Run: 2026-09-03-01M1KYGK6S5H7SGENNHVVMYPVB

Run Details

Duration:
4m 10s
Cost:
$0.039444
Provider:
Tencent

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4415" name="Lucien Moreau" aliases="Lucien, Luc, the Frenchman" pronouns="he/him" species="Half-Demon" storyRole="Ally"> <eyeColor>heterochromatic — one amber, one black</eyeColor> <hair>slicked-back platinum blond</hair> <height>5'11"</height> <age>32</age> <cane>ivory-handled cane that conceals a thin blade</cane> <dress>tailored charcoal suits</dress> <description>An impeccably dressed fixer and information broker in London's supernatural underworld. He speaks four languages fluently.</description> <backstory>Born in Marseille to a human mother and a demon father from the realm of Avaros.</backstory> </character> <location id="858" name="Eva's Flat" aliases="Eva's place, the flat on Brick Lane" realm="Earth"> <cat>tabby cat named Ptolemy</cat> <security>three deadbolts on the front door</security> <description>A cramped one-bedroom flat above a curry house on Brick Lane, East London. Every surface is covered with books, scrolls, and research notes.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the romance genre. Two people who parted on complicated terms are forced together again when one shows up unannounced at the other's flat. There's history between them — attraction, hurt, and things left unsaid. Write the scene from the moment the door opens. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The knock came at ten past ten, just as Rory was scraping the last of the Golden Empress’s special fried rice from a takeaway container. She was sitting cross-legged on the threadbare rug in Eva’s cramped living room, a scroll on the Black Death—or maybe medieval weather magic, the title was half in Latin and half in something that made her eyes water—spread open in front of her. Ptolemy, Eva’s tabby, was stalking the frayed edge of the parchment with the focused intent of a hunter. The flat smelled of cumin, fried onions, and old paper, a combination that was so essentially Eva that Rory’s chest gave a small, familiar pang. Her friend was three days into a six-week research trip to the Bodleian, which meant Rory had the flat, the cat, and the profound quiet of someone else’s life to herself. Then came the knock. Three sharp raps, no bell. Rory froze, the plastic fork halfway to her mouth. Nobody knocked like that. Deliveries came to the ground-floor door of the curry house, and Eva’s friends texted before they ascended the narrow stairs. Ptolemy’s ears swiveled toward the door, tail twitching. Rory set the container down, got to her feet, and wiped her hands on the thighs of her leggings. She was wearing an ancient Cardiff University t-shirt, her straight, shoulder-length black hair shoved into a careless bun, and the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist stood out pale against her skin in the dim light. She crossed the room, sidestepping a leaning tower of leather-bound books and a stack of research notes that looked one sneeze away from collapse, and stopped at the door. “Who is it?” she called, proud of how level she sounded. No answer. Just a shifting of weight outside, a faint, ragged breath. Then, a voice. Low, accented, painfully familiar. “Rory.” Her heart slammed against her ribs. For a second she thought she’d imagined it—that the stress of the last few months and the ghost of him had finally conjured something out of the brick and mortar of Brick Lane. But then he spoke again. “Please. Open the door.” She reached for the first deadbolt. It was stiff, as always. Eva had installed three of them after a break-in two years ago, and the heavy brass bolts had always made Rory feel safe. Now, sliding them back one by one, she felt anything but. The door swung inward. Lucien Moreau stood in the dim hallway, the Marseille-born half-demon looking for all the world like a fallen angel who’d lost a fight with something nasty. He was immaculate, as always—tailored charcoal suit, platinum blond hair slicked back from a face that belonged on a Renaissance fresco—but the effect was ruined by the dark, wet stain spreading across his left side and the way he was listing heavily against his cane. The ivory handle was gripped in a white-knuckled fist. Rory knew exactly what that cane concealed: a thin, wickedly sharp blade that he could draw and use before most people could blink. But he wasn’t drawing it now. He