Molly drove her rusty van down the suburban street, scanning the homes on the left as Bill rode shotgun. "There it is," she said, pulling over and parking behind an SUV. "The house with the big "Happy 8th Birthday Timmy!" lawn sign." Bill peered through the windshield at the modest split-level, a frown creasing his weathered face. "I don't know about this, Mol. A kid's birthday? It feels...wrong somehow." "Oh please," Molly scoffed. "I started stealing candy from trick-or-treaters by the time I was six. These rug rats are practically sitting ducks. Now hand me the lockpick set, I'll pop the basement window." "You're the boss," Bill said with a shrug, passing the tools. He checked the bag of pillowcase sacks and ski masks in the back seat. "Rags are ready. Let's find us some loot." Molly jimmied the glass open and shimmied in, Bill clambering in behind her. "Oof, something smells like cheap pizza," she muttered, flipping on her flashlight. They crept upstairs, hearing delighted shrieks echoing from the living room. "Quick pickings," Molly whispered, darting to a heaping pile of presents. She began pulling tags and making piles. "Let's see here...Taiwanese plastic junk for the poor kids, My Little Pony for the brats, gamer stuff for Timmy I guess..." "Will you hurry up?" Bill hissed, scanning skittishy. Suddenly a small voice piped up. "It's spoil your fun time!" A munchkin in a batman mask emerged from the bathroom, pointing accusatoryly. More pint-sized crusaders appeared - a Power Ranger, Supergirl, Ironman, and Harry Potter. In full costumes. Armed with Nerf blasters. "Ah...hello there," Molly purred, slowly rising. "What's all this then?" The Power Ranger leveled his foam sword. "You're the Birthday Bandits! I knew your evil would rear its ugly head! Prepare for defeat!" Bill began backing toward the window, hands up. "Molly, I got a bad feeling..." But Molly cracked her knuckles. " Little getups! Yous stole my time. Time to steal your presents!' A barrage of foam darts and suction cups pelted Molly as shrieks of child glee filled the room. "Ahh!" She cried, flailing blindly. Bill watched in disbelief as his partner waded into the storm, swatting ineffectively. "Okay, present time's over!" Supergirl yelled gleefully. The pint-sized gang advanced, determined to protect their gifts. Suddenly Bill sprang into action, hefting an emergency piñata from the pile and deploying it like a shield. Beans rained down as he batted aside blasters. "Now that entrance has upgrade!" He body-checked the kids aside into yipping piles as Molly scooped armfuls of loot. Together they waddled to the window and launched out into night, presents and van. "It's back to the drawing board," Bill panted, dumping Lego and dolls into the van. Molly ripped off her hood, hair a riot of purple frosting. "No way, I've got the perfect revenge..." A Cheshire grin spread her face. "Bounce house jackers, let's bounce!"