Run: 2026-09-23-01M36W66HQCS8H4YFT20QK8VK0

Run Details

Duration:
2m 1s
Cost:
$0.003206
Provider:
Xiaomi

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The mist in Richmond Park had teeth. Rory felt it the moment they left the deer path — a cold that had nothing to do with the December air, sliding under her jacket and finding the small crescent scar on her left wrist, which had ached like that once before, on the night she'd left Cardiff with nothing but a rucksack and Eva's address. She shoved her hands into her pockets and kept walking. Behind her, Isolde moved without a sound, silver hair dragging in the wet bracken and leaving no trail, no print, nothing to prove she'd ever been there at all. Behind Isolde, the dark between the birches thickened and thinned in the shape of a person, and two points of faint violet light marked where a face should have been. "You're certain about this," Rory said. Not a question. She'd learned not to phrase things as questions around the seer. "The oak remembers what the park forgets," Isolde said. Her lavender eyes caught the last grey light and gave nothing back. "Walk far enough in and you will find a place that has been waiting since before your London laid its first stone. Whether it is glad of your company — that, I did not see." "Comforting." "Honest." Isolde smiled, and the mist curled around her like something glad to be touched. "Which is not the same as kind." The standing stones resolved out of the fog one at a time, the way stars do when you stop looking directly at them. Not stone at all — oak, nine trunks of it, grey and seamless and older than the trees that grew around them, though nothing in Richmond Park should have been that old. Their bark was carved in shallow spirals that caught no moss, no lichen, as if the small green patient things of the world had agreed to keep their distance. Rory counted nine and then could not make herself count a tenth, though she had the sense of more, further out, folded out of sight like the corners of a room too large to take in. "Rift gate," said Nyx behind her, in a voice like wind pushed through a keyhole. Their shadow stretched toward the ring of oaks and then hesitated, flattening back against the ground the way water pulls from a shore. "The Veil is thin here. You will feel it cross your skin. Do not stop walking. Stopping is an invitation." "Invitation to what?" The violet eyes dimmed a moment. "I have never found out. That is why I do not stop." Rory looked at the Heartstone pendant beneath her shirt. She didn't need to lift it. The little crimson gem had gone warm against her sternum — not the faint background warmth it had held since a benefactor she'd never met had pressed it into her hand in a cardboard box marked for delivery, but a steady low pulse, like a second heart keeping time with her own. She thought of what Nyx had told her in Silas' bar, three nights and a lifetime ago: it warms near a door to Hel. She put one foot between two oaks and the world changed. It was not dramatic. That was the worst part. There was no flash, no thunder, only a sensation like stepping out of a too-warm room into cool air, and then the mist was gone and the sky was not the sky. Above the clearing hung a light with no source, pearly and slow, the colour of the inside of an oyster shell. It fell on wildflowers — acres of them, nodding in a breeze she could not feel, blue and violet and a red so deep it looked like the colour of the pendant's glow made solid. The air tasted of turned earth and honey and something electric, like the moment before a storm breaks. Somewhere, water moved over stone, unhurried, as though it had been doing this since the world was young and intended to continue. Rory's breath left her in a way she hadn't given it permission to. The flowers moved as they walked, and not in the wind. Heads of pale blue turned to follow Isolde, who waded through them waist-deep at the meadow's edge and left not one stem bent behind her. Rory's own passage crushed a small riot of them; she watched their petals spring back up after her boots, shaking themselves like offended cats, and pressed her lips together so she wouldn't laugh out loud at something that was very possibly a person. "This way," Isolde said, and the meadow gave way to a stair. It had been cut, once. Now it was mostly root and moss and the patient gnawing of centuries, descending in a spiralling curve around the base of something that rose and rose and kept rising, out of the meadow, into that sourceless pearly light. A tower, Rory thought, and then: no — a trunk. The biggest oak that had ever been or would ever be, wide as the flat above Silas' bar, its bark scored with the same blind spiral carvings as the standing stones. The grove's wildflowers grew out of its higher forks in drifting islands of colour, whole meadows in the sky, shedding petals that fell for a long time before they landed. "In the elder days the Fae did not build," Isolde