Run: 2026-09-24-01M39VTY833TVKVNEE7KMC8GP2

Run Details

Duration:
1m 25s
Cost:
$0.004302
Provider:
AionLabs

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The stones were exactly where Isolde said they would be, which somehow made Rory trust them less. They stood in a ring at the bottom of a hollow in Richmond Park, seven oaks grown so old they had bent inward like old men leaning over a table, their bark fissured and silvered with lichen. Between them, the air looked wrong — not shimmering, exactly, but thick, the way glass thickens at the edge of a pane. Rory had walked this park a hundred times in her year and a half in London, delivering noodles and gossip across the city, and she had never once noticed the hollow. Now she couldn't unsee it. "You're certain the Wardens don't monitor this one?" she asked. "The Wardens watch the wounds." Isolde stood barefoot in the frost-killed grass, silver hair stirring in a wind Rory couldn't feel. She left no prints, even here. "This is not a wound. This is a door, and doors are only dangerous to those who forget which side they belong to." "That's not reassuring, Isolde." "It was not meant to reassure. It was meant to be true." The Seer's lavender eyes caught the last of the daylight. "The solstice thins the Veil for three more nights. After that, the way shuts for a season. Do you wish to reassure yourself, or enter?" Beside Rory, Nyx said nothing, because Nyx rarely said anything first. They stood at the ring's edge in their solid shape — a tall absence of light, a silhouette wearing the shape of a person — and where the floodlamps of the park path should have thrown their shadow across the grass, there was only grass. Rory had stopped finding that unnerving around the third week. Mostly. "Your stone," Nyx said, voice like a whisper moving through a reed bed. "Check your stone." Rory lifted the chain at her throat. The Heartstone pendant hung against her sternum, crimson gem no bigger than her thumbnail, and it was pulsing. Not the faint, slow warmth it gave near the rift under Silas's bar — this was quicker, brighter, the inner glow flaring like a struck match behind amber glass. "It knows the way," Isolde said, "as blood knows blood." "That's the part that worries me." She went in anyway. That was the whole trouble with Rory Carter — she always went in anyway. Crossing the boundary between the stones felt like walking through a beaded curtain made of cold water. The sensation ran over her skin from crown to heels, raised every hair she owned, and then she was through, and the park was gone. The Grove was not a clearing. The Grove was a country. Old oaks rose around her in ranks, but these were not the contorted patriarchs of the hollow — these trees were vast beyond sense, trunks wide as houses, canopies meeting overhead so far up that the sky came through in coins of green-gold light. Wildflowers covered the ground in impossible season: bluebells and poppies and snowdrops blooming side by side, a whole calendar of spring compressed into one carpet. The air smelled of honey and rain and something older underneath, something like the inside of a very old book. Somewhere a bird sang three notes and then repeated them, and repeated them, and repeated them, with the patience of something that had been singing since before Cardiff existed. "Oh," Rory said, and felt immediately stupid, and didn't care. Nyx stepped through the boundary behind her and for a moment seemed to fray — edges dissolving into smoke, the violet gleam of their eyes doubling, trebling, like a candle reflected in dark water — and then they gathered themself together and were solid again. Even they looked around. That, more than the flowers, told Rory how far from home they were. "Time is soft here," Isolde said, gliding past them both, her bare feet pressing nothing into the flowers. "Walk quickly, decide slowly. An hour within may be a breath without — or it may be a week, if you dawdle where the trees are oldest. Keep to the young wood." "How do you tell young wood from old in a place where the oaks are older than the English language?" "The young wood is where the birds sing. The old wood is where they listen." Rory decided not to ask what they listened for. They walked. The light came down in slanted columns and stayed where it landed, pooling on the flowers like spilled honey, and Rory noticed that the pools did not move, not even when she waved her hand through them. The Fae blade at her hip stayed cold — it was always cold, moonsilver kept its own weather — but here its chill felt less like a quirk and more like an anchor, a small piece of somewhere with honest winters. Her thumb found the crescent