A humid front porch glowed. Moonlight and party lights mingled in the distance. Molly: "You got the flashlight?" Bill: "Right here, but it's flickering. Could have used new batteries." Molly: "Batteries are heavy. We travel light." Bill: "We agreed. No weight, big payout. Kids tonight, grandma's mansion tomorrow." Molly: "Focus. Phase one: break in." Bill: "Phase two: pocket the gifts. Phase three: salsa dance exit." They crept beneath a hedge and peered through a dusty window. Molly: "Room is packed. Balloons, cupcakes, chaos." Bill: "I count one clown, two toddlers, three screaming kids." Molly: "Distraction: gumdrop grenade." Bill: "Gumdrop grenade? You're setting candy bombs?" Molly: "Boom! Kids frenzy." Bill: "Deploy!" Molly flipped a handful of gumdrops. Chaos erupted. Bill: "Nice work. Now to the loot." Molly: "Over there, under the table." Bill: "It's a mountain of presents." They tiptoed in wearing party hats as camouflage. Molly: "Hurry before that clown notices." Bill: "Why am I wearing a party hat?" Molly: "It's part of the plan. Blend in, then bolt." Bill: "I look ridiculous." Molly: "Laugh? It's your best cover." Bill: "These ribbons are sticking to me!" Molly: "Just roll, dip, disappear." They backed toward the door, gifts spilling like confetti. Bill: "Wait, party music stopped." Molly: "Then move!" Bill: "Go!" Footsteps echoed in the hallway. Molly: "Sprint on three. One... two..." Bill: "Three!" They dashed outside, gifts bouncing in their arms. Molly: "Made it! Zero casualties." Bill: "What now? We still have a box to move." Molly: "Wheelbarrow idea." Bill retrieved a hidden barrow while Molly secured her hat. Bill: "Time for the grand escape." Molly: "Finally, salsa road method." They rolled through the driveway, gifts clattering in the wheelbarrow. Molly: "This is the weirdest great heist ever." Bill: "Only you could plan a perfect crime like this." Molly: "Now let's disappear before the cops show up." Sirens wailed faintly in the distance as they vanished into the night. Bill: "Next stop: grandma's mansion." Molly: "And maybe big sandwiches." Bill: "I can't believe we lugged thirty pounds of wrapping paper and ribbon across someone's lawn. My back is screaming. And what about fingerprints? We forgot to wear gloves. There'll be smudges on every box. Did you at least disable the security cameras? Clowns scaring toddlers is one thing, but a recorded heist is another. Should we distribute the loot now or wait till the coast is clear?" Molly: "Relax, drama king. I swapped the camera feed with a loop of the clown juggling kittens. They'll review the tape and think it's a birthday bonus. We're geniuses. Then we slip into the alley, fill my backpack with gifts, drive to the safe house, and redistribute presents like Robin Hood. Come on, move your overloaded frame before you become part of the evidence." Bill: "Got it. Let's roll out, pick up sandwiches, and celebrate our greatest crime with stolen cake. Tomorrow's nursing home gala awaits." Molly: "Can we stop for tacos on the way?" They melted into shadow, giggles muffled by distance.