said, running a fingertip along a spiral that glowed faintly under her touch and then went dark again. "They persuaded. Stone, wood, water — everything here agreed to be a thing. That is why it feels alive to you. It is. Rudely, insistently so. Keep your hand from the walls." Rory had been about to touch the carvings. She took her hand back. The stair opened into a hall. Roots made the ceiling — an interlocking weave of them, thick as a man's chest, and caught in the lattice were motes of that pearly light that drifted and pulsed like slow sleepers breathing. The floor was a single unbroken sweep of pale stone, and set into it at intervals were discs of black rock each marked with a spiral, and each spiral, when Rory looked at it directly, appeared to turn very slightly the wrong way. Her stomach lurched. She fixed her eyes on Nyx instead, who had gone solid at some point during the descent — six-foot-two of dense, light-drinking dark, their edges not quite matching the shape of a person, as if the person they'd been had been a suggestion and this was an argument against it. Nyx was staring at the far wall. "There are pictures," Rory said. "Yes." The whisper did not sound like wind just then. It sounded like something being torn slowly in half. "Walk with me. Please." The murals had been painted in mineral blues and that deep impossible red, on plaster laid directly over living root. Fae figures in procession — tall, slender, crowned with antler and branch, their faces averted, always averted, the way the artist had painted them as if to look on a full Fae face was not permitted. They carried offerings toward a pit rendered in black: fruit, grain, small struggling things, a great horned stag borne on twelve shoulders. Below the pit, painted in strokes so fine they might have been drawn with a single hair, figures knelt in postures of devotion. And beside the pit, standing apart, one figure had been painted in smoke. Rory knew smoke. She'd watched enough of it curl off Evan's cigarettes in the blue dark of a Cardiff kitchen to know how it moved, and this figure was made of it — a shape like a person with nothing inside, and where its face should have been, two round marks in a violet so faint the painter had despaired of mixing it. "Nyx," she said quietly. "I was summoned to a place like this." Their voice had gone thin and far away, the sound a hearth makes when the fire is nearly out. "In 1643. The circle was wrong. I remember the red — the paint, the fruit, the light. Aldric thought he was calling something to serve him. He did not understand that the door is the same in both directions, and that he had built it wrong, and so he went through instead." A hand of living shadow rose and hovered over the painted figure without touching it. "They built this to feed a hole. It is still hungry. Look down, Rory. Not up. Look down." She looked. The floor was not pale stone. It was pale stone over darkness, and in the centre of the hall — where the spirals converged, where the discs of black rock pointed their wrong-way turning — a shaft dropped away into warm amber light, faint and far below, and out of it came not cold but a rich, indolent heat, thick with the smell of roasting fruit and cut vine and something sweeter beneath, something that made her mouth fill with water even as every hair on her body stood up. The Heartstone against her chest was burning. "Gluttony," Isolde said. She stood at the shaft's edge with her silver hair lifting in the updraft, and for the first time Rory saw something in that ageless face that looked like appetite, though whether for the warmth or the danger she could not tell. "Dymas. Belphegor's country. There is a door here that the Fae sealed and the Wardens never found, and it has been breathing up through the roots of my grove for three hundred years, and I have been sitting on it like a hen on a very bad egg." "You knew," Rory said. "You knew and you didn't tell the Wardens." "I cannot lie." Isolde turned, and the amber light made her lavender eyes look almost gold. "I did not say I could not be silent. If the Wardens came here, they would seal it with iron and salt and the grove would die, and I am — attached — to my grove. So. I have misled by omission, which is permitted, and I have waited for someone who could walk down there and come back with answers instead of questions. She has a scar that will not close and a temper she keeps in a box. He has been hungry since 1643 and knows hunger's grammar." Her smile was rueful and ancient and not entirely kind. "Neither of you asked to be chosen. That is why I chose you." Nyx's violet eyes had gone bright. Below, the amber light breathed, and with it came a sound — not a roar or a roar of voices, but a murmur, enormous and drowsy and infinitely full, the noise of a feast that had been going on since the pit was dug and would not end until everything had been eaten. Rory crouched at the shaft's edge and held a hand over it. The