scar on her left wrist, the old habit, the small white hook of skin from a childhood accident she barely remembered. She pressed it when the beauty got to be too much. It gave her something plain to hold. The pendant pulsed harder as they went deeper. "It's speeding up," she said. "Yes," said Isolde. "Is that good?" "It is information." Nyx drifted ahead, and for several strides they were not walking at all but pouring, shadow flowing between the trunks faster than legs could carry them, and then they re-formed at the base of an oak that even in this land of giants stood apart. Its bark was black. Not dark — black, lightless, and around its roots the wildflowers did not grow. The ground there was bare earth, and the earth was wrong. It looked pressed, compacted, like clay under a kiln. "Here," Nyx whispered. Rory saw it before Isolde pointed. Hanging in the air beside the black oak, at the height of a doorknob, was a tear. The Veil, when she had glimpsed it before — through the second sight Isolde had reluctantly coaxed open in her — had looked like heat haze, a faint shimmer of somewhere else. This was not haze. This was a wound in the world about the width of her shoulders, its edges trembling, and through it came light the color of late afternoon: deep, warm, unending amber, the gold of wine held up to a window. Warm air breathed out of it, carrying a smell that made her mouth water and her stomach clench at the same time — roast meat, crushed grapes, sugar burning, and beneath all of it, faint as a stain, something sweet gone wrong. The pendant at her throat was hot now, pulsing with her heartbeat, then faster than her heartbeat, as if it had one of its own. "Dymas," Isolde said. "The Amber Realm. The table of Belphegor." Her riddling voice dropped, which was somehow worse. "Everything there is offered. Nothing there is free." Rory looked at the tear. Her breath had gone shallow. "This leads to Hel. The pendant leads to Hel. Somebody gave me a compass to *Hel*." "Or a key," said Nyx. "Stones do not choose doors. People do." "Comforting. Really. You should write a book." Isolde turned to her, and for a moment the Seer's agelessness cracked into something almost gentle. "You asked once why the benefactor gave you the Heartstone. Beyond that door is the first honest answer you will get. It pulses toward what it was made to find. What it was made to find is in there. The question is not whether you go, Rory Carter. The question is what you will be offered, and whether you will be hungry." "Great. A riddle and a warning. My two favorites." She touched the blade's cold hilt. She pressed her scar once, hard. Then she stepped through the wound in the world. The amber swallowed her whole. Heat first — not fire-heat, but the thick, ripe heat of a greenhouse full of fruit. Then the ground: soft, dark soil between her boots, terraced rows of vines climbing hills that rolled away in every direction beneath a sky the color of honey held before a lamp. There was no sun that she could find. The light came from everywhere and nowhere, warm and sourceless, and it did not angle or fade. It was three o'clock in the afternoon, forever. The vineyards went on farther than sight. Beyond them, orchards — trees hung with fruit that glowed faintly from within, pears of pale gold, plums like embers, apples that looked bitten already and yet whole. And among the rows, figures moved. Workers. Hundreds of them, bent to the harvest, and as Rory's eyes adjusted she saw the marks on their skin — dark script coiling up their forearms and throats and cheeks, contract-ink, written flesh. Helbound. They worked without looking up. They worked without pausing. One of them, near enough now, had a face she might have passed on the Northern line, grey with exhaustion, mouth moving silently around a number, counting, always counting, like the bird in the Grove singing its three notes forever. And far off, down the terraces where the vines gave way to lantern-light and white tables, there was music. Laughter. The sound of a feast — and Rory stood listening for a long moment before she understood what was wrong with it. The laughter never breathed. It rose and rose and never once paused to let anyone take air, a laugh with no lungs behind it, a hunger with no bottom. The pendant pulled, warm and insistent, toward the lights. "Don't eat anything," Isolde said, materializing beside her out of a fold in the amber air. "Don't drink. Don't accept a seat. And above all—" "I know," Rory said, and her mouth was dry, and the fruit glowed like little lanterns all down the orchard, and she had never in her life been so thirsty. "Don't be hungry." She walked toward the feast.
