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Run: 2026-10-27-01M5YJEVABP747N3QH42756J9B
Run Details
Model:
GPT-6.1 Terra (Reasoning, Medium)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:
59.0s
Cost:
$0.020781
Provider:
OpenAI
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
98.40%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
80.77%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
33.33%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
47.26%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
11.99%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
28.35%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
0.00%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Technical jargon density
(details)
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
86.4699%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Fantasy genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Rory caught the boy’s wrist
as he slipped through the wall, and the wall swallowed her arm to the elbow.
Something seized her fingers from
the other side.
She braced one foot against
the stone and pulled. “Let go,”
the boy said
.
His wrist twisted in her
grip.
The skin came away, soft
as the flesh of a plum, and a narrow white hand clamped around hers.
Rory drew the Fae blade
with her free hand and slashed at the wall.
The moonsilver edge cut a
bright line through the stone.
A smell of crushed grapes
rushed out, and the boy’s face split from mouth to brow. Nyx struck him from behind.
Their shadow flowed over his
shoulders and dragged him clear of Rory.
The boy’s shape crumpled around
them like paper. “Through,” Nyx said. Rory stumbled into the cut. Cold scraped across her face, then vanished.
She landed hard on a
tiled floor, the Heartstone burning against her chest. Isolde stepped through after her.
The silver-haired seer pressed her
palm to the wound in the wall, and its edges sealed around her fingers. On the other side, something struck the stone once. Rory got to her feet. Her left hand shook.
A smear of purple flesh
clung to her cuff, just above the crescent scar on her wrist. “He looked like a child.” “Children make useful doors,” Isolde said. “That wasn’t a child.” “No. But he knew where to find one.” Rory looked at the wall. A carved arch surrounded the place where they had come through, its stonework crowded with figs, open mouths and hands holding knives.
She touched the blade to
it. The edge left a thin scratch and nothing more. Nyx gathered themself beside the arch.
Their violet eyes flickered within
the dark shape of their face. “The passage has shut,” they said. “We shall require another.” “You told me you could keep it open.” “I kept it open until something else claimed it.” Rory wiped her sleeve against the tiles. The purple stain sank into the grout.
They stood in a covered
passage, broad enough for a cart. Mosaics ran across the floor: plates piled with fruit, fish with golden bones, a woman lifting a cup to a king. Each tiny tile had a sheen like wet glass. Along one wall, roots as thick as Rory’s arm pushed through the stone and gripped silver brackets. Someone had pruned their smaller shoots into the shapes of hands. Beyond the far arch, an amber sky stretched above a vineyard. Rory walked towards it. The Heartstone cooled a little with each step, though a
pulse
of
warmth
still beat through the chain. The passage opened onto a terrace cut into the side of a hill. Vines covered the slopes below, their leaves dark green and their fruit almost black. Farther out, orchards spread between white roads. Trees bent under the
weight
of pale globes, each fruit marked with a red line. Rory watched one split along its seam. A small bird climbed out, shook pulp from its feathers and flew towards a cluster of towers. The towers rose from a palace at the heart of the valley. Bridges linked them at different heights, and streams of people crossed beneath banners sewn with enormous embroidered dishes. Rory heard music from that direction, the pluck of strings and the thud of drums, though the palace stood miles away. A bell rang somewhere below the terrace. The vines shivered. Every bunch of grapes turned on its stem towards the sound. Rory stared. “That’s Dymas?” “Prince Belphegor’s country,” Isolde said. “And the palace?” “His kitchens have many doors.” Nyx stood at the terrace edge.
Their shadow stretched down the
steps, then drew back. “The boy carried the scent of that place. Smoke, fat and iron. He had stood in the kitchen.” Rory took her phone from her pocket. No signal. She opened the photograph again. Jun stood outside the Golden Empress with a paper bag in each hand. Yu-Fei had taken the picture after his first shift, when he had insisted he could carry six orders at once.