heat curled around her fingers, lazy and affectionate. Her mouth still watered. The pendant pulsed like a fist opening and closing. "There's a stair," she said, because there was — cut into the shaft's wall, spiralling down the way the great oak's stair had spiralled in, only this one was black stone and worn smooth as glass by something that had descended it over and over and over. "Someone's been using it. Recently. Look at the dust — it's been swept on the treads but not the risers. Whoever it is, they're careful and they're in a hurry, or they come this way often enough that they only clean where they put their feet." Isolde's smile did not change, but something behind it did. "You see why I wanted you." "I see that you didn't answer me." "I never do. It is my one indulgence." Before they began the descent, the seer drew something from the folds of her grey coat. A dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, sheathed in leather so old it looked like birch bark, and even sheathed it was cold — Rory took it and hissed, the metal biting her palm through the wrap with a cold that felt almost alive. She drew it a hand's width and moonlight ran along the edge, though there was no moon in this place. "Moonsilver," Isolde said. "Fae-forged, and there are perhaps six such blades left in any realm. It cuts what should not be cut — wards, oaths, demon flesh. I have carried it since before your city was called a city, and I am giving it to you because I am tired and you are not." She closed Rory's fingers around the hilt with hands that were warm as summer, and did not let go for a moment. "It will be cold forever. Do not warm it. Cold is what it is for." Rory looked at the blade, at the seer, at the dark shape of Nyx already standing at the top of the black stair with their shadow spilling downward ahead of them like water finding its level. Below, Dymas breathed its amber breath up the shaft, patient as a stomach, patient as the earth. She thought of Cardiff. She thought of a door she had walked out of and never once looked back at. She thought: I am very good at leaving places. Down, then. Cold steel in her fist, a hot stone against her heart, and the light below brightening with every step as if the place below had noticed them, and was laying another setting at the table.
created_at"2026-09-23T10:15:10.653Z" 9/23/2026, 10:15:10 AM
model"xiaomi/mimo-v2.6-pro-20260921"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1927
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time121191
tokens_prompt1547
tokens_completion3930
native_tokens_prompt1566
native_tokens_completion3664
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning849
native_tokens_cached1536
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.003206259
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.20.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1790158510-ZOEtiXPSS9G4DYELY5dZ"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1790158510-vMYJqeZ2Hj2ccAUwl7fw"
upstream_id"6fd5a59b-8828-473c-a083-0e01166f65eb_a5d9b638673f4c0385a09f2a62fd0830"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"4354fc36-b8ab-4ced-aa8c-0efb6b4523f1"
id"6fd5a59b-8828-473c-a083-0e01166f65eb_a5d9b638673f4c0385a09f2a62fd0830"
is_byokfalse
latency1847
model_permaslug"xiaomi/mimo-v2.6-pro-20260921"
provider_name"Xiaomi"
status200
total_cost0.003206259
cache_discount0.00066263
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Xiaomi"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags17
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"she said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.486
leniency0.971
rawRatio0.059
effectiveRatio0.057
86.63% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2243
totalAiIsmAdverbs6
found
0
adverb"very"
count4
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"slightly"
2"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
68.79% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2243
totalAiIsms14
found
0
word"comforting"
count1
1
word"resolved"
count1
2
word"sense of"
count1
3
word"warmth"
count2
4
word"pulse"
count1
5
word"electric"
count1
6
word"pulsed"
count2
7
word"stomach"
count2
8
word"lurched"
count1
9
word"whisper"
count1
10
word"almost alive"
count1
highlights
0"comforting"
1"resolved"
2"sense of"
3"warmth"
4"pulse"
5"electric"
6"pulsed"
7"stomach"
8"lurched"
9"whisper"
10"almost alive"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences91
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences91
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"tended to"
1"appeared to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences108
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen98
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2264
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions27
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Below, Dymas breathed its amber breath up the shaft, patient as a stomach, patient as the earth."