created_at"2026-09-24T14:06:45.01Z" 9/24/2026, 2:06:45 PM
model"aion-labs/aion-3.5-mini-20260923"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1881
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time84596
tokens_prompt1547
tokens_completion3155
native_tokens_prompt1541
native_tokens_completion2873
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning791
native_tokens_cached1536
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.00430218
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.21.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1790258805-uMuN4rLNEobwp6EyKQ8Z"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1790258805-60UD3OBjvTXwnWaGxQgF"
upstream_id"05abe5dcdad14edba99636b91dbb6caf"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"60ac3bdc-90ec-4769-9193-2c00b4d79562"
id"05abe5dcdad14edba99636b91dbb6caf"
is_byokfalse
latency1881
model_permaslug"aion-labs/aion-3.5-mini-20260923"
provider_name"AionLabs"
status200
total_cost0.00430218
cache_discount0.00079872
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"AionLabs"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags13
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences33
tagDensity0.394
leniency0.788
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
84.77% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1642
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"very"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
3
adverb"reluctantly"
count1
4
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"quickly"
2"slowly"
3"reluctantly"
4"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
81.73% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1642
totalAiIsms6
found
0
word"whisper"
count1
1
word"warmth"
count1
2
word"chill"
count1
3
word"pulsed"
count1
4
word"stomach"
count1
5
word"comforting"
count1
highlights
0"whisper"
1"warmth"
2"chill"
3"pulsed"
4"stomach"
5"comforting"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences89
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences89
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences107
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen62
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans1
markdownWords1
totalWords1661
ratio0.001
matches
0"Hel"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions17
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Beside Rory, Nyx said nothing, because Nyx rarely said anything first."
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions48
wordCount1345
uniqueNames15
maxNameDensity1.19
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Isolde10
Rory16
Richmond1
Park1
London1
Seer2
Nyx7
Heartstone1
Silas1
Carter1
Grove3
Cardiff1
Fae1
Veil1
Northern1
persons
0"Isolde"
1"Rory"
2"Seer"
3"Nyx"
4"Silas"
5"Carter"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Grove"
4"Cardiff"
globalScore0.905
windowScore0.833
32.81% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences64
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"felt like walking through a beaded curt"
1"something like the inside of a very old book"
2"looked like heat haze, a faint shimmer of"
19.39% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.806
wordCount1661
matches
0"not shimmering, exactly, but thick, the way glass thickens at the edge of a pane"
1"not walking at all but pouring, shadow flowing between the trunks faster than legs"
2"not fire-heat, but the thick, ripe heat of a greenhouse full of fruit"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences107
matches
0"noticed that the"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs47
mean35.34
std36.02
cv1.019
sampleLengths
017
195
210
350
44
547
667
716
854
910
106
1118
1242
1311
14118
1510
1662
1750
1820
1915
209
21124
228
235
243
253
263
2783
283
2923
30117
3125
3226
3326
3412
357
3678
379
3821
395
4081
41125
4271
439
4425
4533
465
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences89
matches
0"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs214
matches
0"was pulsing"
1"were not walking"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount18
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences14
totalSentences107
ratio0.131
matches
0"Between them, the air looked wrong — not shimmering, exactly, but thick, the way glass thickens at the edge of a pane."
1"They stood at the ring's edge in their solid shape — a tall absence of light, a silhouette wearing the shape of a person — and where the floodlamps of the park path should have thrown their shadow across the grass, there was only grass."
2"Not the faint, slow warmth it gave near the rift under Silas's bar — this was quicker, brighter, the inner glow flaring like a struck match behind amber glass."
3"That was the whole trouble with Rory Carter — she always went in anyway."
4"Old oaks rose around her in ranks, but these were not the contorted patriarchs of the hollow — these trees were vast beyond sense, trunks wide as houses, canopies meeting overhead so far up that the sky came through in coins of green-gold light."
5"Nyx stepped through the boundary behind her and for a moment seemed to fray — edges dissolving into smoke, the violet gleam of their eyes doubling, trebling, like a candle reflected in dark water — and then they gathered themself together and were solid again."
6"The Fae blade at her hip stayed cold — it was always cold, moonsilver kept its own weather — but here its chill felt less like a quirk and more like an anchor, a small piece of somewhere with honest winters."