He had dropped one on
the pavement and spent ten minutes rescuing the spring rolls from a puddle.
His mother had brought the
photograph to the restaurant. Yu-Fei had called Rory when the police stopped asking questions. On the screen, Jun grinned at someone just beyond the frame. “He told her he’d found a second job,” Rory said. “Three shifts, enough to pay off his debts. She hasn’t heard from him since.” Isolde looked at the photograph. “A bargain travels well in a hungry mouth.” “Did he make one?” “I cannot see his hand on the page.” Rory put the phone away. “Then we find the page.” Steps descended from the terrace through the vineyard. The three of them went down in single file, Rory in front with the cold dagger in her hand. Beneath her boots, the stone had worn into shallow hollows. Thousands of feet had
taken that route
. At the bottom, a narrow canal ran beside the path. Thick red liquid moved through it, carrying grape skins and leaves. The smell reached Rory a moment later, sweet enough to coat her tongue. A woman knelt by the canal with a sieve.
She wore a stained apron
over a dress of stiff green
silk
. When she lifted the sieve, tiny silver fish wriggled among the grape skins.
She tipped them into a
bucket and glanced up.
Her eyes rested on Rory’s
blade. “Put that away before someone sees it.” “Where’s the palace kitchen?” Rory asked. “Which one?” “The one that takes people from London.” The woman’s sieve stopped in the current. “Most of them.” Rory showed her Jun’s photograph. The woman leaned close, her wet fingers gripping the rim of the bucket. “He peeled pears in the lower kitchens. He cut himself, and the master took him away.” “Where?” The woman glanced towards the road. A cart approached between the vines, drawn by two broad animals with the bodies of oxen and the heads of pigs. Copper bells hung from their harnesses. “Down the service road. Follow the water until it goes under the hill. There’s a door with seven locks. Use the fourth.” “What happened to his hand?” “He cut a pear. The master saw what came out.” The cart rounded the bend.
Its driver wore a tall
white hat and a mask made from the polished shell of a crab. The woman bent over her sieve. Rory slipped the dagger inside her coat. Nyx flattened against the vine trunks, and Isolde turned her face towards the fruit. The cart rolled past, its wheels pressing juice from fallen grapes. Under a canvas cover lay a heap of silver serving trays. One shifted. A hand emerged, clutched the edge of the cart and disappeared beneath the canvas. Rory took a step after it. The woman caught her coat. “Not that one. The driver has a bell.” The cart continued along the road. Rory could hear movement beneath the cover, a scrape and a muffled knock. “What does the bell do?” “It calls the hounds.” Rory watched the cart until it passed behind the vines.
Then she pulled the photograph
out again and held it towards the woman. “His name’s Jun. If you see him before we do, tell him his mother sent us.” The woman looked at the image for a long moment. “She came all this way?” “I did.” The woman touched the picture with one stained finger. “Then tell him yourself.” The service road narrowed as it followed the canal into the hill. The vines gave way to walls of packed earth, threaded with roots. Little doors appeared in the bank, some no larger than Rory’s hand. She heard chopping through one, laughter through another. Behind a third, someone sang in Welsh. Rory stopped.
Her mother sang that song
while she marked schoolbooks at the kitchen table. Rory pressed her palm against the door. The voice continued, thin and clear, but the words had changed. It sang her name. Nyx drew close. “Do not open it.” The song broke off. A fingernail scratched the other side of the wood. Rory stepped back. “Is there someone in there?” “There is something that heard you speak.” The scratching followed them until the road dipped beneath an arch of tangled roots. Inside, the canal poured into a stone channel, and the air smelled of yeast and hot metal. Lamps hung from chains overhead.
