Run: 2026-09-23-01M37P4NWK2VNSQFNH2XPB5653

Run Details

Duration:
1m 14s
Cost:
$0.021321
Provider:
AionLabs

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The last of the daylight was dying over Richmond Park when Rory climbed the stile at the fence line, boots crunching through frost that hadn't softened all day. December had locked the grass into grey glass. Her breath hung in front of her face in little ghosts, and beside her, Nyx made no breath at all. "You're certain this is the place?" she asked. The Shade moved like ink poured through water, their silhouette solid one moment and a suggestion the next, violet eyes the only fixed points in the dark of them. "The Veil is thin here," they whispered, and the wind carried the words a half-second after their mouth moved, as if the sound had to travel farther than it should. "Thinner than anywhere I have felt on this island. There is a door, Aurora Carter. Doors have a texture. This one is old." "Older than the park?" "Older than the river." Rory pressed her hand against her sternum without thinking. Beneath her coat and jumper, the Heartstone pendant hung cold and still against her skin. That was the strange part. Every rift point they'd tracked across London these past weeks, the deep crimson gem had pulsed with that faint, hungry warmth, like a small animal waking. Here, at the seam of everything, it slept. She couldn't decide if that reassured her or not. They walked. The park's deer had gone to ground somewhere in the bracken, and the only sounds were the crackle of ice underfoot and the distant wash of the A3. Then the trees changed. Rory noticed it before she could name it — the oaks grew straighter here, broader, their bark unscarred by the initials and crude arrows that scarred every tree within a mile of a car park. No lightning damage. No fungus. No birds. "Stop," Nyx breathed. The standing stones rose out of the hollow ahead of her before she'd registered the slope. Seven of them, arranged in a loose, broken circle, each one shaped from timber gone the colour and grain of ancient oak — except oaks don't grow in columns, don't wear themselves smooth on every face, don't hum. Rory felt the hum in her teeth before she heard it, a note just below hearing, the sound a struck bell makes before it decides to exist. "Moss," she said, crouching. Green in December. Thick as upholstery, beaded with moisture that had no business surviving the frost ten feet behind her. She reached out, and the crescent scar on her left wrist caught the last grey light as her fingers hovered. "Can I touch it?" "You are already touching it," Nyx said. "You touched it when you decided to come. The Grove has been holding the door open since Tuesday." Rory looked up sharply. "It's Saturday." "Yes." That, somehow, was worse than anything the pendant had ever done. She stood, wiped her damp fingers on her jeans, and stepped between the two nearest stones. The world opened like a held breath released. Warmth hit her first — real warmth, June warmth, the kind that lives in south-facing windowsills — and then the light, amber shot through with violet, sourceless and soft, as if the air itself were lit from within. Rory gasped and heard the gasp come back to her a beat late, the same half-second lag as Nyx's whispers. Sound traveled strangely here. Distance behaved strangely here. The hollow she'd just left was still visible over her shoulder, the frost, the grey trees, the dying English dusk — framed between the stones like a photograph of a country she'd already left. "Oh," she said, and it was a stupid, small word and it was the only one she had. Wildflowers covered the clearing in drifts and rivers, and they were blooming. All of them, in every direction, poppies and foxgloves and things she had no names for — blossoms like spun sugar, like lanterns, like tiny cathedral windows — a whole riot of midsummer pressed flat against a December sky. Except it wasn't December's sky. Overhead, through the crowns of trees taller than any tree had a right to be, she saw a violet dusk scattered with stars, and the stars were wrong, arranged in constellations no Londoner had ever named, and low on the horizon hung a pale second moon, thin as a fingernail paring. "Time," Nyx said, and their voice had gone strange — flattened, wary. Rory turned and understood why. The Grove's light was doing something to them. Their edges were fraying like cloth in a wind, the living shadow of them