was just standing there, his heterochromatic eyes—one warm amber, one fathomless black—locked onto her face with an intensity that made her breath catch. “Hello, Aurora,” he said, his French accent wrapping around her full name like a caress. Rory’s fingers tightened on the doorframe. She told herself it was to keep her upright. “You have got to be kidding me.” He swayed. “I’m bleeding on your friend’s doormat,” he said, faintly. “May I come in? Or would you prefer I collapse in the hallway?” Every instinct she had screamed at her to slam the door. She’d rehearsed it enough times over the eight months since he’d walked out of her life. She’d imagined the satisfying thud of the deadbolts shooting home, the finality of it. But he was hurt, and Rory Carter—cool-headed, practical, annoyingly out-of-the-box Rory—had never been able to turn her back on a problem, especially one that showed up looking like a fallen angel who’d lost a fight with something nasty. “You’re not dying on Eva’s rug,” she said flatly. “She’d kill me if I let you ruin the upholstery.” A faint, pained smile touched his mouth—the same one that had made her stomach flip a lifetime ago. “Noted.” She stepped back, opening the door wider. Lucien lurched over the threshold, and Ptolemy, the traitorous cat, immediately wound around his legs, purring loud enough to be heard over the traffic outside. Lucien reached down with a shaking hand to scratch the tabby’s ears, and something in Rory’s chest cracked wide open. He’d always had a soft spot for strays. It was one of the first things she’d learned about him, back when she’d thought she was learning him for good. “Sit,” she ordered, steering him toward the battered armchair wedged between a bookshelf and a precarious stack of scrolls. He sank into it with a barely suppressed groan, his cane clattering to the floorboards. She fetched the first-aid kit from the bathroom—Eva kept it stocked with both human bandages and, given her line of research, a few things that smelled faintly of herbs and copper. Kneeling in front of him, Rory uncapped a bottle of antiseptic. Up close, she could see the tear in his suit jacket, the ugly gash beneath it. Clean-edged. Precise. Demon steel, maybe, or something worse from the realm of Avaros where his father had come from. The thought sent a chill through her. “Take off the jacket,” she said. He obeyed, his movements stiff with pain. Rory kept her eyes on the wound, on the task, refusing to let herself drown in the sheer, overwhelming fact of him. But she could feel his gaze like a physical weight—one amber eye and one black eye tracking her every move, lingering on her face, her hair, the scar on her wrist. “So,” she said, pouring antiseptic onto a gauze pad. Her hands were steady. That was something, at least. “Are you going to tell me why you’re really here? Because the last time we spoke, you made it pretty damn clear I was a liability. A distraction. You said—” She broke off, the memory sharp enough to draw blood. “You said some things, Lucien. And then you left.” His jaw tightened. A muscle jumped in his cheek. “I said a lot of things that night. None of them were true.” She pressed the gauze to his side. He sucked in a sharp breath but didn’t pull away. “Don’t,” she whispered, hating the way her voice wavered. “Don’t come here bleeding and broken and say things like that just because you need somewhere to crash.” “It’s the truth,” he said, low and urgent. “I pushed you away because you were the only person who ever made me want to be something other than what I am. Half-demon, fixer, information broker. You made me want to be a man who deserved you. And that terrified me more than anything in Avaros ever could.” Rory’s breath caught. She focused very hard on the wound, on the smear of blood and antiseptic, on the fact that her hands had started to shake. She remembered the last night they’d spent together, the argument that had shattered everything. He’d told her she was too breakable, too human, that her quick, sideways way of thinking would get her killed in his world. She’d thrown a vase at him—it had missed, shattering against the wall of his office, and he hadn’t even flinched. Then he’d walked out, and she’d spent eight months trying to forget the way he’d looked at her right before it all went wrong. “You have a funny way of showing it,” she managed. “Eight months. Not a single word. Do you have any idea what that was like? I