Their flames burned inside clear
shells, and each flame cast the shadow of a person on the wall. Some of the shadows worked. One kneaded dough. Another raised a cleaver and brought it down again and again. Rory held her hand in front of a lamp, but her shadow did not join them. Isolde touched one of the shells. The figure inside its light stopped kneading and turned towards her. The seer withdrew her hand. “Those are people?” Rory asked. “Pieces of them.” “Can we break the lamps?” “The flames would go out.” The shadow lifted both arms and laid its palms against the wall. Rory saw the outline of each finger. She reached up, but Isolde caught her wrist. “Find the body first,” Isolde said. “A hand cannot live without an arm.” At the end of the passage stood a bronze door. Seven keyholes ran down its centre. Each had a different shape: a crown, a fish, a cup, a hand, an eye, a tooth and a plain round hole. Rory crouched before the fourth. “No key.” Nyx leaned over her shoulder. Their voice brushed her ear like a breath through reeds. “In my century, a lock of this sort required an offering.” “Your century had locks like this?” “My century had fools. They built
remarkable
things.” Rory pressed her hand to the fourth keyhole. Bronze teeth closed around her fingers. She jerked, but they held fast. A sharp point pierced her palm. The lock drank. Blood ran into the shape of a hand, filling its narrow grooves. Rory gritted her teeth and kept her arm still. The other six keyholes opened. Eyes looked out of them. “Nyx.” “I see them.” A bolt scraped back. The teeth released her, and the door swung inwards. Rory wrapped her bleeding hand in the hem of her shirt. The eyes vanished as the door passed the frame. Beyond it, a stair descended into a hall so large that its far wall lay out of sight. Tables filled the floor. Hundreds of people sat at them, their heads bowed over plates. Some wore aprons, some suits or work uniforms. One man wore a football shirt, its sleeves rolled above flour-dusted elbows. They ate without speaking. Servants moved among them with bowls and carved meat, filling each plate before it could empty. The scents came in layers: roasted garlic, butter, citrus peel, then something sweet and rotten beneath it all. Rory’s
stomach
tightened. She had eaten before leaving London, but the smell drew saliva into her mouth. A woman near the stairs raised a spoon. Her hand
trembled
so hard that soup spilled down her chin. A servant caught the spoon and guided it between her lips. She swallowed, tears running down her face. Rory gripped the rail. “Why don’t they stop?” “Look at their plates,” Nyx said. A thin cord ran from each plate to the diner’s wrist. The woman pulled her arm back, and the cord tightened. Her spoon struck her teeth. Isolde crouched beside a place at the end of the nearest table. The diner’s chair stood empty. A fork lay across a plate heaped with sliced pears. Each slice bore a small red mark. Rory recognised it from Jun’s hand. He had drawn the same mark on takeaway boxes when an order contained nuts, a little red star with one uneven point. She picked up the fork. Under the plate lay a folded slip of paper, greasy at the edges. JUN LIU, it read. Below his name sat a line of smaller print. Rory unfolded it. The paper kept opening, longer than any sheet had a right to be, until it spilled across the table and brushed the floor. Lines of cramped text covered both sides. A few words stood out in red ink. SERVICE. APPETITE. REMAINDER. Near the bottom, a fingerprint marked a blank space. “He signed with his thumb,” Rory said. “Did he?” Isolde asked. Rory examined the print. The ink had spread through the ridges, but a small white crescent cut across its centre. She turned her hand over. The cut on her palm had soaked through the cloth. The crescent belonged to her. She put the contract down. “I’ve never seen this.” Nyx’s shadow pooled beneath the table, reaching towards the other diners’ feet. “The boy took your skin.” “He needed my hand to open the door.” “He needed your mark,” Isolde said. “The door took the rest.” Rory
scanned