pulled thin, and they had drawn darkness around themselves the way a person draws a coat — a pocket of true night moving through all that honey-colored glow. "Be careful of time here. An hour within may be minutes without. It may also be days. The Grove does not keep one clock. It keeps every clock." "Days." Rory's stomach dropped. She had a shift at the Golden Empress on Monday. She had rent. She had a life, however threadbare, sitting on a shelf outside this place, quietly expiring. "Can you tell which it is? You're between realms. You'd know." "I know that I do not know." The Shade's violet eyes flicked upward, and for the first time since Cardiff, since Evan, since all of it, Nyx looked uneasy. "That is a rarer answer than you would think." They went deeper. The grass did not crush underfoot — it yielded and rose again behind her, each blade recovering like a sleeper turning over, and after twenty paces Rory made herself stop checking over her shoulder for footprints. The flowers turned, though. That she couldn't stop noticing. Not all of them, and not quickly, but as she passed, heads of lupine and stranger blossoms rotated on their stems to follow her, unhurried, the way sunflowers track a sun. There was nothing hungry in it. It was worse than hunger. It was attention. A stream crossed their path, running clear over stones that chimed faintly when the water touched them, and the sound of it arrived before the water did — or after; she honestly couldn't tell. Somewhere overhead, unseen, something sang, three descending notes like a question mark set to music. Rory stopped. The song stopped. She counted ten of her own heartbeats. The song came again, patient, from a completely different direction. "Rory," Nyx whispered. "Someone is standing behind you. She has been standing there for some time." Rory turned. The woman stood at the edge of the flower river as if she'd grown there — silver hair to her waist, eyes a pale lavender that caught the Grove's light and held it, a face that was young and old and neither. She wore grey, and her bare feet rested on the blossoms without bending a single stem. Rory dropped her gaze to the ground anyway, to the untouched flowers, to the grass behind the woman, and found no footprints. Not one. The wildflowers bloomed behind her in an unbroken carpet, as though walking were something she had merely been told about. "You brought the blade," the woman said. Her voice was like the stream. "Good. Cold iron-starved moonsilver. It will remember this place fondly." She tilted her head. "And you brought the heart." Rory's hand went to her sternium — her sternum — and the pendant under her jumper. "You know about the pendant." "I know a heart cut from the realm of appetite when it sleeps against one," the woman said, "and I know that hearts sleep best in the quiet, and worst at the turning of the year. The solstice comes, Aurora Carter. The long dark. The Veil grows thin as paper, and things that eat paper come licking." She smiled, and it was not unkind, and it was not comfortable. "You came to ask who gave you the heart. That is not the question you should be asking. Ask instead why a prince of gluttony gives gifts." "Prince Belphegor," Rory said slowly. "Dymas." "I have said nothing," said the woman, who had clearly said everything, and her lavender eyes glittered with the pleasure of it. "I cannot lie, child. But I have had three hundred years to learn the shape of the truth, and the truth is a maze with a table set at its center." Nyx drifted forward a step, darkness rippling. "Isolde. The courts still whisper about you." "The courts whisper about everyone," Isolde said. "It is the only exercise they get." She extended one hand toward the deeper Grove, toward the violet dusk and the wrong stars and the chime of water over singing stones. "Come. You have already spent an hour of the outside world standing here being astonished. The Grove is generous with wonder and it is not generous with anything else. Walk with me, and I will mislead you honestly." Rory looked back once, at the standing stones and the framed grey scrap of English winter beyond them, before the flowers closed over the view like a hand over an eye. Then she followed the woman who left no footprints into the deep of the Grove, the cold weight of the moonsilver blade at her hip, and the sleeping heart against her chest, beginning — very faintly, so faintly she could almost call it imagination — to warm.
