"Check the perimeter." "I see three toddlers and a sentient juice box, Molly. The bouncy castle is unguarded." "Focus, Bill. The objective is the mahogany sideboard. Under the bunting." "The loot pile? It’s buried in Frozen wrapping paper." "Exactly. We move during the cake. When the lights go down and the singing starts, we strike." "I’m worried about the clown." "Pogo? He’s a hack. He’ll be distracted by his own balloon animals." "He has shifty eyes, Molly. And those shoes? You can’t run in those. He’s hiding something." "He’s hiding a divorce and a drinking problem, Bill. Just grab the Lego sets. Leave the stuffed owls." "Why leave the owls?" "Low resale value. High squeak risk. Did you bring the distraction?" "The tactical glitter?" "No, the organic kale chips." "In my pocket. Why?" "If things go south, throw them at the parents. Use their confusion over high-density nutrients to cover our exit." "Genius." "Is the getaway trike ready?" "Pedals greased. Wind-up bell silenced." "Good. For the heist of the century, Bill." "For the Legos, Molly." "On my signal. Happy Birthday, kid. You're about to lose your equity."