the contract again. Her father had taught her to read the dull parts first, the definitions and exceptions buried where a tired eye would skip them. She followed the text with her injured hand. The document named Jun as the subject of the service, not the person who had agreed to it. The signatory promised to provide a replacement if the subject failed to fulfil his duties. Beneath that, in smaller script, the contract described failure. Spillage. Refusal. Injury to produce. “He cut a pear,” Rory said. Across the hall, a bell rang. Every diner lowered their fork. A servant climbed onto a low platform at the centre of the tables. He wore a white coat with buttons made from teeth. In his hand he carried a pear on a silver dish. Its skin had split along a red line, and dark liquid dripped from the cut. “Who marked the master’s fruit?” No one spoke. The servant lifted the pear by its stem. Rory saw a face inside the split, small as a walnut. Its mouth opened and closed. The dark liquid ran from one eye. At the far end of the hall, two servants hauled Jun through a doorway. His apron hung in strips, and a bandage covered his right hand. He fought them until one servant twisted his arm behind his back. His knees struck the floor. Rory started towards him. Nyx caught her sleeve. “There are forty servants between you and the platform.” “Then get him from underneath.” Their violet
eyes narrowed
. “The cords cross the floor. They will catch me.” Rory glanced at the diners’ wrists, then at the lamp shadows along the stair. “Not if they stand up.” She drew the Fae blade and cut the cord beside the empty chair. It parted without resistance. The loose end writhed across the table and dropped into a bowl of soup. The nearest diner stared at it. Rory put the dagger in her hand. “Cut the next one.” The woman’s fingers closed around the hilt. She sawed through the cord on her wrist, then reached for the man beside her. A servant at the end of the table turned. “Your spoon,” he said. The woman drove the blade through his hand and into the wood. He screamed. Diners rose around him, chairs scraping back. The woman passed the dagger down the table. Another cord snapped, then another. Nyx poured across the floor beneath their feet. On the platform, the servant dropped the pear. It burst against the tiles, and the little face screamed. A sound answered from every dish in the hall. Fruit split. Pastry shells cracked. Bowls of soup rippled as mouths broke their surfaces. Rory ran between the tables. Diners shoved servants aside, seized knives, tore at their cords. One man pulled so hard that his plate flew off the table and
shattered
against a pillar. The cord fell from his wrist. Jun saw her and stared. “Rory?” “Your mum sent me. Get down.” The servant holding his arm reached for a knife. A blade of shadow slid up his leg and wrapped around his throat. Nyx rose behind him, taller than Rory had ever seen them, and pulled him into the darkness beneath the platform. The second servant lunged at Rory. Isolde stepped into his path and placed two fingers against his chest. “Your master calls.” The servant froze. From somewhere deep in the hall came a wet, deliberate crunch. He turned towards it. Isolde took Jun’s arm and pulled him free. Rory caught Jun as he stumbled. His bandaged hand pressed against his
stomach
. “Can you run?” “I can. Rory, don’t touch the pears.” A chair struck the platform. The diners surged around it, dragging one another towards the stairs. Rory searched the crowd for the Fae blade. The woman had passed it to a man in a flour-stained shirt, who cut a cord and flung the dagger back to her. Rory caught the cold hilt. She grabbed Jun’s uninjured hand, and they ran. A bell
began to
ring behind them, louder than the first. Servants poured through the far doorway. Some carried cleavers. Others held long silver poles with hooks on the end. Nyx rose beside the bronze door, holding it open. “Quickly.” Rory pushed Jun through. Isolde followed, her silver hair
streaming
behind her. A diner squeezed past them, then another. Nyx held the door against the crush as Rory turned back and cut the cord from a man’s ankle. The lamps along the passage flared. Shadows abandoned their work and crowded against the walls, palms and faces straining out of the light. A shell cracked overhead. Its flame fell onto a woman’s shoulder, and she cried out as a second shadow sprang from her feet. The bronze door shuddered. Nyx pressed both hands against it. “Go.” Rory pulled Jun up the passage. His breath came ragged, but he kept pace. Behind them, the crowd pushed through the arch of roots and out onto the service road. The cart waited there. Its driver stood beside the oxen, one hand on a copper bell. The canvas had slipped from the trays. Beneath them lay a cage packed with people, their fingers curled around the bars. The driver rang the bell. The vines along the road convulsed. Grapes burst against one another, spilling juice over the leaves. From beneath the roots came the sound of claws scraping stone. Rory shoved Jun behind her and raised the dagger. The earth split open. A pale snout thrust through, followed by a row of teeth and a collar of braided human hands. The creature hauled itself onto the road and opened its jaws. Inside its mouth, a second bell
began to
ring.
