“Okay, Bill, are you sure this is the plan?” Molly whispered, peering through the bushes at the brightly colored balloons bobbing in the breeze. “Absolutely, Molly! It’s foolproof!” Bill replied, adjusting his ski mask. “What could go wrong?” “Uh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that we’re robbing a children’s party? You think they’ll just let us waltz in and take the presents?” “Relax! We’ll just blend in. Look at those kids! They’re too busy with cake and games to notice us.” “Right, because nothing screams ‘party crasher’ like two adults in ski masks.” “Okay, fine. We ditch the masks. But we need a distraction.” “A distraction? Like what? A clown? Because I’m not dressing up as a clown, Bill.” “No, no, not a clown! We’ll just—oh! Look! There’s a piñata!” “A piñata? You want to smash a piñata to distract everyone?” “Exactly! We smash it, everyone runs over, and we grab the presents!” “Brilliant! And then what? We run away with a bunch of stuffed animals and toy trucks?” “Hey, those stuffed animals are worth something! You ever seen how much they sell for on eBay?” “Yeah, but I’m not sure ‘stuffed animal thief’ is a great career move.” “Come on, Molly! Think of the glory! We’ll be legends!” “Legends? More like the laughingstock of the criminal world. ‘Remember that time Bill and Molly tried to rob a kid’s party?’” “Okay, okay, but we can’t back out now. We’ve come too far!” “Too far? We’re still in the bushes!” “Fine! Let’s just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?” “Bill, I can think of a few things. Like getting tackled by a bunch of six-year-olds.” “Pfft! They’re kids! How tough can they be?” “Have you seen how competitive they get over cake? I’m not risking it.” “Alright, alright. We’ll just be stealthy. Like ninjas!” “Ninjas? You do realize ninjas don’t wear bright colors, right?” “Okay, fine! We’ll wear dark clothes. But we need to move fast!” “Fast? You mean like running away with our tails between our legs?” “More like… stealthily acquiring the goods!” “Stealthily acquiring? Is that what we’re calling it now?” “Sure! It sounds better than ‘stealing from kids.’” “Right, because that’s the moral high ground we’re aiming for.” “Look, we’re not hurting anyone! Just borrowing some toys!” “Borrowing? Is that what you call it? Because I’m pretty sure the kids won’t see it that way.” “Okay, okay! We’ll return them! After we sell them!” “Bill, you’re not making this any better.” “Fine! We’ll just take the presents and leave a note! ‘Thanks for the gifts! Love, the Thieves!’” “Yeah, that’ll go over well. ‘Oh, look, kids! The thieves left us a thank-you note!’” “Okay, okay! Let’s just go in, grab the presents, and get out. No notes!” “Fine! But if we get caught, I’m blaming you.” “Deal! Now, on three. One… two… three!” “Wait! What if they have a guard dog?” “Then we’ll just distract it with a piece of cake!” “Bill, you’re ridiculous.” “Yeah, but I’m your ridiculous partner! Now let’s go!”