thought I meant something to you.” His hand moved, slowly, giving her time to pull away. When she didn’t, he reached out and brushed his thumb over the inside of her left wrist, right over the small crescent-shaped scar. The touch was feather-light, but it sent fire racing up her arm, pooling low in her belly. “You did,” he murmured. “You do. I thought about you every day, Aurora. Every damn day. I watched you from a distance—made sure you were safe. When I heard you were staying here, feeding Ptolemy for Eva, I told myself I’d keep my distance. But there’s something coming, Rory. Something tied to your past.” He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was carefully, brutally neutral. “Your ex. Evan.” The antiseptic bottle slipped from Rory’s fingers and hit the rug with a dull thud. Ptolemy bolted from the room. She barely noticed. The name hit her like a fist to the solar plexus. Evan. The reason she’d fled Cardiff with nothing but a backpack and a childhood friend’s phone number. The reason she still checked over her shoulder in crowds, still woke up some nights with her heart racing. “What about Evan?” she asked, her voice ice. Lucien’s expression darkened, the amber eye nearly glowing. “He’s in London. And he’s not alone. He’s been asking questions about you—about what you can do, about who you know. He’s gotten himself involved with some very bad people, Rory. Supernatural people. I came to warn you.” Rory lifted her gaze, her bright blue eyes locking onto his mismatched ones, and felt her breath catch all over again. The room tilted slightly. The scent of curry and old books was suddenly suffocating. She was aware of Lucien’s hand still on her wrist, warm and grounding, aware of the steady pressure of his thumb against her scar, aware of the fact that he’d come back because of her—because he cared, and because he was scared of what Evan might do. “So you came here,” she said slowly, “because of Evan.” “I came here because I couldn’t let him find you without me,” Lucien said, raw and honest. “And because I am a selfish, stupid man who needed to see you. Even if you hate me for it.” The admission hung there between them, fragile as glass. Rory looked at him—really looked at him. The sharp angles of his face, paler than usual beneath the stain of blood. The few strands of platinum hair that had escaped his slicked-back style and clung to his temple. The way he was looking at her, like she was the only solid thing in a spinning world. She should be furious. She was furious. But under the anger, under the hurt of eight months of silence, was the same treacherous, undeniable pull she’d felt the first time he’d smirked at her across a smoky room, back when she’d been nothing but a delivery girl with a smart mouth and a knack for getting out of trouble. The attraction hadn’t faded. If anything, it had sharpened into something painful and bright and impossible to ignore. “You’re an idiot,” she whispered. “I know,” he said, a faint, crooked smile tugging at his mouth. She picked up a fresh bandage with hands that had finally stopped shaking, and set to work securing it over the wound. Her movements were efficient, precise—cool-headed Rory, always solving the problem in front of her. But her mind was racing ahead, turning over the new information, the threat of Evan, the fact that Lucien was here, in Eva’s cramped, book-choked flat, looking at her like she was everything. When she finished, she sat back. She didn’t move away from his touch. Neither did he. “So what now?” she asked, hating the vulnerability in the question. “You warn me, and then what? You disappear again? Another eight months of silence?” Lucien’s gaze didn’t waver. “No. Now I stay. If you’ll let me. I’ll sleep on the floor, I’ll deal with Eva’s cat trying to murder me in my sleep, I’ll be whatever you need. But I’m not leaving you to face Evan alone. Not again.” Rory’s throat felt tight. There was so much left unsaid between them—so much hurt, so much longing, so many things she wanted to demand and confess. She wanted to make him bleed a little emotionally the way she had. But he was already bleeding physically, and despite everything, despite the eight months and the silence and the way he’d shattered her trust, she knew one thing with absolute clarity. She’d missed him. God help her, she’d missed him so much it hurt. She stood, her knees protesting, and crossed to the door. One by one, she shot the three