“You’re telling me this is your grand plan, Bill? A children’s party?” Molly’s voice was a high-pitched squeak, barely audible over the clatter of her spoon against a chipped mug. “It’s brilliant, Molly! Ingenious! Think about it,” Bill gestured wildly with a lukewarm sausage roll, nearly launching it into her eye. “Low security. High value. Adorable, unsuspecting victims.” “Unsuspecting victims are usually the whole point of a heist, Bill. But children? That feels…icky.” “Icky is a strong word. I prefer…opportunistic. Besides, they won’t even know they’ve been robbed. We’ll be in and out before little Tiffany even finishes her first slice of unicorn cake.” “Unicorn cake. Right. And what exactly is the ‘high value’ here, Bill? A mountain of Power Rangers action figures and a lifetime supply of glitter glue?” “Don’t underestimate the modern child, Molly. These aren’t the days of socks and educational puzzles. We’re talking drones, VR headsets, designer baby clothes. And let’s not forget the cold, hard cash in those ‘envelope for Tiffany’s college fund’ cards.” Molly pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, fine. Let’s humor this… ‘ingenious’ plan. What’s the entry strategy? Ninja-style through a second-story window, dodging laser grids and attack poodles?” “Even better! I’ve infiltrated the enemy lines. I’m going as… Boffo the Clown.” Bill puffed out his chest, a self-satisfied grin stretching across his face. Molly choked on her tea. “Boffo the Clown? Bill, your fear of clowns is legendary. You once wet yourself watching a ‘It’ trailer.” “A minor setback! I’m taking one for the team, Molly. Besides, who suspects the clown? They’re practically invisible once they start making balloon animals. And you, my dear, will be my trusty assistant.” “Oh, joy. What thrilling role do I get in this spectacular circus of crime? The strongman's bearded lady? The human cannonball?” “Better! You’ll be… Mrs. Boffo. You’ll manage the ‘puppet show.’ While I distract with my… clowning prowess, you’ll be in the gift table vicinity. Subtle, sophisticated, devastatingly effective.” “Boffo’s wife. Right. And what exactly is my designated weapon? A squirting flower or a rubber chicken?” “Your charm, Molly, your raw, undeniable charm. And perhaps a very large sack for said presents. We’ll be disguised, remember? No one will recognize us. Just a friendly couple spreading joy and… acquiring assets.” “Acquiring assets? Bill, we’re stealing from tiny humans. This is a low point, even for us.” “A temporary low point, leading to a high point of financial solvency! Think of it, Molly. A clean slate, thanks to the generosity of unknowing parents. What could possibly go wrong?” Molly sighed, staring into her mug. “Everything, Bill. Absolutely everything could go wrong.”