"You can't seriously think this is a good idea," Molly said, adjusting her fake mustache in the rearview mirror of their parked van. "It's brilliant. Kids get too many presents these days anyway. Think of it as a public service." Bill was busy sorting through a bag of party supplies they'd picked up from the dollar store. "Breaking into little Timothy whatever-his-name-is's birthday party is not a public service, Bill." "Look, the intel is solid. Rich neighborhood, thirty-plus kids confirmed on the Facebook event, and every soccer mom trying to outdo each other with the presents. We're talking premium haul here." Molly turned to face him. "And your master plan is to dress up as party clowns?" "Party entertainers," Bill corrected, pulling out a rainbow wig. "Nobody questions the entertainment at these things. Parents are too busy drinking wine spritzers and gossiping about their property values." "I hate clowns." "You're not a clown. You're a mime." "That's worse!" Molly threw her hands up. "And how exactly are we supposed to steal presents while performing?" Bill grinned, applying a red nose. "Simple. You do your mime routine, get all the kids to follow you to the backyard for a 'special show.' Meanwhile, I tell the parents I'm setting up for the grand finale in the living room. That's when I bag the goods." "And my special show?" "Just do that weird wall-touching thing you mimes love." "I'm not actually a mime, Bill. I don't know any mime stuff." "Wing it. Kids are stupid. They'll believe anything." Molly sighed, wiping off the mustache. "This is worse than the time you wanted to steal from that pet store by releasing all the puppies." "Hey, that would've worked if you hadn't been allergic to dogs." "The point is, this is ridiculous. We're professional thieves. We should be hitting jewelry stores or banks or..." "Boring! Anyone can rob a bank. This takes creativity. Plus, have you seen how much Lego sets cost these days? We're talking serious resale value." "I can't believe I'm even considering this," Molly muttered, reaching for the white face paint. "That's the spirit! Now, remember – when I give the signal, which is me pretending to have a clown emergency..." "A clown emergency?" "Yes, very serious business. When that happens, get those kids out back. And try to look more mime-like. You're giving off more 'recently escaped convict' vibes." "I hate you so much right now." "Save that anger for your performance. Mimes are supposed to be tortured artists anyway." Bill honked his plastic red nose experimentally. "Ready to make some children cry?" "If we get caught, I'm telling the police this was all your idea." "Noted. Now come on, we've got a party to crash. And Molly?" "What?" "Try to smile. You're supposed to be entertaining, not looking like you're planning their demise." "I'm a mime. We don't smile." "Perfect! You're getting into character already!"