and flame. Peppers hung from vines like small lanterns, red and orange and white. Mushrooms fanned out in shelves, their caps dusted with flour that moved on its own. In the center stood a round table carved from a single slab of honeycomb. Plates rose and fell around it, and above them floated hands—no bodies, just hands—serving, testing, tasting, dropping crumbs that became beetles and scurrying before they hit the ground. The pendant burned. Aurora staggered back, and her shoulder hit a pear tree. The bark was warm and yielded, as if it had flesh beneath. She twisted from it, breath sharp. “It knows what it wants,” Nyx said, and for once the whisper held no tease. His violet eyes were brighter, almost afraid. “It wants us to be hungry.” Isolde stood very still, her face turned toward the arch but her body angled back. Aurora had learned to watch the half-Fae’s feet as much as her words. No footprints in the petal dust. No shadow under the amber light. She was there and not there, speaking like a person and moving like a question. “The door is open,” Isolde said. “The room is not empty.” Aurora looked through the arch again. The floating hands stopped moving. For one long breath, the garden was silent. Then a tray tilted, sending a cascade of sugared figs across the honeycomb table. The figs rolled in neat rows, all of them aiming at Aurora’s feet. The sound of knives tapped once, somewhere inside the hall. She grabbed the Fae blade tighter. The cold of it steadied her. “Go back to the Veil?” Nyx asked, already moving to shadow himself behind a vine, though the light made his hiding poor. Isolde’s lips moved, almost smiled. “The Gluttony does not release what it has already chewed.” Aurora’s mind turned through choices. The arch behind them, if it still existed. The tear in front, pulsing with pendant heat. The floating hands beginning to rise. The blank-faced workers turning toward her, not running, only noticing, like diners remembering a new dish had been placed in front of them. She did not like being anyone’s dish. “Stay on the path,” she said, voice low. “If anything touches you, I cut it. If anything offers you food, you ask yourself whether you’re already hungry. If you’re not, you didn’t need to come here.” Nyx let out a soft wind-laugh. “You sound like a delivery person.” “I am a delivery person.” Aurora set her jaw. “And I hate leaving food on the doorstep.” The figs stopped just short of her boots. The warm air thickened, and beyond the orchard rows the amber sky deepened toward a color Aurora had no name for: richer than sunset, closer to the inside of a mouth. A bell rang once, slow and enormous, and the vineyards answered by leaning toward it. Aurora stepped through the arch. Dymas opened wider, ancient and greedy, and for the first time in her life, Aurora Carter went looking for something on a plate that might be a way home.
created_at"2026-09-02T17:18:10.878Z" 9/2/2026, 5:18:10 PM
model"qwen/qwen3.8-flash-20260826"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency5871
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time207743
tokens_prompt1547
tokens_completion11110
native_tokens_prompt1671
native_tokens_completion10475
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning7965
native_tokens_cached1536
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.004968076
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.19.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1788369490-unLMinfW2IAk50ikNu8y"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1788369490-0vKVPJT1UMfIpIlvLe3Y"
upstream_id"chatcmpl-742df5ef-d05a-9dd3-aa06-5020d8f215fb"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"84b1e4a7-5aed-4464-818f-1994f0b4ee18"
id"chatcmpl-742df5ef-d05a-9dd3-aa06-5020d8f215fb"
is_byokfalse
latency5871
model_permaslug"qwen/qwen3.8-flash-20260826"
provider_name"Alibaba"
status200
total_cost0.004968076
cache_discount0.000205824
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Alibaba"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags17
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.548
leniency1
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
97.39% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1915
totalAiIsmAdverbs1
found
0
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
63.45% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1915
totalAiIsms14
found
0
word"weight"
count2
1
word"pulse"
count1
2
word"whisper"
count2
3
word"crystal"
count1
4
word"stomach"
count1
5
word"traced"
count1
6
word"flickered"
count1
7
word"pulsed"
count1
8
word"warmth"
count4
highlights
0"weight"
1"pulse"
2"whisper"
3"crystal"
4"stomach"
5"traced"
6"flickered"
7"pulsed"
8"warmth"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences141
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences141
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seem to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences155
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen43
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1913
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions63
wordCount1714
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity1.46
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Veil2
London2
Dymas6
Aurora25
Heartstone1
Fae6
Richmond1
Evan1
Eva1
Isolde8
Nyx9
Carter1
persons
0"Veil"
1"Dymas"
2"Aurora"
3"Fae"
4"Evan"
5"Eva"
6"Isolde"
7"Nyx"
8"Carter"
places
0"London"
1"Richmond"
globalScore0.771
windowScore0.667
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences104
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"looked like heat above pavement, only it"
43.18% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.568
wordCount1913
matches
0"not black, not blue, but amber"
1"not blue, but amber"
2"not from fire but from the ward breaking its own promise"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences155
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs59
mean32.42
std29
cv0.894
sampleLengths
052
13
273
317
4117
569
65
765
883
930
1021
113
1265
133
1416
1546
169
1723
18113
198
2014
2179
229
2341
249
2581
2617
273
2815
2947
301
3123
3258
3313
3455
353
3650
3720
3818
393
4093
413
4228
4328
4455
4511
4611
4745
4812
4922
95.31% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences141
matches
0"been rubbed"
1"being sharpened"
2"been given"
3"been placed"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs289
matches
0"was reacting"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount2
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences2
totalSentences155
ratio0.013
matches
0"Isolde’s no-footprints made the petals silent; even Dymas did not seem to claim her."
