“Okay, Bill, are you sure this is a good idea?” Molly whispered, peering through the bushes at the brightly colored balloons bobbing in the breeze. “Of course it’s a good idea! Look at all those presents!” Bill replied, rubbing his hands together. “We’re talking about a mountain of toys, Molly. A veritable treasure trove!” “Yeah, but it’s a children’s party. What if we get caught? I don’t want to end up on the news as the ‘Grinch Bandits’ or something.” “Relax! We’ll be in and out before anyone even notices. Besides, who’s going to suspect two harmless thieves at a kid’s party?” “Harmless? You just called us thieves! That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement.” “Okay, okay, maybe ‘harmless’ isn’t the right word. But we’re not dangerous! We’re just… opportunistic.” “Opportunistic? Is that what we’re calling it now? I thought we were just plain old criminals.” “Criminals with style! Look, I’ve got the plan right here.” Bill pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. “Step one: distract the kids with the clown.” “The clown? You mean the one with the giant shoes and the creepy smile?” “Exactly! While they’re all laughing and pointing, we swoop in and grab the loot.” “Right, because nothing says ‘steal the presents’ like a clown doing balloon animals.” “Trust me, it’ll work! Step two: we grab the biggest bag we can find and stuff it full of toys.” “Step three: run like the wind?” “Exactly! You’re catching on! And then we’ll split the haul fifty-fifty.” “Fifty-fifty? What if I do all the heavy lifting?” “Then it’s sixty-forty. You know I’m a generous partner.” “Generous? You mean ‘self-serving.’” “Hey, I’m the one with the plan! You’re just here for moral support.” “Moral support? I’m risking my freedom for this! I should get at least seventy-thirty.” “Fine! Seventy-thirty, but only if you wear the clown wig.” “Wait, what? I’m not wearing a clown wig!” “Then it’s back to fifty-fifty.” “Ugh, you drive a hard bargain, Bill. But I’m not wearing that wig.” “Okay, okay, no wig. But you have to do the distraction. You’re better at making a scene.” “Me? I’m not a performer! I can’t just start dancing around like a lunatic!” “Sure you can! Just think of it as a warm-up for your future career as a professional thief.” “Professional thief? Is that a thing? I thought we were just amateurs.” “Amateurs with potential! Now, are you in or out?” “Fine! I’ll distract the kids. But if I get caught, I’m blaming you.” “Deal! Now, let’s go over the plan one more time. You distract, I grab, and we meet back at the van.” “Right. And if the clown starts throwing pies, I’m out.” “Pies? What kind of party do you think this is?” “An unpredictable one! You know how kids are.” “Okay, no pies. Just balloons and laughter. We’ll be fine!” “Famous last words, Bill. But let’s do this. For the toys!” “For the toys!”