deadbolts home, the heavy thunks echoing in the quiet flat. When she turned back, Lucien was watching her, his cane resting against the armchair, his expression open and unguarded in a way she’d never seen. “Okay,” she said, leaning back against the door, her voice barely above a whisper. “You can stay. But we’re going to talk, Lucien. Really talk. No more running, no more noble sacrifices. You owe me that much.” He nodded, something like relief and hope flickering across his face. “I owe you everything.” Ptolemy slunk back into the room, tail twitching, and jumped onto Lucien’s lap as if to seal the agreement. Lucien stroked the tabby’s fur, never taking his eyes off Rory. Outside, Brick Lane carried on—car horns, laughter, the clatter of the curry house below. But in the cramped, cluttered flat above it all, the world had narrowed to just the two of them, and the dangerous, fragile thing rebuilding itself between them. Rory pushed off from the door and moved toward the small kitchenette to put the kettle on, hyperaware of Lucien’s gaze following her. “And you’re explaining everything,” she added over her shoulder. “Starting with how a half-demon fixer ends up bleeding on my friend’s doormat, and ending with why Evan thinks he can just walk back into my life.” Behind her, she heard the soft creak of the armchair as Lucien settled in, the whisper of the cat’s purr. “It’s a long story,” he said, the ghost of a smile in his voice. “But I have all night. And this time, Aurora, I’m not going anywhere.” Rory closed her eyes for a brief second, swallowing the sudden, fierce ache in her chest. Then she reached for two mugs, and got to work.
created_at"2026-09-03T15:34:32.419Z" 9/3/2026, 3:34:32 PM
model"tencent/hy4-preview-20260827"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1648
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time249697
tokens_prompt788
tokens_completion16604
native_tokens_prompt783
native_tokens_completion15733
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning12411
native_tokens_cached704
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.039443687
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.19.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1788449672-7Bt2Yex5i5kqrkhPujY7"
session_id(null)
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api_type"completions"
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provider_responses
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is_byokfalse
latency1647
model_permaslug"tencent/hy4-preview-20260827"
provider_name"Tencent"
status200
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cache_discount0.000557568
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data_region"global"
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags22
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said flatly [flatly]"
1"she said slowly [slowly]"
dialogueSentences42
tagDensity0.524
leniency1
rawRatio0.091
effectiveRatio0.091
75.10% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2410
totalAiIsmAdverbs12
found
0
adverb"wickedly"
count1
1
adverb"really"
count3
2
adverb"very"
count2
3
adverb"slowly"
count2
4
adverb"carefully"
count1
5
adverb"slightly"
count1
6
adverb"suddenly"
count1
7
adverb"barely above a whisper"
count1
highlights
0"wickedly"
1"really"
2"very"
3"slowly"
4"carefully"
5"slightly"
6"suddenly"
7"barely above a whisper"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
48.13% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2410
totalAiIsms25
found
0
word"familiar"
count2
1
word"pang"
count1
2
word"profound"
count1
3
word"weight"
count2
4
word"intensity"
count1
5
word"stomach"
count1
6
word"lurched"
count1
7
word"chill"
count1
8
word"could feel"
count1
9
word"wavered"
count1
10
word"shattered"
count2
11
word"racing"
count3
12
word"silence"
count3
13
word"treacherous"
count1
14
word"efficient"
count1
15
word"echoing"
count1
16
word"whisper"
count2
highlights
0"familiar"
1"pang"
2"profound"
3"weight"
4"intensity"
5"stomach"
6"lurched"
7"chill"
8"could feel"
9"wavered"
10"shattered"
11"racing"
12"silence"
13"treacherous"
14"efficient"
15"echoing"
16"whisper"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"sent a shiver through"
count1
highlights
0"sent a chill through"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells2
narrationSentences140
matches
0"was scared"
1"was furious"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences140
filterMatches