1"Plates rose and fell around it, and above them floated hands—no bodies, just hands—serving, testing, tasting, dropping crumbs that became beetles and scurrying before they hit the ground."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1725
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"waist-long silver hair"
adverbCount54
adverbRatio0.03130434782608696
lyAdverbCount11
lyAdverbRatio0.006376811594202898
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences155
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences155
mean12.34
std8.31
cv0.673
sampleLengths
015
137
23
314
432
54
623
73
814
929
106
1119
1220
1343
1432
1515
1616
176
185
199
2022
2134
228
236
2426
2510
2615
2718
2813
299
308
316
3215
333
3416
3512
3619
3718
383
396
4010
4121
4225
439
4414
459
468
4715
4815
4919
41.94% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats15
diversityRatio0.3096774193548387
totalSentences155
uniqueOpeners48
25.84% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences129
matches
0"Then a tray tilted, sending"
ratio0.008
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount29
totalSentences129
matches
0"It was the warm gold"
1"It pressed against Aurora’s shoulders,"
2"They came down a stair"
3"She was glad of the"
4"She did not look back"
5"Her pale lavender eyes swept"
6"It came from everywhere and"
7"Her voice sounded flat in"
8"They moved deeper."
9"She looked away."
10"She thought of Eva’s flat"
11"She rubbed it without thinking,"
12"It was human-shaped, but its"
13"It was not just near"
14"It was reacting to something"
15"she said, before she could"
16"It looked like heat above"
17"She did not touch it."
18"His solid outline narrowed in"
19"She wondered, absurdly, if it"
ratio0.225
33.64% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount110
totalSentences129
matches
0"The Veil gave way with"
1"Aurora felt it peel over"
2"The first thing she saw"
3"It was the warm gold"
4"The light had weight."
5"It pressed against Aurora’s shoulders,"
6"That was how she knew"
7"They came down a stair"
8"The vines were black-trunked, their"
9"Grape clusters hung low, too"
10"The smell reached her before"
11"Aurora kept her hands visible,"
12"The moonsilver had glowed faintly"
13"Here, with no moon to"
14"She was glad of the"
15"She did not look back"
16"The half-Fae seer stood at"
17"Her pale lavender eyes swept"
18"Nyx came last, which made"
19"The shade was rarely behind"
ratio0.853
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences129
matches(empty)
ratio0
62.37% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences71
technicalSentenceCount8
matches
0"They came down a stair that was no stair at all, only a series of shelf-like ledges cut into red earth and strewn with petals so thick they squeaked."
1"The vines were black-trunked, their leaves a deep blue-green and glossy as if they had been rubbed with oil."
2"The smell reached her before the first row did: figs, cinnamon, roasting sugar, old wine, meat browning in butter, everything too much, too close, as if someone…"
3"Her pale lavender eyes swept the orchard beyond the vines, and her lips curved with the careful blankness of someone who had promised not to lie and had not pro…"
4"Aurora looked down the row and saw more white figures working, lifting, kneading, plucking fruit from trees that grew from stone pots carved into open mouths."
5"It looked like heat above pavement, only it was cold to the eye and rimmed with a faint blue film that reminded her of the Veil she had just crossed."
6"Plates rose and fell around it, and above them floated hands—no bodies, just hands—serving, testing, tasting, dropping crumbs that became beetles and scurrying …"
7"Dymas opened wider, ancient and greedy, and for the first time in her life, Aurora Carter went looking for something on a plate that might be a way home."
66.18% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags17
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Isolde murmured, without seeming to"
1"she said, voice low"
56.25% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags16
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Isolde murmured (murmur)"
1"he whispered (whisper)"
2"he whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences31
tagDensity0.516
leniency1
rawRatio0.188
effectiveRatio0.188
81.5403%