"Bill, you're telling me we're really going to rob a bunch of six-year-olds?" "It's not robbing, Molly. It's redistributing wealth from spoiled rich kids who already have everything." "That's literally what every thief says to justify their crimes." "Look, do you want to pay rent this month or not? Because Mrs. Henderson is already threatening eviction, and I saw her practicing her scary landlord face in the mirror yesterday." "Fine, but this better be worth it. What's the intel on this birthday party?" "Little Timmy Goldwater, son of tech mogul Richard Goldwater. The party's at their mansion in Hillcrest. Guest list includes about twenty kids from the most expensive private school in the city." "Security?" "Just a clown named Bobo and maybe a few soccer moms on wine duty." "Wait, we have to deal with a clown? I hate clowns, Bill. They're terrifying." "Bobo's like seventy years old and wheezes when he makes balloon animals. I think we can handle him." "What's our cover story?" "We're entertainment coordinators. I'll be Captain Sparkles, children's magician extraordinaire, and you'll be my lovely assistant, Glitter McSparkle." "Did you just make up those names right now?" "Yes, but they're brilliant. Kids eat this stuff up." "And our exit strategy?" "Simple. During the pinata chaos, we load the presents into our van disguised as prop boxes for our magic show." "What about the birthday boy? Won't he notice his presents disappearing?" "By the time anyone realizes what happened, we'll be long gone. Besides, rich kids get birthday parties that cost more than most people's cars. He'll survive losing a few action figures." "Action figures? Bill, these aren't regular toys. These kids probably get iPads and designer clothes as party favors." "Even better! Higher resale value." "I still think this is morally questionable." "Says the woman who helped me steal that petting zoo last month." "That was different! Those animals were being mistreated, and we found them good homes." "Right, and these presents will find good homes too. Specifically, the pawn shop on Fifth Street." "You're impossible." "I'm practical. Now quit stalling and help me practice my magic tricks. I need to perfect my disappearing coin routine." "The only thing that needs to disappear is your criminal record." "Very funny. Hand me those handcuffs from the bedroom. I want to practice an escape trick in case things go sideways." "Those aren't magic props, Bill." "They are now. Everything's a prop when you're desperate enough." "Remind me why I'm dating you again?" "Because I make life interesting, and you secretly love the adrenaline rush of our ridiculous schemes." "Well, you're half right." "Which half?" "The ridiculous part."