0"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"started to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences160
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen64
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2388
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions28
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions69
wordCount1902
uniqueNames21
maxNameDensity1.16
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory22
Golden1
Empress1
Eva7
Black1
Death1
Latin1
Bodleian1
Cardiff2
University1
Brick2
Lane2
Moreau1
Marseille-born1
Renaissance1
French1
Carter1
Ptolemy5
Avaros1
Lucien13
Evan3
persons
0"Rory"
1"Empress"
2"Eva"
3"Moreau"
4"Carter"
5"Ptolemy"
6"Lucien"
7"Evan"
places
0"Latin"
1"Bodleian"
2"Cardiff"
3"Brick"
4"Lane"
5"Marseille-born"
globalScore0.922
windowScore0.833
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences102
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"something like relief and hope flickering ac"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2388
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences160
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs56
mean42.64
std29.15
cv0.684
sampleLengths
025
1117
24
346
485
511
619
71
844
94
1045
114
12103
1330
1415
1522
1624
1779
1819
1919
2081
2165
2253
236
2460
2567
2622
2744
2857
29108
3032
3150
3270
3370
348
3546
3682
3710
3837
3965
4077
415
4212
4369
4416
4525
4645
4769
4813
4952
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences140
matches
0"was ruined"
1"was gripped"
0.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount13
totalVerbs314
matches
0"was scraping"
1"was sitting"
2"was stalking"
3"was wearing"
4"was listing"
5"wasn’t drawing"
6"was just standing"
7"was learning"
8"was suddenly suffocating"
9"was looking"
10"was racing"
11"was already bleeding"
12"was watching"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount20
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences14
totalSentences160
ratio0.088
matches
0"She was sitting cross-legged on the threadbare rug in Eva’s cramped living room, a scroll on the Black Death—or maybe medieval weather magic, the title was half in Latin and half in something that made her eyes water—spread open in front of her."
1"For a second she thought she’d imagined it—that the stress of the last few months and the ghost of him had finally conjured something out of the brick and mortar of Brick Lane."
2"He was immaculate, as always—tailored charcoal suit, platinum blond hair slicked back from a face that belonged on a Renaissance fresco—but the effect was ruined by the dark, wet stain spreading across his left side and the way he was listing heavily against his cane."
3"He was just standing there, his heterochromatic eyes—one warm amber, one fathomless black—locked onto her face with an intensity that made her breath catch."
4"But he was hurt, and Rory Carter—cool-headed, practical, annoyingly out-of-the-box Rory—had never been able to turn her back on a problem, especially one that showed up looking like a fallen angel who’d lost a fight with something nasty."
5"A faint, pained smile touched his mouth—the same one that had made her stomach flip a lifetime ago."
6"She fetched the first-aid kit from the bathroom—Eva kept it stocked with both human bandages and, given her line of research, a few things that smelled faintly of herbs and copper."
7"But she could feel his gaze like a physical weight—one amber eye and one black eye tracking her every move, lingering on her face, her hair, the scar on her wrist."
8"She’d thrown a vase at him—it had missed, shattering against the wall of his office, and he hadn’t even flinched."
9"She was aware of Lucien’s hand still on her wrist, warm and grounding, aware of the steady pressure of his thumb against her scar, aware of the fact that he’d come back because of her—because he cared, and because he was scared of what Evan might do."
10"Rory looked at him—really looked at him."
11"Her movements were efficient, precise—cool-headed Rory, always solving the problem in front of her."
12"There was so much left unsaid between them—so much hurt, so much longing, so many things she wanted to demand and confess."
13"Outside, Brick Lane carried on—car horns, laughter, the clatter of the curry house below."
79.98% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1938
adjectiveStacks3
stackExamples
0"small crescent-shaped scar"
1"small crescent-shaped scar."