created_at"2026-09-23T17:48:43.817Z" 9/23/2026, 5:48:43 PM
model"aion-labs/aion-3.5-20260923"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1076
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time74033
tokens_prompt1547
tokens_completion3684
native_tokens_prompt1541
native_tokens_completion3359
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning1445
native_tokens_cached1536
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.021321
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.20.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1790185723-W3WR9GNuJNAeOguScj5v"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1790185723-uaBaKdPSJhfaZCBb5tjC"
upstream_id"bcfaf67f03f8457da2b684b66e7be2cd"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"09b1fc56-3888-42bd-b7a0-926851c7f9d6"
id"bcfaf67f03f8457da2b684b66e7be2cd"
is_byokfalse
latency1076
model_permaslug"aion-labs/aion-3.5-20260923"
provider_name"AionLabs"
status200
total_cost0.021321
cache_discount0.003456
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"AionLabs"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
85.71% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags17
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"The Shade's violet eyes flicked upward [upward]"
1"Rory said slowly [slowly]"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.486
leniency0.971
rawRatio0.118
effectiveRatio0.114
83.83% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1546
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"sharply"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"completely"
count1
3
adverb"slowly"
count1
4
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"sharply"
1"quickly"
2"completely"
3"slowly"
4"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
64.42% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1546
totalAiIsms11
found
0
word"pulsed"
count1
1
word"warmth"
count4
2
word"stomach"
count1
3
word"flicked"
count1
4
word"comfortable"
count1
5
word"whisper"
count2
6
word"weight"
count1
highlights
0"pulsed"
1"warmth"
2"stomach"
3"flicked"
4"comfortable"
5"whisper"
6"weight"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"stomach dropped/sank"
count1
highlights
0"stomach dropped"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences84
matches
0"looked uneasy"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences84
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences102
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen69
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1562
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions20
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions48
wordCount1216
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity1.23
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Richmond1
Park1
Rory15
Nyx8
Shade2
Heartstone1
London1
Green1
December4
June1
English2
Wildflowers1
Londoner1
Grove4
Golden1
Empress1
Monday1
Cardiff1
Evan1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Nyx"
2"Shade"
3"December"
4"Wildflowers"
5"Londoner"
6"Grove"
7"Evan"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Golden"
4"Cardiff"
globalScore0.883
windowScore0.833
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences52
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
71.96% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords1.28
wordCount1562
matches
0"Not all of them, and not quickly, but as she passed, heads of lupine"
1"not quickly, but as she passed, heads of lupine"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences102
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs35
mean44.63
std34
cv0.762
sampleLengths
056
18
282
34
44
572
676
73
881
948
1025
116
121
1327
148
15100
1618
17107
1895
1943
2038
2193
2271
2316
242
2558
2644
2732
2821
2996
306
3153
3214
3376
3478
96.91% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences84
matches
0"were lit"
1"been told"
63.95% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs196
matches
0"was dying"
1"were blooming"
2"was doing"
3"were fraying"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount16
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences12
totalSentences102
ratio0.118
matches
0"Rory noticed it before she could name it — the oaks grew straighter here, broader, their bark unscarred by the initials and crude arrows that scarred every tree within a mile of a car park."
1"Seven of them, arranged in a loose, broken circle, each one shaped from timber gone the colour and grain of ancient oak — except oaks don't grow in columns, don't wear themselves smooth on every face, don't hum."
2"Warmth hit her first — real warmth, June warmth, the kind that lives in south-facing windowsills — and then the light, amber shot through with violet, sourceless and soft, as if the air itself were lit from within."
3"The hollow she'd just left was still visible over her shoulder, the frost, the grey trees, the dying English dusk — framed between the stones like a photograph of a country she'd already left."
4"All of them, in every direction, poppies and foxgloves and things she had no names for — blossoms like spun sugar, like lanterns, like tiny cathedral windows — a whole riot of midsummer pressed flat against a December sky."
5"\"Time,\" Nyx said, and their voice had gone strange — flattened, wary."
6"Their edges were fraying like cloth in a wind, the living shadow of them pulled thin, and they had drawn darkness around themselves the way a person draws a coat — a pocket of true night moving through all that honey-colored glow."