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions49
wordCount1710
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity0.99
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Isolde"
discoveredNames
Richmond2
Park2
December1
Cardiff3
Eva1
Isolde11
Nyx6
Heartstone2
Rory17
Fae2
Evan1
Dymas1
persons
0"Eva"
1"Isolde"
2"Nyx"
3"Rory"
4"Fae"
5"Evan"
6"Dymas"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"Cardiff"
3"Heartstone"
globalScore1
windowScore1
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences73
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"looked like the colour of the pendant's g"
1"not quite matching the shape of a person, as if the person they'd been had been a suggestion and this was an argument against it"
2"sounded like something being torn slowly i"
3"looked like appetite, though whether for"
4"looked like birch bark, and even sheathed"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.883
wordCount2264
matches
0"not cold but a rich, indolent heat, thick with the smell of roasting frui"
1"not a roar or a roar of voices, but a murmur, enormous"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences108
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs46
mean49.22
std43.84
cv0.891
sampleLengths
07
1126
220
356
41
522
6120
758
83
918
1091
1111
12137
1313
1479
1512
16115
1760
1813
196
20130
217
225
2323
24101
2513
2663
274
28112
292
3090
317
3293
3312
34129
3559
3634
3793
3816
397
408
4178
4291
4353
4429
4537
74.42% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount8
totalSentences91
matches
0"was carved"
1"was gone"
2"being torn"
3"been painted"
4"been drawn"
5"been painted"
6"was made"
7"was dug"
8"been eaten"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs260
matches
0"was staring"
1"was burning"
2"was laying"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount14
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences14
totalSentences108
ratio0.13
matches
0"Rory felt it the moment they left the deer path — a cold that had nothing to do with the December air, sliding under her jacket and finding the small crescent scar on her left wrist, which had ached like that once before, on the night she'd left Cardiff with nothing but a rucksack and Eva's address."
1"Not stone at all — oak, nine trunks of it, grey and seamless and older than the trees that grew around them, though nothing in Richmond Park should have been that old."
2"The little crimson gem had gone warm against her sternum — not the faint background warmth it had held since a benefactor she'd never met had pressed it into her hand in a cardboard box marked for delivery, but a steady low pulse, like a second heart keeping time with her own."
3"It fell on wildflowers — acres of them, nodding in a breeze she could not feel, blue and violet and a red so deep it looked like the colour of the pendant's glow made solid."
4"Rory's own passage crushed a small riot of them; she watched their petals spring back up after her boots, shaking themselves like offended cats, and pressed her lips together so she wouldn't laugh out loud at something that was very possibly a person."
5"A tower, Rory thought, and then: no — a trunk."
6"Roots made the ceiling — an interlocking weave of them, thick as a man's chest, and caught in the lattice were motes of that pearly light that drifted and pulsed like slow sleepers breathing."
7"She fixed her eyes on Nyx instead, who had gone solid at some point during the descent — six-foot-two of dense, light-drinking dark, their edges not quite matching the shape of a person, as if the person they'd been had been a suggestion and this was an argument against it."
8"Fae figures in procession — tall, slender, crowned with antler and branch, their faces averted, always averted, the way the artist had painted them as if to look on a full Fae face was not permitted."
9"She'd watched enough of it curl off Evan's cigarettes in the blue dark of a Cardiff kitchen to know how it moved, and this figure was made of it — a shape like a person with nothing inside, and where its face should have been, two round marks in a violet so faint the painter had despaired of mixing it."
10"It was pale stone over darkness, and in the centre of the hall — where the spirals converged, where the discs of black rock pointed their wrong-way turning — a shaft dropped away into warm amber light, faint and far below, and out of it came not cold but a rich, indolent heat, thick with the smell of roasting fruit and cut vine and something sweeter beneath, something that made her mouth fill with water even as every hair on her body stood up."
11"Below, the amber light breathed, and with it came a sound — not a roar or a roar of voices, but a murmur, enormous and drowsy and infinitely full, the noise of a feast that had been going on since the pit was dug and would not end until everything had been eaten."
12"\"There's a stair,\" she said, because there was — cut into the shaft's wall, spiralling down the way the great oak's stair had spiralled in, only this one was black stone and worn smooth as glass by something that had descended it over and over and over."
