Bill balanced on the lawn chair, black eye mask skidding across his forehead, as he zoomed into focus. "Alright, Molly, you are the most disorganized heist-rigger I have ever met!" Molly paced in circles, tossing baby socks and pompom hats into a pile with a huff. "I've got the remote stuffed away somewhere. It'll be here, Bill!" Bill removed his mask, his annoyed glare made worse by his thick Lasik lenses. "I thought that was the point of your 'remote'. To hide them!" Molly shoved a red sleeping bag into a bag of legos. "Well, I didn't think it'd take this long to dig through a toddler's room. Of all the places you could have picked!" Bill jumped to his feet, the chair pitching back onto its tippy-tops. "Hey, I'm a master of disguises, not childproofing. I'm a villain, not a childcare center!" Molly refastened her eye mask. "White and gray. He's sleeping in a crib, I'm about to slow climb into a nursery." Bill waved her instructions away. "Just. Don't. Scare. Him." "Right, right, good ol' Scared Santa clause." Bill was ready to remove his eye mask a second time when he remembered what the mother swore when he found out they were doing this. He didn't like threats, especially on children. The last child who had decided to sue after he got caught was just starting law school. Poor kid couldn't resist a challenge. Molly's voice wafted to him over a bed of snores. "Bill?" He paused on the brink of the open window. "Mmm?" "Have we ever robbed a baby before?" "My darling, your mother told me not to do it already." There was a pregnant pause as Molly peeled back the crib mobile. Bill picked his way down the harness lying on the windowsill on the floor. It was long enough for a first adventure. A fifty foot drop would surely do the trick. "Bill?" "Yes, Molly." "What size would you say he is?" Fifteen minutes later, Bill's tired arms shook as he lowered a screaming silhouette down to him. Tears and spit dripped from the metaphorical punch his baby buddy threw at him. It met his mask in a stinging blur. He stamped backwards until his sore buttocks hit the grass. He nursed the hole in his pride in silence. "What's wrong?' Molly exclaimed, holding the baby like it was a bag of bullets. "I thought he liked you!" "I do!" Bill snapped, "I thought he only liked random neon orange sprinkles! But I guess if you want me to break into his crib you are going to have to pull that prissy garment from my teeth!" "Breeeaaayz, not so tight, Mr. Bill!" Bill winced and let go, falling half conscious into the grass. "Molly, I've been over pulled." Molly plucked at the collar of his jacket. With a hard tug, she had him dancing on the tips of his toes. "Dive catch!" "What?" Stale dust motes coated Molly as she sand boarded down the roof. Bill. Well, Bill fell. His mouth made a white shock mark against the wood boards. "Enjoy pony rides, little Santa! We took your gifts!" Molly caught his hand and shot him a smile. "You're the best at diving catches, aren't you?" Bill groaned, arms over his head. "Oh, no!" he complained. "You promised this time you'd be ready! I thought that restraint package… you never … promised!" Molly blushed and turned her head. "I know. I'm sorry, Bill. Could you please get my mascara off? It's got food coloring in it. I'm ruining my makeup. Again. I'm smaller now. Ouch!" "You deserve it! Why can't you ever remember our entries?" Molly shrugged, staring at her entry finger painting. "It's so funny to change the size of your exit!" They walked down their home alley, laughing. Everything was thrown into a suitcase while Molly brushed makeup off of her fingers. Not a trace of a memory stuck to Bill. "Well," She said, placing Bill's sunglasses on his face. "We've done it before, haven't we, Bill? This is the third kid we've ruined Christmas for this year!" "And I'm free this weekend, so it's time for me to pick the curly bracelets. Where should we store it?" "No, Bill, I have one last surprise for us. You don't know, do you?" Bill shook his head. "You are in a diaper. We are this store's test babies." Bill laughed. "One more heist!"umptech