7"The grass did not crush underfoot — it yielded and rose again behind her, each blade recovering like a sleeper turning over, and after twenty paces Rory made herself stop checking over her shoulder for footprints."
8"A stream crossed their path, running clear over stones that chimed faintly when the water touched them, and the sound of it arrived before the water did — or after; she honestly couldn't tell."
9"The woman stood at the edge of the flower river as if she'd grown there — silver hair to her waist, eyes a pale lavender that caught the Grove's light and held it, a face that was young and old and neither."
10"Rory's hand went to her sternium — her sternum — and the pendant under her jumper."
11"Then she followed the woman who left no footprints into the deep of the Grove, the cold weight of the moonsilver blade at her hip, and the sleeping heart against her chest, beginning — very faintly, so faintly she could almost call it imagination — to warm."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1204
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount44
adverbRatio0.036544850498338874
lyAdverbCount16
lyAdverbRatio0.013289036544850499
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences102
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences102
mean15.31
std13.65
cv0.891
sampleLengths
028
18
220
38
429
530
623
74
84
99
1015
115
1226
138
149
152
1628
174
1835
193
202
212
223
2316
2438
2527
264
273
2817
2920
304
317
3218
334
342
351
3611
3716
388
3938
4020
414
424
4334
4418
4512
4639
475
4851
4912
68.63% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats10
diversityRatio0.47058823529411764
totalSentences102
uniqueOpeners48
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences73
matches
0"Then the trees changed."
1"Somewhere overhead, unseen, something sang,"
2"Then she followed the woman"
ratio0.041
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount19
totalSentences73
matches
0"Her breath hung in front"
1"they whispered, and the wind"
2"She couldn't decide if that"
3"she said, crouching"
4"She reached out, and the"
5"She stood, wiped her damp"
6"she said, and it was"
7"Their edges were fraying like"
8"She had a shift at"
9"She had rent."
10"She had a life, however"
11"They went deeper."
12"It was worse than hunger."
13"It was attention."
14"She counted ten of her"
15"She wore grey, and her"
16"Her voice was like the"
17"She tilted her head"
18"She extended one hand toward"
ratio0.26
55.89% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount59
totalSentences73
matches
0"The last of the daylight"
1"December had locked the grass"
2"Her breath hung in front"
3"The Shade moved like ink"
4"they whispered, and the wind"
5"Rory pressed her hand against"
6"That was the strange part."
7"Every rift point they'd tracked"
8"Here, at the seam of"
9"She couldn't decide if that"
10"The park's deer had gone"
11"Rory noticed it before she"
12"The standing stones rose out"
13"Rory felt the hum in"
14"she said, crouching"
15"She reached out, and the"
16"Rory looked up sharply."
17"That, somehow, was worse than"
18"She stood, wiped her damp"
19"The world opened like a"
ratio0.808
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences73
matches(empty)
ratio0
20.41% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences35
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"Rory noticed it before she could name it — the oaks grew straighter here, broader, their bark unscarred by the initials and crude arrows that scarred every tree…"
1"Thick as upholstery, beaded with moisture that had no business surviving the frost ten feet behind her."
2"Warmth hit her first — real warmth, June warmth, the kind that lives in south-facing windowsills — and then the light, amber shot through with violet, sourceles…"
3"The woman stood at the edge of the flower river as if she'd grown there — silver hair to her waist, eyes a pale lavender that caught the Grove's light and held …"
4"The wildflowers bloomed behind her in an unbroken carpet, as though walking were something she had merely been told about."
5"Then she followed the woman who left no footprints into the deep of the Grove, the cold weight of the moonsilver blade at her hip, and the sleeping heart agains…"
95.59% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags17
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"they whispered, and the wind carried the words a half-second after their mouth moved, as if the sound had to travel farther than it should"
64.29% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags13
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"they whispered (whisper)"
1"Nyx breathed (breathe)"
2"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences35
tagDensity0.371
leniency0.743
rawRatio0.231
effectiveRatio0.171
81.8305%