7"Not dark — black, lightless, and around its roots the wildflowers did not grow."
8"The Veil, when she had glimpsed it before — through the second sight Isolde had reluctantly coaxed open in her — had looked like heat haze, a faint shimmer of somewhere else."
9"Warm air breathed out of it, carrying a smell that made her mouth water and her stomach clench at the same time — roast meat, crushed grapes, sugar burning, and beneath all of it, faint as a stain, something sweet gone wrong."
10"Heat first — not fire-heat, but the thick, ripe heat of a greenhouse full of fruit."
11"Beyond them, orchards — trees hung with fruit that glowed faintly from within, pears of pale gold, plums like embers, apples that looked bitten already and yet whole."
12"Hundreds of them, bent to the harvest, and as Rory's eyes adjusted she saw the marks on their skin — dark script coiling up their forearms and throats and cheeks, contract-ink, written flesh."
13"The sound of a feast — and Rory stood listening for a long moment before she understood what was wrong with it."
96.24% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1332
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount59
adverbRatio0.044294294294294295
lyAdverbCount10
lyAdverbRatio0.0075075075075075074
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences107
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences107
mean15.52
std12.85
cv0.828
sampleLengths
017
137
222
331
45
510
621
76
823
94
1022
1125
1211
1345
1410
151
1613
173
187
1918
2029
2110
226
234
2414
2517
2625
276
285
2944
3025
3120
3229
3310
3445
354
3613
3718
3832
3920
4015
419
422
4337
4441
4526
4611
477
488
495
71.96% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats8
diversityRatio0.4766355140186916
totalSentences107
uniqueOpeners51
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences77
matches
0"Somewhere a bird sang three"
1"Then she stepped through the"
2"Then the ground: soft, dark"
ratio0.039
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount18
totalSentences77
matches
0"They stood in a ring"
1"She left no prints, even"
2"They stood at the ring's"
3"She went in anyway."
4"Her thumb found the crescent"
5"She pressed it when the"
6"It gave her something plain"
7"Its bark was black."
8"It looked pressed, compacted, like"
9"Her riddling voice dropped, which"
10"Her breath had gone shallow."
11"She touched the blade's cold"
12"She pressed her scar once,"
13"It was three o'clock in"
14"They worked without looking up."
15"They worked without pausing."
16"It rose and rose and"
17"She walked toward the feast."
ratio0.234
76.88% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount59
totalSentences77
matches
0"The stones were exactly where"
1"They stood in a ring"
2"Rory had walked this park"
3"Isolde stood barefoot in the"
4"She left no prints, even"
5"The Seer's lavender eyes caught"
6"They stood at the ring's"
7"Rory had stopped finding that"
8"Nyx said, voice like a"
9"Rory lifted the chain at"
10"The Heartstone pendant hung against"
11"She went in anyway."
12"That was the whole trouble"
13"The sensation ran over her"
14"The Grove was not a"
15"The Grove was a country."
16"Wildflowers covered the ground in"
17"The air smelled of honey"
18"Rory said, and felt immediately"
19"Nyx stepped through the boundary"
ratio0.766
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences77
matches
0"Now she couldn't unsee it."
1"Even they looked around."
ratio0.026
71.43% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences40
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"Nyx stepped through the boundary behind her and for a moment seemed to fray — edges dissolving into smoke, the violet gleam of their eyes doubling, trebling, li…"
1"Warm air breathed out of it, carrying a smell that made her mouth water and her stomach clench at the same time — roast meat, crushed grapes, sugar burning, and…"
2"The pendant at her throat was hot now, pulsing with her heartbeat, then faster than her heartbeat, as if it had one of its own."
3"Then the ground: soft, dark soil between her boots, terraced rows of vines climbing hills that rolled away in every direction beneath a sky the color of honey h…"
86.54% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags13
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"Rory said, and her mouth was dry, and the fruit glowed like little lanterns all down the orchard, and she had never in her life been so thirsty"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags10
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Nyx whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences33
tagDensity0.303
leniency0.606
rawRatio0.1
effectiveRatio0.061
86.8364%