13"A dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, sheathed in leather so old it looked like birch bark, and even sheathed it was cold — Rory took it and hissed, the metal biting her palm through the wrap with a cold that felt almost alive."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount793
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small green patient things"
adverbCount26
adverbRatio0.03278688524590164
lyAdverbCount5
lyAdverbRatio0.006305170239596469
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences108
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences108
mean20.96
std18.87
cv0.9
sampleLengths
07
157
210
329
430
56
63
711
89
912
1035
111
1215
137
1423
1532
1629
1736
1815
1923
2020
213
226
2312
249
256
2652
2724
2811
294
305
3132
3221
3335
3418
3522
3613
3711
3825
3943
4012
415
4239
4310
4431
4530
4628
4732
488
495
55.86% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats8
diversityRatio0.37962962962962965
totalSentences108
uniqueOpeners41
40.16% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences83
matches
0"Somewhere, water moved over stone,"
ratio0.012
80.24% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount29
totalSentences83
matches
0"She shoved her hands into"
1"She'd learned not to phrase"
2"Her lavender eyes caught the"
3"Their bark was carved in"
4"Their shadow stretched toward the"
5"She didn't need to lift"
6"She thought of what Nyx"
7"She put one foot between"
8"It was not dramatic."
9"It fell on wildflowers —"
10"It had been cut, once."
11"She took her hand back."
12"Her stomach lurched."
13"She fixed her eyes on"
14"It sounded like something being"
15"They carried offerings toward a"
16"She'd watched enough of it"
17"she said quietly"
18"Their voice had gone thin"
19"It was pale stone over"
ratio0.349
50.36% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount68
totalSentences83
matches
0"The mist in Richmond Park"
1"Rory felt it the moment"
2"She shoved her hands into"
3"She'd learned not to phrase"
4"Her lavender eyes caught the"
5"Isolde smiled, and the mist"
6"The standing stones resolved out"
7"Their bark was carved in"
8"Rory counted nine and then"
9"Their shadow stretched toward the"
10"The violet eyes dimmed a"
11"Rory looked at the Heartstone"
12"She didn't need to lift"
13"The little crimson gem had"
14"She thought of what Nyx"
15"She put one foot between"
16"It was not dramatic."
17"That was the worst part."
18"It fell on wildflowers —"
19"The air tasted of turned"
ratio0.819
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences83
matches
0"Now it was mostly root"
1"Before they began the descent,"
ratio0.024
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences45
technicalSentenceCount14
matches
0"Rory felt it the moment they left the deer path — a cold that had nothing to do with the December air, sliding under her jacket and finding the small crescent s…"
1"Not stone at all — oak, nine trunks of it, grey and seamless and older than the trees that grew around them, though nothing in Richmond Park should have been th…"
2"Their bark was carved in shallow spirals that caught no moss, no lichen, as if the small green patient things of the world had agreed to keep their distance."
3"Somewhere, water moved over stone, unhurried, as though it had been doing this since the world was young and intended to continue."
4"Heads of pale blue turned to follow Isolde, who waded through them waist-deep at the meadow's edge and left not one stem bent behind her."
5"Rory's own passage crushed a small riot of them; she watched their petals spring back up after her boots, shaking themselves like offended cats, and pressed her…"
6"The grove's wildflowers grew out of its higher forks in drifting islands of colour, whole meadows in the sky, shedding petals that fell for a long time before t…"
7"She fixed her eyes on Nyx instead, who had gone solid at some point during the descent — six-foot-two of dense, light-drinking dark, their edges not quite match…"
8"Fae figures in procession — tall, slender, crowned with antler and branch, their faces averted, always averted, the way the artist had painted them as if to loo…"
9"It was pale stone over darkness, and in the centre of the hall — where the spirals converged, where the discs of black rock pointed their wrong-way turning — a …"
10"Below, the amber light breathed, and with it came a sound — not a roar or a roar of voices, but a murmur, enormous and drowsy and infinitely full, the noise of …"
11"A dagger, slender and leaf-shaped, sheathed in leather so old it looked like birch bark, and even sheathed it was cold — Rory took it and hissed, the metal biti…"
12"Rory looked at the blade, at the seer, at the dark shape of Nyx already standing at the top of the black stair with their shadow spilling downward ahead of them…"
13"Cold steel in her fist, a hot stone against her heart, and the light below brightening with every step as if the place below had noticed them, and was laying an…"
66.18% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags17
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Isolde smiled, and the mist curled around her like something glad to be touched"
1"Isolde said, and the meadow gave way to a stair"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags11
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.314
leniency0.629
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
80.5546%