2"same treacherous, undeniable pull"
adverbCount82
adverbRatio0.04231166150670795
lyAdverbCount29
lyAdverbRatio0.014963880288957688
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences160
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences160
mean14.93
std11.42
cv0.765
sampleLengths
025
143
218
325
431
54
65
79
84
920
108
1119
1237
1329
1411
152
1610
173
184
191
206
2133
225
234
246
255
2623
2711
284
2926
3045
319
3223
336
3424
3515
366
379
387
392
409
4113
4211
4316
4414
4538
469
4710
4818
491
50.42% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats11
diversityRatio0.34375
totalSentences160
uniqueOpeners55
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount5
totalSentences131
matches
0"Then came the knock."
1"Just a shifting of weight"
2"Then, a voice."
3"Then he’d walked out, and"
4"Then she reached for two"
ratio0.038
52.06% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount55
totalSentences131
matches
0"She was sitting cross-legged on"
1"Her friend was three days"
2"She was wearing an ancient"
3"She crossed the room, sidestepping"
4"she called, proud of how"
5"Her heart slammed against her"
6"She reached for the first"
7"It was stiff, as always."
8"He was immaculate, as always—tailored"
9"He was just standing there,"
10"he said, his French accent"
11"She told herself it was"
12"he said, faintly"
13"She’d rehearsed it enough times"
14"She’d imagined the satisfying thud"
15"she said flatly"
16"She stepped back, opening the"
17"He’d always had a soft"
18"It was one of the"
19"she ordered, steering him toward"
ratio0.42
63.05% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount104
totalSentences131
matches
0"The knock came at ten"
1"She was sitting cross-legged on"
2"Ptolemy, Eva’s tabby, was stalking"
3"The flat smelled of cumin,"
4"Her friend was three days"
5"Rory froze, the plastic fork"
6"Nobody knocked like that."
7"Deliveries came to the ground-floor"
8"Ptolemy’s ears swiveled toward the"
9"Rory set the container down,"
10"She was wearing an ancient"
11"She crossed the room, sidestepping"
12"she called, proud of how"
13"Her heart slammed against her"
14"She reached for the first"
15"It was stiff, as always."
16"Eva had installed three of"
17"The door swung inward."
18"Lucien Moreau stood in the"
19"He was immaculate, as always—tailored"
ratio0.794
76.34% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences131
matches
0"Now, sliding them back one"
1"If anything, it had sharpened"
ratio0.015
45.01% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences73
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"She was sitting cross-legged on the threadbare rug in Eva’s cramped living room, a scroll on the Black Death—or maybe medieval weather magic, the title was half…"
1"The flat smelled of cumin, fried onions, and old paper, a combination that was so essentially Eva that Rory’s chest gave a small, familiar pang."
2"Her friend was three days into a six-week research trip to the Bodleian, which meant Rory had the flat, the cat, and the profound quiet of someone else’s life t…"
3"Lucien Moreau stood in the dim hallway, the Marseille-born half-demon looking for all the world like a fallen angel who’d lost a fight with something nasty."
4"He was immaculate, as always—tailored charcoal suit, platinum blond hair slicked back from a face that belonged on a Renaissance fresco—but the effect was ruine…"
5"He was just standing there, his heterochromatic eyes—one warm amber, one fathomless black—locked onto her face with an intensity that made her breath catch."
6"But he was hurt, and Rory Carter—cool-headed, practical, annoyingly out-of-the-box Rory—had never been able to turn her back on a problem, especially one that s…"
7"She fetched the first-aid kit from the bathroom—Eva kept it stocked with both human bandages and, given her line of research, a few things that smelled faintly …"
8"She remembered the last night they’d spent together, the argument that had shattered everything."
9"The touch was feather-light, but it sent fire racing up her arm, pooling low in her belly."
79.55% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags22
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"he said, faintly"
1"he said, the ghost of a smile in his voice"
30.95% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags19
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"she ordered (order)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
2"he murmured (murmur)"
3"she whispered (whisper)"
4"she added (add)"
dialogueSentences42
tagDensity0.452
leniency0.905
rawRatio0.263
effectiveRatio0.238
79.4641%