created_at
"2026-10-27T11:38:18.332Z"
10/27/2026, 11:38:18 AM
model
"openai/gpt-6.1-terra-20261026"
app_id
182717
external_user
(null)
streamed
true
cancelled
false
latency
4101
moderation_latency
(null)
generation_time
58670
tokens_prompt
5142
tokens_completion
4631
native_tokens_prompt
4854
native_tokens_completion
4107
native_tokens_completion_images
0
native_tokens_reasoning
206
native_tokens_cached
4851
num_media_prompt
(null)
num_input_audio_prompt
(null)
num_media_completion
0
num_search_results
(null)
num_fetches
(null)
web_search_engine
(null)
origin
"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byok
false
finish_reason
"stop"
native_finish_reason
"completed"
service_tier
"default"
usage
0.02078055
router
(null)
user_agent
"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.22.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer
(null)
request_id
"req-1793101098-nBm3FH37eLs4Stq8OTuL"
session_id
(null)
preset_id
(null)
api_type
"completions"
id
"gen-1793101098-1LhiY7BHwjRAAoyLTQ9L"
upstream_id
"resp_0600ad883aa569c0016ae08d2a696487d1adee4afc6c5e1875"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id
"2d2ad10f-098e-4bbf-aa95-11f705b2b9a2"
id
"resp_0600ad883aa569c0016ae08d2a696487d1adee4afc6c5e1875"
is_byok
false
latency
368
model_permaslug
"openai/gpt-6.1-terra-20261026"
provider_name
"OpenAI"
status
200
total_cost
0.02078055
cache_discount
0.00460845
upstream_inference_cost
0
provider_name
"OpenAI"
response_cache_source_id
(null)
data_region
"global"
workspace_id
"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"
Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
17
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
77
tagDensity
0.221
leniency
0.442
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
98.40%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
3120
totalAiIsmAdverbs
1
found
0
adverb
"quickly"
count
1
highlights
0
"quickly"
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
80.77%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
3120
totalAiIsms
12
found
0
word
"flickered"
count
1
1
word
"pulse"
count
1
2
word
"warmth"
count
1
3
word
"weight"
count
1
4
word
"silk"
count
1
5
word
"remarkable"
count
1
6
word
"stomach"
count
2
7
word
"trembled"
count
1
8
word
"scanned"
count
1
9
word
"shattered"
count
1
10
word
"streaming"
count
1
highlights
0
"flickered"
1
"pulse"
2
"warmth"
3
"weight"
4
"silk"
5
"remarkable"
6
"stomach"
7
"trembled"
8
"scanned"
9
"shattered"
10
"streaming"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
1
maxInWindow
1
found
0
label
"eyes widened/narrowed"
count
1
highlights
0
"eyes narrowed"
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
303
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
0
hedgeCount
3
narrationSentences
303
filterMatches
(empty)
hedgeMatches
0
"started to"
1
"began to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
365
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
repeatedSegmentCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
24
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
3120
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
20
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
33.33%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
113
wordCount
2680
uniqueNames
11
maxNameDensity
2.16
worstName
"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity
4
worstWindowName
"Rory"
discoveredNames
Fae
3
Rory
58
Heartstone
2
Nyx
15
Golden
1
Empress
1
Jun
13
Isolde
14
Welsh
1
London
1
One
4
persons
0
"Rory"
1
"Heartstone"
2
"Nyx"
3
"Jun"
4
"Isolde"
5
"One"
places
0
"Golden"
1
"Welsh"
2
"London"
globalScore
0.418
windowScore
0.333
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
210
glossingSentenceCount
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
0
per1kWords
0
wordCount
3120
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
2
totalSentences
365
matches
0
"taken that route"
1
"sang that song"
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
190
mean
16.42
std
14.83
cv
0.903
sampleLengths
0
20
1
17
2
5
3
25
4
40
5
25
6
3
7
25
8
33
9
26
10
5
11
6
12
4
13
8
14
42
15
17
16
10
17
8
18
9
19
14
20
69
21
11
22
22
23
73
24
51
25
21
26
2
27
2
28
5
29
3
30
5
31
15
32
18
33
14
34
51
35
19
36
11
37
24
38
5
39
8
40
4
41
8
42
10
43
44
44
34
45
43
46
6
47
7
48
6
49
2
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
0
totalSentences
303
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
0
totalVerbs
433
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
365
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
94.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
1851
adjectiveStacks
1
stackExamples
0
"above flour-dusted elbows."
