Molly crouched behind the rainbow-painted fence, peering through a knothole at the chaos beyond. Balloons bobbed frantically in the breeze while a dozen sugar-drunk seven-year-olds shrieked with delight around a bouncy castle. "This feels morally questionable," Bill whispered, adjusting his fake mustache for the third time. "Morally questionable? We're professional thieves, Bill. We robbed a bank last month." "Yeah, but those were adults with mortgages and dental insurance. These kids still believe in the tooth fairy." Molly rolled her eyes and consulted her hand-drawn floor plan of the backyard. The present table sat tantalizingly close to the back gate, piled high with colorfully wrapped boxes that practically screamed valuable electronics and designer toys. "Look, my nephew mentioned Tommy Henderson was getting a PlayStation 5 for his birthday. Do you know how much those resell for?" "I'm aware of electronics pricing, Molly. I'm just saying maybe we should stick to robbing people who can afford good lawyers." A particularly piercing shriek erupted from the party as someone apparently fell off the bouncy castle. Both thieves ducked instinctively. "The plan is foolproof," Molly insisted. "You create a distraction with your clown costume while I grab the goods." Bill looked down at his polka-dot outfit with obvious distaste. The oversized shoes squeaked softly as he shifted his weight. "Remind me why I'm the clown again?" "Because you have the people skills, Bill. I'm better at the sneaking part." "People skills? Last week you called me antisocial for eating lunch alone." "That was constructive criticism. Now stop complaining and practice your balloon animals." Bill pulled out a sad, deflated balloon and attempted to twist it into something vaguely dog-shaped. It immediately popped, causing both thieves to freeze as a dog somewhere in the neighborhood began barking. "This is a disaster waiting to happen," he muttered. The birthday boy's mother appeared near the present table, straightening ribbons and checking her watch. Both thieves held their breath until she disappeared back toward the house. "Window's closing, Bill. It's now or never." "Fine, but if we get arrested, I'm telling the judge this was your idea." "Deal. And Bill?" "What?" "Try not to terrify the children. We want them distracted, not traumatized." Bill stood up and brushed dirt off his costume, the oversized buttons catching sunlight like tiny disco balls. He took a deep breath and painted on his most convincing clown smile. "Here goes nothing." He squeaked toward the gate while Molly began timing the adults' movements. Professional thieves or not, this birthday party was about to become significantly more memorable than anyone had planned.