Molly and Bill crouch behind a row of flamingos outside a house. Balloons bob by the window, laughter drifts out. Bill: Do we have the blueprint of the cake table? Molly: I photocopied the invitation — the seating chart doubles as a treasure map. Bill: Perfect. Which presents are we targeting first? Molly: The big blue box by the rainbow unicorn piñata. It's calling our names. Bill: What if the parents catch us? Molly: We’ll wear clown noses, join the conga line, distract them with slapstick. Bill: Then we'd look suspiciously skilled at slapstick. Molly: Exactly! Who honestly even steals with pratfalls? Bill: Smart. How do we smuggle a five-foot teddy bear? Molly: We collapse it and hide it under the giant sandwich platter. Bill: You think anyone will check under sandwiches? Molly: Nobody’s brave enough to lift a two-foot high mound of bologna. Bill: All right. At ten o’clock we slip in dressed as balloon animals. Molly: And at ten-thirty we’re gone with every gift and zero crumbs on our suits. Bill: What about the piñata? We can hit it and scoop up the loot. Molly: Only if we replace the candy with gummy frogs—they’re soft enough to hide quickly. Bill: High five.