adverbCount
35
adverbRatio
0.0189086980010805
lyAdverbCount
0
lyAdverbRatio
0
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
365
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
365
mean
8.55
std
4.9
cv
0.574
sampleLengths
0
20
1
8
2
9
3
5
4
6
5
19
6
14
7
10
8
16
9
5
10
12
11
8
12
3
13
5
14
7
15
13
16
5
17
19
18
9
19
5
20
4
21
17
22
5
23
6
24
4
25
8
26
5
27
22
28
6
29
9
30
6
31
11
32
6
33
4
34
8
35
9
36
7
37
7
38
11
39
21
40
9
41
17
42
11
43
11
44
4
45
18
46
13
47
14
48
7
49
15
47.26%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
10
diversityRatio
0.28493150684931506
totalSentences
365
uniqueOpeners
104
11.99%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
1
totalSentences
278
matches
0
"Then she pulled the photograph"
ratio
0.004
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
51
totalSentences
278
matches
0
"She braced one foot against"
1
"His wrist twisted in her"
2
"Their shadow flowed over his"
3
"She landed hard on a"
4
"Her left hand shook."
5
"She touched the blade to"
6
"Their violet eyes flickered within"
7
"They stood in a covered"
8
"Their shadow stretched down the"
9
"She opened the photograph again."
10
"He had dropped one on"
11
"His mother had brought the"
12
"She wore a stained apron"
13
"She tipped them into a"
14
"Her eyes rested on Rory’s"
15
"Its driver wore a tall"
16
"She heard chopping through one,"
17
"Her mother sang that song"
18
"It sang her name."
19
"Their flames burned inside clear"
ratio
0.183
28.35%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
240
totalSentences
278
matches
0
"Rory caught the boy’s wrist"
1
"Something seized her fingers from"
2
"She braced one foot against"
3
"the boy said"
4
"His wrist twisted in her"
5
"The skin came away, soft"
6
"Rory drew the Fae blade"
7
"The moonsilver edge cut a"
8
"A smell of crushed grapes"
9
"Nyx struck him from behind."
10
"Their shadow flowed over his"
11
"The boy’s shape crumpled around"
12
"Rory stumbled into the cut."
13
"She landed hard on a"
14
"Isolde stepped through after her."
15
"The silver-haired seer pressed her"
16
"Rory got to her feet."
17
"Her left hand shook."
18
"A smear of purple flesh"
19
"Rory looked at the wall."
ratio
0.863
0.00%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
0
totalSentences
278
matches
(empty)
ratio
0
100.00%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
118
technicalSentenceCount
1
matches
0
"The woman had passed it to a man in a flour-stained shirt, who cut a cord and flung the dagger back to her."
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
17
uselessAdditionCount
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
15
fancyCount
0
fancyTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
77
tagDensity
0.195
leniency
0.39
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
86.4699%